5 Pics That Made Me Smile and Be Melancholic-Like Today

 

 

 

 

I Love My Family

Damn kau lot of fun

 

Peeling Off A Layer

Everytime I see the word
"Racism"

I remember this specific moment, making me *cringe*
oh I must have been about 10
we lived in what a scotsman would call the 'tenements' then
mother, stepfather, infant sister and I.

Clemma and I we're mucking around under the staircases
when we spied new graffiti on the tar
huge letters that stretched out longer than I
"Fuck Racism" it said

Clemma reads it out
"fuck Rack-sism"
"Rack-sism" she says, "What's that?"
I shrug, we carry on with our business.

Somehow the moment seems symbolic
because it shows me how far I've come from what I was
but it also shows that as chaotic as live was
I was still sheltered, somewhat
didn't even know what racism was.

Triangle- Visiting Outside

Twice this week
I had conversations with different people
about whether it's possible to love two people at the same time?

At a point in time
when I was much younger
and just basically a possesive, insecure child
I would have said 'no', confirmed, without a doubt
don't-even-go-there type of no

But the more I grow, the more I see, experience and do
the more I am open to the fact that there are inumerable
facets to love

Yes, it is possible to love more than one person

and whether you accept it or not
just depends on your individual perception on life and love
your principles, your current emotional standing
your ability to see and think beyond the boundaries set,
outside the box
delve into unchartered territory.

Some people lead a peaceful lives loving more than one
loving each one differently, completely
without causing heartache, without cheapening each pairing

I'm an old fashioned girl at heart
yeah lately I've found myself pushing the levels
of what is emotionally acceptable within relationships
and what not.

but like most other people , at the end of the day
I want to settle down with someone who completes me
loves every single one of my flaws and quirks
as I will them.

But realistically how many people find that?
and if you don't find it,
Would it be possible instead to live contentedly with
several people who love different sides of you
making a whole loved you?

and to love the different parts of different people that
together will make up your perfect person?

Would that be okay? Will it one day be socially acceptable?
Or will a person with multiple relationships always be considered cheap and disloyal?

Even if each party knows, and is cool with it
Even if these relationships
turn out happier, more stable and possess a higher level of respect than
your ordinary relationship because no one told them
what to do, or how to love?

Why is there even a right kind of love
and a wrong?

We have this need for definition
to fit everything we do under the pre-set category
but with if what you have/think/feel
doesnt exist in the box of definitions?

Sometimes you can keep some things undefined
because they are best that way.
drawing lines around something just confines it
spoils its potential to blossom into something even more special.

Ah, but before someone tells me
I forget, the boundaries were set for people
wouldn't be able to function
without being told what's right and wrong,
who need them for guidance.

Chalk it up, another bout of pointless mind wandering for Ms. Ng.

Barbeque Barbeque!

Yo muh niggas!
This Sunday, there's going to be a barbeque
here
5.30-9.30, RM35 per head
Ah theenk it'd be coolness.
Come , be something different to your usual hum-drum Sunday non?

Double Standards

Why is it...
We are so quick to criticise our own countrymen
make racist comments about the indians, chinese and malays
yet when a foreigner turns around and says
exactly what we say about certain countrymen anyway
we are so quick to jump to their defense and all hell breaks loose?

Talk About Efficient- A Rant

The other day I flew for the first time to the new LCCT
Lucky for me, Eric the Genius

was no match for my brilliant skills of persuasion
and agreed to pick me up from KLIA
not just that, he went a step further
and found his way to the LCCT.
*woot* woot*

This ability to anticipate
spared me from having to take the(so called) shuttle
to KLIA, leaving me unprepared
for the journey back.

If you read below, on Monday I woke up bright and early
after 4 hours or so off sleep
thanks to an uncle who wouldn't stop talking

I then proceeded to head into the sweltering heat
that engulfs KL city
before meeting butta for lunch
and that glass of wine
(wine in the afternoon always seems send me into the
dungeons of fatigue)

after which we went home
and Butta, her Mom and her father
promptly fell asleep, one by one
leaving me and baby Trin
(which I loved! but a nap would have prepared me for what was to come)

at 6.15, I rush to pack, reaching Sentral at 7.15
my flight is at 9.05
I am anticipating that the journey from KLIA
to LCCT may take some time
so forgoing dinner for the KLIA Ex at 7.15 seems like a good plan.

10 minutes on the train and AirAsia textes to say my flight is
delayed till 11.10
Too late, I am resigned to 3 half hours of nothingness

I get to KLIA
knowing that there's nothing much at the LCCT,
decide to hang about there till its closer to take-off

By 9 I am bored shitless
I don't know where to check -in
the screens showing check-in and departure
have no info on Air Asia flights
except that each and every single one is delayed
Bangkok, Hanoi, you name it
but is there any info on where to check in?
Nil.

I start looking for info on how to get to the LCCT
deducing that that be where check in is
Save the lame banners by the entrance of the departure hall
advertising the LCCT and telling one that there
is a free shuttle at platform 8
there is NOTHING not a single thing to tell
the weary traveller how to get to the shit hole

Oh, but everywhere there are fliers
announcing their spanking new LCCT terminal

But you wanna know how to get there?
Well, you really wanna go?Do ya?DO ya?
Well you have to work at it honey, hard.
That's the concept they adopted.

I'm getting mighty pissed off. The screens are telling me nothing.
There is (no exaggeration) not a single Air Asia staff at KLIA.

I look for Platform 8
the banners, being by the entrances to the departure hall
numbered 1-8,
make me assume and immediately head for 8.
deserted.

I go to the general Information Counter
they tell me to go to 1
I go there, the people there have been waiting for
two fucking hours.

Its pushing 10pm and I am at wit's end
I can't remember the last time I was so furious
I want to kick something, someone
I want to smash my head through the glass door
I want to screaaaam

I am going berserk
So cuckoo that I am walking around
in circles within the 2 automatic doors
keeping both from shutting.

I call Air Asia, no bloody answer.

Information Counter again.
They tell me to go downstairs to the bus station
and pay to take the bus to the LCCT
(there's a bus station?)
then they have the gall to tell me to rush or I might miss my flight
because the LCCT is 20 freakin kilometers from KLIA

I'm so tired I'm feeling delirious
as I walk to the bus station, I see the platform 8 they meant, was there
and I am a relatively intelligent, street smart person okay
I thrive on text
the fact that I didn't know this from the banner
means it wasn't friggin there!

I look at the screens again
suddenly it shows that my flight has been delayed till 1.20am!
I turn around, stomping towards Malaysian Airlines

I stop at another screen,
my flight is back to 11.10
I am so tired my eyes are playing tricks on me
I trudge back to the bus, get on it
RM1.50.

Finally, the LCCT.

I check in, my flight is now taking off at 11.30

11.45 we get on the plane
I am in a dream-like state of exhaustion
12.45, we are in the exact spot on the runway,
they havent even closed the doors

Can you fucking believe it?
The stewardesses (I use the term loosely) offer
no apology, no explanation, no meal compensation

We are told that there are technical difficulties and that we need to switch planes.

Finally, Penang, 1.45 am
I spy that the Penang passengers have special Air Asia takeout containers
no fair!

Home,2.30 am.

Work, 9.30 am.
What a day man.
Bad mood and pent up negative energy carried over till tuesday
I am sorry mommy, cheryl and nana
for being such a horrible bitch.

Is this where I say "Malaysia Boleh?"

P.S. If you're flying to LCCT, make sure you have a ride
the cabs are on strike because it's farther for them to get there
but they're supposed to charge cheaper fares.

Monday: Brunch, Butta & Babies

Saturday Evening BBQ (ran out of charcoal!)

Of Brazillian Waxes, Bon Bon & Butta

Regarding the first topic in post title,
listen to me girls (or guys)
never ever ever ever
ever
go with the chinese therapists
somehow, chinese therapists and waxing down there
don't go.

Because right, I think they are kinda like
disgusted to be doing it,
(unlike the filipino, malay etc therapists
who seem to take pride in doing it right, i.e.
smooth as a babies bottom and as 'not-that-pain' as is possible with the procedure)

I swear, they just want to get it over and done with
making you more kan cheong that its over and done with
two people in a hurry = pain
lots of it.

__________________________________________________________

When it's over, I head downstairs to meet
the Butta at Bon Bon
it is her first girl-lunch with me since
the coming of Trinity

Butta sits down
"A glass of red wine please,"
says she, when I've ordered coffee

"Babe!," exclaims I, eyes widened
She feigns innnocence, "what?"

"It's five past 12noon!"

"So, babes?How often do I get to do this?"

I order me a wine.

By the time we're both done with a glass each
we're swaying around like lunatics
we need to buy her mom (who is babysitting trin)
cakes for tea.

"Not too rich, not too rich", mutters the Butta
as we scuttle through Bangsar Village

Not to rich not to rich
We chant
giggling like teenagers as we hook arms
to keep from tripping (almost causing each other to trip)

We go to Bakerzin and a few other bakery type places
we peer in the display cases.

"Is it rich?" Butta, regarding the entire display, asks the attending sales girl
"Is what rich?" ask the girl eyeing us disapprovingly
"All of them" says Butta, waving her arms expansively.

I'm trying not to guffaw, you see, Butta and I both know, the moment she said it
thats it's the after effects of wining that's causing such atrocious england

We hurtle through the supermarket, checking out the
in-house bakery and Delicious's selection

"Quiche me, quik!" I exclaim when we peruse the quiches
she pulls me out of the bakery, telling me not to embarass her.

"Look babes," points Butta, "They put the rhizomes together!"
"They are put together to root for each other," I say
as we nearly collapse giggling

People are looking at us weird.

Finally we decide on Bakerzin
Baker's Inn, Bakerzin, Baker's Inn, Bakerzin
we say, over and over letting the words tumble out of our mouths

She nudges me, "Foodie question babe,"
she says, pointing to a madeleine
"What's that shape called?"

"I dunno," says I
and she gives me that how could you not know look
"Its a cornell! I learnt it watching Surfing the Menu!"

Burnt out now, we go to the Taxi Stand.
"Babe, if it's called a Taxi Stand and we're sitting here,
shouldn't it be called a Taxi Sit?"

My Aunts, My Aunts, My Lovely Lady Aunts!

Place: Aji No Ren, Prangin Mall & Starbucks
(an 'aunt' entry without a Starbucks? non possible)
Day: Sunday
Source- of- humour: Deux tantes

Lunchtime with the aunts, one is a regular feature on the blog
the other is visiting, having left her adorable son
in Japan.

I am having 'Kaki Guratan', baked oysters
that will work their aphrodisiacal magic
later causing me to feel annoyingly horny (with no way of releeeeaaase) towards evening

I'm trying to con my aunt into selling me her
Tag Heuer watch
that she bought, after I bought it
(meaning I bought it first, then she saw and copy la
sundu!)
Then I lost mine.

So here I am thinking because we all
"same blood one you know"
she'll sell it (2 and half years old) for half price,
you know how much discount the bitch offers?
200 bucks off
Blood my head!

My other aunt and I together-gether told her to
stuff it up her arse.

So anyways, The One With The Watch
says, " Okay, we go buy number, if I strike, you can have it"

"Set." says I

she continues,
" But, you know what, a few times when I struck,
it was after I went to the very store that I bought this watch from"

we eye her patiently

"What say you, after this we go and browse in the shop for 5 mins?"

We are in Fettes Park. The shop is in Komtar
on a bleedin Sunday. A good 30mins drive for 5 mins or browsing
and the possibility of striking numbers.

And weee each said,
OK.

So we played the first thing that came to ...

er..sorry. Off tangent a bit.

To cut a long story short my aunts and I went to this watch shop
to browse watches for 5 mins.

Then I demanded caffiene
so we traisped through Prangin Mall
to the Starbucks

Me: This is John Mayer playing

Nat: No it's not, you'd think that at least your ears would be useful
since nothing else is. (bitchy!)

Me: I bet you 50 bucks it is!

Aja turns around and asks starbucks chick who it is
she checks and says that its just a general Herbie Hancock CD

Hah!exclaims the bitch, triumphant. Hah!

We grab our hot take away lattes and make as to walk out
'Wait' says the one from Japan 'Don't you guys need straws?'
Nat and I look at each other and just shake our heads.

We walk out into Ah Beng central again.
Nat gets us lost, walking around in circles in the crush of people
I am still perplexed by the sign advertising
"Ear Candling"

The one from Japan suddenly stops in her tracks,
stomps her foot
"I don't care how you two do it
but get me out of this place NOW!"

Thus, an afternoon with the aunts
(actually after that we went to see my Japanese cousin with the Italian name)

Numbers?What numbers?

I know John Mayer okay, I am positive he featured.
Not Kam-wan.
(Later that night, we are our regular starbucks,and since it's like a second home
May (manager) actually brings me the cover and proves me right)

Never got my cash though.

More on Beng-ness

Lately, many people have started giving me their views
on beng-ness
in light of the recent beng posts.

"What's wrong with being beng anyway?
I am proudly beng"
said Macho Daddy Dave when we met up for coffee and tea

as did another beng spout,
when I casually remarked upon his bengness

You see, like most things in life,
we generalise the bengs

and in Bengdom, like every where else
there are different divisions, sectors
social classes, if I may

"It depends on the social status," said another friend
There is HRH Beng, Count Beng,
Biasa Beng and Kampung Beng for instance
some accepted within certain social circles, some frowned upon

Some bengs are educated, intelligent, considerate, well-mannered
yet have no airs and graces
no pretense
preffering instead to be their natural selfs
loud chinesey selfs, if that's what they are

these bengs can be refreshing because
how often nowadays do we find people who
are their complete honest selves?
who don't try to sell a different image
pretend their someone their not?

some bengs are downright crass, rude
and inconsiderate
and those be the bengs we bitch about

It's not all the bengs,
It's just rude, crass, inconsiderate, ignorant people
period,that we generalise as bengs, beng or not.

So yeah. Uh, that's my redeeming post.

The Gist of My Day

Excerpt from friend's email:

it's boring la. this la. that la.
SHOOT ME.

Aja replies:

NO.
SHOOT me.
Please somebody, now.

So damn busy today, haven't even packed.
need to take pic for application
need to pack
meeting here, there
gotta meet mom
gotta do something bout my nails
gotta fill-in-the-blanks
gotta get tip-ex
need to finish articles
need to hang out the clothes sometime between
lunches and meeting
no wait, meetings and lunch
need to wash car before lend aunty
need to remember to bring passport
need to update ipod
need to buy seafood maggi

NEED TO SHOOT ME.

and you say you're bored?
How bout this?
How bout we just SHOOT each other?

need to run.

gotta interview some tan sri
Tan Kok Ping

heard he's difficult.

JUST GREAT!
did it tell you I banged into a pile of bricks this morning?
first I came down to the car late
remembered that I forgot to take my UCC
and office coffee on a crazy day like this?
Na-uh, wouldn't make it dude.
Went back up, came back down
only to realise
that I wore my Pink suede shoes and its
POURING CATS AND DOGS!
Puddles and Suede don't go
NA-UH!

gonnabelategottarun

Take Two

I am sitting on Cornelius.
Ian approaches from behind
"I bet you I can take her bra off in 3 seconds, Gabe" he says

"We've had this conversation before, I don't wear(actually, I am) bras"

I say, throwing my chest back and grabbing my nasi lemaks
with a loud thud.

The men are looking stunned.

Then we continue as though it never happened
we're discussing the making of a special effects video
Ian is explaining my role to me

"Say your super power is to send soundwaves..."

"No" Aaron cuts in, "It's sending miiiiiind bullets, think about killing yaks"

"That's telekinesis, Kyle"

(I am sorry, those unfamiliar with Tenacious D won't get this)

Aaron: Ian, can my power be shooting goats out of my arse?

Ohgodlaughingsohardneedtogohomeandshit

Success!

Delving into the Box of Memories

The rain has got to me.
I am melancholy.

Where were we a year ago?
Do you remember? Something reminded me.

A Moet party, with pink hearts

and now?where are we now?
So much has changed; friends, lives, loves.

I'm delving into my box of memories because
today, as we did what we always do

I thought about you, while I was with you
and what my fondest memory of you is
insignificant to others, beautiful to us

We had lunch, facing each other
Your smile is flashy, bright
luminously fake
underneath lies, lies
I know you think I don't know
yet in a way,
you know that I do know

So I tell you stories,
to fill in the empty spaces left behind
by what you do not tell me

then we do what we always do
you play the piano
I sit, we sing
and when I can stand it no more
I get on my feet and twirl around your living room
You know I will do this, your parents know I will do it
that crazy girl who dances alone in your living room
singing, tapping, spinning around
till I'm dizzy

We don't do it that often
but it's us babes
it is the memory of you that I hold in my palm

Foolish Games, always

A Pointless Sigh-like Rant Type Thing

Time is running out
I am feeling it

everyday I try as best I can
to spend quality time, here and there
yet with work and what not
mealtimes are the only time
yet I need me time
so that I do when I have lunch in solitude
work in between
then dinner, always got something

Freelance stuff to finish, to line-up
Gotta see people
who don't or aren't supposed to really exist
in my world , yet do, floating in the outer realms
in the gray

I feel bad, when I keep saying I'm busy busy
I feel bad, when I tell you to quit last minute planning
and give me a set time instead.

My family and I
are quite odd.

Quite odd indeed.
like my aunts and I are close
and my mother and I are close
but my aunts and my mother
aren't so close.

then there's my dad's side
which is just that
the dad's side

So family alone, makes for 3- 4 separate meetings
then there's friends
some that mix and some that don't
some here and some there.

Like I said, this is pointless.

You People Are Damn Funny

Seriously, those of you who leave comments
thanks for the laughs

The weather had made me melancholy, tearful even
it's grey, dreary
then I come back to this


:D

Ah Sooo Des!

I was reading Constipation 101
and discovered this tasty fact

okay, okay my aunt mentioned it to me first
and I just had to check up

it was a discussion about bowel movement(in some cases lack thereof)
and the various issues that our family have with it
like how we can't shit anywhere but in our own homes
even if
the turtle is peeking it's head out

how some members shit about 5 times a day
and take their coffee in the can with them
but others shit every 3 days

and yet others need to squat
on the toilet bowl
naked
no clothes, na-uh, not even socks
ages range from 4- 40(I think)

Oh the fun factoid!

Bananas constipate you.
Or wait does that sound right to you?

Or should it be
Bananas make you constipate(d)?

Or
Bananas are a constipant.

or
Bananas are laxatives in reverse.

I'm guessing you already got the picture though.

That's your Fact O' the Day

Now I leave you this:
Wise man say, 'He who stands on toilet, is high on pot.'

Crazy Is What Crazy Do

Harro?

There a war in my Comment Box
dear Lisa (Lie-sa), dear Lisa
There's a war in my Comment Box
dear Lisa, a war.

With what should I mend it
dear Lisa, dear Lisa
with what should I mend it
dear Lisa, with what?

Hmm can't think of much to rhyme
cept 'whore' for some reason;

Gutter Pic

 

Promise Me You Won't Lie to Yourself

Is the way I ended a conversation today.

Because that's what worries me most
and it doesn't just apply to you
it does to everyone, myself included.

Too often, we lie to ourselves about how we really feel
put too much faith in
'things will change' and 'it will get better'
'I just need to get used to it'

Yes, hard work; strength, patience, loyalty- pays off
yes, a lot of good things
don't come easy
but there's a difference between
reality and fantasy
and sometimes, we just can't see it

When you are sure, then I am 100% supportive
but when I see you waver, I waver
the nature of a friend

Sometimes I don't know if I should
Hold you up, reassure you when you waver
or tell you to reconsider because
wavering is a bad thing
sometimes I don't know whether to say
what I think
or
say what you want to hear

Yet, the fact of the matter is
in life there are no definate answers
no way of knowing for sure
no way to place yourself in someone else's shoes
unless you've been there yourself

We all feel around blindly
some find firm footing, some keep feeling things out
and some just have the confidence
the ability to appear like they've found firm footing
when in actual fact they haven't

Some will forever wonder if the grass is greener
Some will think 'I've made my bed, I'll make the best of it.'

It all depends on character, a person's ideals, etc
we are all different, yet they same
you may settle for slogging, I may forever be struck with wanderlust
and seek only the colourful paths
the ones interesting to me, not necessarily you.

Maybe you've got it right
it's just a prolonged hard patch that
will eventually lead to a flower filled valley in the sun

Or maybe you've got it wrong, but that isn't necessarily bad
and when you eventually see
you will have a journey,
an experience to learn from, that will build character
adding value to your life as a whole

But it's all you
please don't forget that.
We let expectations of others
and 'face'
drive us down the wrong paths
(or force us to stay there when we realise its a mistake)
too much these days.

And So, Another Weekend Passes

 

 

 

Go Away!

Apparently,
the ability to be silent
be silent, be still, be silent, be still (what movie be that from)
or at least the ability to speak at a lower pitch
doesn't exist in the chinese genetic make up

Oh god. Why won't they just go?
One group goes, and another comes
it's like someone is deliberately playing
a sick joke on me
taunting, teasing

first they get me aggro that they're here
then they leave, peace, relieved
then the next installment comes
frus.

Emotional Rollercoaster, yo!

On my 3rd coffee.

Alexis here is wearing high-heels. To Batu Feringghi.
(I don't know her real name, think Dynasty)
Lexy be a bimbo.

I am being a bitch. And I am chinese.

BTW, Another Thing to Say

Or maybe I'm just stalling
the productivity level is
negative.

Yes, yes
by the way
there's this drink (cocktail)
that Ana introduced me to at Bed
it's electric blue
and it's called Dream.

Dream, is the epitome of false advertising
cos, honey, it sure as hell don't make you dream

na-uh.

Its packed with red-bull like stuff
and gin
I imagine those on uppers (methlenedioxymethamphetamine)
would suck it down like oxygen
but if you be looking for a nightcap
something to help lull you into a deep slumber,

then steer clear
from Dream
if it's near.

Well, Farkadoodles

Just had to be today innit?

A damn beautiful day
and I rush through the usual chores
the cruise up the winding road
John Mayer crooning

All ready to be seriously
ermmm....what the hell is that word?
for like useful, like get all your work and more done and shit?
it won't come to mind
anyway you probably know what I mean..

So yeah I step into Spice Garden
and make my way up to the cafe
and what do I find?

It's been infiltrated, I tell you!
By a bloody pack of chinese ed students
who speaking as though the whole world must
hear them
fuckers.

Totally.do.not.understand.the.concept.of.a.place.like.this.

It's overrun and I haven't even written my review yet!
I'll be sure to slip it in that potential patrons
could do well to respect the peace of other patrons
or risk being slingshot like a wild monkey.


PRODUCTIVE!
that's it!

Anyways, the bastards are damn loud and annoying okay
I'm half tempted to go up and tell them off
for being unappreciative bitches
go to a roadside coffee stall lah mahai!

I mean okayla, not all chinese ed people are so bad
I was just having a convo like that with a lecturer (oooh)
friend the other day
he tells me that he has a brilliant student
who refuses to truly get out there and do his utmost
the student says what holds him back is the fact that he is chinese ed.

So lecturer-man says
"They know, you see, they know what we think and say of them.."

Yeah but if he's so brilliant then why not prove us wrong right?
Why let it hold him back?

*Bastard. My friend just called from the F1. Just to let me listen.
Kanneh. Did I tell you I got offered a free ticket to the Shell box?
Bloody turned it down to be productive*

So yeah, this kid is letting the world's perception
of chinese ed people hold him back
I mean I know, I know it isn't easy
but when is it ever?

People say things about people like me too what.

Every one of us,
suffers other people's beef
Most people have preconceived perceptions about
others, judging before even meeting
and sometimes letting those perceptions
rule the entire relationship

But I say, if you choose to judge, and make no effort
to get to know the real me, then whose loss is it?

Wait.
Weren't we talking about noisy bengs bugging me?

My point is,
not alllllll bengs are that beng
and even if they are beng doesn't mean they're
not a nice person or stupid or bla bla..

It's just that, right now, right here
these bengs are too beng to handle.

It's like a whole new shipment arrived from the beng factory
a new batch every 20 minutes
high beng turnover

Oh god I'm ram-b(l)eng.

Over and out.

Or not.

I believe, I believe that I have the power
to shut the beng infiltration out
I believe I can concentrate on the sea
powder paste green in front of me
darker patches where the clouds throw their shadow

I believe I believe
these chattering aunties suddenly sharing my table
will stop cooing
I believe I believe their moth-ball scent is not
at this moment assaulting my nostrils

I believe I believe
that if I close my eyes
and will it from the very bottom of my heart
I can banish the bengs
and actually do the work
that I came here to do

I really think I've had too much coffee.
I mean I can't like,
stop typing.
and it isn't even anything important!

What happened to productive!

My Mother's Farker

My stepfather-type-person is a comical character indeed
yet laughter,
especially the doubled-over-breathless (not during sex) type
isn't such a hoot when you are cramping like hell.

We are in the lift going up to the blood testing lab
Lift stops, lady comes in
Lift stops, lady gets out, we get out
"No, this isn't your floor" she says
we go back in

We go to lab
we come down
lift door opens
same woman steps in

Stepfather-type-person goes up to her
"Excuse me Miss,are you stalking us?"
Poor lady is shocked "No" says she

"You're sure you're not intelligence?"
___________________________________________

Rewind to 2003

I am in a sexshop somewhere around Leceister Square in London
Stepfather-type-person just happens to be with me
We are in separate aisles

"Jahhhhh, do you think mummy would like the
fluffy pink handcuffs or the nasty leather one?"
He shouts over

People are looking at us weird
(I forget which I pick)

Later on we are looking at vibrators
"Which one?which one?" He asks
"Get the Rabbit, the Rabbit's the best."
(Indeed mine was great, until someone threw it off the balcony)

We walk to the till
the cashier eyes us
"Excuse me sir", he says to stepfather-type-person
"But how are you two related?"

"Oh", he replies
"I am her mother's fucker."
__________________________________________________

2006, We are having dinner one evening
STP, mother and I

He has just been to Central Asia
and is trying to tell me something about Uzbekistan
but he keeps saying Uzkebistan

"Mummy, I think he's a bit dyslexic"

"Yes, Love, I think I am dylestic"
_____________________________

"So, the doctor put you on concetreptives?"
_________________________________

Mom is telling him to wipe the bridge of his nose, he is wiping his chin.
We exchange glances, ignore him.

"So," says mom " I'm feeling really relieved now that our money problems
are pretty much solved."

"Yeah," pipes STP from behind, "We're even having sex three times a day!"
"You should have seen her this afternoon, as I caressed her full bosom
flicking my tongue........."

*Aja claps hands over ears lalalalalala* (eventhough she's driving)
____________________________________________

We are having dinner.
STP is eyening me intently, across the table

"What are you staring at?"

He pretends to slurp up drool, quickly answering "Nothing, darling"
Turns to mom, "She almost caught me fantasising, Love"
*cringe*
____________________________________

An Inquiry

A friend inquired over dinner the other day
"Just how many men do you have interested in you?"

Its possible that I answered give-or-take one or two less than the actual amount.

"Don't they mind that you blog about them?"

"No. Because what I say online, is exactly what I tell them face to face, and anonymous.
The more delicate ones I don't mention at all."

Make no mistake, there is no arrogance here,
if someone develops an interest in me,
and actually tells me, I am pretty quick to tell them that
I am not emotionally available.
I am also genuine when I say I truly appreciate the interest.

I don't like complications and messes
I like things clean cut, explain my stance from the start.

More often than not, the other side will say 'lets just be friends'
and somehow forget that
and somehow 'develop feelings'
then it gets bloody complicated
and Aja runs.

Sure, I'll enjoy company offered,
but at the end of the day, the heart doesn't lie
and you can't lie to it
My heart knows where it wants to be
It knows that timing is not right
and it knows that someday it will fade
or happen

But not right now,
and if you can't have exactly what you want
(or think you want) right now, then why settle for less?

But who knows?This could change tomorrow.

To Me

He turns and says, "What is life without your lips?"
I could just melt away and die,


but I don't.

Pears

I hate grainy chinese pears
as opposed to ripe, velvety bursting with juice, angmoh ones

But wise man, he say: She who gets free fruit baskets
(Vr. 2 just arrived) should be grateful and shut-the-fuck-up.

and while we're on the food subject,

there are few things more wonderful than
fresh goat's milk cheese with
South African ginger pickled in honey.

I think I need to cook
I think i need to bake some bread.

A Rant, Sil Vous Plait

Furiousity kills me.

There are 2 types of people in this world
those that go out and get
and those that sit and wait
No prizes guessing which reap more benefits

It has recently struck me that not just I
but women in general
prefer a man who takes the iniative
one with confidence
character
and spine

I cannot stomach spineless twits.

I mean seriously,
you want to do, do lah
whats the point of dilly dallying
waiting for the whole world to approve?

You want to say
say it straight to my face
because I can't stand all this cryptic beat-around-the-bush-bullshit
it's utter nonsense.

Yes, I can be the nice friend and tell you
that you're not behaving like a total loser
just to comfort you when you are
in all absolute-ment being a total loser
I'm not so brutal as to tell you what you can't handle
(though at the right time of the month I just might)
In doing so though, I lose respect, interest

You can't expect people to treat you like a man
if you don't act like one
You can't expect others to have faith in you
when you don't have faith in yourself
You can't expect others to look up at you
when you can't stand upright on your own
You can't expect acheive anything
if you just expect and don't bother to lift a finger
And you will never never never get anywhere at all
claiming the world is against you

Reality, my friend.

Observe, understand, come-to-terms and practise.