A Good Day

YM and I woke up early
setting off to his half-sister's house
where his 2 nieces & nephew (plus a friend\s baby) awaited

I found myself in the pool
tossing 3-year old Garraint to Ben

Doing (water)handstands with 11 year old Hannah

Picking blackberries with 9 year old Sarah

and bouncing 8 month old Katie on my hip

then we came home, completely wrecked
watched a movie while Dadman cooked
a dinner of Mediterranean sausages, polenta
(I made salad and drank wine)
then wrote a piece about my grandmothers.

So, kids, good food, wine and writing
velly good day indeed.

Tomorrow in conjuction with Merdeka
I will introduce them to Malaysian Chicken Curry
I can't wait!

Johnson & Lulu

Somedays, I am in the middle of something
when suddenly an overwhelming feeling of loss
floods my heart

Johnson & Lulu.

Where are you? My heart aches and I want to cry
but I know that they are too adorable,
too beautiful, too sweet and manja
for anyone to be mean to them.

And I pray to god that they've found a good home.

What Is Work?

Once in awhile, Bantum calls
he asks for an update of my life
to which I readily supply
and always, always, he says
"Are you really working or what? Sounds like you're on
one long holiday. I am so jealous."

I try, half-heartedly to argue, but how can I
when I really do feel as though it is?

Kids make me happy, cooking makes me happy
cleaning calms me down
and those are the so-called 'chores' in my job
but can I help it if I enjoy them?

Sure sometimes there's a stroppy teenager to deal with
or a mass of cat dump on the floor
but really, the good outweighs the bad, by far.

Or maybe, maybe I am just overly positive
as everyone keeps telling me.

In an email today, Chun said that
I am in my element, something about
glowing with life and radiating happiness.

Last week Bee said the same thing about the picture
of me, in Vanessa's lap.

The other day, Dadman said that he
gets the impression from me,
that Malaysians are generally a laid-back, happy-go-lucky culture
So I asked Bantum, "Is that how we are?"
His reply was,
"No its just you, you're like a cheerleader without the pom-poms"

I watched You, Me & Dupree yesterday
and listened to all of Dupree's shit about the
call of the mothership, and then it struck me,
all those nights I lay awake, wondering
what the hell I am doing with my life
wondering is its enough,
wondering if I am ever going to be more

But maybe this is my calling to the mothership
to be positive, when others aren't
to show that life can be lived to the utmost
easy on the stress, big on those heart-warming experiences.

When I was much younger, I wanted to be rich
buy all the clothes, houses and holidays I wanted, whenever

But then as I grew older
I thought 'You know what?'
I don't need to be rich at all.

All I want is to touch others, each and every day
I want to be able to travel, cook and love
I have 3 goals

(1)A shelter for underpriviledged children
(2)A restaurant cum bar
(3)A happy family and a bunch of friends to stick with through
thick and thin.

Tipsy

Monday, bank holiday, 3pm and 4 (or is it 5) glasses of wine

We've had guests over, 9 of us all together
salad and Paella, tarte au citron with vanilla ice cream
and tarte of chocolat with peppermint ice-cream

I had 2 helpings of each, telling myself I'd go for a long walk this eve
but now I just want to have a warm bath
and while the day away in bed really
I can hear my heart racing in my head

Today is Bantum's(J3) birthday! And I feel horrible that Bantum had to call me
on his day but its bank holiday and I couldn't get
to the post office to buy a calling card!

Yesterday we went down to Cardiff Bay for the festival
its was glorious, free jazz concerts and tons of
little stalls selling french produce
(cheese, olives, pastries) irish chocolate, fudge
german bratwurst, middle eastern nuts
Took pictures of course but can't blog them

We came home after and I took a container into the back lane,
picking ripe blackberries off the brambles
they are mean, the thorns are
but isn't it just so quaint to pick berries in one's backyard?

It is a skill though, you have to be so delicate as to not bruise them
of course part of the fun is cramming the ripe ones
that you weren't gentle enough with into your mouth

I finished, my container full, fingers dyed red
"Lovely" NMTP exclaimed as I bounded into the kitchen
and we have blackberries with meringue
and cream fraiche for pudding that night.

I am mighty excited about my trip home in a month
my schedule is already crazy
Pangkor laut for the first 5 days (a wedding)
then 1 night in Penang, then 1 in KL
then 4 in Penang, then 2 in KL
then the last 3(2 of which are another wedding) in Penang.

Golly.

All planned out already. Seriously, I am so anal in the planning
I sometimes scare myself

On my headstone I suspect it will read
" Here lies Aja Ng, adoring wife,
loving mother, dedicated planner"

Cacat to the max.

One To Make Your Day By

I was going through my gazillion pics
and here's one of the BBB
it always makes me smile like a bitch
its impossible to not love, or miss this kid

 

-INXS

Did you know that narcissism (in moderation)
is a necessary component for a healthy psyche?

Gimme a break lah,
I have no more touristy pics to blog
and after tonight I will not be able to picture post!

 

Explanation NOT Needed

I like this picture
shows you who I am
what I am doing, and where I am

 

Beatled Out

Liverpool's Anglican Cathedral is the
largest in the world
and one of the breat guildings of the
20th century (=

Old meets new, east meets west
call it what you want
also that arch is supposedly the
largest chinese arch outside china


The famous Radio City Tower


I am all Beatled out.

Unfortunately I am not very typeative today
(as opposed to talkative)
Got sorethroat and a spot of diarrhea if you insist on knowing
bloody mexican food

So my last day in Liverpool
(tomorrow we will be on set all day)
and I left the YM at home and went a-walking
took pics of the cathedral and church
very nice, probably very old too :P

Tomorrow evening, we go back to Cardiff
and that will be the end of photos
on my blog (for awhile at least)

Sucks.

Liverpool:Tate Gallery Cafe

Ahhh finally had my cream tea
Twas rather good, if you fancy one in M'sia
give the Cameron Highlands Resort a shot
very good, value for money

I'm really lovin Liverpool
Its such a beautiful city, poised to take centrestage
as Europe's Capital of Culture 2008
with architectural delights at every turn,
the waterfront being a world heritage site
plus all the Beatles blah
its hard not to like.

Oh, guest who's going to be an extra
in Hollyoaks this friday?

Its like the UK's The OC okay?

 

London Mali: Aja Vanessa Mayleen Peter

"Babe can you meet me at the Northfields station?"

"Huh?Where?"

"North as in north babe, like south,"

"Okay as in North-South-East-West, the field as in
P-H-I-L issit?"

"Your head la babe! Field as in Padang!Its not
all about men dammit!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(after a sad goodbye with MTP and an even sadder one with
BBB the day before, hurried packing and sending off of clothing
books and etc to M'sia, last minute dropping off stuff at my aunt's
and then going home and realising I forgot my watch and having to go
back to hers again..)

And so, I arrive in London
staring in dismay at a flight of stairs and my
2 leaden suitcases, they don't push nor pull
properly and I am surviving on 4 hrs sleep

Suddenly a tall, lanky lad appears
"Would you like a hand with that?"
I fall to the floor and kiss his feet.

Somehow I manage to get into the Tube unassisted
and out, at Northfields
I step out, lug, look around
No Vanessa.

"Oh my god babes!" I turn, and there she is
"Oh my god babes!" I shriek in return
We look at my bags
"Oh. My. God." we say together

and together we lug, up stairs, on street
up bus, off bus, and the last
200 metres of pushing, pulling, carrying and kicking (in 15 mins)
finally up the stairs to Mayleen's apartment
We sit.

"Babe, kau liao, wa ai tui chu."

It is 10am, we haven't seen each other in 1 and a half mths
I am catching my breath, exhausted
"Babe, when are you going to make coffee?"
she asks
I widen my eyes, speechless at the audacity
"I carried your bags for you worrr..
and besides yours always tastes better"

Flattery gets people everywhere apparently
I make the coffee, then off we go
out and about in London-town.

I always insist, Covent Garden first
a pub, some grub
beer for her, wine for me
close your eyes and just don't think about
the price

I also insist on Ben & Jerrys at Leceister Square
my 2 favourite flavours
Cherry Garcia and Oh My Apple Pie

We, or rather I, lie in the park
my head in her lap
observing disease laden pigeons
and talking about strange things
while other people eavesdrop

(This one is for uncle Rod)

Later we make our way to White City
Meet my wonderful cousin, a bottle of rose at the BBC bar
then off to Farringdon for Karim Fanous's gig

But not before a cocktail at another bar
champagne and strawberries I believe


The night ends with us singing
'Rundon Blidge is Farring Down'
all the way back in the Tube (20 mins)
at the tops of our voices

We hop into a cab
where I apologise profusely to the driver for their
drunken singing, then join in
I vaguely remember asking him about
The Knowledge
"Yes, how is your Knowledge kind sir?"

We stumble in
"Shhhh Mayleen whispers, Andy is asleep"
Then we all start to giggle.

"Babe, don't pretend to be drunk all and
then not cook my Maggi Mee ah!"
Vanessa warns

"What?Instant noodles?" says Mayleen, nose wrinkling

"You haven't tried your cousin's" says Vanessa

and this is how I find myself in the kitchen
2am, chopping garlic and onions
slicing cabbage and frying up sausages,
cracking eggs into boiling soup

while the girls flutter about bringing this and that
and Mayleen shakes her head
repeating 'I can't believe she's here, cooking in my kitchen'

Later we sit and eat
Mayleen tells me it's mighty tasty
and Vanessa is not talking, just walloping
we pile empty bowls into the sink
and creep into bed

Later, Andy will tell me that
Mayleen came to bed whispering
"I can't believe how good it was!"

London Day 2

We awaken early (but not early enough to keep lunch plans)
intending to do all
sorts of touristy London things
"The Tate and the V & A" I say
"Lie in park and read book" Vans says

An unsatisfactory asian lunch in Bayswater
is followed by an unsatisfactory walk in Kensington Gdns
the grass is not green, and frankly, after
Copenhagen, I am not impressed

We swing by the palace, and I take the obligatory picture

The Trafalgar, and on to Picadilly Circus
where we decided to play
"Vhere's Vanessa" at the Shaftesbury Memorial Fountain

On to Chinatown again
(In my almost 5 days in London, I will only
eat english food once, all my other meals
are asian)

Then somehow, back in Covent Garden
where we settle at the bohemian Neal Street Cafe,
just off the Seven Dials

Vans reads and I'm bored so
I tell her I am going to the loo and wander off

Its is then, that I find this temple of cheese
thousands! goatscheese, cow and ewe
washed rind and unwashed; soft, hard and blue
all there for the tasting,taking
with an array of accompaniments
baguettes and Poilane bread!
Poilane bread I tell you!

In my head I see dinner:
A loaf, a few hunks of cheese, a bottle of wine

I glided through the shop, tasting, touching
gently caressing
before I knew it 25 mins had passed since
I told Vanessa I was going to the loo

I held up my hand,
halting the gentle curve of the attendant's cheese knife
a whispered promise "I'll be back soon."

I drag Vanessa in
Oblivious to her disinterest at my enthusiam
she no likee cheesie

the attendant's and my joint cajoling
does not change her palate
15 minutes later, she is ho-ing and hum-ming
so I hurriedly purchase a wedge of hard and a wedge of soft goat's
and half a poilane loaf, we are off.

We amble back up to Soho
down Oxford St and Carnaby St
discovering this exhibition much too late
oh well

Finally, we head off to the Embankment
to meet our missed lunch date for drinks
and that, is where it all starts

London: Evening 2 (Allergic to Tequila)

Vanessa says that it was the first time I said ‘no’ to dancing
I was that drunk
Who mother-fucking drinks tequila shots anyway?
It’s so yesterday.

First, we met friends in Gordon’s Wine Bar a cavey, cellery, dungeony
mess of underground stone rooms built in 1890
Ho-nice-er.

There, after a bottle of wine each,
we were well on our way to shit-faced

Throughout uproarious conversation between us 4 girls,
I notice the guy at the next table massively eavesdropping.

‘Babe, ask him whether he enjoyed our conversation’ I nudge
Vanessa goes.
Us three look on, mouths covered.

Faced with the idea of sushi or Opium (club, not drug)
we foolishly chose not to line our stomachs and
flirted our way into the club (No need to pay 5 pounds pp)

(Oh he said he loved the conversation,
but didn’t understand some words-italiano)

Then, we had a tequila shot.
I may have visited the ladies 5 times, retching

‘No, babes, I don’t care if it’s Beyonce, I’m not dancing’.

We somehow got to the tube station.
Somehow I am still clutching my plastic bag
of Poilane bread, 2 cheeses and a punnet of strawberries.
I thrust the bag at her.
‘Babe, take it’.

She takes it.
‘Babe, take it.’
‘I have it, babe.’
‘No babe, take it all out, I need the bag’.

Everything is in slow motion.I’m having trouble keeping it down.

I’m trying my hardest to keep awake
but it’s not happening.
‘Babe,’ Vans shakes me.
‘If you move 2 seats ahead you can lie down.'
I look to my left, look back at her and say,
completely meaning it, ‘Its too far babe.’
Then I fall asleep.

She shakes me awake.
We’re the last ones in the tube, last stop.
We get out.
‘Babe, I need to sit’ I say as soon as we stand

I try and throw up again, dry heaving.
We stumble into a black cab.
She’s telling me about how I always take care of her,
she’s the one who normally gets drunk, how she’s drunk now
but she’ll take care of me

How she’s never seen me drunk-drunk ever.

We get home. She undresses me.
Gets me water, takes my make-up off
she is clomp-clomping around
my head is going dup-dup, dup-dup

Mayleen comes in tells us shhhh
ruffling my hair (possibly) and calling me a drunkard
Someone is telling me to take my tights off,
but I pull the blanket over my head and block everyone out.
Blasted tequila.

More Days in London-town

I am up at 7.
By 9, I creep into the kitchen, wrapped in my cashmere scarf
Make myself tomyam maggi mee,
something I always need after a drunken night.

Always spicy soup to cut through toxic alcohol first,
then after that coffee, then throughout the day fortifying food,
yoghurt, fruit, huge platters of meat, veg, rice.
Food to make me grow big and strong.
Like Milo.

Its asthough the alcohol weakens me,
tarnishing my insides and I have to eat to cleanse.
I eat.

Vanessa wakes, I make her maggi mee.
Then we laugh and laugh at last night’s antics.
‘Babe?Where’s my poilane bread?'
I find my precious cheese, the bread is nowhere to be found.

She starts laughing.

I handed her the plastic bag last night,
ordered her to empty it so I could puke,
She needed to puke too then,
and took my precious bread out of its plastic bag,
and wrapped it in her scarf.

I find it battered, bruised strawberry juices dyeing it red some places.
We sit at the kitchen table, I make coffee.
And while Vanessa draws, I write.

Later, I say goodbye to her at the train station
then go off to meet Peter

What do you get when you have
3 scotsmen who haven't seen each other for months
meet up in a pub?
You get a magazine, cos you can't understand
a word they're speaking.


We have a good time, Pete's and I
then I am off to a stupendous chinese dinner
at my aunt's, with my other cousin and her husband

The next night, I accompany Mayleen to a friend's wedding
(the bride is off her face)
then meet Heiko for a bit (german guy, you girls remember him?)

this is what I love, meeting up with people
you met in a completely different country
had no plan to ever meet up elsewhere
but somehow planets align and things fall into place

We go back home, and then fueled by my darling
cousin's praise for my maggi mee,
she and I cooked for this lot.

3 am. Pack a bit, bundle up in duvet
Sleep, wake, pack somemore, panic
new family, new life, all so quick
Cardiff, Wales.

Kulturhavn: CPH Last Sunday

I am trying to get a shot of the Kulturhavn poster
but change my mind
"Whats wrong?" asks Taregh
"The background isn't nice" I complain

So he goes and stands behind the poster
Poser.

Each summer hundreds of free concerts,
exhibits, festivals etc crop up all over
Denmark

did I say free? you can plan your weekends to them

Kulturhavn sports all sorts of dances,
concerts and exhibits from different cultures


This is the motown jazz band


This is what people do when the sun is out
sunbathe/BBQ/Sleep/read/ in parks
(or any random patch of grass)

No, I am not doing drugs
Double apricot I believe, hookah
thought it would be fun to dress thhe part (;

And then I said goodbye to Marie
and the boys, I hate goodbyes
But I'm really glad I met such great
individuals, who took care of me
and didn't steal my car
or sell me.

Denmark: Girls Last Night Out

I circle hard and pull into the parking space,
jerking to a stop
"Sorry," I say to Marie
"Its alright, go right ahead and make me nauseaus," she shoots

And I love it, love the bitchiness.
We've known each other 2 weeks.

The BBQ pit is the size of a picnic table,
racks of ribs are being caramelised
succulent tiger prawns turn deep orange
whole fish in foil, juicy steaks running red

In my head I already know this is where we will eat
and later I expertly maneuver
my aunt, BF, Sean & Marie there

Everything is served with a hugelicious green salad
aioli and baked potato

My rack of porkribs contain at least a dozen
when there are 5 left, I look up
My puppy dog eyes don't work on
Marie, aunt or Per

No, no tapau.

I am interrupted by a few phonecalls
as I am on the phone I can read Marie's
gestures, its the first time she is meeting them
and she is moving her face this way and that
hand in front of her as if holding a camera
miming me

bitch.

When I left, Sean showed a rare moment
of emotion. Leaning out of the window
as I walked into the street
"I'll miss you Aja! Goodbye!"

"I'll miss you too Sean, I'll see you soon."

"How many days more Aja?"

Actually, now, its more like 30 days

Its is the Dragor Music Fest
Tonight's concerts are throwbacks
to Wham! and ABBA

Free concerts, sea-breeze and dancing by the sea
kinda makes one want to stay.

Look! cute beer holding thingies!

Marie and I drive back to my aunt's
I have the place to myself tonight
we get changed and ready to go out
we share make up like we've known
each other 10 yrs


The sultry voice of the jazz vocalist fills the room
I stand transfixed, wishing I had discovered this earlier
the bar/lounge/club had warm, woodsy hues
charming, classy
I sip my vodka lime.


Marie is speaking in Danish to some guy
I should be feeling lonely, maybe offended
but sipping my Caipiroska at the bar
I am lost in a world of my own

Men come up to talk, some ask to dance
and I make polite conversation or decline
but I am clearly not 'there'
and I know this, know that I am not
being particularly warm or friendly
but not hostile either, just uninterested
I do nothing about it, simply stand there analysing it
marvelling at how I could be in the centre of a packed club
yet be so totally removed from it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Marie, do you mind if I take my shoes off?"
I say as I take them off
"Yeah go ahead, as though I am not already used
to you taking your shoes off everywhere!"
(you try walking in heels on cobbles!)
I'd rather brave the broken glass.

Danes are lying on the sidewalks
they never get violent when drunk
they sing and dance
or lie on the gound and sleep,
still clutching bottles.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first night out with her
a guy came up to me, lifted an eyebrow
and said "How you doing?" ala Joey Tribiani

Today as we leave the club, we pass
a bunch of danish hunks
one looks my way
"How you doing?" he slurs
I burst into hysterical laughter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I tell Marie that I need to try a Copenhagen 'Pol-ser'
"Huh? Are you trying to say 'Phul-sher'? (or something)
she says, nose wrinkling
"I don't eat that shit"

"But I have to its an authentic CPH experience!"
We find a stall, I have one and am in love.
Marie and I part ways,
I sneak off to buy another hot-dog,
when I let myself into the apartment, its 4.30am

The night is young, people here party til 6
I roll into the duvet
the sun is coming up.