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I was walking (or shall we say bouncing, almost skipping) to work today
brimming with this crazy, crazy happiness that has engulfed me
its mad, psychotic even
then...I saw a dead kitten at the side of the road, eyes open still!
moment of sadness
but then the happiness sprung back!
Mad I tell you. Okay gotta go and meet the man himself
king o'shoes.

Reminding Me of GB

Stepping out of home today, they sky was ominous, low;
perfect day for cuddling in bed, or wallowing in a broken heart
or eating a huge motherfucker of a bowl of beef noodles
as I told someone

Arriving in the office, I announced "Did you see the weather out?"
"Its dark and damp and dreary!Just makes me want to go out and play!"
to this I jumped up and down,
then turned my heel and skipped from my colleague's office.

Outside, the trainees have collapsed in a fit of giggles.

What am I, a freak show?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
huge, big argument with someone online
reduces me to tears
we make up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blue and I meet for lunch
I take him somewhere new, he commends me on my find
throughout lunch, he chatters, incessant, giving me ten different
microshades of the same subject
I subtly raise my eyebrow, half listening
"What, am I rambling?"

and later as we link arms and fall into step
he says one thing, and I will not listen, then 5 mins later
echo the thought, and he'll say 'But I just said that'
and I'll say "You did?"
put on repeat

We talk, we walk, there is no hesitation about crossing roads
its automatic that we are, so we just scurry, no checking with each other
at the door, we unlink, not stopping, separating
"Have a nice day!" I say as we both disappear out of peripheral visions.

And then I came home to poo.
I did it!

Good Morning World!

This morning my alarm buzzed, 8.10am
I leapt out of bed, looked down at my sleeping self
and shouted
"Yoo-hoo you! Time to wakey wakey!"

Wakey wakey time indeed. Thursday is it?
So says the computer.

Didja know that a simple 'I love you' goes
a long long way? Long long long.
enduring the cloak of midnight then seems a slight bit easier

And I did, fell into this warm hazy sleep
one where I woke up at 5 and thought to myself
'oh, I've been dreaming of him all night'
but, you know, I am not sure if I did
a thought out of habit but not fact.

Le weekend is within reach and the presence of people
that love me and that I love is making me
SO excited.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CH is the new coordinator in our office
and god knows, we've needed one

Besides the coordinator, we have an ever-changing flow
of trainees (sometimes called slaves)
One could say it's hard to keep up with their names

So there I was, standing in front of CH the other day
giving her direction
and as I turned my back when I was done, I heard a whisper of
little voice
"But my name is CH, not YS"

:O

I apologised of course, but now I never hear the end of it
ask her to do something and the retort is
'Do you know my name?'
the polite version of 'What's my name bitch?'

Sometime when the pace heightens I will yell for her
four cubicles over
"CH!CH! Minute please!Quick!"

She will rush over just as I find what I was looking for
"OH, um nevermind dee"

Flushed from the rushing "Fun is it? Is this fun?You find this fun issit?"

'Hmm, yes, fun , fun'.

:D

OK shit I am late.
And I didn't eve n take a crap :(
Gotta go to work!

Ghost Town- The Specials
Have you heard it?
Makes me think I am a wend-y snake in the shower

Oh! She Blogs.

Oooh yes, I am attempting at least. But heck, its been so long
it seems weird.

So, whaddya need to know? Social life has picked up, somewhat largely

Pain and confusion, no less, but no longer dwelling I guess

Lest my ex-ex whoops my arse and bellows down the phone at me
and tells me I am 'a pathetic wreck of a girl that was once so much
more than this, that he and _____ wanted to spend their lives with'

*sheepish smile

my relationship with my ex has become so convoluted and cruel
that even the highs that once made it all worth it, exist no longer
I could never go cold turkey so we continued to talk
(for my benefit, his generosity in helping me get better..yeah)

Thus lines, got blurred and again we found the guy who'd look me in
the eye and whisper sweet nothings, but a split second later be chasing
another skirt

Its not the flirting I mind, I do it too; Its the fact that you can't trust some people
to draw the line just there. Especially not when lying is their nature and they are
proud of it.

ah well, hand someone a gun and you get shot.again and again and again.
especially lethal in those that take pleasure in your pain.

And I'll admit, I would have spoken to him still, except he said he'd rather
speak to a girl he might have a 'slight attraction to' and only met a week ago,
than me.Bummer. Ah the sweet blossoming of new love (= !

When I think about it though, it's my fault, my stupidity and blindness
Best I woke up and smelled the roses around me
Best I woke up and saw the possibilities
Best I shrugged off the quicksand that drags me down

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Moving alone then =D
Life is good, work is a fast-paced consuming bitch, but just what I need
after-work hours a so much of a whirl that one must pencil in rest days
holidays coming up, quarter century coming up,
love, companionship, mutual affection, respect and trust coming up
the only thing bugging me is having to find a place to stay come end Sept
and the fact that there are too little hours in the day
and the fact that I miss travelling and my first instinct in a situation like
this is to throw caution in the wind and get out there.

But no, grown -ups have responsibilities, to stick to their word,
stand by their commitments etc etc

Thus one must be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The outcome of recent discussions and experiences for me is that
the perfect man to appeal physically and intellectually to me must:
be a breed of Caucasian-Asian, or Asian with a larger-than-normal Asian physique,
having lived some length of time in the west and acquired a worldliness
and certain libertine qualities, some sophistication, and a healthy sense of humour

or if half-Caucasian he must have grown up with core asian values instilled
respect for elders, relationships and people, selflessness, sense of duty
and the courage to standby one's word yet still have the other qualities listed above.

Or something.

But hey! when does it ever turn out the way you think?
And when is love ever rational?
The above statement being my comeback when people remark on
what a fool I've been for the past 2 years.

Over and out.