Oh! She Blogs.

Oooh yes, I am attempting at least. But heck, its been so long
it seems weird.

So, whaddya need to know? Social life has picked up, somewhat largely

Pain and confusion, no less, but no longer dwelling I guess

Lest my ex-ex whoops my arse and bellows down the phone at me
and tells me I am 'a pathetic wreck of a girl that was once so much
more than this, that he and _____ wanted to spend their lives with'

*sheepish smile

my relationship with my ex has become so convoluted and cruel
that even the highs that once made it all worth it, exist no longer
I could never go cold turkey so we continued to talk
(for my benefit, his generosity in helping me get better..yeah)

Thus lines, got blurred and again we found the guy who'd look me in
the eye and whisper sweet nothings, but a split second later be chasing
another skirt

Its not the flirting I mind, I do it too; Its the fact that you can't trust some people
to draw the line just there. Especially not when lying is their nature and they are
proud of it.

ah well, hand someone a gun and you get shot.again and again and again.
especially lethal in those that take pleasure in your pain.

And I'll admit, I would have spoken to him still, except he said he'd rather
speak to a girl he might have a 'slight attraction to' and only met a week ago,
than me.Bummer. Ah the sweet blossoming of new love (= !

When I think about it though, it's my fault, my stupidity and blindness
Best I woke up and smelled the roses around me
Best I woke up and saw the possibilities
Best I shrugged off the quicksand that drags me down

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Moving alone then =D
Life is good, work is a fast-paced consuming bitch, but just what I need
after-work hours a so much of a whirl that one must pencil in rest days
holidays coming up, quarter century coming up,
love, companionship, mutual affection, respect and trust coming up
the only thing bugging me is having to find a place to stay come end Sept
and the fact that there are too little hours in the day
and the fact that I miss travelling and my first instinct in a situation like
this is to throw caution in the wind and get out there.

But no, grown -ups have responsibilities, to stick to their word,
stand by their commitments etc etc

Thus one must be.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The outcome of recent discussions and experiences for me is that
the perfect man to appeal physically and intellectually to me must:
be a breed of Caucasian-Asian, or Asian with a larger-than-normal Asian physique,
having lived some length of time in the west and acquired a worldliness
and certain libertine qualities, some sophistication, and a healthy sense of humour

or if half-Caucasian he must have grown up with core asian values instilled
respect for elders, relationships and people, selflessness, sense of duty
and the courage to standby one's word yet still have the other qualities listed above.

Or something.

But hey! when does it ever turn out the way you think?
And when is love ever rational?
The above statement being my comeback when people remark on
what a fool I've been for the past 2 years.

Over and out.