The other day,
poor lil sick me was accompanying
The Ex
on some chore-doing.
So there he was bragging about
how many kilometres he'd taken the car while the
"Empty" light was showing
and
how many times the car had completely run out of fuel
and had stalled and he had the nasib baik
to be near a petrol station
and just glided it in.
Naturally, soon after that
the car sputtered to a stop.
Seriously,
it was like an old man with bronchitis
taking his last cough-y breaths.
Now, some people have a natural knack for,
(or ability to co-exist in harmony with)
all motor vehicles.
My Ex,
isn't one of those people.
Because I spent 3 years with
Mc Guyver wannabe here
I'm used to this.
so rather than do some girly thing like panic,
I head to the coffee shop for some
sui kow.
Of course, because our friend here,
is ang moh
people are staring.
"Go, ask someone to buy us petrol" he says
"Hah, fat chance" says I
promptly sitting down.
This is when Mr. Joseph passes by and texts me:
"What are you doing down-town
posing for all the lau ciau in the kopitiam?"
I tell him that our car ran out of fuel,
and he offers to help.
But someone else had already offered to help.
Soon some guy putters up on his kapchai
fills the car with some fuel
and Lo and Behold'
Cannot Start.
I go and sit down again.
Not enough fuel.
This also, has happened before.
[I know this post is getting long, (so you might want to stop reading now, cos it'll get longer)
but this is so ridiculous that I have to recount every single time
I have had motor vehicle problem
with said person.]
______________________
(1)
The first time was 4 years back, when we just started to like-like each other.
( or rather, I say he liked me, he says I'm the one that was gatal. NOT!)
I was in KL
and he was damn kancheong to see me
so he rode his 1100cc bike down
just to fetch me back to Penang.
We left KL at 12 something
then just before Tapah
the bike ran out of fuel
the road was long and lonesome
can you imagine?
Its like 2 in the morning
deserted , misty highway.
The excuse was,
because got passenger,
he misjudged how long the tank could go
But you know lah me
quasi-hippie-biker-prissy-bitch-backpacker-type chic
no panic.
I sat on the shoulder (of the highway)
and we waited patiently for a PLUS person
Nada.
In the end
he pushed the bike (damn heavy okay)
all the way to the toll booth
then someone went to get petrol.
When it came
put into the bike
cannot start
had to do some stupid
jump start shit
and when we finally set off
it was about 5.
Thats not all
The E light started showing again
we slowly put put puttered to the next station
(thank god there was one not too far away)
*BREAKING NEWS* BREAKING NEWS* BREAKING NEWS*
Peter has just called from the middle of the Scottish Highlands somewhere, it's 6 am in the morning there and he is off
his face.
It was obviously not smart of him to call from the highlands
cos the line was breaking and he kept warbling like a turkey
and accusing ME of pretending to not be able to hear him!
*snap..pop**crackle warble**hoot*Hoot*Pssxzttt....
No.More.Peter.
Maybe he fell into some abyss
or maybe the line just died.
************************************************
So then, we finally arrive in Penang,
as the sun rises.
______________________
(2)
Not so many moons later,
we are on said bike [see:(1)]
This time
we have made it safely from Penang to KL.
after a brief rest we set off for Singapore
its 3 in the afternoon when the
the back tire goes flat
somewhere in between KL and Malacca
It just has to be pouring cats and dogs.
and had to be at a rest stop
where there was no food
and most of the phones had been vandalised
even so I had minimal coins
and there was no network coverage.
I found some numbers for mechanics
and throughout the day
many of the small-town ones came over
but shook their heads dejectedly
when they saw the bike
They don't know how to do
cannot handle
too big
all that jazz
I remember so clearly
It was puasa month
a malay family had stopped to buka puasa
and offered me food somemore
then one of them
said he would call some mechanics for us when
they got back on the road
and there was coverage.
Touched.
Finally, at about 9
this scrawny malay fella
came on his little bike
and scrutinized,
squinching up his brow
He'll go and borrow his friend's
pick-up
come back and take us and the bike to Malacca
and find away to fix it there.
When he came back it was 1 hour later.
It took about 7 men to lift the
bike onto the back of the greasy pick-up
Then my ex,
protective over his 'baby'
jumped up the back like a real Hero
to make sure it was secured tightly
you know la
incase we sitting in front
then suddenly
BOOM!
no more superbike at the back.
To cut a long story short,
This wonderful guy,
Din was his name
(he called his wife, said he'll be home late,
somemore never buka puasa yet and its like
11 okay?)
he dropped us at the toll plaza
where we phone our regular
mechanic in Penang
and they communicated
in BM
and I translated a bit from Hokkien
until Din could finally unscrew
the wheel from the back.
lent us his kapchai so we could go
and ride around and get food
Then took the wheel to town
where he woke up the people who owned a car shop
and they patched this stupid tubeless
tire
from the inside
We finished eating
and went back to guard the one wheeless bike
I slept on the side of the road
by the time it was done
3 am (12 hours from KaaPow!)
we gave him almost all the cash we had
thanked him graciously
he invited us over for Raya
and by the time we reached the end of the 2nd Link
it was sunrise again.
-and those are only the bike stories-
