Of Pampered Pooches and Panic-ness

I know 1 person capable of completely understanding

my superdooperexcitedness

In re-discovering Kraft Ranch Dressing

My Ex.

(hey actually wait...my other ex would understand/share it too..)

So I call him.

"What are you doing tonight?"

I ask in my bossy tone (ahh..just like old days)

He is immediately defensive.

A curt, "Why?"

( "like it's any of your business" goes unsaid)

"Er, I got Kraft Ranch Dressing...Cabbage Rolls?"

(oh yes, somewhere inside me,

resides a traditional Polish woman)

His reply is an emphatic

" Like ..YyyyyyeahhHHHHHhhhh...!!!"

So I trust him with the grocery list.

(yes, the man I once told to come home with

" any GREEN vegetable", and came back with a head of Cauliflower)

By 7 pm,

I've walked my gorgeous dog up the hill

and am cooling off in the kitchen

of his

spanking new home

with a glass of shiraz.

As I chop, saute and simmer

we talk, catch-up

My ex sits on the counter swinging his legs

I start telling him a *horror*

Dog-napping story

tales about fully-grown Great Danes being nabbed

my uncle's dog got stolen

and he spent weeks

looking for it,

returning absolutely heartbroken

that would be our worse night-mare.

We've run out of something

so I ask him to go to the store.

"Lulu!!!" he screams, frantic

(we could never get rid of the old nicknames)

"The gate's open!"

OMFG!!

Johnson.

I don't even bother to wash my garlicky hands

"What if someone took him, what if he gets runover?"

We take a car each

and drive off crazy-eyed and panicky

hearts in our throats

I'm careening down the narrow street

*widened* eyes sweeping left and right

There at the end of the street

a familiar tail is a-wagging

a creamy coat and a smiley face

a-flashing

happily going on his merry way

not a single care in the world

Johnson.

I come to halt behind him

throw open the passenger side door

he needs no summon

just jumps right in

and off we go

If you have a car,

with Johnson, its always an advantage

even if its stationary

and you leave the door open,

he'll jump in

and sit

all by his lonesome

for hours at end

A beautiful dog

in

a still car

waiting for someone

to take him

somewhere

anywhere

*Might have forgotten to mention at the start..WARNING! Long Post*