I really don't know how many people told me to
"make sure you Bang-a-cock in Bangkok"
but lets just get that off the table now.
I didn't.
Oooh..just to get the ball rolling on being annoying..
I started whining as soon as we stepped outside Don Muang,
into what they call air.
"Is it going to be as smelly and polluted as this the whole time we're here?"
nose crinkled in disgust.
First up, Language Barrier.
Stepping up to the Taxi Counter
I said "Travelodge, Soi 10"
The girl at the counter tells me I am wrong and that it is on Soi 8.
Me being the tourist and her the person-at-the-information-counter,
I listened.
Half an hour later we pulled up to a decrepit and dilapidated
Stable Lodge
Machauhai wanna slap the biarttch or not?
and this is at like midnight ok?
People are tired.
Flights were delayed (thanks again air asia)
and now the brainless twit at the info desk has sent me
to a place called the Stable Lodge?
I direct our Clueless Cabby
with lots of hand-gestures and holding up of fingers
to Soi 10.
and there it is...... (drumroll) Le Travelodge!
The sigh that I heave is not out of relief.
Think Hitchcock's Bates Motel in Psycho.
Think something out of a Stephen King.
Think I am exaggerating.
Okay okay it wasn't that bad, I'm just spoiled.
But it was fer sure, no Mandarin Oriental.
The creepy, creaky, excruciatingly slow elevator takes us up to our floor.
"Do you think anyone else is staying here"
my friend whispers with widened eyes.
I shake my head ominiously.
The ancient phone on the desk *rings*.
Only 2 to a room we are told,
so someone must take a room on her own.
The air is thick with reluctant silence.
"I can sleep alone" I say.
remember?
5 minutes later,
we are strolling down the dark little lane (long,lonesome road)
that leads to Sukhumvit
in search for grub.
All of a sudden
there shined, 3 shiny people
in the middle of the road
A tall white man appears
sandwiched by 2 tiny, giggling Thai girls
He is very clearly completely fucking off his face
and its not just alcohol
it is so bad
that his head is lolling left to right
flopping like a dying fish attached to his shoulders
I am disgusted
So I carry on chatting animatedly
with sweet couple that arranged our lodging
"Yes," I say.
The rooms are brilliant.
Though by day, it didn't look so bad, we still moved.
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