London: Evening 2 (Allergic to Tequila)

Vanessa says that it was the first time I said ‘no’ to dancing
I was that drunk
Who mother-fucking drinks tequila shots anyway?
It’s so yesterday.

First, we met friends in Gordon’s Wine Bar a cavey, cellery, dungeony
mess of underground stone rooms built in 1890
Ho-nice-er.

There, after a bottle of wine each,
we were well on our way to shit-faced

Throughout uproarious conversation between us 4 girls,
I notice the guy at the next table massively eavesdropping.

‘Babe, ask him whether he enjoyed our conversation’ I nudge
Vanessa goes.
Us three look on, mouths covered.

Faced with the idea of sushi or Opium (club, not drug)
we foolishly chose not to line our stomachs and
flirted our way into the club (No need to pay 5 pounds pp)

(Oh he said he loved the conversation,
but didn’t understand some words-italiano)

Then, we had a tequila shot.
I may have visited the ladies 5 times, retching

‘No, babes, I don’t care if it’s Beyonce, I’m not dancing’.

We somehow got to the tube station.
Somehow I am still clutching my plastic bag
of Poilane bread, 2 cheeses and a punnet of strawberries.
I thrust the bag at her.
‘Babe, take it’.

She takes it.
‘Babe, take it.’
‘I have it, babe.’
‘No babe, take it all out, I need the bag’.

Everything is in slow motion.I’m having trouble keeping it down.

I’m trying my hardest to keep awake
but it’s not happening.
‘Babe,’ Vans shakes me.
‘If you move 2 seats ahead you can lie down.'
I look to my left, look back at her and say,
completely meaning it, ‘Its too far babe.’
Then I fall asleep.

She shakes me awake.
We’re the last ones in the tube, last stop.
We get out.
‘Babe, I need to sit’ I say as soon as we stand

I try and throw up again, dry heaving.
We stumble into a black cab.
She’s telling me about how I always take care of her,
she’s the one who normally gets drunk, how she’s drunk now
but she’ll take care of me

How she’s never seen me drunk-drunk ever.

We get home. She undresses me.
Gets me water, takes my make-up off
she is clomp-clomping around
my head is going dup-dup, dup-dup

Mayleen comes in tells us shhhh
ruffling my hair (possibly) and calling me a drunkard
Someone is telling me to take my tights off,
but I pull the blanket over my head and block everyone out.
Blasted tequila.