Sparkling Diamonds

Because I take lecithin and eat so much fibre
yet still dump once every 3 days (regularly if on holiday)
Ian says that diamonds should be coming out of my arse

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian: So what's the euro like now?

Me: I don't know.

Ian: What do you mean you don't know? You're going there!
Do you know what the latest fashion trend is?
You don't want to stick out like a sore thumb..

Me: Dunno, don't care..

Ian :I heard it's leather thongs (; Ones that show.
I think you should start praticing wearing them around the office..

Just Call Me 'Stress Merchant"

Fun with Real Emails
(this is a waste of your time)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Peter Rabbit to Aja Ng:

Hey belle,

How goes it today? do me favour? Check the attached document
for me for mistakes.

Cheers
Pete x

Aja Ng to Peter Rabbit:

Hey,
Edited where could. Slightly shortened, pleonasms and redundancies.
the one highlighted in yellow is for you to choose either one. Not both.

Have a nice day!

Pea-ass: Any news on maps?

Belle x

Peter Rabbit to Aja Ng:

What the fuck is a pleonasm??? Sounds like a futuristic weapon.

I emailed them earlier, they will give me 2 rooms. Who’s sharing with whom? XXX looks scary in the mornings!!

Sourcing out a decent map.

Later gator x

Aja Ng to Peter Rabbit:

WTF you only called TJR today?
You told me you booked it weeks ago!
PETER that is NOT funny.
At all.

Peter Rabbit to Aja Ng:

No, I did it ages ago but you want to change the date!
So I have to to amend the original booking you big freak oot!!!! Please learn to relax; I will take care of everything dear, no need to be stress merchant.

Aja Ng to Peter Rabbit:

Would that be a trader of stress?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stress-merchant. I like it.
Someone should make a wikipedia entry.

High

I just reread the posts below and I think it's evident that
someone had lotsa coffee.

Thus said, let me babble

Today it took me exactly 9 minutes to park and get coffee
at the Bean

While at the Bean I decided to have my usual
double shot regular vanilla latte
but with sugar free vanilla and skim milk
(in keeping with my battle against the fatness that
insensitive fools keep pointing out)
its funny that with sugar free vanilla
the latte turned out twice as sweet

Also at the Bean,
I was very impressed when a seemingly old man
(anything 45 and above is old)
ordered his various coffees and sandwiches
in fluent java lingo
(phwwwwooooarrrr! no squinting at this and that ,
asking what each and every drink is you know!)

Love it when old people are in with the times!

Yet more while at the Bean,
I perved at the counter-boy
who's really quite cute in a metro-chinesey manner
except that he's lacking height-ways
but he has nice skin, a smile that's just short of dazzling and a stud in his ear
which has a school-boy cute quality to it
but wouldn't quite fly in real-life

So there I was perving at him
when I realised that this was the very guy
who a month ago made me realise that I was starved of manjaness

Oh! suddenly it all came back like it was yesterday
Twas' 11 am on a Saturday morning
I had done the usual picking-up of the younger sister
and depositing of her at the mother's
when I strolled in the Bean all
dishevelled and just rolled out of bed-like
I ordered the usual, flipped through a magazine while he made it
when it was ready I wasn't done with the magazine
so I try my luck

"Can I please take this ?" I ask

"No miss, I'm sorry but we don't allow that", he says, straight but nice

Aja purses lips, sticks them out
allows a slight tremble

"Please, just one, once", I say bringing on super-manja-juice

He hesitates, face breaks out in a smile, slightest of nods

"Thank you!" I chirp, turning heel

It was only when I got into the car that I realised
I had manjaed with The Coffee Bean Guy
that I couldn't remember the last time I manjaed with someone.

Lack of manjaness was causing it to manifest in my daily activities
and that this could be very very dangerous
because manjaing with strangers unknowingly can bring on
negative consequences

Hmm here's a thought:

The reason why I prefer my vanilla lattes at the Bean is because
its richer, creamier, there
so if I'm gonna do sugarless and skim milk
then it kinda defeats the purpose of Beaning doesn' it?

Also while at the Bean (last one!)
the girl making my coffee (whom I so observantly noticed
had been moved from the Gurney Plaza outlet
to Belissa Row) burnt her hand steaming milk
and said "Fuck" rather loudly
she seemed unremorseful when the elderly patrons
looked reproachfully at her

For that, I think she will burn in hell

This is where I stop and bid you good day!

Howsaboutit?

Howsabout this Sunday afternoon,
we allllll get dressed up all Brit colonial like
and then we got to the Eastern & Oriental
for afternoon tea?

Howsaboutit howsaboutit howsaboutit?
Anybody game? Anyone?

Hot Like Cock

Isn't it? Isn't it?Isn'it?

Its just bloody sweltering
and its made me all grouchy-like (something to blame)

Its so hot that I took and extended lunch-time break
just so I could go home
and
peel my jeans off
and
prance around buck naked
like some kind of water nymph
without the water.

Private Lives-Noel Coward

So yesterday evening I watched this play
It was quite good actually, funny
though I did get drowsy towards the end
think it was the wine

I do feel they should have publicised it more
because it's only running for 2 nights
yet the auditorium was three quarters full
only ads on astro, not print, no web

Usual Penang whos and whos attended
either air-kissing or pretending not to know each other.

 

Grrr

So lunchhour today and I am on the treadmill
I keep my head down at the gym
speak to no one except the receptionist and towel boys
definately not the trainers

I'm huffing and puffing
wondering when I am going to break a sweat
and just as it's happening
this bouncy bunny turns up beside me
I have to take my earphones out, I have to slow down the speed
I have a precious 30 mins
I am not happy

Turns out they sent me the one with the worst english
I think it was deliberate
they piss me off, I work the rage off
she wanted to schedule my
complimentary dunno what dunno what
Bleh. She goes away.

Barely minutes pass when a trainer with coconut oil in his hair
stops by, I am the only one on the entire row of treadmills
they keep pickin on me
"Oh," he says, "you're a girl"
Kanneh! Like that's a surprise right?

'What do you mean?" I question

"I though you were a...a..bapok, you know?"

Okay, how does one react to that?
You can't say

'oh,it's a mistake anyone could have made'
or
'no worries, happens all the time'

You want to know how on earth? Like WTF right?
Somemore I'm PMS-ing and my tits
are huge(okay bigger then the normal smallness) in my gym wear
bouncy in a for-sure-not-silicone way

Then he goes on to tell me,
he only knew I was a girl for sure
when he heard me speak to the other trainer
Bastard

FAIL

Shiny happy people school did him no good at all.

NO, IA

I know it's Thursday and you're expecting, but
No. Na-uh. Unh-unh.
*shakes head*
There will be no 'sexy Redd' pictures for you this week.

Bleedin' Gym People

The people that work at the gym ah
man are they good
I mean they do their jobs well you know,
I applaud them.

When you first visit, tentative about joining (not really intending to just look-seeing)
they promise you everything under the sky
before you know it, you're suckered (who, me?)

When you go on holiday for awhile and make your first
visit after getting back
they say "Miss, you haven't been here for 5 whole days"
in the nicest possible manner, that of course being most effective
and scores maximatum (my blog, my word) points on the
guilt chart

When you rush in for a quick lunch-break on the treadmill
and leave before an hour is up, they say
"Wah, so fast ah?"

They greet you with a smile,
they say 'Have a great workout miss!"

They say "Wah you cut your hair, nice ah!"
even if its a DIY catastrophe made worse by a
chinese pangkor island (no 'Laut') hairdresser
who thinks short hair is for boys and can
not be made to look good on any woman
(not even me (; )

Man all these smily, happy, shiny gym people
damn scary.

So today I went for my first lunch session
to burn excess road rage
(fuckin hell some of the women drivers I tell you,
zero ability to gage space okay, inching forward when a bloody lorry could pass,
had a good mind to
haul her out of the car and make her eat her car keys),
amongst other things
knowing that I wont be free to attend tonight's
and tomorrow's night classes

and it felt good
all that adrenalin pumping
kinda made my afternoon more productive

Today is Daddy's birthday
He doesn't want to do dinner or a birthday gift
but yes, he'll take that bottle of Jack Daniels please

Runs in the family.

Well Fuck You, Bitch.

In almost 2 years here
my Bosses have tried to calm me down
inumerable times
after me acting out imaginative (I would like them to be physical) spats
with annoying farker-type clients

'Use simple english,' they tell me

'Make it idiot proof as possible'

My client runs marketing for a company that rakes
a shitload of money in each month
she communicates with me through my chinese-ed designers

Every month I write them poster
For June, the big event is Father's Day
my headline for that is "Doting on Daddy"

Designer girl comes in
_______ asks what this means she says, pointing to 'doting'
I say "Sayang, Manja, show affection"

Barely a minute she comes back in
__________ asks you to change the title
she says it's not attractive.

" Because she doesn't understand?" I question, eyes blazing
designer girl shrugs, she doesn't either.

Well, fuck you, bitch.

Someone idiot -proof me, please.

I should find something that would be even more difficult for this
bukit bitch to understand
I mean, what are they going to do?

Fire me?

The Talk

We are huffing up the hill in a
rare moment of quality time alone together

"Are you sure about her?" I ask him tentatively

"Sure as I'll ever be, we fit best, we have to work
at it, but it's close as it gets"

" hmmm"

"I realised that I've been too cautious all these years; choosy. You can't keep
cancelling them out over the small things
this one snores, this one slightly grouchy in the morning etc,
I stopped picking at so much"

"But I'm choosy!" I exclaim

He stops, ruffles my hair

"That's why my darling, you will die and old maid"

:O

I guess perfection is one of the hardest things to come across
if ever.

Frodo Teabaggin'

It's 11.30am when the boys breeze in
it's way too early for them to be here
they normally come in past lunch.

I learn that they have been at an event since 7 am
I seem to have been ousted.

They are on-fire, these two, fueled by copious amounts of coffee, I suppose

" Before Aja goes, we have to get her drunk.."

"Whether I go or not."

"... so we can see her put her legs behind her head one more time."

"I don't think I can do it anymore."

Sad looks.

"Well can I put my leg around you head?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You know, all these guys in Eastern Bloc countries all ah,
they like anal sex one you know? So you better get ready to look at your
knees."

I cringe.
" Who says I'm going to be into any of the men?"

They ignore me.

"Get ready for some baggin' " says Ian

"Frodo Teabaggin" continuous Aaron

I stand up
"Look, she's leaving!"

"No, I am not leaving. Coffee is necessary to survive you two."

Friday, 21st April, 2006

We arrived a Pangkor Laut earlier today

and spent the day doing the usual lazing on Emerald Bay
By 5 o'clock a noisy group of Taiwanese people arrived,
snap-happy (yes, so am I, but I am not loud and squeally)
they posed in a variety of positions
that reminded me of Pablo Francisco doing the Backstreet Boys
* rolls eyes*
We leave.

Later as I get dressed to meet the rest for dinner
I realise that I have underpacked.
Again.
I have this phobia about overpacking which
inadverdently causes me to underpack.
All the bloody time.

As I tap-tap on the wooden walkway over the sea
I become extremely aware that
my ever-so-comfortable, 'on holiday' boy-shorts
are displaying a very VPL

So throughout the night
I placate myself by telling me that a VPL is
far better than a butt flossing, anytime.

I mean, I love my thongs,
but they're just not practical on holiday
how to do sporty things then?
It's like wearing make-up to the gym
(gosh you wouldn't believe the amount of girls who do that)

Since stepping on the island,
I have seen 3 snakes
two that they caught somewhere
and a tree-snake at the bay
in my mind, I think:
"Stevo wouldn't survive here".

We have dinner, 3 couples and 2 singles
we drink, we become so loud it's best to pretend we're Taiwanese
"We're Taiwanese!" we chant in between bouts of loudness

It starts to pour. 'Call transportation' they say
'Lets walk in the rain', I say
'It's not thaaaat far' (underestimated)

The group is half-half about it
Its seriously pouring
We gather shoes in one big plastic bag,
bags in another

Deep breath.... and 6 RUNNNNNNNN
All the ang moh kau people applaud
aunty and uncle take the van.

We arrive soaked through
all warm up in matching bathrobes, play chor tai tee
eat stolen ice-cream
and end the night howling to
Goodbye My Lover.

To Pangkor & Beyond

Friday, 9.30 am
Bak Kut Teh, Sg. Kerang (somewhere in Perak?)

We had passed the store many times
but never dared venture
this time, we did

I mean BKT in the middle of nowhere?
Has to be good (true Malaysian fashion).

We ordered, I got out the camera
"I'm going to take pics around the town (100 metre stretch)
be back in 10"

I was back in two. The only thing worth snapping
was the injun family digging into BKT
not something I have seen in Penang, ever.

Friday, 1.30 pm
Emerald Bay, Isle of Pangkor Laut

I am reading the book Belle Du Jour
The Adventures of A London Call Girl
found it in the communal library
not as smutty as I thought.

Oh! You can find it online as well, it was originally a blog.

Friday, 9.30 pm, Fisherman's Cove

In between courses we entertain ourselves
by talking loudly, stuffing our faces with more delicious bread
and taking pictures with our 'lansi' poses

Before we run out into the downpour
I ask the chefs to bake us more bread
which we wrap in clingfilm and and I keep
safe (and warm) under my top.

.

Friday, 9 pm, Fisherman's Cove, dinner

Saturday's Shenanigans

.

1.30 pm, Emerald Bay

Observe my friends behaving like real jakuns (malaysianised jackoons?) in the background.

.

Saturday, 7.15 pm, Specially prepped Dinner-on-the-Rocks
Emerald Bay

When dinner was done
we sat, laughed, sang, and passed the bottles around
until they were drained

Then transport came and we assaulted the driver's
ears with more raucous strangling of the cat

"I am taiwanese, take a picture!"

No comment.

Sunday's Full Moon

Gloomy Sunday

Sunday, 6.45 pm, Pangkor Laut

In 1933 the song Gloomy Sunday was written
by a Hungarian composer
spinning a crushing emotional tale
it spurred many suicides
so much so that it was banned in many countries in Europe
go read the link la

I was introduced(rather, forced upon) to it ages ago by an ex boyfriend
who played it incessantly after our bad break-up

Today has been slow
a dark cloud has somehow descended on me
for no reason, and it scares me
that it has happened in paradise

The fact that the sun has played peek-a-boo all day
hasn't helped

My seven friends left this morning
as I sat on the cement stump at the very edge of the pier
in the sun (twas' sunny then)
shaping my mouth into a pronounced moue
and pretending to sob and lunge off
into the cool green waters

And, really, it wasn't that bad, them leaving
I have my aunt and uncle is coming
but when I went back to the room it felt
asthough all the joie de vivre had seeped out of me

and I spent the entire afternoon in
glum, working on writing

when I finally stepped out at half-six
I glanced skywards
and thought "Gloomy Sunday'', how apt
then I looked at my Ipod and gave myself a choice
pick some upbeat music to cheer yourself up
or
accellerate your situation with bluesy stuff
cue coltrane and ellington
"In A Sentimental Mood" & "Rhapsody in Blue"
cause'I be blue.

Maybe it's because my camera battery is dead
and I haven't reached my weekend picture taking quota

Guests walk by, and though I normally greet them
chirpily, as though to my own home
today I make little attempt to smile
and try and disappear into the retaining stone wall by the pool
in the ditch-type-thing in which we rested during our trek
in the downpour last Friday

I walk over the sea
peer into the clear shallows
today it is abundant with urchins
I never noticed them til today
how is it possible?
Seems omnious to see them today
all spiky and angry black looking

Fish swim in shoals
I can hear my cacat friends voices in my head
" How do they all go in the same direction?"

"They follow the one in front's tail"

"How does the first one know where to go?"

How ah?

Is It Possible to PMS While on OCP?

An email, I wrote in reply to a friend's
____________________________________

Your email is an extremely pleasant surprise, in actual fact, I got it
on Sunday but was too busy to write back just yet.I hope you'll give
me regular updates about your travels; what you see, do , experience, each
day (=

I got back to Penang Monday afternoon actually, went straight to the
gynaecologist, who said that I should just continue on the pill (since
the bleeding is slowing month-to-month) and see how it goes next
month. Also ironic that the day i went to see her, the bleeding had
stopped.Oh well.

I hate my life right now, this almost-in-transition thing. Work 's
pretty darn crazy-busy, Bosses visibly very
stressed, haven't mentioned my leaving to me yet,
seem bitter.

I noticed something, they will never keep the 'young
blood' because the place is uninspiring, they are too set
in their 'old ways' and we know if we stay we'll fade and become dull
shadows like them.
thats why Gayle left, Phoebe left, I'm leaving, Gabriel
will leave and Kym will leave.

Anyway I was saying I hate my life. That I am so busy. That
every night there's a social engagement. That people somehow think I
exaggerate when I say how busy I am, but with so many differing groups
of friends, different family branches and people visiting .. I do try and please and be fair to everyone.

My dad actually
complained that I should allocate them more time today, because I
rushed off to the gym last time.

But on the other hand he tells me I'm fat. That I need to exercise,
eat less, lose weight. Well, pray tell then father, when shall I go? I
see you after work for dinner, then go straight to the gym then sleep
then work. SO when?

Even Vanessa said 'Aja could lose some weight'. Yeah, I know she can,
but they think it's so easy meh? My part of my job is to eat la hello?
Even if it's 2 reviews a week, it's alot okay, and all these social
engagements mean eating. Think I'm going vegetarian for awhile (but
then how to review?).

*bangs head on keyboard
vdsklhflkszHDlkWHLKFHSDL;FDL
then wall*


OUCH!

That and if and when I do have some free time I have to schedule
freelance work so that I don't starve(literally and figuratively) when
I stop working. I feel like every one is hounding me for time and I'm
dreading the words 'are you free?' .

I growl when my phone beeps. Loudly.
And people don't understand that
when I say I'll call or text, I will. Hounding me somemore will only
make me stay away more.

I need the whole world to stop for 24-hours and
allow me 24 hours to just chill out, touch base, recharge.

I'm sorry, I'm ranting. This was not meant to be that way. It was
supposed to be happy. Write me, tell me everything, lift me up!

In fact, maybe I push myself so hard because I know, I am so blessed.
Every single day I tell myself how lucky I am to have the family that I have,
the friends, the jobs
to lead the life that I do.

People who genuinely care, because I genuinely care as well (and I hope they know)

I want for nothing, except time.

Last Night @ Peppino's

Chef Marco Anzoni has a liberal hand with
rocket (rucola, arugula)
aka
Aja's favourite herby-leaf thing
more pics here

Personal Matters

We are driving on the windy road
when he says " So, is the stuff you blog about truly personal?"

Me: "Yeah, of course some of it is really personal. It's easier for me to put myself
out there and sorta see it as a form of just letting it out
because I don't have to see anyone face to face."

"So do you get bothered when people ask you about this stuff
after you've written it?"

"Yeah, if it's personal, I do get bothered."

"Okay so let me just say something then I am going to shut up,
GO SEE A DOCTOR."

I am going okay, later today.

The point though, of this post is
that while I may put myself out here
you may read about my insights, problems, humourous moments
and etc
I don't necessarily want to know that you know
you know what I mean?

It's easy to just shoot the shit
because I'm not facing anyone
but when I do have to...it's a weird feeling
especially when it's people you hardly know

it really still does make me feel uncomfortable
when I am out on land (as opposed to cyberspace)
and people remark about something I wrote
more so when it's something immensely personal

Its hard to explain I guess
a personal diary of sorts
available for all to read
and yet I half do, but half don't
want to know it's being read.

Dim Sum Tastes Better with Company

How ironic
that the very next day after I quit
I come in to work the earliest ever
(without my Boss having to specially request that I come in early)

*WOOOT*WOOT*

Someone handed in their
one month's notice today

Guess who? Guess who!!!??

Yeah and now comes the month where they
work me to the ground
to get their moneys worth..
and then....

And then, you know what?
Holiday man. Holiday.
Tg. Jara, Bangkok, Langkawi, Perhentian, Camerons

Uh huh, wherever I can fit them in.
Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooottttt
and then I leave.

Fark.
where got time?
What about spending time with family?
Friends?

Times moves too fast and there aren't enough hours in each day.

Last Wednesday

Last Thursday

Saturday @ PLR

 

 

What's Up with the Ovaries?

Not for the delicate ears of men.
Really.
So now, shoo!

A girlfriend calls me last night
It's been awhile since we last spoke
and she's telling me about relationship predicaments
made worse by health, age and other factors engulfing her partner and her
such as a different set of relationship values

A few months ago she found out she has Polycystic Ovary Syndrome
which has somehow made her body clock
tick faster
she knows that the probability of her having kids after 30
is low
she's 26 now, and in her condition
childbearing-ness doesn't come easy
thus hormone therapy is needed
A year in advance may(as in might) produce a baby

So, she doesn't have that much in the way of time.

Her relationship however, started as one
without promises of a future
right when they started, her man made clear
that he didn't believe in marriage unless absolutely completely
as-sure-as-possible
he also made clear that babies are a no-no

His rationale is well, rational
"How can I take responsibility of another being's future
when I don't even know what my own is?"
I guess he also willingly admits to selfishness.

So when they started, she was cool with it
after all, who starts out in a relationship immediately planning marriage?

But now, now she knows that if she waits too long
she may never have her own kids
worse yet, if she decides to stay with someone
who never wants kids.

So she is, reasonably, trying to plan long-term, think long-term
which is just a process of turmoil really.

"Why must you have your own kids? Why can't you adopt?
Why do you women always just want to settle down
and get married and have kids? Do you not think theres more
for you out there?"

Those are the comments she gets when she tells certain (not all)
men friends about her predicament.

Most women want children of their own
it's an in-built need
completion of a cycle
same as that need to nurture others
cook for our families, make sure
everyone is wellfed, happy, warm
since the dawn of time, it's what we were created to do

And of course, above all people she and I know
that there is indeed more to life than having babies
and marriage,

she's an extremely successful woman
with a good job and everything headed her way
but when she is faced with the fact that
even if she may not want kids now
if she waits too long
she may never be able to have kids
what's a girl to do?

An awful place to be indeed.
Add that to the fact that her hormones are berserk
and she's see-sawing left and right, diagonally etc
on an emotional roller-coaster
and feels less of a woman because she can't do
what women were created to do
as easily as other women.

Yeah, like it or not, we were made to have babies
and it's not something we should shy away from
at all
it makes us stronger and I won't go so far as to say
more important but hell,
we bring a lot to life don't we?
Careers and such are only add-ons to
the quality lives we already lead
just by being gifted the responsibility of childbearing.

So how can they fault her for considering something
she wouldn't be considering if she didn't have that condition?

I listen. For that is the only solace I can offer.
My mind is a riot of thoughts
for if I found out I couldn't have kids of my own
I don't know what I'd do
adopt for sure, but like it or not
the void will stay
Now I worry, the bleeding has started again

"Babe," I blurt " I 'm still bleeding"

"What? For fucks sake, go see a doctor babes,"

"I dowan."

"Why?"

"It's too expensive babe, it's crazy."

"Now you know babes, have to save up to go doctor right?"

You see, when she was first diagnosed and had to
go for regular check-ups, she didn't
and I bugged her, even offering to escort her
telling her it wasn't something she could put off
and now, now here I am, same position

It's not that I can't get family support or anything
I can, but I guess she and I are alike in a sense that
being independent women, who earn our own money
we don't like asking for help
and then there's face, and bothering other people.

and she earns like, 6 times what I earn
and I know that the next time I go and see
the doctor she will want to admit me and do the
bloody (bloody alright) D & C
and who's going to hold my hand?

Moving on to another issue,
how many young women my age are doing this?
Sick, yet putting off doctors visits
because we just can't afford it,
and don't have the time for lines at GH
or even want to visit GH in the first place?

I'm willing to bet alot.
Yes, yes, and health insurance?
When we can afford it ya?

Sometimes I am dumbfounded by my own stupidity
yet sometimes, you just can't help it.

Welcome, Monday!

Yeah.
Woke up at 7
aching like a bitch.

Go lah wake-boarding somemore
bloody hero(ine).

Anyway dragged me outta bed,
battled the jam
spilled my coffee on my lap
froze my arse off at the meeting
and what do I have to show?
But coffee staines and non-stops jibes
about the YB that hit on me during the ADUN meeting.

Dontcha just love Mondays?

Can You See My Sidebar?

Well can you?
Or is it just those that are using Mozilla?
Well, if you didn't know, I have a sidebar
it's supposed to be on the right hand-side right now while you're
reading
if it's not then you gotta scroll down down down
which kinda sucks doesn't it?
Get Mozilla.

Relax? My Arse

I arrived on the island at noon

Immediately pick a book up,
Change into my bikini and hit Emerald Bay
I read, I lunch, I sway in the hammock

Finally, my aching limbs are getting their much needed stillness
Nat walks up
“Eh they just started wake-boarding, come we try?”

“Okay” says I,disregarding my screaming muscles.

I’m already pretty burnt from the sun and tired
from frolicking in the magnetising sea at half-hourly intervals
I’ve been up since 7am and driven 3 hours
But do I say, “No, I need to rest?”

*shakes head*

We get up on the boat
I go first
("You go lah, I'm scared", she said)
We are first timers, mind you.

I get up a few times, take a break, my forearms are quivering
Nat’s turn.
I’m not kam-wan
So I go again

When we are done, the sun is setting.
I have never ached so much in my entire life.
Ever
Never.
(This is where other members of my family say
‘fuck the dog man, I can’t move’)

It hurts to sit down
it hurts to stand
It hurts between my shoulder blades
My knees hurt, my thighs
My wrists hurt

You get the picture?

I made dinner plans when I first got here
But when I’m showered and immobile on the bed
I think, ‘fuck that’

I’m getting room service, I’m sleeping early then I ‘m going for yoga,
breakfast, a massage and a swim before I leave
that be the plan.

So dinner is mushroom soup with truffle oil
Preceded by glorious grain bread dipped in olive oil and balsamico
(good, nutty bread with olio and balsamico is one of the best things on earth I feel)
A glass o’ red
And a whole grouper and tiger prawns
Grilled and barely seasoned, served with a mesclun salad

(couldn’t finish, went halves with Nat)

Talk about divine.

I may ache, I may be exhausted to the bone
I may not be looking forward to going home
or having to finish 2 articles tomorrow
Or having to wake up early for the ADUN meeting on Monday
But right this second, I am content beyond belief.

Cannot Move

Before I start, let me just tell you something about
sporadic mid-week holidays
they really screw up your schedule.

Take last Tuesday’s public holiday for example
I woke up bored shitless
My closest friends worked that day cos the businesses they deal with
didn’t recognise the day as a holiday,
so I decided to go to Gurney Plaza (which is just plain evil).

I spent nearly 40 bucks on lunch alone
bumped into a male friend and met his mom (was braless, not a good thing)
charged a skirt for 50
and joined the bloody gym
yes me.

Celebrity Fitness no less.

I told myself it was worth joining because:

(a) It’s near home and I can walk

(b) Working late doesn’t allow me to go for those walks in Botanical Gardens anymore

© The gym has all these fab classes that will make exercise fun

(d) The treadmills face the windows overlooking the sea
(so I can pretend to be transfixed by the view and not have to indulge in small talk)

(f) That paying such an exorbitant price would be the most
important motivational factor in me getting my arse there and making use of facilities

So I went the first night for treadmill
The very next morning for yoga
And the 3rd night for two back-to-back street jam classes

Yeah, I’m trying hard to justify charging it.

And I am paying.
Every muscle in my body aches
Which is why when my aunt casually suggested I drive to Pangkor Laut this weekend
to pick her up (after staying the night)
I agreed.

Woot. Can’t wait to relax on the beach and not move.

It's Not You

It's me.

After stressful days at work, I like to be alone
Unwind, relax, recollect.
More so when it’s the Friday ending a hard week.
Like this one.

If I say 'no' once, I mean it
When have I ever shied from making plans or traversing the social circuit
When I am up for it?

If I want to see anyone, or be with anyone
I’d most probably invite or suggest plans myself,
when I don’t it’s for obvious reasons,
I don’t want to.

So I deflect.

No amount of smses or calls will change things
The more you ask, the more I feel cornered
The more I resent you, the more I want to run
Don’t take offense, don’t push
Don’t jump to conclusions, or try and give me the guilt-trip
Just leave me be
And I’ll come around, eventually, on my own.