Relax? My Arse

I arrived on the island at noon

Immediately pick a book up,
Change into my bikini and hit Emerald Bay
I read, I lunch, I sway in the hammock

Finally, my aching limbs are getting their much needed stillness
Nat walks up
“Eh they just started wake-boarding, come we try?”

“Okay” says I,disregarding my screaming muscles.

I’m already pretty burnt from the sun and tired
from frolicking in the magnetising sea at half-hourly intervals
I’ve been up since 7am and driven 3 hours
But do I say, “No, I need to rest?”

*shakes head*

We get up on the boat
I go first
("You go lah, I'm scared", she said)
We are first timers, mind you.

I get up a few times, take a break, my forearms are quivering
Nat’s turn.
I’m not kam-wan
So I go again

When we are done, the sun is setting.
I have never ached so much in my entire life.
Ever
Never.
(This is where other members of my family say
‘fuck the dog man, I can’t move’)

It hurts to sit down
it hurts to stand
It hurts between my shoulder blades
My knees hurt, my thighs
My wrists hurt

You get the picture?

I made dinner plans when I first got here
But when I’m showered and immobile on the bed
I think, ‘fuck that’

I’m getting room service, I’m sleeping early then I ‘m going for yoga,
breakfast, a massage and a swim before I leave
that be the plan.

So dinner is mushroom soup with truffle oil
Preceded by glorious grain bread dipped in olive oil and balsamico
(good, nutty bread with olio and balsamico is one of the best things on earth I feel)
A glass o’ red
And a whole grouper and tiger prawns
Grilled and barely seasoned, served with a mesclun salad

(couldn’t finish, went halves with Nat)

Talk about divine.

I may ache, I may be exhausted to the bone
I may not be looking forward to going home
or having to finish 2 articles tomorrow
Or having to wake up early for the ADUN meeting on Monday
But right this second, I am content beyond belief.