Split In/To Camps

Recently someone asked me if I wanted to be their
partner, open a restaurant in Penang.

This means forgoing California next year
Going back to Malaysia in August
working in a pro kitchen for half a year then
proceeding with our business from there

My partner would be someone with over a decade’s experience
running successful hotels
Someone who loves me and would only do the best for me
Someone I trust.

My fears would be not knowing enough to manage my own kitchen
But I could always hire staff, and we would start
on a small scale.

Trust me, I know the dedication, sweat, toil it entails
don’t tell me to read Bourdain or Ramsay or Stroobant
I knew about them far before most did
I’m probably the only one that squealed with
excitement when Zach told me he got his Larousse
so naturally he was part of my council

“Penang? Restaurant?” he said, “I am not sure if they’re ready”
“California?Wine-country? Thomas Keller? Oohhh baby!”

But I am not talking haute cuisine here
I am talking good, simple food; cosy yet sophisticated ambience
good wine, good coffee, good music.

Father says we might not have the clout to pull it off, the market
But father doesn’t go to these sort of places, ever

But I do, and I know lots of people who do
All of us, the ones who do Bagan and the like

I want it to be in between Bagan and La Bodega Deli
Somewhere to do a late sunday brunch, proper bacon ad bangers
play Pictionary in the afternoons,
settle in for a sumptuous supper and some jazz.

But it means giving up travelling, writing
(which some say I would blossom more from)
for awhile

Predictably there are some who are all for it
and others against.
The ones sceptical ones who think
writing, travelling and gastronomy isn’t a career
(because it sounds too easy)
so I should come back, do something ‘solid’

Then there are the ones who look at where they
are now, at how they can’t get out
are too afraid to get out
So they tell me not to get in.

But I guess neither camps truly understand me
My passions, my chosen career paths, me.

And all of my confidantes, advisers are much older than me
and,
hardly anyone is truly happy where they are
Moaning in ruts, unwilling to risk everything to do what they really want
stuck in a way of life that society has drilled into
them as ‘right’.

Blinders.

Either way I go, it’s a circle, it leads me back to the same things
Either way, I will learn, blossom, be fulfilled.
Food, children, travel, writing.
Writing, travel, food, children.

Someone said ‘Travelling isn’t a career path,and neither is a children’s shelter,
it wouldn’t pay the bills’

But right now, that’s exactly what pays the bills,
even before I left Malaysia
writing about food and travels.

This is when you realise someone totally doesn’t get you.

And me, I can take a step back and say,
Some people will just never see, and leave it.

I said, to a certain degree
Its not about money or success, its about waking
up every morning, feeling good about what I do.

The question is what comes first.