Thursday, November 16, 2006

Head vs Heart

Frou's post about tickles reminded me of
something I'd recently pondered.

How much is too much honesty in a relationship?

Once upon a time I was head over heels
with a man whom I knew was completely in love with me

But before we got to being in love with each other
still in that 'friend' stage
he confided in me that he was in love with a girl
who was marrying someone else.

Months later, we lay tangled in bed
and I let my mind and mouth wander
"If she dumped him, would you want to be with her?
leave me?"

I knew what the answer would be
But he started with " You know, I thought about that.."
and just like that alarm bells pealed
I had woken the sleeping dogs,
I didn't want to know that he'd thought about it,
I just wanted a straight out "You're the only one for me now"
naive as it was, sometimes we just want the reassurance.

But the heart and mind can sometimes
be so completely in sync
and sometimes so separate

You can be madly in love with someone, certain
yet your mind will wander
cast you a role in a thousand different scenarios
that give you the *tickles* as Frou mentioned
and yet, you know all that could/would never be
in reality

So how could I begrudge him for something that I myself had
thought about, with different characters?

They always say follow your head, not your heart
but its your head that takes you to these places
while your heart stays faithful.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I've only ever been on the receiving end of this. And whenever it comes up, part of my heart wants to die. Loyalty, loyalty...wherest art thou?

Your timing is impeccable Ja.

the frou fr0u one said...

i dunno if ah boy has ever begrudged me for my tickles, but he understands it as how i would understand it with him.

hmm maybe i do have too much honesty in the relationship. most prolly i do coz i'm a very open person.
But it works so far and i rather give total honesty as i would like it back from him.

i like this very much:-
"They always say follow your head, not your heart but its your head that takes you to these places
while your heart stays faithful"

Eaglet said...

Siapa ini t.b Tyson Beckford is that you? Yoo-hoo!

Receiving end of what..excessive honesty?

I'm half-half about it there are somethings you'd rather not know, yet if they wouldn't tell you, you'd say they were 'keeping things' from you.

I guess we just have to bite the bullet and realise that thats the way humans work.

What goes through our minds isn't necessarily what we want, or will do.

Its just entertaining a possibility, then shaking your head and going back to reality.

Eaglet said...

Frou: Thank you. I dont think ah boy begrudges you for anything la. You guys have something very open and understanding, which is cool.

I just think its fascinating because we encourage honesty, but then when we get it pure, wah, cannot tahan.

Honesty is good, just need to broaded minds.

(=