What is it with you Chinese people?

Fuck off man!

I am not fat!

Fat is Hurley in "lost".

Fat is a Sumo Wrestler.

Fat is fucking

Moby Dick.

Why can you never ever ever ever start a conversation

without first say something derogatory to/about the person?

Yes it's a bloody cultural thing, but fucking hell man, have you no manners?

The first words that spill out of their mouths

are generally just downright rude.

" Oh you've put on some weight"

"Oh, you've gotten darker ( with a disapproving shake of the head)"

(ohh yes, getting a tan in asia is would be tantamount to me taking a lover and being cast out by society had I been born in the Victorian age.

So, I guess my dowry has now reduced substantially.)

"I couldn't recognize you cos your face got rounder"

say it a little farther into the conversation yeah, but that's not how you start a goddamn conversation.

And you wonder why you can't pull women.

Jesus, a whole race of geniuses.

Or you wonder why you're losing more and more of your women to expats,

or enlightened Asian men returning from studies abroad

or even losing your women to women.

Okay but, I won't go there, this isn't a rant directed at Asian men, it is more specifically to the Chinese people. Grandmother's, Aunt's, Uncle's etc.

Read any book by a Chinese novellist about family life, and you will find that they all have the same problem.

Chinese parents never praise, never compliment, never show affection.

And they pass this delightful trait on to their wormy, spineless sons and lament over why, at the age of 35 their sons still can't find a woman and are living at home and being spoon-fed by their mothers.

Not true?

Off the top of my head,

I can name 10 men above the age of 28 who still live at home with their parents.

No girlfriend, (unless she is mousier than he) no wife.

"Nothing is ever good enough, you are never good enough"

(this coming from my father, about his mother)

They never tell you you've done well, or that they are proud, happy for you.

No, they'll bring up your past mistakes a hundred thousand times, and not once mention your accomplishments.

Do I say, " Hello, gosh your zits seem to be more volcanic this year, how do you deal with the pus? or wait is that snot?"

Do I tell you that "you look like a goddamn sleazy wanker with no prospects whatsoever in the bedroom department ever?"

Or do I say , " Yes my dear 60 year old aunty, and how are you? Have you found yourself a husband yet? Or are you going to wait until the Old Folks Home to start dating?"

I swear, I may be half Chinese, but this is seriously one of the rudest traits in the world.

One day I will snap one of them.

my family will then suffer the consequences of having such and atrociously rude and ill-mannered female in their midst,

it'll be as though I had been seen fornicating with the Devil himself

and no Chinese family will let their precious pock-faced son

be associated with me thereafter,

but heck,

Someone has to do it.

(=