To String Or Not To String

(a follow-up to Overcoming The Need)

Someone said to me a few weeks ago

" I'm applying for the position as a part time lover"

I said, " Sorry, not taking applications"

When asked why, I stated that it's simply to messy.

and isnt that true?

No Strings Attached

such famous last words.

Me, I am at this point in my life where I am

(i say this unashamedly)

completely selfish.

This is what happens when you spend the past 9 years in relationships,

giving and giving.

So now its time for me.

(that's the end of the sentence)

hang on, So now, it's time for Me.

This means that, I will put myself first, where and when I can.

Since I obviously put my family above Me.

I don't want a serious relationship right now

I don't particularly want a boyfriend-type person

I don't want to have to divide my time between the existing and yet another person.

But,

I still need occasional cuddles

I need affection

I need sex

But all these No Strings Attached,

Fuck-Buddy type arrangements are so complicated!

So how?

Yeah, yeah you say, " it's all just for fun"

" I'm always in control of my feelings"

"I won't fall"

" I can handle it"

But what bullshit.

always fucking happens.

Someone always inevitable develops feelings

and then they get all sensitive

and needy

and possesive

and demanding

*shudder*

it ends up being messier and more complicated than any normal relationship.

drives me mad.

to be fair,

some of them work.

Most don't cause it's going to hard to find someone who's going through the exact same phase

and

wants the same things that you do at the moment

and

whom you are attracted to.

Simple.Uncomplicated, life. Why do you elude me?