Scales

Well, if my emotional ups and downs this week
was a musical scale
we'd have some pretty big music.

The entire trip home has been..
eventful, to say the least.

from getting on the train in Cardiff, to Heathrow
flight to Copenhagen, to Amsterdam
and beyond,
Everything was delayed.
Every single effing thing.

Then Daddy calls in between to say grandmother is sick.

I swear, 40+ hours travelling
Malaysia is really making me pay for leaving.

I get to the wedding, which is stunning
and was the first (amongst many) to be graciously
thanked for travelling so far to be there
cried like child.

Then back home to Penang,
where in my first 5 minutes getting a
Vanilla Latte to-go from Coffee Bean
(there are none in the UK)
I am given a welcome home summons

Its also within the first 5 minutes of driving
that I throw my hands off the wheel
and tell my mother I can't do it
traffic is too scary.

Then I see grandmother, for the first time ever
pale and drawn, so frail with the tubes
criss-crossing.

Later I fall into Henry,thrilled
and it crosses my mind that it may be
unhealthy for one to be so so consumed by one's bed
its the same, but different, something is missing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are having lunch when he tells me I haven't been blogging
"I know" says I, but I didn't bring Percy
"You didn't bring Percy?So how will you blog?"
"The PC" I maintain (actually bluff one)

Cos actually right, there's hardly time
A week I've been here, how fast its flown
another 10 days, it'll all be gone
I'd rather see people then spend my holiday blogging
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We are having a 6 course dinner paired
with different Martinborough Pinots

I am talking about breast implants
when the sommelier darts in to pour
U-Rod widens eyes, we giggle
he tells me the waiter lingered to stare
thus, I do not need implants
I wouldn't anyway.

Then, he too reminds me that I haven't been
blogging.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am having a rather lengthy, intense, one-sided
conversation with grandmother
she lies on cream silk in her casket
angelic and peaceful in eternal sleep
more at peace then she ever was alive

I speak to her, rather loudly
for (I think) everyone else is outside
I ask her where her recipe book is
tell her how I love that cheongsam she gave me last year
(and do you have anymore por-por?)
I tell her I hope she's okay
and that the chicken curry is very good

Then I look up, and sitting right in front of me
is Nagama the part-time maid
looking at me like I'm a freak.