For a 'different' night out- 2 hours MAX 

Gin Soaked Bar Room Queen

Whoop-te-doo!!!

Friday's come, 7 hours to go before I'll officially be on holiday...

tra-la-la!

Tonight, I am going to be a

" Gin Soaked Bar Room Queen" sez Daddy (somewhere in a conversation over dinner..concerning exes and brain hemorrhages)

Actually, it'll be more like..VODKA soaked!

Last night, after a sumptous Indian dinner at (" are you Roby's uncle?")..shit forgot the name of the place...

We strolled down that street that's infested with backpackers

(good sense of direction, bad with road names)

and stopped

at the Blue Diamond

Where this guy was

strangling the cat

He was so bad that

we had to stop for a drink

if only to laugh or gaze in awe at

his utter incompetence

he was so bad that

people were videotaping him

So, if you ever wanna do anything different with your night,

go to the Blue Diamond

have a laugh!

Mayleen, Mayleen!

My beautiful cousin arrived a day early with a bounty of pressies for lil ole me!

I got a new pair of shoes

Lotsa thongs and a bra

My old trainers that were brand new when I left the there 2 years ago, but have since become aged....hmmm...

A colourful scarf

Lots of sexy tops

Yippie!

We had a glorious Thai dinner, and made plans to go diving this weekend, before our weeks holiday next week.

WHoopee!

And then and then and then...

Daddy gave me..

some money!

which of course, I demurely refused (though I really need it) but

"Take it", said he. " For your petrol money, taking your cousin around"

Wah, petrol money? So much leh..

I took it.

I need it, else I would starve during and after our holiday.

But now I feel bad.

Can't remember the last time I took money from a parent (cheh....1 dollar ,2 dollar cannot count la), doesnt feel good.

But it's normal right?

I mean, kids do this all the time right?

Why did Daddy suddenly give me cash? How did he know? Is it like, parental intuition?

Or did he like *shudder* read my post bout borrowing 40 cents from Capes (oh shit..gotta pay him back..) and feel bad for me?

OMG!!

does daddy read my blog?

Durian,Fig Yoghurt and Apple-Cinnamon Doughnut 

Breakfast Schraekfast

And so I sat , this morning with these there items in front of me.

Fig Yoghurt from gay paree

Apple-Cinnamon Dunkin Donut from Kay-Elll

and

Stinky Durian from Penang

All just for my breakfast. Had to take the doughnut cos it was the last one, had to take the yoghurt cos it was just too tempting, had to take the durian cos I was subjecting my housemates to an extremely stinky fridge.

It looked like a sad selection.

It tasted like leftovers from a mental asylum.

Me gotsa the belly-ache.

A Secret Confession

For the past 3 days, I have been secretly running down to 7-11 @ 4 pm,

for what I tell myself is my 'afternoon treat'.

A gentle, persuasive nudge to help me through the next 0ne hour and forty-five minutes before clock out.

One Bag of Nacho Cheesier Doritos

and

An Iced-Milo or Mango Yoghurt Drink

Bad Aja! , Bad Aja!(so spank me already...)

Today, Aaron, caught me.

"Why never offer?" Sez he

"One bag so little only wor..." Sez I, trying to subtly hide bad behind my back

"Gimme!" Sez he, lunging forth and grabbing it from my grasp.

He stuffed his faced (mmm..not bad huh) and proceeded to go down and buy more.

And thus I created a Monster. Another Dorito Monster, like me.

Yes, yes I hate junk food, but sometimes one must make exceptions.

Dorito-spreading addict 

I have created a MONSTER! 

Of Big Lunches and College Days

Yesterday Zach and I were sitting around in my mother's garden

reminiscing about the old college days...

My mother's big lunches

The ones we drove 25 minutes each way to scarf down

The ones my good college buddies would go for without me if I had classes

and they did not

even if it was

my house

and

my mother

and

my food

and they were

without me

Scene: Aja comes out of class to see, Meng, Beng, Zach, Derek and etc dawddling around smoking ciggarettes..

Aja: Hey, what did you guys do for lunch?

Guys: Uh, we went to your house..wah your mom cooked damn good man today!

Aja: Where? My house?...Cheh...

yes.

Those lunches, you remember?

and so, we coerced my mom into cooking us lunch today and I must say it was lip-smackingly good, though nothing like those days cos you guys were not around

Thus,

I extend an invitation

Next time everyone is in town

Give me a buzz

and we shall arrange

"A Lunch in Honour of College Days"

Dress Code: Ala College

Bad hair and body odour: optional.

Wei, Someone Please Shake Me!

Yesterday I was so goddamn motherfucking broke that I had to borrow forty fucking cents from Capes to buy a goddamn drink.

40 cents.

how fucking sad is that?

Got paid today though.

But seriously, I can't afford this man.

Gotta get some side income.

Gotta get writing free-lance again.

Gotta find the time and inspiration.

Sometimes I wish I was still living at home and off my parents.

Then, I think, am I fucking crazy to be considering that or what?

I could never ever ever do that man.

I haven't written a proper 'piece-for-sale' in about half a year.

It's amazing..

I can blog everyday

Send 100 emails each day

send dozens of text (though I 've cut down drastically)

but I can't write one fucking article on a subject that I love

I can't even write 5 lines on the back of a bookmark about picnics on deserted islands

Someone please SHAKE me!

Hopefully, my one week's holiday next week of sun, sea and sleep will get me inspired.

If it doesn't, I'll just go soak my head and hope to grow some brains.

This is another great shot of us with the storm coming in behind us...that's Tilly BTW, I was babysitting her that day.. 

May and I playing in the rain,yes, we look like shite but its really such a 'happy' picture 

A beginning, an ending

I watch them throught the screen

She was stepping on both his feet

While he walked

The way I used to do

With you

It brought a flow of tears

For no one ever really knew

Of all that was shared

Or all that I had

With you

She feared loss

The way I feared losing everything I knew

A fear so overwhelmingly powerful

That never grew so great

Until...

With you

Then there was

Turmoil in my breast

Wrenching so hard

I could not take in a single breath

A slashing

My bleeding heart in shreds

I place on the ground

For you to walk upon

A flow of tears

Before I banish

All memories of

Life...

With you

Make haste

Before I lay your soul to waste

For tomorrow

There will be

Not the slightest trace of sorrow

Is It Just Me?

Is it just me or does something seem a bit off lately?

Like does everyone seem

extra tense

extra moody

extra grouchy

extra guarded

extra defensive

I swear, the whole past week I've noticed this, from my grandmother, friends, waiters, random strangers..

It's asthough the world's energy is off-balance

and no, before you say it or give me the look that Zach gave me when I told him...,

I am not into Lillian Too

It's just a strange feeling..and I want to tell you a supposedly true, horrifying story that I heard yesterday but I don't want to over-spread it or scare you

It's weird.and everyone is affected, yet they don't know, or think of it the way that i do.

Immediately after work today,

I'm just going home to my unbelievably inviting and comfortable bed,

lock the door, curl up

and basically tell the rest of you buggers to fuck off.

Something isn't right

O.D-ing on the Valley

As much as I enjoyed the partying-scene,

The company of great friends and ear-suckling-artists,

The 4 hour lunches,

Talking cock and about cock,

Being the solid rock for those who pretended-to-have-their-drink-spiked-but-are-actually-just-lightweight to lean on

Perving at beautiful men who are either married or gay or both

And late night suppers in back alleys that consist of porridge, pickles and intestines…

I ‘ve had enough!

No more KL, for awhile at least (=

Thanks though you guys know I love you long long deep deep * something something in Thai.....* Right?

Calculations from Wednesday to Sunday(5 days) go like this,Out of a total of 120 hours:

20 hours spent sleeping

19 hours working

17 hours travelling to and from KL

16 hours on long lunches (some that led to dinner)

10 hours clubbing

4.5 hours on suppers

and 33.5 hours getting ready, watching tv while waiting for others to get ready, and travelling to chosen venues…

You read also you tired right?

Mondays suck superbigtime man!

All I want to do is skive, beach myself on the sand or by the pool and have the breeze blow my hair theatrically back while the sun shines on me , making me *glow* asthough I am part of a music video.

Yeah you have a good Monday.Bah!

24 Hours in KL

I left Wednesday immediately after work at 8, got there at 11.30pm.

returned the next day on the 11.30pm coach cos I had to work today

I arrived at 4, got to bed at 5, woke at 8.

Crazy.

I am going back there on the half seven flight, not even 24 hours in Penang.

I'm trying to kill myself with all this partying

but I swear the moment I get with the girls its like coming home, no more exhaustion, stress, etc.

Just love and laughs.

I am falling asleep typing

oh yeah.pics on the photoblog

Boss summoned me.

No more Tenacious D, sez he.

How could he?

Oh Tenacious what will I do without you to guide me through the day?

Apparently they are driving my colleagues into thinking they are aliens

I on the other hand already know that they are indeed

aliens

What next?

Will they ban coffee?

I will surely quit if they do.

Sperm Joose

Marigold, or one of them other juice brands

has got a new juice out

It's called "Apple n Aloe"

I know, you're thinking whit the flick?

But surprisingly, to the benefit of those of us adventurous ones who dare try it,

its pretty darn good.

chewy, spermy, jelly-like transparent bits

great with vodka or rum

Tastes a whole lot better than sperm fer sure!

and no, I am not their new spokesperson

An Alien Invasion!

Today an alien came and stood by our door

she did not know but I was watching her

As she stood there taking deep breathes

and trying to garner the courage

to come in and speak to

"Dragon Lady"(gayle)

I felt sad for our lonely little alien

yet terrified by the invasion

Ah Sweet Need

.Need.

Such a powerful emotion

An uber-strong tool, with wondrous results in the hands of the right person

Disastrous in the hands on the wrong.

Whats the difference between, want and need?

I want and Ipod.

I need coffee (or so I'd like to believe)

okay okay, I need to breathe to stay alive, lets say

There was a great debate yesterday, about relationships..or something

( come to think of it, I'm not sure how much it had to do with needs and wants)

anyway the convo, was

About hunting.

The thrill of the chase.

of baiting

and hooking

Until you know that you have that someone in your grasp

that you can twirl around your finger

that will drop anything for you if you so much as start to open your mouth to ask....

and then...

it just gets boring.

Any relationship, is a game,

you may claim that you don't play games, but honey, you already are.

And it's the way you play it, that will judge how long you stay in it.

As much as we'd like to not believe it, in most relationships, one person always has the upper hand, or it could be interchangeble between both.

One is a giver, the other a taker.

People in love, or infatuated, always tend to give in too much.

They make themselves too available, and thus the game is lost, for the other knows that they have you.

Has that happened to you before? One minute you had a person's complete attention and the next, it's gone?

Too much, too soon, too fast.

They know they've got you, so the thrill, the challenge, is gone.

Curb your hunger,love, need, your wanton lust.

Give in bits and pieces, always hold back, never give it all at once.

And your game will last longer.

The art is in always keeping people on their toes, always making them wonder.

That is of course until you guys pledge your undying love etc... then no need to play games already la.

God. I am becoming such a man.

But it is the hard truth of life. It happened to that girl in Hitch, and it was what Hitch tried to teach all those men, how to play the game right. Play it right and you hook for good. Play it wrong and you hook-up yes, but for how long?

Women need to be taught too.

A Chill Down My Spine

I was just blog surfing

when I came

across

the blog

of a girl

that sounds

so

eeriely

like mine.

From post titles

To subject matter

to links

and changing of font colour

to choice of words

and grammar

could it be?

that I have found me

a lone

blog-stalker?

flattered as I may be

I've found you

I understand that when you read someone else's writing just before you set out to write your own piece, you can inevitably be influenced by that person's writing

but

COME ON MAN!

Get your own ideas

develop your own style

Boggieversary!

I've just realised that I've been blogging for a year!

This calls for a drinking night out!! Hell, anything calls for a drinking night out!

So much has changed, so much has happended, for the better and for the worse.

Yet here I am...stronger, happier.

Yay! Happy Birthday to "Being Aja"!!

Blue sent me this picture of me dancing at the Claude Challe do last year. Minutes after, my ankle went CRACKkkkkkKK......it still feels weak now. Thank god there was bubbly. (gawd aja youre such a blonde..)

The Things We Do For Beauty

For the first time ever

I found myself alone in Little India today

In the scorching heat of the afternoon

all decked in black

ala Power/Sexy Office Woman

My beautician was on a lunch-break

*GasP!

"Beautician?In Little India?What on earth for?" I hear you ask..

Not telling, but if you ask me nicely, I'll show you.

And so while waiting for her, I sauntered around the shops.

I bought 40 coloured bangles for a ridiculously cheap price and contemplated many coloured tops.

Then I grimaced in pain for 20 minutes as the beautician messed with my face.

It was a pleasant cultural experience.

Little India has so much to offer.

If you can take holding your breath or just breathing through your mouth.

;)

Little India 

Clothes! Bah Who Needs Them?

We had the 'Nakedness' (refer to Gayle's blog) convo.

" Do a lot of people walk around naked in their homes, and on their balconies?" asks the Boss

"Well I do," sez I

" All the time?"

"Of course! I hate clothes!"

At which point his eyes pop out and roll across the table into my soup.

Gayle and I love terrorising our Bosses. They go to sleep muttering

" Remind me never to hire girls again....."

What is it with Penang girls?

I am still in agony.

Walking like there is an elephant between my legs

I also loathe Mondays.

Yesterday my cousin's boyfriend and I had an interesting conversation...

He said, " What is it with Penang girls and texting ah?"

It's true man, what is it with us?

My cousin and I can text a whole book, but when it comes to speaking to someone face to face or on the phone, I am at a complete and utter loss for words.

We rant, flirt, avoid,confront, through texts.

It is a serious problem.

What makes it worse, is that when I am speaking to someone, I know that I don't know what to say and thus try harder to think of something to say which makes it even harder and results in an even more 'blocked' mental block.

How now?

What has technology done to us? It has made non-personal contact communication soooo easy that we just don't know how to deal with face-to-face communication anymore.

What happened to the old days? When if there was a problem you sat a person down and talked face-to-face, when you wanted to discuss wants and needs and you speak.When if you were happy, you smiled, hugged.

Not send a smiley.

Now, it's text, text, text or email?Hell, even blog.

I mean for me its alright if someone calls to find out something, tell me something etc. But if someone calls to chat? Oh boy, now that's real pressure.

I guess it isn't that way with people that I know well, but with people I've just met, you know, you're in that-getting-to-know- you stage, they 'll call to chat and..

I'll be

stumped.

And they'll think that I 'm just some fucking brainless twit who has no ability to hold a conversation whatsover.

I really have to learn how to talk again, it's gotten so bad that I think I need a class.

and she said..." For all you know, they spent the night on both sides of the bed furiously texting each other..."

How to Talk to People Normally 1o1

Sign me up

I Want To Bear You Lots Of Little Ah Chuns...

The above would be the captions that The Boss, Gayle and I saw on the big-screen TV as we were walking out of our favourite Roast Duck Coffee Shop.

Fits of laughter ensued.

I mean like, who the fuck talks like that man?

My Boss reckons that Japanese/Korean/Taiwanese on-screen kisses always suck because the lack-of-nose makes it look like pancakes been squished together.

Not a pretty sight.

By golly, by gee, is that me? 

Jet Ski Agony

Who knew that racing full throttle over waves on a jet ski could cause one such excruciating agony?

This morning I woke and muscles I never knew existed in my body were burning with a depth and intensity that is impossible to explain when one has only had 5 hours of sleep and a throbbing hangover.

Last night, Vanessa and I partied at Chillout, doing our thang, shaking that thang. Having a ball of a time.

Can't really remember how much was consumed.

All I know is that we ended up on a trishaw ride in the heart of Georgetown at 3.30am with MatMotors racing around us in a terrifying manner as we strained into the phone to hear Denver chucking his guts out on some highway in KL.

Was good to know that we weren't that bad...

And after that, we still had the appetite to stop by at Tari's for Nasi Goreng Ikan Masin Special.

Yesterday I guess, was too good a day.

So today, I'm paying for it.

The End of the Day

The storm is coming in now,

after an afternoon of perfection

the clouds are rushing in fast

the wind is howling through the apartment

things are flying

doors are slamming

Outside

the clouds are an angry grey

The birds are twittering, rushing for shelter

where do the birds go?

Doesnt it make you wonder?

This day,

much reminds me of another,

a few weeks ago on a Sunday

On the last day of Blue's stay

When we took pictures of the storm

And when the rain came, May and I went to play

Before May and I went playing in the rain... 

As the storm came in on Blue's last day in Penang 

Baby Beach Bum

This morning dawned beautiful and sunny.

I was awoken by the shrill beeps of my phone, only to be told that they were only coming to get me in an hour.

Lemme-leh... then WTF wake me up so early?

DO I look like the sort of girl who takes ages to get ready?

Who's going to wear a full effing face of make-up to go jetskiing?

Who's gonna spend the better part of the morning counting my bloody pubic hair?

No. Not. Me.

I am quasi-hippie-biker-prissy-bitch-chick okay.

Must I keep telling you this over and over?

A good 45 extra minutes of extra shut-eye sucked down the drain.

Not only that! but they got my double-tall-vanilla-latte order wrong!

That is a crime! and it is catastrophe done upon thyself!

Don't mess with me and my morning caffiene.

EVER.

Oh, but despite those horrible starts.

'twas an oh-so-beautiful day

I couldnt help but smile

at the salty tang on my tongue

and the bright blue sky above me...

the wind rushing through my hair

the salt crusting on my skin

blobs of jellyfishing rushing by and daring me to go skinny-dipping

I rode like the champ that I am, though I can't say it did much for the horniness (post below).

We beached at a deserted bay, spent a few hours frolicking with abandon, rode back for a motherfucking expensive lunch at the Parkroyal Beach Bar, 400 bucks for 4, can you believe that?

Jesus.

This is Penang, its a beach bar, the hotel is hardly 5-star!

So then, on to the spa for a 2 hour massage. How do you tell a Chinese-Ed masseuse not to tweak your bones? I can't. Hell, I can't even explain it to an English-Ed masseuse, but i goddamn hate it when they bloody well tweak the bone or joints or whatever. They ALWAYS do that. DO you know what I mean? They do it to the bits inbetween your clavicles too.

And its motherfreaking agonizing.

Backhand her then she know!

Yet I take it,

being the strong quasi-hippie-biker-prissy-bitch-chick that I am.

But really.....

What a great day! Can't say I've had such a relaxing Saturday in the recent past..

Coffee is Dangerous

I'm so high on caffiene that my

ears are twitching

and my

eyes are blurring

Why is time ( tick...tick...tick...tick) moving at such an excruciatingly slow pace

today??

One hour away from the break of work and official start to the weekend.

Coffee should be banned.

Its effect on the likes of me is completely harmful.

Not forgetting when the likes of me are lacking in caffiene consumption and all hell breaks loose!

Imagine what it does when I am (more)HORMONAL(than normal)??

May the good lord save you

Horny as Fuck

My horniness has reached a level so high that I can no longer deny it

So why fucking bother?

Why not shout it off the mother fucking roof-top?

I

WANT

SEX

Behold the email that I wrote a close girlfriend early this morn and yesterday evening

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thusday, April 14

I'm effing horny ok.

need to be f******

Big time.

Friday, April 15

I'm still horny

Need to find me a permanent FB

in all ports

for me to berth my ship

when I need it

put the word out

but dont say who's looking

for a permanent FB

in all ports

requirements:

lenght,breadth and width

charm and good BO + MO

height and negative in Fat Department

forked tongue preferable

dancer will make me all the wetter

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

But please-oh-please-oh-please don't assume that just anybody has a chance of screwing me silly.

Just because I'm horny does not mean that I am not still picky or that my standards have dropped.

On the contrary, all that fantasising has sky-rocketted standards.

Gayle.Kat!!!!

Where is that goddamn Rabbit?

YesterdayI thought to myself

I can surely give up ciggarettes, but definately not coffee

but today i think

what the fuck are coffee and ciggarettes

compared to a

big

hard

schlong?

See now, this would not be a problem if I was a complete and utter slut. Then, I would just get riding anyone that knocks on the door (and there are many).

But no, that's not me.

I shall wallow in this agony.

Blast my conventional views

*shakes fists in frustration

*Due to overwhelming response, I have revised this post*

Tis Friday!

Friday! ah you've come again

Such a great day

Good ole Penang

This wonderful weekend

Tomorrow calls for...

some fun in the sun

For I will be going

On a Jet-Ski run

A beach BBQ

And a sun tan too

Completes the whole do

And so I ask thee....

In which other office can you:

• have a Boss that educates you on the words of Hokkien..which would today be 'laaa...chee'. Quaint Hokkien-ness for 'frenchkissing'.
• Blast Tenacious D all day long, have a complete effing riot while your colleagues singing along with you. *Motherfuckerrrrrrrrrr
• Be taking a stinking steamer when you realised you're out of toilet tissue and open the door and yell ' Gayllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeee I need tissue paper!!!' at the top of your lungs
• Smoke to your hearts content, and send the office boy down for more when you run out
• Decide which colours you want to paint your office walls
• Drink on the job ( because it promotes creativity...)

And thats just skimming the surface...I tell you, its like coming home.

I miss you Jamu... 

The Chronicles of a Mad Gay Guy

Foster says: Middle-Eastern men have the hardest shlongs...

I assure you, he has the experience to make such a comment. Pilots in departure lounges, hotel bars and cockpits..have shown him so...

Altogether Anal

I had dinner with one Father, one half-brother, and one-stepmother last night.

This is what we were.

Inching towards the SUV

A family of four

gingerly picking their way

across road and grass

avoiding the stuff

that comes out of a dog's arse

We are anal. All of us, in our own way. We are 6, 21, 33 and 52.

------------------------------------------------------

"Watch out for dog-shit," says Daddy, " No one gets into the car with dog-shit."

" No touching the tables, chairs, door-handles with your hands: GERMS!"

"I really hope you're not letting people sip from your straw at school, imagine the deseases you could catch"

" Oh, dear god, please don't sit on my bed in your outside clothes! Now I will have to change all the sheets, duvet and pillowcases!" (me!)

"Please open the door for me, I can't bear to touch the handle"

" Mummy, I'd rather fall off the escalator and break my nose than hold on"

" Smoke, someone is smoking! Gosh smokers are sooooo inconsiderate, if I were prime-minister I would pass a law to shoot all smokers immediately"

"You can wear your " inside-of-the-house" slippers out in the garden but please don't wear your "farther-outside-of-the-house-than-the-garden" slippers inside the house."

----------------------------------------------------------------

While we dined silently on white asparagus flown in from Germany, Frog's legs and Fried Chicken, I listed it out in my head.

All I really wanted right then was a ciggarette.

And yes, they know. This means my family will shoot me if the law is ever passed.

Anal-retentiveness is always thicker than blood.

She Says, He Says

Aja: You are a blonde with a hearing problem!

He: I'm a blonde with a hairy problem?

MuAhAHAhaHaaa

Deflecting Obvious Ignorance

While I went away for the weekend, I left my car with Gayle.

Upon my return, she had this to report.

"Babe, your car got no air-cond juice lah,

I was driving around the whole weekend, with the windows down, baking in your car!"

And so says I, " You sure not? did you put it on?"

"I tried everything la, cannot, no juice!"

I got into the car.

I put the engine on, I pressed the A/C button.

I played with the temperature slider.

Pretty soon, I was on my merry way with cool A/C blowing on my skin.

Gayle, you just have to press the button that says, ' A/C'.Yes you too, Slyvia.

So there!

I'm sick of ' You didn't know where to fill water in comments'.

There are others out there!

Of course I knew where to fill the water in, its just that the cap said DANGER..and I asked because I wanted to be sure.....

All Ready 

Almost Ready 

Finally Ready 

One 

Two 

Three 

Four 

Weekend in the Valley (again)

Vanessa's birthday was the reason (or excuse) of visiting the valley to party this time.

Since us girls are really quite crap and keeping secrets from each other , it wasn't hard for her to figure out the secret.

One of us let names slip out, and proceeded to cover with awkward mouth-coveringness

Another overdramatised by calling and complaining about not being able to come down

Yet another one of us, speedtyped a text message out and sent it to vanessa by mistake

( Aja, you stupid CoW!)

Some pics here, and the rest on my photoblog. Unfortunately Sunday lunch pics are still in Tracy's camera!

The Curse of the Pink Dress

You know that little ditty? goes like,

Gayle and Kat

Sitting on a tree

K-I-S-S-I-N-G

???

I now have my own

Vans and Aja sitting under a tree

C-U-R-S-I-N-G

Its Monday, blazing hot. The sun is reflecting of the highway making it seem like a long stretch of glinting broken glass.

*How does Aja have the time to notice these things when she's supposed to be hurtling down the highway towards work on that island gem of Penang?

We are standing on the highway shoulder, staring with disbelief and dismay at 'that thing' under the open hood of the car.

The Engine.

Unknown. Uncharted. Alien. Distant. Dark. Unexplained. Undiscovered.Unapprehended. Mysterious. Little Known.

'Whatchamacallit?' territory that is the very height of ignorance to two very intelligent brunettes who, at this very moment, feel very lost indeed.

" Aja, Where are we?"

Says Vans in the shrill, high-pitched tones that denotes one who is succumbing to panic.

" Don't worry babes, we are in Changkat Jering" says I.

HaH like that bloody well helps.The only reason I know we are at Changkat Jering is because I READ EVERYTHING. This includes all road signs.

Words are beacons of light in the dark tunnel that is my mind.

No one stops to help.

The car is massively overheated.

We are frantically calling all the manly men that we know for tele-life-saving chat called 'Cars 101'.

My x boyfriend drops the phone in a fit of laughter when I asked 'where do I fill the water in?'

Blue offers to bring the chopper around a take us for a Pangkor Laut rendezvous, but only after he has called us two dumb blondes standing on the side of the highway.

Adrian tells me to open the cap thingee with a thick cloth but, 'don't burn yourself!'

Sunny says, 'I need that jet-ski part'.

Feeling thoroughly dejected and alone. Vans and I make our way 500yrds across the sizzling hot tarmac, across mushy muddy grass, to take shelter under an ant infested tree. I take out a ciggarette. It is then, that we find out that our one and only lighter has ceased to work.

Ah a savior! A man has come (don't they always?taken both ways...)

He putters around under the hood, fills it with water.

There was alien talk about gaskets but it was established that it was not serious and soon we were on our merry way again!

It was the curse of the pink dress.You see, I was wearing this new pink dress, and the last time car shit like this happened to us, I was wearing a pink dress too.

Many of you may already know this story, when slightly less than a year ago, Tracy,Vans, May and I were enroute from Bar Savahn to Velvet afterVince's Champagne Party.

May said, " Turn into this alley"

Vans said, " Sure can go or not?"

May said, " If my Airtrek can go, your car surely can one"

CRRRRRRRRRaaaaacCcCCKkkkkkkkKK

*Aja gets out to inspect damage

The rusted zinc that someone had used to cover the drain had somehow torn of and wrapped itself around our rear wheel shaft, of which was still lodged firmly in the drain.

Aja says, " Girls, we have to get out and push"

Girls, " US? PUSH?"

And so it went. We pushed...bla bla bla.

Then, a man came.

Predicament Over.

No more pink dresses, at least not with cars, when there are no men around.

What men on secluded islands do on Saturday nights... 

Aja Ng

The name Aja

came from a song

that my parents listened to

before I was born

By a group

called Steely Dan

I 've never heard my song

nor have I heard of them

Where I want to be

Scorching hot

Out there in the day

Sunlight sizzles

Sharp, white pin-pricks of light

In blazing bright, blue

Skies

Freshly cut grass

Scents in the breeze

Makes me really

want

to sneeze

The tall green palms sway

Oh such a blowsy day!

I long to be out there

Warmth of rays and

salt of sea

wet

Feel it sting me

Sand on my skin

Sweat beading on my shin

Wind in my hair

Away

With despair

Sea,sun,sand 

An Ode For Aaron

Aaron is a real dear

I no longer think he's queer

He's so sweet

He stopped smoking those ciggarettes

that made me sick

And now he's going to burn

'Lost'

To satiate my yearn

I think I am in lurrrve

Becky,

Please don't be jealurrrzee!

Be Cool:Product of Fools

Unless you are a spineless twat lacking in social life and just life in general, I beseech you to please not waste your valuable time watching the very uncool movie called " Be Cool". Yes. thats the one with John Travolta and Uma Thurman, it is a complete and absolute waste of time.

Even typing derogatively about it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Do.NOT.Go.

One highlight though.It featured a little bit of:

Aerosmith.A band I had recently revisited.

Last week I had this strange urge to seek out and download all my old Aerosmith favorites, out of the blue it came to me, I had not listened to them since the times of Gary.

(haha isn't it weird how you can phase your life in order of boyfriends? Gary BTW, was first and longest)

So anyways, I'm happily downloading all the great songs, Crazy. Pink.Janie's Got A Gun. Falling in Love.Jaded. Mostly songs from Big Ones and Nine Lives. But I could not, simply could not get a proper download of one of the songs that I wanted the most.

It's called Ain't That A Bitch.

Finally, after 4 desperate hours, it came through.

How ironic that it was such an absolute bitch downloading Ain't That A Bitch.

Good song though.