Horny as Fuck

My horniness has reached a level so high that I can no longer deny it

So why fucking bother?

Why not shout it off the mother fucking roof-top?

I

WANT

SEX

Behold the email that I wrote a close girlfriend early this morn and yesterday evening

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Thusday, April 14

I'm effing horny ok.

need to be f******

Big time.

Friday, April 15

I'm still horny

Need to find me a permanent FB

in all ports

for me to berth my ship

when I need it

put the word out

but dont say who's looking

for a permanent FB

in all ports

requirements:

lenght,breadth and width

charm and good BO + MO

height and negative in Fat Department

forked tongue preferable

dancer will make me all the wetter

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But please-oh-please-oh-please don't assume that just anybody has a chance of screwing me silly.

Just because I'm horny does not mean that I am not still picky or that my standards have dropped.

On the contrary, all that fantasising has sky-rocketted standards.

Gayle.Kat!!!!

Where is that goddamn Rabbit?

YesterdayI thought to myself

I can surely give up ciggarettes, but definately not coffee

but today i think

what the fuck are coffee and ciggarettes

compared to a

big

hard

schlong?

See now, this would not be a problem if I was a complete and utter slut. Then, I would just get riding anyone that knocks on the door (and there are many).

But no, that's not me.

I shall wallow in this agony.

Blast my conventional views

*shakes fists in frustration

*Due to overwhelming response, I have revised this post*