Rolling In The Ritz

You recall, a few weeks ago
a quarter of my dysfunctional family
and I
headed to KL for
a weekend at the Ritz?

Well there was something
that I didn't blog about
beause it was just
too darn traumatic.

I'm over it now.

I'm lolling about in the bathtub
Melissa is a duvet-roll in bed

A frantic banging (or ringing I don't remember)
fills the room
Melissa sleeps like the dead
So finally, covered in suds
I run out

"What?" I glower
at my aunt Nat, standing at the door.
Behind her
my other cousin looks on
as if waiting for something to happen

" Aja, will you do me a favour?"

I already know this is bad
I leave the door wide open
and slowly back into the room
"Nooooo" I holler
"Go away!"

"But I haven't even asked you yet" she pleads

"Its okay, the answer is 'no'"

She pleads for me to listen
finally I relent
"Will you please smell my armpits and tell me if they are smelly?"

"Whaaaaaatt? No bloody way!"

"Please!" she pleads on her knees
her arms are thrown high in the air.

"I just stopped using deodorant a few days ago,
and normally when you stop
you get bad B.O., but people can't smell their own,
so I need your help"

She tells me that my cousin Deanna and other aunt Pat
said 'No'
so, Melissa and I were the last resort.

"No' I say again, doubled over on the carpet

I'm laughing so much it hurts
Deanna is in the corridor on the floor as well
Melissa won't even peek out
but she is a lump of quivering jelly under the covers
aunty pat had locked Nat out of their room

Hmmmph smell her armpits, can you believe the nerve?
In the end I had to pretend to do it
to keep her quiet
we were already making too much of a racket
and the sight of her on her knees
with her arms thrown up
was just too much.

It was the Ritz for chrissake. Ah yes,
the pleasures of a serani family.