Wednesday, September 07, 2005

If You Cannot Speak Properly Dont Answer The Goddamn Phone

Why oh why oh why
does my boss force me
to make calls to these fucking
sales and marketing
cunts
who can neither speak nor understand English
yet pretend that they do?
WHY?

Its Wednesday, for chrissakes
these things are meant for Monday
All they can say is
'Plis', 'escuse me' and 'I chek fo yewl'

'Eccuse me' comes most often
even when I speak very slowly, clearly and crisply

"Escuse me?" she goes
I then resort to speaking even more slowly,
painstakingly enuciating each syllable
so slow, that I want to slap myself and yell "Wake up!"

"Escuse me?"
Whoopee! Its like a merry-go-round
and if I had the time and patience
I could actually say something completely different
after each 'escuse me?'

But I don't.
I just resort to cave talk after the third one.

In fact, I am actually typing this while speaking to one of them
I don't even have to think before I speak
I can practically cue when I will next have to repeat myself
in pigeon-talk.
"Cost?", "How much money?" I grunt

"Yewl hang on plis, I chek fo yewl"




4 comments:

Unknown said...

LOL

At least you don't get the ass-squeeze me types. One of these I just might. :P

Anonymous said...

Ah, that's what a client once told a friend of mine after he called me on the phone and tried to converse in Hokkien. He found out that my Hokkien was as bad as his English so we ended up speaking in BM - the language, not the place.

Eaglet said...

tiger: one day you should

des:yes yes lol, would have asked what you were doing there!

Edgar "Jobe" Gasper said...

I can understand hokkien fine, but cant speak the bloody language to save my life.

You should check it out when me and my regular fishing boat tekkong get at it! he tries english occasionally, and i try gibberish (my hokkien)...i swear. some of the other guys on the boat looked like they were fighting the urge to stick sotong in their ears...

*blog inspired*
:D