The Thing About Chill Con Carne...

...is...
man does it make you fart something fierce.

He Says, She Says

I'm thinking of this post, when I say
to him:
"Do you ever get lonely?you know, when you're lying in bed alone
just wishing there was someone to spoon you,
whom you're that comfortable with, around?

You know what I mean?"

He: "Yeah I know exactly what you mean."
*thinks for a moment*
"But when that happens, I just
wank
and its all better"


Jeeeezzzzzzzzz

Just Too Damned Disturbing!

I Am Without Words!

Johnson is now One.
He is the most wonderful creature in the world.
Last night, as is usual when I 'm feeling out of sorts
I cooked chilli con carne
basking in the familiarity
of routine

I sat down to watch the 25th Hour again
I remember the first time I saw in
on a stifling summer day
in Vienna

And I still think its one of the most awesome
films ever
Edward Norton and Spike Lee rock!

Last night it was as if Johnson knew
something was up
he lay his cheek on mine
gazing at me with his big brown eyes
"Momma is you hokay?"
he seemed to ask
as he licked my chin with his warm wet tongue.

Pure, unaduItered love.
I love my dog.

All About My Day

Dear ****************,

I'm so frustrated and thus I will vent. to you. through email.
Because you have abandoned me and are not here.
and are probably caught in the rain somewhere with a big black bag.

I'm frustrated because before The Boss left,
do you know how many times I went to him
and said," you're going, you have to brief me before you leave.."
"give me instructions, let me know whats going on, who the clients are, what jobs are pending" etc.
"keep me in the loop, so everything runs smoothly, so that I know.."

But did he? No. "The Other Boss will brief you" he said.

and now The Other Boss assumes that I know what to do
when I don't.

I know neither head nor tail of this whole 35th anniversary book thingy
because no one briefed me on what to expect,
pictures,text, facts, what goes where, and how.

so how do you start, when you don't know what has been done, what is coming?
how do you start when you know not where to start?

phew.done.venting.

actually not done.
I just want to bang my head on the table.
or throw something. or smash the screen.

maybe i need anger management.
maybe I need some ice-cream.

For the first time in weeks, I really really really
really really really feel like a cigarette. But of course I'm not having one.
The office smells really nice today with the aromatheraphy thing going.
Not about to change that.


As for the Mall People,
I just told them that the 'refresh with new look' is very generic tagline,
moreover, it's incorrect.
should be 'refreshed!with a new look!' which is as ah lien as you can get.

oh course i didnt mention the ah lien bit.

so now i'm done. for now.

Loneliness, Why Do You Eat Me

Sometimes I lie in my bed alone and stare up at the ceiling
so desperately lonely
bearing an emptiness so intense
that my heart aches for somebody,
anybody.

Then I scroll through my address book
stop and hesitate at potential names
all it takes is an sms
a phonecall

Yet I don't.

Because when I think of everything that it will take
to get to where I want to be
(which is at a comfort level,
where i can just lie in his arms and not have to say a word)
I give up.
I give up, before I've even tried.

Because the thought of
making small talk
getting to know someone again
having to worry about things stuck between my teeth
or
exposing my flaws too soon

the thought of playing the cat and mouse game
stopping myself from picking up the phone to excitedly call
playing it cool
doing that whole pride thing

it just tires me out
the very thought

I want so desperately to find someone that
I can bare my heart to
lay my soul open
that wont play games with me

yet I know so well that
as simple as those requests may sound
they never are
everyone plays a different game
and creating a bond takes so much work

work that I am not willing,
or too afraid
to put effort into.

So I suffer in silence
I bear the loneliness
plodding on alone in bleakness
I distract myself with writing
with friends
with movies
I convince myself that my time will come
and I know it will
the question is, when?

The void of longing grows
the chasm widens
my soul grows so hungry
that it eats away at my heart
tearing my hair out
in an empty room

I know that I am not the only one
in this sea of lonely hearts
searching for a light
to guide them home

I know that there are so many like me
who make excuses to stay in isolation each day
choosing silent desolation
because we're too lazy to get-to-know
too afraid to deal with the consequences of starting something new
too afraid to risk our hearts
too selfish to take on the responsibility of someone else's heart

if all it takes is one phone call
one try
so why is it so hard?

Where I WIsh I Was Right Now

This is where I spent last Sunday
This is where I wish I was today

I havent blogged
because
I promised myself I wouldn't
til I had gotten all my work done

My Boss has gone away for
two weeks
thats two weeks of work
on top of my work
for me.
Not very relaxed.

I wore my 'eager beaver' t-shirt
yesterday.
No one reacts to it.

Tomorrow(or soon)
I will write about an MSN conversation I had today
on love, trust and letting go
ohhh and sheer stupidity.

Yesterday Someone Really Pissed Me Off

After I frolicked in the sea
I came back to a few sms-es
just waiting for me

two were from the BAT guy
who had asked me to give them a contact list for the party

the first one said
something along the lines of
"being quoted as kiam siap on national newspaper, brilliant!"

He obviously
a) didnt read the article
b) read it but is not mature enough to understand nor does he posses
a sense of humour

so I replied something very haha tra la la
but then I read the second message from him
that was to someone else
about me
basically saying my friends and I were freeloaders
and that I was acting like a real hostess(not the cupcake)
at their party

So I was like 'what the fuck?'
you throw a free party and then you complain that people
come?
and its not as though they didnt buy any of your shit
(but I can tell you now the most certainly wont be buying anymore)

you ask me to invite my friends there
35 of them come, of course I have to go around and say hi right?

Then I text him forwarding the missent text
telling him the article was a candid, humourous take
on stretching the ringgit
and I had thought he had the maturity and sense of humour to accept it

above all that, he should have been professional enough
to not badmouth guests at the party
that he did not know in person
and who write for the media

Stupid or not?
Tell me something la
you think Dunhill would be very thrilled if they
knew one of their representatives was so dumb?
badmouthing writers.

Good call, especially with the fragile situation
that ciggarette companies are facing now

I have his name, his number and his text

and he had the gall to sms some
smart aleck apology then say
that the newspapers hadnt portrayed us properly
(as in they toned us down)

so I told him
very nicely
to have some tact next time
and that his spreading disparaging remarks
doesnt reflect well on me
and I doubt that Dunhill would appreciate it if
they knew that their staff was bad mouthing
people who attended their party

He said 'fair deal'.

May and a few others say I'm too nice
that I should have taken his job and rep down
one person to represent one company
is that fair?

I dunno.
But the motherfucker really screwed up my Sunday.

One For Now

It's Sunday And I Am Not Shaving

I write this while I await

a lift

to a boat

that will take me to Muka Head

and there I will while away my Sunday

by sand and by sea.

There's a slight stubble

on my shins

but like I said

Fuck that, its Sunday.

Yesterday Was A Very Special Day

It was a very special day

because for the very first time in my life

two weeks shy of twenty-two,

I awoke at six thirty am

from being passed out cold on the bathroom floor

the tile pattern embedded in my cheek

a few winey strands of chuck

caking my hair

still in my new 400 dollar dress

When I told May

she laughed til her sides hurt

she laughed so much I wanted to slap her

"Imagine you, prissy Aja, passed out on the toilet floor

in her flowy dress"

and later on, she proceeded to tell everyone

she crossed paths with

so I had to say it here.

Then we both agreed it would have made an awesome picture

maybe we'll reenact it.

So I guess in that respect,

the Dunhill party was a blast.

So many people to see

so much free alcohol

Bumped into Tina, asked her how come she was there

then she gave me this look

and said

"You invited me"

Ooops

Bumped into my ex

all suave in his suit

"stripes and stripes don't go sweetheart"

was what I said

He then proceeded to give me

too much information

on his new relationship

gag

The Dunhill people

told me that they weren't happy

cos the Penang crowd was not responding

anywhere close to how the KL crowd did

I said " Next time, make sure there's food,

Penang is all about free food, drinks not enough"

All in all though, I still preferred last year's.

To my defense ,

I wouldnt have gotten so

supremely sloshed

at the party

had I eaten more than one shrimp for dinner

and had I not chosen to act all macho

and gulp down the beer proffered

when the wine ran out..

when I awoke at half six

disgusted at myself

I had a hot shower

made me some tomyam mee

and tucked myself up in bed

with episode one of season three

of nip/tuck

Christian, I'm glad you're back.

I then fell asleep for an hour and a half

then got up and went to work for two hours!

ha, beat that bitch.

oh by the way,

no show down.

Obviously the ho just didn't make the cut.

Will Dunhill Let Us Down?

The party starts in three hours.

Woo Hoo can't wait.

Will be even better if we see the skanky ho
numerous forms of retaliation have been emailed to and fro
for the last 4 hours
between 7 people
some are really good.

____________________________

Last night I bought a 900RM cheongsam
in my dreams
but it really does exist and is to die for
but I really couldnt justify it.

_______________________________

Early this morning,
I almost peed in my bed
it was about seven am
I dreamt I was already in the loo
then woke up when it started to get a wee bit
warm in between the legs

Shhhhh...don't tell anyone k

Bedtime With Aja

Last night as I twirled about the living room
sucking lemon custard from the tub
and feeling the flecks of zest on my tongue
with my two brothers

I caught sight of something
that stopped me in my tracks

Displayed on the piano
were 3 Mid-Autumn Festival lanterns
you know, the colourful ones made with
twine and coloured plastic panels?

they sent a twinge straight to my heart
taking me back to a memory
15 (gawd I 'm that fucking old) years ago

Sit down my children, and I shall tell you a story.

Way back in 1990, I joined a lantern-making competition.
I was seven and though mommy wanted to help me make it
the rules said that it was a 'children's' lantern making contest
and I was adamant to follow the rules.

So I made my little lantern
as best I could
a little rooster, misshapen and nowhere near as colourful
as those sold at the market

We turned up on competition day
mother and I
and to my utter disappointment
every single one of them
had professional looking lanterns
of various shapes, colours, sizes
there was even a dragon

I remember that night vividly
How I hungered to fit in

How I somehow decided it was my mother's fault that I had refused her help
I remember how we were all walking in a group
mothers and children
displaying our creations

I remember how the clouds started to gather overhead
and omnious gray, the sudden wind, the goosebumps on my skin

I remember running with the other children
when the first fat droplets burst on my cheeks

I remember my mother telling me not to run
and me in my great defiance
running even faster

I remember how she gave chase after me
on the dusty street, strewn with little rocks

I remember turning around
just in time
to see her stumble and then fall,
hitting the ground

then I remember the mortification bloom and spread like wildfire in my chest
my heart breaking as i ran towards her
tears streaming down my face
feeling like she was going to die and it was all because of me

I got to her, clung on
my face wet with tears
worry and sorrow furrowing my brow

My mother suffered a pair of skinned knees
I learnt to always listen to the people I love

Oops. realised the title to this post is missing a 'stories'.
(=

Aw Shucks

Yesterday, something fell down
and Gabe, dear Gabe,
said, "Shucks"

"What did you say?" I asked thinking I heard wrong

"Shucks. I said shucks"

"Like, aw shucks?"

Poor Gabe. He's an innocent.
Pious, naive, honest and incredibly sweet.

The type that'll say " Yes, you look fat,"
but says it so unequivocally that there's no way you could hold it against him.

He works in such close proximity with two people
who use the word 'fuck' as punctuation
one serani, one half
who discuss the texture and density of their shit
when they're done with the office toilet

I don't know which of us feels worse.

A Drink or a Story?

Yesterday in an email thread with May and Butta
(the very Butta who's womb sheilds my god-daughter Trinity)

I addressed May individually:
"Tonight, CHIC, one-for-one cocktails"

Butta butts in:
"Don't talk about cocktails la, I can't indulge"

Me:
"Well babes, would you rather hear some 'cock'- tales?

Thanks Ah Beng

Thanks to kokmastermeng
I have just found out
that my ex is 'seeing'
my friend's younger sister
whhhhhhhhhhhaaaaa???
The kid must still be in highschool la dey

Maria Kerry

I really enjoyed Peter's review on the MTV Awards
Its an interesting take so go see
especially about not buying into the culture
one thing I found hilarious is
how he spells everything as how it would
sound if said with a scottish brogue

A Little Bit On The Side...

The other day, someone wanted to go home
and lie in my bed with me
(as they often do)

I said no.
No, because:

1. eventhough I had once laid in bed with that person, our time had passed

2. he shouldn't expect that just because he wanted to, I would want to
(if you don't greatly invest in the foreplay, don't expect great returns...
and then there's that whole discussion on when exactly foreplay comes into play,
but thats a whole other discussion)

3. Because he had recently started going out with a girl that he
had been relentlessly pursuing for months
and
is incredibly happy with.

The third point being the highlight of today's gripe.
Some people have the innate ability to screw up
what they worked so hard to get in
5 minutes of non-thought.

Some think they are invincible,
or fail to think at all
and then fate turns around
and gives them a fierce kick in the balls
and they fall, realising they are human
and wonder how on earth
they could even have thought otherwise.

Because what goes around, comes around.

I said no, not because I didn't want him to be around
but
because I didn't want to be the other woman
I didn't want him to regret it
and if he was momentarily blinded and couldn't see
that he was stupid to jeopardise his relationship
then, I would guide him.

This was also a revelation to me
because I think that at one stage in my life
I would have lured him away from the other woman
just to prove that I could,
to myself, to her, to him
because I was a bitch.
(not that I've done that to someone else's boyfriend before
but to someone caught in between)

But I've mellowed down a lot
become a lot more rational
and started to look at the bigger picture

Enough about me though.
Men and cheating, or cheating in general
why do people cheat?

Selfishness, thoughtlessness,
lack of foresight
because they can
and because they are (think they are)unable to resist chemistry when it happens.

There are two types of cheaters
the type that cheat even though they love
and will regret it later
and the type that cheat because they just don't give a shit

My ex cheated on me for a year with his ex girlfriend
and because what goes around comes around
he crashed his beloved bike to kingdom come
after boning her on her birthday
and she took him to the hospital
and I met her in pretense of saying thank-you
and he walked in on us getting-to-know-each-other
(a.k.a. throwing liquor bottles against the far wall)
and his reaction pissed her off so much
that she told me the truth.

To be fair, I had cheated on two occasions(nights though, not year) too.

I didn't leave him
I stayed and made him suffer for a year
I piled on the guilt
Until one day I met someone
sparks flew
and then somehow, we were even

It took me a long time to get into
his psyche
to disconnect and analyse the differences between
him cheating
and me cheating.

He did it because he could
because it was no-strings-attached sex
because it stroked his ego
and because of the thrill

Meaning-less sex
is something that alot of women
have alot of trouble coming to terms with
because alot of women
become emotionally attached when physically involved
and don't see how men can do it any other way
I read about it, saw it in TV
but could never fathom it
until I experienced some form of it.

Anyways, back then, I cheated because I was a sucker for sparks.
For me, chemistry was so hard to find
that I pounced on it when it did happen
allowed feelings to come into the equation.

I always believed that
chemistry = the love of your life
then, as one relationship overlapped into the other
and I kept feeling sparks here and there
I realised that if I followed the sparks
I would just keep jumping
and would never settle down.

There is no 'the one'.

but there is one of 'the one' s
that you conciously decide to make
'the only one'.

When you make someone 'the only one'
you do it with full knowledge
that temptation is
without a doubt going to come a-knocking
again and again
someone else is going to cause thrills to run down your spine
eventually
you are going to meet someone
whose gaze will electrify you
and who's smile will make your day
but because you already made a decision
on 'the only one'
you will try your damndest to take a step back
turn around and go home.

But of course, in moments of heat
people are blinded
don't say no, then regret
that is where the strong understanding spouse comes in
to hold what they have together
to realise that everyone makes mistakes
to forgive, and try and forget and start over.

Love is about making it work, building so much with someone
that when temptation comes around, no matter how strong
you will weigh the pros and cons
and realise that what you built outweighs it

Someone asked me the other day
whether its all fresh air and sunshine
and I said 'no, it's not'

It worried me so much to say that
had I become too jaded?
where had my sentimental, romantic nature gone?
But you know what?
you can still be romantic and idealistic, just be so within the realms of reality.

It's more than love
its a partnership,
you will have to compromise, give in,
be prepared work hard at keeping it together

if you havent got that patience, then you're not ready
but if you give so much that it tires you out
and you resent it,
then you're in a rut.

The rut is another issue:
So many people are in one
unhappy, resentful
but too afraid to start a fresh
after such a long time in a rut
So they spend their time
trying to psycho themselves into believing
that that is all there is.

It isn't.

Png's Efforts to Teach Me How to Dance were that Hilarious

Joe Once Got Me The Most Drunk I've Been In My Life

Dee and I Get Close

I Don't Look Like Me

Mo and I

Been A Long Time...

Good Lola Ad

Stop Right Now!

May, Szuf, Ville

I only see Adrian about twice a year, look what he does..

My Milk Cow and I

Why is His Tongue Yellow?

See, So Cruel, Just Ask Me To Come and Be the Photographer

Crazy Serani Bunch

The 'concepts' crew

May Is A Real Woman

May is a real woman because last week she came to pick me up for a quick coffee-break-on-a-non-break-hour

I swung out of the office door
just in time to see her exercising her side parking skills
where she nudged the car behind her

"Babe, you banged the car at the back, but its all good"
I say, when I step into the car
"I know" she says, as though its a normal occurance

So then she turns the wheel to get out of the space.
in front of the car,
is a long row, of about a gazillion motorbikes
she nudges the first one
I gape in silent horror as that one falls over onto the next one

Bloody hell. Lucky bitch. Only two toppled.
I was soooo expecting the domino effect.

Guess who had to go and pick the bikes up?

I loved Tiger's 'Torn' post today
fucking hilarious.

4am Shorts

I had thought that this weekend on the island

would be a lazy,relaxing one

with me catching up on work

and snoozing off at anytime

that felt right.

who would have known that fate had other plans

for me.

The appearance of an old buddy Joe

his girlfriend Dee and uncle P'ng

kept me out till 5 am yesterday

I'm amazed that I even kept up with them

being the seasoned, hardcore drinkers that they are

I got home, watched the last of the O.C season II

and finally got some shut-eye

just as the sun rose

I awoke at 10 to the incessant banging

on my wall

courtesy of the construction next door

I then lay in bed

drifting in and out of slumber

for a full 6 hours

contemplating murder in my moments of lucidity

Had to drag myself out of bed at 4

for at 4 15 I had to leave for a food review

with 6 men in tight pants

all discussing media and finance

_____________________

funny how a hobby becomes tiresome when it becomes work.

like doing food reviews

________________________

this weekend, two phases of my past

tempted me

I'm glad to report I resisted temptation

________________________

I have deduced that infatuation

makes you do/say stupid things

happens when most unexpected

and you're unable to dismiss it

eventhough you know it is really, quite ridiculous

______________________

I fear all this clubbing is wearing me thin

yet, when I am in Penang, I hardly club

I supposed this weekend 'people' were around

_______________________

And this, is one of those weekends

that whizz past

next thing you know,

its moaning monday

and it will be like there never was a weekend.

Think about it

work as soon as I wake

get home,get changed

meet friends at Bagan

then on to the next lot at Glo

then SS

then supper

and here I am blogging

I swear tomorrow I will rest

I should switch my phone off..

one day.

_______________________

Something I also realised

in the wee hours of this morning:

I dont do well with confrontations

they scare me to bits

unless it's me looking for one

(=

Just had an experience

and took off for the hills!

______________________

there are pictures off course, but cant be arsed to post.

will do it on Moaning Monday.

Crazy pictures with those serani people!

who drink like fish

and always have a

laugh

sometimes I wish I wasnt so disciplined.

Me And My Buttons

the Dunhill Party next weekend
is going to be real swank
the invite says slinky formal or elegant slinky
or something all wurdy-gurdy like that
fine wines, free cigarettes
tho this year is just Reshmonu and Desire
I kinda preferred last years line-up
all jazzy swank ning and hor d ouvres

so anyways, I put 15 people on my contact list
and each gets to bring one person
but a few cannot come
so if any of you are up for it
next Friday night...
let me know
quick

Operation Save Money

The other day
after some urgent financial probing
not just my own
but my friends too,
thanks to May and her statement
" Robert T Kiyo-whatchamacallit says people like us will never be rich babe"

I came up with Operation Save Money
(and Operation Spend Other People's Money,
but we won't talk about that here)

One of the points in OSM
was to walk more
since the city is making more of an effort
to pedestri-fy our streets,
and I'm trying to beat the road-clog
and save on fuel.

So just now, I walked.
In the sweltering mid-day heat
The sun beat down upon me
the breeze fluttered through the leaves on the trees
the buses zoomed an inch past me
the ais kacang man raised his hand

and when I finally reached the cool portals of the BCB
the staff made me wait
for a very long while
and when they finally served me
I had to re-wait
because someone somewhere had screwed up something
(I cant say incase someone reads and finds out)

The staff ignored me,
eventhough I stood alone
in the very middle of their service area
in my (aunts) bright orange sweat shirt
pretending to be a weeping willow tree.

I believe I went off tangent.
The point was that I set the OSM ball rolling by walking!

Yet Another Confession

Yesterday, though sick I went to watch Mel C perform
needless to say the occasion
will not make the list of
Top Ten Best Nights in My Life
it will not make it in a big way.

Mel C, if you don't know who she is,
is a former Spice Girl
a.k.a Sporty Spice
Sporty however, didnt look too sporty
but I must compliment her on
the effort she's taken to look more feminine
as opposed to the very butch look
she favoured wayyy back in the 90s

many credit her as the one Spice Girl
who could really sing
Personally, I always found her voice
a bit too thin and shrill
(it still is)
but what do I know?

I went for work
for alcohol
and because she once collaborated with
Lisa Left-Eye Lopes (who has since kicked-the-bucket)
I was/am a big fan of Lisa
and TLC, during their
CrazySexyCool Days

Guess who it was sponsored by...

Testosterone Is Not Happy With Me

But I don't care.

For the past two days
I have been out working
with four men
who spoke about nothing
but cameras, and other more complicated tech/web-talk
that
my brain refuses to absorb.

the testosterone was so thick in the air
I could have
served up a slice

So, today we are all back in the office
and I have some semblance of
my voice back

So I've got my headphones on full blast
singing to Travis's Why Does It Always Rain On Me
They are trying to have a meeting
and keep casting irritated stares in my direction

Finally,
the stares get too sharp to ignore
"Sorry," I say lifting a headphone off my ear

"It's just that my voice is nearly back to normal,
and I havent been able to sing in a week,
I'm really happy it's back!"

"Well we're not" says Ian
giving me that look.

Is This A Sick Joke

Aaron comes into the office
bearing a blue and white
can of delights

a quick flick of his wrist shows me
that its coffee-in-a-can Now I 'm not exactly a purveyor of
premixed canned coffees
so naturally, I don't jump when
he snaps the top open with a sharp hiss and
thrusts it in my face

"taste this", he orders
"er, I can't taste" I say, snivelling
"Yes, you can, taste it"

and because I'm a lover, not at fighter,
I did.

It was delicious.
Smooth, thick chocolatey creamy coolness
sliding down my sore throat
it was like taking a big gulp from Mr. Wonka himself's
Magical Chocolate River
(or at least that's what I imagined it to be,
since my tastebuds aren't too trusty these days)

Confession

Lately, I've been attracted to guys who
in May's words are "So not your type, babe"
(said with an incredulous look)

By 'not-my-type'
she means the damn preppie
quiet, innocent
stable, cute, shy
(not necessarily all of the above)
type

I think the mothers should be breaking out
their guns right about now.

Bare Weeth Mee

Yes, I know I haven't been replying
emails
or smses
or comments
and
phonecalls

but I've been sick
and busy
and I'm slowly getting around to it all
promise
once all the work is done and deadlines are met.

I hate the fact that I have no voice and can't sing while
I drive
it's so boring
sitting alone in silence with myself

anyways, I'll leave you with some
r.a.n.d.o.m. p.i.c.t.u.r.e.s.

of a hundred pretty burds(non-human) all in a row
courtesy of the north-south highway
and the Potty Gold Service Center
plus
a random few from daddy's lovely lily patch

What Everywoman Needs

The other day
I was sitting in Ikea
with Butta and my yet-to-be-born godchild
slowly making my way through

Roasted Chicken
Meatballs
Poached Salmon
and
Shrimp Toast

My ex had gotten tired of watching me eat
and ventured of in the jungles of Ikea alone
2 minutes later, I get a text

"I'm hyperventilating, I want everything!
I had to sit down because I was weak with excitement"

I told him Butta would get tired walking
(he wanted my expert opinion)
he said he would get her a wheelchair.

I know,its Ikea, its not so bad.
Be he gets excited over any type of shopping

The previous day we had spent at Low Yat Plaza,
which for me, was the equivalent of
a guy going into a Maggie T superstore
2 hours for one floor man.

So I spent my time
agging realclose to him
singing loudly in made-up chinese at random intervals
threatening to sit crossed legged on the floor like a real bangla
mimicking his gestures
and asking dumb blonde questions
(why is that TV called a monitor when it's just a TV?)

until he got really embarassed and hauled my arse out of there.

The handful of boutiques
in LYP displayed the sort of fashion sense
that made me want to kill myself.

urgh.