"The Most Heavenly Chocolate On Planet Earth"

Is Green & Blacks claim
I sit here devouring their organic almond 'cocoa rich' bar
and have to agree

I think I am PMS-ing
my ovaries feel like someone punched them
and I feel dreadfully ugly and hate my hair.

Oh did I tell you?
I was walking around in Bayswater last week
and this guy (Marco/Marcel?) approached me and asked me
if I wanted to be a Vidal Sassoon hair model

Its not so much 'modeling',
nor is it being a guinea piglet
its just that you have to sit there and be patient
while extremely slow trainees do your hair

I said okay, I mean, my hair is already short
and I figured that the holes from butchering off my extensions
would give them a challenge
what could possibly go wrong right?

Wrong.
They cut off my sideburns.
Big big mistake.
With hair as short as mine, long sideburns
are a must to look feminine
now I look like a butch
and yet, ironically, everyone tells me that the hair cut
is perfect.

Not perfect for me, just perfect.

Yup, PMS for sure.