Found an old pic..nice! 

Two(to) Aussie Men

It's not often that two complete strangers(to each other), from the same country, ask me the same question, on the same day.

"Why did you not mention me on your blog?"

I decided to oblige. Below, two odes.

One for Sam and one for Fluff.

P.S. Do you people ever read the comments on my blog? Most interesting (to put it mildly) I doubt other people get such wacky comments on their blogs!

Of Fluff

There once was a guy

who was cute enough,

But his hair looked like it belonged

on someone's muff,

So then he told me

his name was ' fluff '

I tried very hard

not to laugh

But man I tell you,

That was tough!

Sam n May,Bangkok 

Brewster the Man!

My mate Sam ( who's quite the stud)

Loves his girlfriend with all his heart

He took her on a holiday to Thailand

And made her sigh " gosh, what a man!"

She had so much fun

Out there in the sun

Watching girls blow darts like pros

And now all she can say is " When can we all go?"

And thanks to Sam,she loves him so

tremors

fuckin hell i just felt the tremors.

it was really bad.

my room was wobbling like jelly.

everyone ran out of the building.

phone network jammed.

cant find anything on the goddamn news.

Inspired by Bangkok

May has just returned from Bangkok

her blow-by-blow account of the live shows she attended inspired me to come up with a new 'term'.

As opposed to contortist, we now have...

-Cuntartist-

Is that genius or what? I shall not explain further.

Frazzled

I rock at TABOO! had some wholesome fun with a few cute english kids before going out last night.felt good.

Last night we hit LUSH because it was, for the first time, featuring DJ Pat! Cosmos, girlfriends, and good music,(not to mention great dance partners) translates into the perfect wind-me-down after a crazy week's work.

check more of the pics out at www.smorephotos.blogspot.com

My weekend is crazy. I overbooked my appointments, overlapping.Sucks cos its supposed to be quiet, 'me' time, but instead am getting a headache trying to juggle things back and forth.

blerrhhh.

On a night out, all a girl needs are: Cosmo.Malboro Lights.Mobile Phone. 

A definate clubbing essential... 

Girlfriends... 

My Little Milk Cow 

Random Shrandom

I remember (through a groggy bubbly induced haze) at the Moet do

I needed badly to go to the loo

I walked in, and there splayed invitingly over the lounges and mirrors

were about 5 gorgeous girls

all manicured and groomed to perfection

a regular Ms Malaysia exhibition

Sigh.....what has competition become today?

Looney

This has got to stop.

I must stop smiling like a lunatic.

You must stop doing this to me.

I was walking the aisles of Giant and grinning like a lunatic and..

people .were. staring.

It fucking ridiculous! (said with that accent)

A Pleasant Encounter

Aja hates.....most of the service industry here.

Fucking smile for god's sake.

It is your job to grit your teeth and bloody well smile even if I ask you to scrape green gunky shit off my toenails with your teeth.

Be nice. This is your goddamn job.

You are supposed to be kind, helpful, polite, gracious and accomodating to me, the guest/customer.

Stop acting like you're doing me a goddamn favor when you're doing what's required of you to keep your fat arse on the payroll.

Come on, someone has to agree with me that the service at hotels, restaurants and shops in this country sucks in a big way.Why? Aren't us Malaysians supposed to be friendly?

If you were the employer, why in hell would you hire terrible staff that pontentially screw your business up?Fuckin Genius.

This brings me to my pleaasant surprise, as I was leaving the Continental Bakery (post below), the girl at the cash register called me back,"Miss, be sure to hold your bag tightly incase someone tries to grab it"

I was blown away (she actually spoke in broken English, which makes it all the more surprising).

Once in awhile, these great little things creep in on your day, but the fact is, should we actually have to be pleasantly surprised at sales people treating us nice?

isn't that how it should be all the time?

The First Bite is the deepest......

Le Croissant

Coffee, Croissants,Computer....what more does a girl need?

The Gripes

I have got "the gripes".

This happens when I have an intense craving for something and cannot find it here.

You see, when you're PMS-ing (yes, finally!, not on the exact date as Gayle, but almost!),

you need to satiate those cravings or you're fucked.

I had major major cravings for a proper,proper chocolate croissant, and when my plans to import from Pangkor Laut Resort fell through, I was desolate.

Ah but god is kind!(especially to nice people)

I went to Giant this morning in search for Kraft Ranch Dressing, to no avail. I became addicted to this shit in Canada, and only found it ONCE here, which makes it even worse because you know its there but eluding you.

So no dressing.I swung by the Continental Bakery for their version on Apple Strudel ( it starts with a layer of rich chocolate cake, topped with creamy vanilla custard, followed by cinnamonny-raisiny apple filling, then wrapped in fillo pastry).

No more Apple Strudel, ever.Discontinued.

I was all ready to throw a proper PBF (prissy-bitch-fit), but there, glistening in the corner of the polished glass display case, a batch of Chocolate Croissants!Woo-Hoo!

It sits in front of me now, at regular intervals, I caress it lovingly with my eyes.I shall wait til tea-time, thats when I'll devour it like the great greedy bitch that I am.

He Says, She Says

Just now he said," You're not happy, you don't sound it nor look it"

And I said," Honey, its just the company"

Muahahahahahaha

Encounters With E.T.

Everyday I have encounters with aliens.

You see, my office is divided into 4 departments, Administration, Creative Design, Multimedia & Writing and ALIENS.

The aliens pop up(poof!) from nowhere. We don't know them, they are nameless.

Their sole job is to scan things.

The aliens are small and scary, and when I go home I get nightmares about them.

When we walk through the Alien Department they turn and stare at us with their gooogly eyes.

My Boss, says they are not actually aliens and that we're being mean, but he's too scared to go near them and ask them who they are and what they are doing here in the first place.

I think they are watching us.

Random Shrandom

o shit, I coughed and a gob of spit fell on my brand new lap-top

(yes its here!)

Yesterday was a very, very bad day.

So lets hope today is better.

Last night, it was just me and Percy(my laptop), in bed alone, with a bowl of hokkien noodles, some apples with Nutella(slurp), and a movie called "The Notebook"(how appropriate, on my new notebook), sweet love story thing that I did NOT need after my emotional day. But it did the job.

We had fun, just the two of us, 'twas a date made in heaven.

Gayle is setting a world record for PMS-ing, man I thought I was bad, no sirreee, she takes the cake! currently cursing at the computer.(?)

At 2 am I got a friendly text from my x, requesting that I remove all mention of him from my blog. Are you kidding? It's a year's worth of blogging, that 8,337 words to edit! Not happening, I do not have the time.I will however remove pictures, and change the name, then I'll have like, a whole new x-boyfriend!

Morning or Mourning?

I breeze into the office this morning with a cheery 'hellooooo',

and Gayle goes, " Gawd, coffee already?", rolling her eyes.

Its no secret that she is PMS-ing.

We used to have synchronised PMS,

but now, somehow, are no longer in sync

It sucks, she is rude and ignores me

And it hurts )=

What Would I Do Without The Girls?

Today was hectic,hectic,hectic!

An array of family problems cropped up (and then some...)

Amongst which was the fact that my dear mother forgot to get my sister at school.

I was screaming on the phone to various people

Then had to leave May and Cel at lunch to get my sis

They decided to come with me, so there we were the 3 of us, running the length of 2 football fields, across the dusty carpark to my car.

Celyn all heels and skirt in office-lawyer mode,

May looking breezy in low-down mode,

Me, all semi island-office mode,

Traipsing high-speed in panic mode.

Had it not been so dire, we would have collapsed laughing (and from the sun and speed)

Thank you darlings for being there for me, I love you guys.

yes yes, and you too Gayle.

Anticipating Percy

Percy came yesterday, but before he came,I sent the guy that I purchased him from an email where I wanted to be polite, but not pushy, yet make a statement that, I had been waiting for 2 weeks, and I want my effing laptop!!

What followed was a series of entertaining emails ( I thought so anyways), so I wanted to share it.

*names changed for privacy and all that jazz

What Aja Does @ Work aka Fun With Real Emails

From: Aja Ng [mailto:aja_ngmeiying@yahoo.com]

Sent: Monday, March 21, 2005 11:14 AM

To: Joseph

Subject: RE: FW: The Silent Treatment

OI mR JOsEpH WhERe iS It???????

His reply was:

Joseph**@Dell.com wrote:

i+

! s

( 0 /\/\ /\/\ ! /\/ (;

+ 0 ) @ `/

~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:P

To which I said:

From: Aja Ng [mailto:aja_ngmeiying@yahoo.com]

Sent: Monday, March 21, 2005 12:01 PM

To: Joseph

Subject: RE: FW: The Silent Treatment

@ /`{=

[_]

S[_]/`{=

??

\/\/ - {= /\/

??

;P

then came this!cheeky bastard..

Joseph**@Dell.com wrote:

The time given was about [ (120 / 5) / (24 * 0.2) ] PM

*grin*

Aja Ng wrote:

[_]/`{=

@

[) ! ( [< [-] {= @ [) !!!

s0

!

9[_] {=sS

[_]

\/\/![ [

P@sS

!+

t0

/\/\[=

+0/\/!9[-]+ ?

* thank god am never without calculator! Bleks

DO your own calculations!

What matters is, Percy is safe at home (=, I had a laugh getting him though.

Someone Said

Someone said today, " I notice you mention no men in your blog nowadays..."

Hahahahaha why?

Number One: Its no good to kiss and tell

Number Two: They might read my blog and find out about others (;

Number Three:I'm not getting serious about anyone so there's no point parading anything.(you know how they talk in this community..)

Number Four: Men are boring!

'Cept Blue, who's funny as hell and makes me laugh like a bitch.

Parading in Pudu

So there I am, a rainy Sunday afternoon in Puduraya Station.

None of my friends ever do Pudu, its always NICE buses for them(if they have no driver),

its only me, the quasi/hippie backpacker chick who will attempt to travel alone from the godawful (-shudder-) Pudu Station.

Pudu.On.The.Last.Day.Of.SCHOOL.HOLIDAYS.and.Its.Pouring.Rain.

Can you imagine?

The smell is overbearing, all around me. Dirty old men looking up at me, amputees hobbling around flaunting their missing limbs and begging bowls, scarf covered, tiny malay girls scurrying here and there, Chinamen jostling for space.Little kids with those mother-fucking annoying roller-sneakers falling all over the fucking place.

And me,hungover,one-hour of sleep the night before,trying hard not to breathe in with my nose, smack in the middle of this hysteria, in my pointy leather shoes and Pink LV sling bag. I had to laugh at myself, it was incredibly funny.

When I finally did get a bus seat, into the seat next to me scrambled a ham-faced chinaman. I want to tell you about his mustache: Thin, sparse, scraggly, but the thing that got me most was that each and every hair were of different lenghts, from 1-3 inches in difference!Why oh why would anyone want to do that to themselves?Don't the little longer bits over your lips get in the way when you eat?Don't they tickle and make you sneeze like a bitch?

Thankfully, no attempt to converse was made. Until he fell asleep;which was when the little yelping noises started. He would be deeply,deeply asleep then start yelping like a lost puppy.Then came the twitching.( * aja rolls eyes)

I tried to sleep.But the bus driver drove like he was possessed and that worried me.

When Mustachioed Uncle lifted both arms and out his hands behind his head, the stench caused me to pass-out, and thus pass through the rest of the journey, unconcious.

I woke up in Butterworth. The whole bus was panicking because we were supposed to be going to Penang! Turns out, they were just dropping people of and continuing on.I could take it no more, so I hopped on the ferry instead.

Ah the sweet sea breeze of home!

A Tribute to Sepet

Not once have I waxed lyrical about a Malaysian film. Sepet has that honour.

In an industry that seems intent and content with producing melodramatic bullshit and carbon copies of Hong Kong Kung Fu, Bollywood 'Tree' Scenes, A Japanese Horror, all rolled in one, SEPET is a breath of fresh air. It is hope. It is something to be proud of.

It captures the very essence and many facets (albeit not all of) our culture, it is a film for us, a malaysian( note, Malaysian, not 'Malay') film to be proud of.

Please go. It will make you smile, laugh and cry.

Originally banned by the film censorship board, it begun screening first in Singapore, and was re-evaluated and allowed after 8 minor cuts. A story of a Chinese boy and Malay in love, but don't worry, it isn't so much a sappy love story, as it is a brilliant portrayal of the different nuances of Malaysian society.

Please go. Its worth it. Once we support the good stuff maybe they'll quit making the shite stuff.

Anyway would I waste my precious time asking you to watch crap.

It is deserving of your time.

Weekend in the Valley

Chick Reunion in Kuala Lumpur

Nights

One: The Girls Reunite (Moet & Chandon Party at the Crowne Plaza)

As soon as May and I got KL we descended upon the gang, a flurry of hugs, kisses. Everyone talked at once, as more bubbly flowed tongues got looser, laughs got louder, emotions grew stronger.

The do included 3 ex- Ms Malaysia's and a variety of other celebrity/model-type people but every head in the room was turned towards " Those noisy Penang girls", but did we care? Not!!

Champagne was coming out of our noses! I've never said no, but this time," Enough! No more Moet." I do prefer Veuve Clicquot anyway.

Later, us Three ( A dental appointment made us lose Tracy) swooped into Loft, followed by Zouk. The other girls were pooped, who should drive?I said I should!

(I realise I am writing in a weird fashion, but hell)

Anyways you know me, anything, anywhere, anytime to appease those inane food cravings, tonight it was Frog's Legs Porridge. To Jln. Alor we went, tapaued ( I am not called the tapau queen for no reason) to the hotel. Where May threw a fit at the parking guy (definately not fit!) for lack of spaces for our car to fit.

Checked in. I opted for the floor, was a sleepy bore.. and the other two talked til four.

As morning came, May's phone would ring, again and again, oh it was such a pain!

Two: Luna..and then the Loft?(was toss)

At the top of Menara Pan Global, sits a shimmering little jewel,

A bar thats fit, for a reigning czar,

So there we sat, with Lychee Martinis

I assure you, the crowd, were not from the boonies

God. I have to stop that.

Memorable things about Luna: Some Scandinavian guy told us a disgusting gay joke within the 1st minute of meeting us. ( Good one man, sure scored some brownie points there!)

It was very hot and humid. Being so high up, alcohol went to the head faster. The drinks were good, the pool inviting, the height fascinating.

Off to the Loft. Packed. Tired. Supper. Passed out in LWD ( as opposed to Little Black Dress).

Three: Dinner at Modesto's, Mambo at Velvet

To start: Bruschetta, Escargots in Garlic Cream, Carpaccio

Entrees: Rib-eye with Mushroom Sauce, Spaghetti Vongole, Roasted Lamb Shank, Grilled Rack of Lamb

Dessert: Apple 'n' Cream Pizza

As you can see, we 3 had a sumptous dinner with Sunny. Plusses on food, company and ambience. Then we headed to velvet.

We looked the bomb, together. I really must say ( not to blow my own trumpet) but one hot girl on her own?..bah..THREE girls, all hot and different WOW!

It was inevitable that each were ''on call" the entire night to help others beat unwanted men off with sticks. Tell me, do I have a sign on my forehead that says "yes,I am a bimbo, gawd please, I want to be picked up and have my arse grabbed by sleazy men using cheesy pick-up-lines"?

Some personality, some respect, some restraint and some humour, please, is that too much to ask?

I wore this stupid dress that I bought in Canada. Black, Short, Slit from chest to mid-driff, looks good, but uncomfortable as hell. Always wondering if my boob or arse was exposed. Not worth it. Will never wear that dress again.

Its up for auction, any takers?

Supper at a mamak, by a drain full of rats. Home at 6, just in time for Oprah!yay!

(thank you Oprah for helping archive butta's closet)

Slept @ 7. Woke at 8.

( Thank you bodyclock for making sure I am up for work on time, even on weekends when I am hungover and don't work)

Days

One:Bon Bon, Bangsar

We had a long, lazy, caffiene fuelled lunch in the smoky blue haze of Bon Bon, a chic french bistro a`la Parisienne ( okay, I'll admit, didn't try the coffee, only a dry martini)

Lunch was shared.

Amuse Bouche( daily complimentary small starter-like tid bit) : Some truffled mushrooms on toast thingie....

To start:Duck Rillette in Filo Pastry, Seafood Bisque with Armagnac ( french distilled white wine liquor), Caesar Salad ( us girls need our greens)

Entrees:Squid Ink Risotto with Baby Octopus, Char-grilled Beef Ribs on Foccacia, Spaghetti Pomodoro with Freshwater Prawns.

Dessert: Lecka-Lecka Chocolate..

One word: Divine

Two:Alexis Bistro

I had Onion Soup and Caesar Salad. (as you can tell, it was nothing to shout about)

Vanessa had Chicken Rice. SO so so Good!

5 bottles of wine and 4 hrs later, lunch was over.

All the time in between was spent walking around shopping malls, having coffee, and mostly getting ready to go out..

And thus,'days and nights' in KL.

Thank you Jenny and Rene for your comments, you did not leave email adds, so I could not write personal msgs!(=

Foster Says..

Men should trim or shave their nuts because its a bother to pick hair out of your teeth in between.....

Ditzy Terms 'n' Foster says...

On the trip to Kl, the very entertaining Foster (dahling...) regaled us with many toe-cringing stories about gay life/likes/dislikes and the life of an ex-cabin crew member of an airline. Foster is a massive laugh, sweet, FLAMBOYANT, loud, bitchy...etc

So, as they come to me, I will gradually add "Foster says" tidbits..beware!

Also the girls and I coined some ditzy terms, so I'll add those too...

Ditzy Terms

Butta is a Placist.

Why?

Picture this scenario:

" Hey do you wanna go eat DimSum at Jln. Alor?"

"Eww...Jln. Alor? Helllll....No!"

but

"Hey do you wanna go eat DimSum at Lai Po Heen in the Mandarin Oriental?"

"Ooohhhh definately, Hellll.....Yeah!"

Place-ist

Placist.

All That Jitters

The latest: On Me

I purchased a new laptop that has yet to be delivered.

I decided to stop smoking lastnight (huh..lets see how long that lasts!)

( see, even myself doesn't have faith in me....)

I had a good time and great dinner on 'The World'.

(pretty lazy to write about the world, so if you wanna check it out, www.aboardtheworld.com)

Dinner was:

A trio of starters: Foie Gras Pate, Sweet Cream of Corn Soup,
Salmon on a Green Bean Salad

Main: Beef Fillet on a Fresh Pea and Potato Mash,
Tiger Prawns on Saffron Risotto, Roasted Shallots
(the meat was tender, flavoursome..ahh)

Dessert: Chocolate Fondant with Raspberry Sorbet and Mango Coulis.

I will not attempt to describe because it
will make me drool over the desk.

So, he did decide to leave Johnson with my dad.
I dropped him off at lunchtime yesterday and watched in horror as he
almost immediately jumped into the pond trying to
hunt down my dad's carp.

What's even worse is, he is too fat
(okay its the way the pond is built too)
to get out on his own so someone has to dash out of the house
and save his arse.

And it happened at least 7 times (labradors love water) yesterday,
i guess that being his first day,
it either gets better or WORSE from here.

I am anticipating many raving,
frustrated phone calls from dad over the next month,
fuelled by grandma's nagging.

Aside from that though, Jon loves it.
He has never before been set free in such a big space,
he went crazy.

After the dips in the pool he proceeded to roll around
in the dirt, scrabble around in the foliage,
and attend to his followers (the 5 beagles follow him around,
so its a long line of dogs running, looping around the garden).

His cream coat that his father has so lovingly washed
with apple-scented shampoo earlier, is now the colour of milo-peng.

This is where my heart broke:

After dinner the dogs settled down for bed.

But my dog, who has never slept out in the garden,
or in pitch blackness before, started to whine.

He is used to clean, crisp, sheets.
The warmth of a human being who loves him, next to him.

He is used to being scratched before bedtime,
having his ears rubbed and coat combed.

And now, he was outside of a strange house,
with strange dogs, away from home, bed, and warmth.

I watched him as he went to each individual dog,
nuzzled them, trying to wake them up, then eventually
moving off to his own corner and going to sleep.

Oh god was I sad. So I left.

the world 

sea villa 

infinity 

Damn The Plan!

I had it all planned out after work yesterday,
I would go to Mr.Ho's, buy the groceries,
send Gayle home, head home, blade, and cook dinner,
pack then watch the Grammys.

Plan foiled! Not only did I not exercise,
but Gayle lured me in to her home with promises of delicious home cooking...

ended up shovelling bucketfulls of good ole Eurasian home-cooking.

In return, I shared with her 'Griffin and Sabine',
they are a collection of the most beautiful books.
A story about love, but its how its presented as well,
on postcards, in letters, it comes complete with envelope!
Beautiful artwork, captivating concept.

She fell in love with them, as I did.

Also, 'The Time Travellers Wife', which I have decided,
despite my earlier confusion, is brilliant.

Another one of my all time favorites,
'The Princess Bride'. Fucking awesome book man.

After leafing thru G and S,
had this strange urge to sit down with my oil pastels.
Worked for 3 hours, to produce the 2 child-like works below.
I don't care, did it for meself!

Off I go to Pangkor Laut now.

Aja's child-like drawing 1 

Ajs's child-like drawing 2 

The day she stopped loving me...

So its official. She doesn't love me anymore. My close friend and colleague has strayed. She now prefers her lover to me. I encouraged and now they've gone official.And where does that leave me, but here, alone, loveless, friendless.

Not only does she spend her every waking moment with her, but even in the office, they are calling,emailing, msn-ing.and I,

am ignored.

Oh woe is me!

Gone are the days chock-a-block with laughter

the days where we used to sing and act ridiculous after

She's gone gay, and hell someday I even may

why oh why can't she see?

now she's gone.... and its just

me

There Gayle, I wrote you and ode. You happy now, does that prove my absolute and utter devotion?

Oh screw this shite, I am outta here.

Mother's Day Special

Today I woke up with the mother of all hangovers, my friend Ross said, "How appropriate since it's Mother's Day". So here I am, hungover, feeling like an electric drill is whirring at my skull and to add to that the confusion of: isn't Mother's Day in May?

As it turns out, only the UK celebrates Mother's Day today, March 6th.

I had to drag my sorry arse out of bed to come online and verify that fact.

Last night, it didn't take me long to discover that Cosmopolitans and whiskey waters fuck you up fast. Very fast. Pretty soon the bad music..haha.. didn't notice it anymore. By half one, I was ready to go. But how could we when it was me that dragged everyone out in the first place? Ana had not even wanted to attempt Chillout.

She

did it for me.

(hmm come to think of it, have a vague memory of her bringing some guy over cos may and I said he was cute?..was cute, but we axed him cos of accent)

Which brings me around to why we were out in the first place.

You see, I had a hard day (nothing new?)

Okay, I woke up early, had a long meeting on bloody Saturday morning, then met family, after that friends, for coffee..bla bla. Cutting to the chase, later that night: my whole family and I bumped into my ex and his new girlfriend/companion/fuck-buddy.

It didn't hurt (that's not a lie). It just threw me off, I mean, I knew she had come to visit him etc. I just didn't expect to see them, and its basic human nature to go into shock after you see your ex-partner of a few years with someone else.

So picture this, my family members(5) and I are sitting down to eat, and my hands are shaking so badly that I cannot attempt to lift the spoon from plate to mouth, for they will see and be alarmed and over dramatise and assume that I am still in love with him and that I will eventually get back together with him and that will go on and on and on...

What could I do but text the girls and give them a reason for us all to go out and get drunk?

Anyways, pretty soon, I had other peoples problems to listen too and all was fine with the world again.

Glowing Profusely

I.just.went.rollerblading.for.the.first.time.in.one.year.

My legs feel like jelly. To give you an idea of how profusely I am glowing (commonly known as 'sweating') think: chinaman. in boiler-room. of Titanic. (not that there were any there...)

Friday.

What does one do when one spends too many Fridays in Penang?

Crap. its too much to think about, I'm spared cos I have a meeting at 10 am tomoro anyways, so its early night for moi.

or not.

Anyway, gotta run.Shower,(PBA mantra playing in head: save water during this dry season, penang's reservoirs are down 50% - take quicker showers) change and go pick those Californians up, dinner at 32, jazz after.

Looking forward to 'A New York State of Mind'. Sing it nice, then I'll be impressed.

Guess who's been invited aboard 'The World' cruise ship to write about it, when it docks near the exclusive private island of Pangkor Laut next week?

Why, you genius you.....

Random Shrandom

Ran down to 7-11 bought 2 yoghurt drinks, mango and strawberry.
I just said to G.( She has humongous tits)
Wouldn't it be cool if her breasts produced yoghurt shakes? We could stand her topless behind a stall on those hot, hot days and charge RM1 per suckle...
Just a random thought to share!

Defining Normality

I have a bone to pick. It’s with our circle, our community, our culture. It’s with the way people jump to conclusions, gossip and assume they know everything about you from what they see, its with the way they judge without looking at themselves first.

Why is it so hard to let a person live his or her life without passing judgement upon them? If a person is bi-sexual, gay, or even say, a hippie, and happy with it, why can we just not leave them be? Why must we judge and comment?

What gives you the right to label someone?

I resent that so many people have so much to say about me if I have a male friend that’s visiting, and I go out to dinner with him alone. It doesnt mean that I slept with him, or will EVER sleep with him. I cannot believe that waiters, bartenders and other nosy people think they can summarise me in a nutshell by the company I keep,or what I do, when they know absolutely jack-shit about me.

A part of me understands that it’s the way they’ve been raised, the way things are perceived in this community, the lack of knowledge and experience of somewhere and something other than here. The absence of a need to progress from what you are now, to what you can become.

It’s typically this small-town thinking and narrow mindedness that keeps them doing what they are doing today. And it is me, who evolves, moving away from that train of thought, that puts me where I am today, and who is happier? Me, or you? Who is it that's the actual 'freak'?

I live my life doing what I want to do, what satisfies me, makes me happy, makes me complete. I say, ‘ Fuck what they think, do they know me? Deep down inside? Do they understand the fundamentals of being a true friend?’. Do they gain that satisfaction each day, of knowing that they live a full life?

You see to me, it’s very simple. I have my close friends, family, and I know that they will love me and accept me for who I am, doing what I choose to do. I know that ultimately, my happiness is all that matters to them. And for those that choose to point the finger without bothering to get to know me at all, well, who’s loss is it? Certainly not mine.

Tell me truly are you happy with yourself? Satisfied with your life? How much do you hide each day? So many people are so quick to resent us, shall we say, free-spirited ones. They don't have the mental capacity to accept more than what they 'know'. And truthfully, not only do they lack the courage to be open, but also the promise of assurance and acceptance from friends, because in the shallow lives they live, they have garnered but a few true friends.

Emotionally, we are more stable because: we share. We have true friends who will laugh and cry with us, who will go absolutely bonkers when the need occurs. Friends who will let you scream at them on the phone just to let off steam, friends that will not judge you and hold your hand when you suffer after making a bad decision. We keep no secrets from each other, we try to always be there for each other.

It's the ones that point the finger, keep all their emotions in, and have an impassive facade that belies complete control but actually hides a riot of overflowing emotions that eventually snap. Its the paragon that normally ends up psycho, don't you watch the movies?

Live, let loose a little.

You see, we do what makes us happy in the open. We choose not to hide or be bound by society's grievances. We go out when we want, drink what we want, dance when we want, hug who we want and see who we want to see. We go home less burdened because we do not have to hide anything.

But they haven’t the guts to be truthful with themselves and pursue what they want, thus, channel their resentment towards us. Must really give them a kick.

My friend brought and interesting point up recently. By being openly free-spirited, having a wider network of friends and socialising with different groups, we are perceived as promiscuous, and therefore, more likely to cheat. But is this really true?

Look at it this way, if you don’t hold back, and explore what you want, when you do get into a serious relationship, you’re more likely to be faithful because you know what it’s all about, you’ve experienced it. Also, you know how hard it is to find a good partner thus, value the relationship more.

It’s the ones who hold back, feigning innocence, or are afraid of what “people might think” that are more likely to be overcome by temptation when it knocks on their door, no? People who have never tried something before are definately more susceptible to heading down that lane when it presents itself.

Because we are more liberal and open-minded, exposed to different types of relationships, people and situations, we are more likely pick and choose when it comes to a partner, rather than jump into the first relationship just because it creates butterflies in our tummies. We are inclined to thinking harder when making a decision rather than be overwhelmed by the heat of the moment, because we accept life as is and allow ourselves to see so much more. We see reality, rather than fairytale endings.This makes for a better, happier and more satisfactory pairing.

Being liberal and open-minded DOES NOT by any means, mean that we have one-night stands or sleep with the first guy that comes along. We recognize that men and women can have platonic friendships and embrace them. We accept that being gay or bi-sexual doesn’t change the person inside. We place more importance on what’s inside, how good a person you are, rather that what your outer image is.

We accept people for who and what they are inside and out.

Who defines, what’s normal? How can anyone presume that they are in any position to criticise the way someone else lives? How is it any of their business? Whose life is it?

In this day and age, I’d like to think that we’ve all progressed, that we all possess a wider acceptance level of what is right or wrong. Unfortunately, we have a long, long way to go.

It’s 2005 for god’s sake. Stop judging, start accepting. Start looking for the beauty within people. What matters is, are they a good person, friend? Will they be there for you in a split second if you call at 5am distraught over something? It’s time to get down to the basics, what matters, what makes you happy, rather than hiding in the layers that society has bound you with. If we don’t break out of it, who will?

Ultimately, do you define yourself, or does society define you? You make your own life, you're responsible for your own happiness.

These are the pictures taken with a cameraphone (unfortunately set on night-mode) during our trip to Pulau Kendy. My brother is so cute!

Is he cute or what? 

She's only happy in the sun 

Open WIde! 

Spearing a cobia 

Bren & I on that fishing trip 

Overcoming the Need

I am the absolutely worse person to come to with relationship problems right now. When I look at my life now, in comparison to the lives of my attached friends, and my life before, things are just so much less complicated.

So right now, when a friend starts on those relationship woes, its the least I can do to keep myself from shouting 'just dump the bastard!'

Being fair, I'll try and weigh it out, help both parties if I can.

But I can't help by wondering, how much do we gain when we fool ourselves into thinking that something unlikely is going to happen, that this is it, that it will last? That he won't cheat, or take you for granted or bloody hell, that he won't just be what he basically is: a vulgar caveman?

Maybe I sound a little jaded, but hell, why do we choose to make it so complex?

Our needs are basic, and if we choose, we can fulfill those needs if and when we choose. Don't the men do that anyways?

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we do not need to be part of a couple, that we do not need to settle down and get married, live happily and all that jazz, eventually.

What I am saying is that, with so much at risk(your heart,trust,faith), we can afford to be more picky, more cautious.

Women seem to have this built in need, or rather seem to have this belief that they cannot survive on their own. That they need to be with someone to be complete. By some masochistic property, some of us actually embrace the complications,heartache, the problems etc.

Put simply, we can survive without, but we've just been brought up to believe that a woman's sole purpose in life is to find that one prince, get married and move into a great big castle.

In this day and age, the options and oppurtunities are endless. How much do we give up each day for a man, for what we think is love until you find a red bra in his toiletry cabinet? How much do we regret doing or not doing in the end? Speaking from personal experience: alot.

And why? when we can have our cake and eat it as well? I enjoy being single, despite perception and what the Asian culture believes, single women are not sluts or GO's or mistresses.(but gossip and perception opens a whole new can of worms, so I'll get to that another time).

I can have dinner alone, with a man, or with a group seven days a week if I want to, I can stay in bed all day and be a complete slob and not worry about anyone bugging me, I can go to sleep at peace come night-time and not wonder where he is, who with etc.

And yet, If I need it, I know who to go to if I need someone who will just hold me, fall asleep with me. I know where I can find a wild time, I know who will wine and dine me. And these don't have to be random strangers picked up at some pubs. But friends,people who, like you, choose to live life with less complications.

Most times, because I know its available as and when needed, I choose not to have it. I want that special thing, that love too, but that doesnt mean I'll go looking in every corner, or pine away til I find it. I am a romantic at heart, I still believe in fate, I Just don't believe in pushing it.

I think think that we tend to create a need, when we can just as easily survive without.

If a guy doesn't say he'll call, then there is no expectation, no need created, if he say's he will then, the need is sparked and we wait like fools.If you think you need a man to count on twenty four seven, then you're going to start believing it, but the truth is, you can survive just as well without.

There's always girlfriends, guyfriends and family to share those moments with anyway, and it can be just as satisfying.

To those wondering what sparked this off...My close friend's husband left her for her cousin, she has 2 kids, the baby just survived a heart op.My other girlfriend found someone else's lingerie in her boyfriends drawer. And some arsehole violated my privacy in pretense of looking for something.