Defining Normality

I have a bone to pick. It’s with our circle, our community, our culture. It’s with the way people jump to conclusions, gossip and assume they know everything about you from what they see, its with the way they judge without looking at themselves first.

Why is it so hard to let a person live his or her life without passing judgement upon them? If a person is bi-sexual, gay, or even say, a hippie, and happy with it, why can we just not leave them be? Why must we judge and comment?

What gives you the right to label someone?

I resent that so many people have so much to say about me if I have a male friend that’s visiting, and I go out to dinner with him alone. It doesnt mean that I slept with him, or will EVER sleep with him. I cannot believe that waiters, bartenders and other nosy people think they can summarise me in a nutshell by the company I keep,or what I do, when they know absolutely jack-shit about me.

A part of me understands that it’s the way they’ve been raised, the way things are perceived in this community, the lack of knowledge and experience of somewhere and something other than here. The absence of a need to progress from what you are now, to what you can become.

It’s typically this small-town thinking and narrow mindedness that keeps them doing what they are doing today. And it is me, who evolves, moving away from that train of thought, that puts me where I am today, and who is happier? Me, or you? Who is it that's the actual 'freak'?

I live my life doing what I want to do, what satisfies me, makes me happy, makes me complete. I say, ‘ Fuck what they think, do they know me? Deep down inside? Do they understand the fundamentals of being a true friend?’. Do they gain that satisfaction each day, of knowing that they live a full life?

You see to me, it’s very simple. I have my close friends, family, and I know that they will love me and accept me for who I am, doing what I choose to do. I know that ultimately, my happiness is all that matters to them. And for those that choose to point the finger without bothering to get to know me at all, well, who’s loss is it? Certainly not mine.

Tell me truly are you happy with yourself? Satisfied with your life? How much do you hide each day? So many people are so quick to resent us, shall we say, free-spirited ones. They don't have the mental capacity to accept more than what they 'know'. And truthfully, not only do they lack the courage to be open, but also the promise of assurance and acceptance from friends, because in the shallow lives they live, they have garnered but a few true friends.

Emotionally, we are more stable because: we share. We have true friends who will laugh and cry with us, who will go absolutely bonkers when the need occurs. Friends who will let you scream at them on the phone just to let off steam, friends that will not judge you and hold your hand when you suffer after making a bad decision. We keep no secrets from each other, we try to always be there for each other.

It's the ones that point the finger, keep all their emotions in, and have an impassive facade that belies complete control but actually hides a riot of overflowing emotions that eventually snap. Its the paragon that normally ends up psycho, don't you watch the movies?

Live, let loose a little.

You see, we do what makes us happy in the open. We choose not to hide or be bound by society's grievances. We go out when we want, drink what we want, dance when we want, hug who we want and see who we want to see. We go home less burdened because we do not have to hide anything.

But they haven’t the guts to be truthful with themselves and pursue what they want, thus, channel their resentment towards us. Must really give them a kick.

My friend brought and interesting point up recently. By being openly free-spirited, having a wider network of friends and socialising with different groups, we are perceived as promiscuous, and therefore, more likely to cheat. But is this really true?

Look at it this way, if you don’t hold back, and explore what you want, when you do get into a serious relationship, you’re more likely to be faithful because you know what it’s all about, you’ve experienced it. Also, you know how hard it is to find a good partner thus, value the relationship more.

It’s the ones who hold back, feigning innocence, or are afraid of what “people might think” that are more likely to be overcome by temptation when it knocks on their door, no? People who have never tried something before are definately more susceptible to heading down that lane when it presents itself.

Because we are more liberal and open-minded, exposed to different types of relationships, people and situations, we are more likely pick and choose when it comes to a partner, rather than jump into the first relationship just because it creates butterflies in our tummies. We are inclined to thinking harder when making a decision rather than be overwhelmed by the heat of the moment, because we accept life as is and allow ourselves to see so much more. We see reality, rather than fairytale endings.This makes for a better, happier and more satisfactory pairing.

Being liberal and open-minded DOES NOT by any means, mean that we have one-night stands or sleep with the first guy that comes along. We recognize that men and women can have platonic friendships and embrace them. We accept that being gay or bi-sexual doesn’t change the person inside. We place more importance on what’s inside, how good a person you are, rather that what your outer image is.

We accept people for who and what they are inside and out.

Who defines, what’s normal? How can anyone presume that they are in any position to criticise the way someone else lives? How is it any of their business? Whose life is it?

In this day and age, I’d like to think that we’ve all progressed, that we all possess a wider acceptance level of what is right or wrong. Unfortunately, we have a long, long way to go.

It’s 2005 for god’s sake. Stop judging, start accepting. Start looking for the beauty within people. What matters is, are they a good person, friend? Will they be there for you in a split second if you call at 5am distraught over something? It’s time to get down to the basics, what matters, what makes you happy, rather than hiding in the layers that society has bound you with. If we don’t break out of it, who will?

Ultimately, do you define yourself, or does society define you? You make your own life, you're responsible for your own happiness.