That would be the general consensus eh?
No no No
Mr. D and the green-eyed giant
are not one and the same
I don't do married
God, why would I?
Sell myself short?
Never.
I'm a single, independent, intelligent
and not-bad looking 21 yr old
(well almost 22, but let that be my little bit of denial)
and I am perfectly happy this way
I don't need to do married
Although as I've always said to ah May
(who has gone to numerous fortune-tellers only to be told
she's destined to be a mistress)
the mistress option ain't too bad
when you're thirty and still single and broke
That's when you can go to your friends
and say "Pimp me baby!"
Think about what mistresses get (well the lucky ones anyway)
A penthouse home, a nice car, a bankload of cash
the very wonderful fact
that there wont be a man around all the time
to be possessive or schedule every move
she must be shrewd and cunning
no doubt
and be able to tell which are lies
and which the truth
she must be able to disconnect herself
from deep emotions
like say, love.
Oh, what do you know? I hear the mistresses ask.
Okay, it's not that simple. Nothing ever is.
_____________________________________________
Talking about pimping I didn't mention this incident earlier because it really stumped me and I couldnt believe it nor knew what to make of it.
My mother tried to pimp me.
Did you hear me?
My.Mother.Tried.To.Pimp.Me.
A 50 year old Sri Lankan businessman,
who's married to boot. That's how much she thinks I'm worth.
" Jaysus woman, I would never even consider that!"
"But you dont have to do anything. Its about security, a house, a car"
"Mother, I'm doing that by myself. Why the fuck do you think I'm so busy? Why the fuck do you think I work 2 freaking jobs?"
"But..this is easier, you wont have to work for it.. it'll be put on your plate"
By now I am fucking seething,
hell, if I had grit my teeth any harder
I'd be needing a set of dentures now.
"Lady, I actually enjoy doing it on my own.
Its the satisfaction, and the fact that I 'm sticking to my principles
I'm young, with endless oppurtunities.
When I am 30, alone, and penniless, then you can pimp me"
Then I hung up.
And wished I had a flip-phone cos
that would have been wayyyyyyy more dramatic.
The next day I wrote an explosive
email to my 4 aunts telling them
what their sister did.
The fact is I've met this guy before
and he's very nice
intelligent, good conversationalist.
Had she not tried to pimp me,
I would be his friend.
But the fact that she did,
made it too fucking freaky.
ewwwwww
I do have older male friends
that I meet up with once in awhile
for dinner and a chat
and I enjoy it because the conversation
is so different from that
of your average clubbing 25 yr old male.
The give you advice,
they have more experience
are wiser and the
convo is just a whole lot more interesting.
oh and people always jump to conclusions
'her sugar daddy', they whisper and nudge.
Which i think is
pretty fucking stupid and narrowminded.
Because a man and woman
are perfectly capable of
being just friends
regardless of age difference and etc.
Judge judge judge
Get a life.
dumbfucks
No no No
Mr. D and the green-eyed giant
are not one and the same
I don't do married
God, why would I?
Sell myself short?
Never.
I'm a single, independent, intelligent
and not-bad looking 21 yr old
(well almost 22, but let that be my little bit of denial)
and I am perfectly happy this way
I don't need to do married
Although as I've always said to ah May
(who has gone to numerous fortune-tellers only to be told
she's destined to be a mistress)
the mistress option ain't too bad
when you're thirty and still single and broke
That's when you can go to your friends
and say "Pimp me baby!"
Think about what mistresses get (well the lucky ones anyway)
A penthouse home, a nice car, a bankload of cash
the very wonderful fact
that there wont be a man around all the time
to be possessive or schedule every move
she must be shrewd and cunning
no doubt
and be able to tell which are lies
and which the truth
she must be able to disconnect herself
from deep emotions
like say, love.
Oh, what do you know? I hear the mistresses ask.
Okay, it's not that simple. Nothing ever is.
_____________________________________________
Talking about pimping I didn't mention this incident earlier because it really stumped me and I couldnt believe it nor knew what to make of it.
My mother tried to pimp me.
Did you hear me?
My.Mother.Tried.To.Pimp.Me.
Uh huh. Those of you who are close to me
or read my blog consistently probably know
that my mom can sometimes be
a bit (a lot)
off tangent.
So last week she calls and
asks me to be her 'chaperone' for a dinner date.
Its a decent enough request
but I am busy as fuck
so I turn her down
throughout the day she calls
hell, her date bloody calls
Dinner? Supper? Coffee?
they plead.
One of which I agreed to
but cancelled when
she later did something to piss me off.
Then she calls again.
"How about dinner tomorrow?'
"Tomorrow, mother, I have a dinner assignment
I will only be free after 10 p.m."
then she goes on to say
"Okay, I need to tell you something,
this guy is actually looking for a companion
he's a millionaire business man who
says that he's not looking to bed her,
just for companionship, and he'll give her the world"
I took the phone from my ear and
stared at it in speechless disbelief.
"Thhhhwwwhattt? Are you fucking out of your mind?"
I yelled, raging, when I finally found my voice.
(ignoring the look of disapproval at my language from my dinner date)
or read my blog consistently probably know
that my mom can sometimes be
a bit (a lot)
off tangent.
So last week she calls and
asks me to be her 'chaperone' for a dinner date.
Its a decent enough request
but I am busy as fuck
so I turn her down
throughout the day she calls
hell, her date bloody calls
Dinner? Supper? Coffee?
they plead.
One of which I agreed to
but cancelled when
she later did something to piss me off.
Then she calls again.
"How about dinner tomorrow?'
"Tomorrow, mother, I have a dinner assignment
I will only be free after 10 p.m."
then she goes on to say
"Okay, I need to tell you something,
this guy is actually looking for a companion
he's a millionaire business man who
says that he's not looking to bed her,
just for companionship, and he'll give her the world"
I took the phone from my ear and
stared at it in speechless disbelief.
"Thhhhwwwhattt? Are you fucking out of your mind?"
I yelled, raging, when I finally found my voice.
(ignoring the look of disapproval at my language from my dinner date)
A 50 year old Sri Lankan businessman,
who's married to boot. That's how much she thinks I'm worth.
" Jaysus woman, I would never even consider that!"
"But you dont have to do anything. Its about security, a house, a car"
"Mother, I'm doing that by myself. Why the fuck do you think I'm so busy? Why the fuck do you think I work 2 freaking jobs?"
"But..this is easier, you wont have to work for it.. it'll be put on your plate"
By now I am fucking seething,
hell, if I had grit my teeth any harder
I'd be needing a set of dentures now.
"Lady, I actually enjoy doing it on my own.
Its the satisfaction, and the fact that I 'm sticking to my principles
I'm young, with endless oppurtunities.
When I am 30, alone, and penniless, then you can pimp me"
Then I hung up.
And wished I had a flip-phone cos
that would have been wayyyyyyy more dramatic.
The next day I wrote an explosive
email to my 4 aunts telling them
what their sister did.
The fact is I've met this guy before
and he's very nice
intelligent, good conversationalist.
Had she not tried to pimp me,
I would be his friend.
But the fact that she did,
made it too fucking freaky.
ewwwwww
I do have older male friends
that I meet up with once in awhile
for dinner and a chat
and I enjoy it because the conversation
is so different from that
of your average clubbing 25 yr old male.
The give you advice,
they have more experience
are wiser and the
convo is just a whole lot more interesting.
oh and people always jump to conclusions
'her sugar daddy', they whisper and nudge.
Which i think is
pretty fucking stupid and narrowminded.
Because a man and woman
are perfectly capable of
being just friends
regardless of age difference and etc.
Judge judge judge
Get a life.
dumbfucks
7 comments:
!
dats all lil moi can say
and you r right, he is a nice guy.
plus, nuthin wrong with older man frens.....screw the general inhibited-minded population of penang!
yep nothin wrong at all (=
Just hate the way 'penang people' jump to conclusions!
Oh Flo...I know EXACTLY what you mean...sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here too...then I remember that next year I will find somewhere else to move to. Yee Har!
hey...some younger guys can be yummy, ok. Not that im with a younger guy - BUT there have been a few that have gotten me salivating before..haha ;)
And we do have some 'cradle snatcher girlfriends havin a good time .. girls, u know who u r! and the boys r sweethearts to boot!
Plus, as u get older, the choice of younger men gets better...a woman at 29 would have all those hot young idealistic 23-28 year old yuppies eager to please the goddesses..hahaha...
isnt saying "ewwwww" to dating younger guys a form of judgement as well?
and if it is, ainchu just like that the rest of the Penang ppl you just dissected?
:)
Post a Comment