He, " Are you PMS-ing ah?
She: Erm ...no, why?
He, " Damn, could have fooled me.."
She: I am now!
She: Erm ...no, why?
He, " Damn, could have fooled me.."
She: I am now!
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
In Love!
"...I have learned from the mistakes I made in the past,
and I am not going to repeat them.
I'm never going to take her for granted;
I'm always going to be on time;
I am always going to call if I am running a little late;
I'm always going to make sure that she knows
she comes first above everything else;
I'm always going to keep the romance alive and
never settle for anything less than being totally and utterly in love;
I'm always going to make sure that we really talk
about what's truly on our minds;
and most of all, I'm going to spend the rest of my life
doing everything I can to make sure
she's happy because
I feel like I have a purpose in life when I'm with her...
and well, anyone who's seen a smile like hers,
would know exactly where I am coming from ;o) "
When I read the above, my heart melted
and my legs turned to jelly
there exists hope!
But, had to be my own bloody cousin who wrote that right?
I am always going to call if I am running a little late;
I'm always going to make sure that she knows
she comes first above everything else;
I'm always going to keep the romance alive and
never settle for anything less than being totally and utterly in love;
I'm always going to make sure that we really talk
about what's truly on our minds;
and most of all, I'm going to spend the rest of my life
doing everything I can to make sure
she's happy because
I feel like I have a purpose in life when I'm with her...
and well, anyone who's seen a smile like hers,
would know exactly where I am coming from ;o) "
When I read the above, my heart melted
and my legs turned to jelly
there exists hope!
But, had to be my own bloody cousin who wrote that right?
Positively Patriotic
I have always been the type of person
who could never settle down
in one place
Always had this burning need to travel
move around
learn and experience
new places
new food
and cultures
see different points of view
see different ways of living
but when I go,
there always comes a point
who could never settle down
in one place
Always had this burning need to travel
move around
learn and experience
new places
new food
and cultures
see different points of view
see different ways of living
but when I go,
there always comes a point
when I miss Malaysia.
There is a lot that needs changing,
but for now, here's what makes me happy.
Despite some flaws
and some mind-sets
that can eventually
be ironed out
with patience and
education,
our country is beautiful.
I love how here,
4 people of different races can sit
and have a meal together
each person speaking
each other's language
eating each other's food.
Does that happen anywhere else?
I don't know, but I like to think
it's unique to us.
Yes, sometimes there is underlying racial
tension
we jokingly pass racist remarks
in conversations
but at the same time
we all have great friends of each race.
There is a lot that needs changing,
but for now, here's what makes me happy.
Despite some flaws
and some mind-sets
that can eventually
be ironed out
with patience and
education,
our country is beautiful.
I love how here,
4 people of different races can sit
and have a meal together
each person speaking
each other's language
eating each other's food.
Does that happen anywhere else?
I don't know, but I like to think
it's unique to us.
Yes, sometimes there is underlying racial
tension
we jokingly pass racist remarks
in conversations
but at the same time
we all have great friends of each race.
I love the variety
and I love the fact that food
is 'the' Malaysian thing.
It's no surprise that Malaysians love their
food
we meet new people over food
we bond over food
we connect over food
we fight over food
we heal over food
anytime, anywhere
I love the warm weather
the ocean and beaches
our tropical island paradises
I love the city for all it's modern skyscrapers
and creative entertainment variety
it's vibrance til the wee hours of the day
I love driving down the trunk road
and spotting the occasional kampung house
amongst the swaying coconut trees
I love a duty free martini
while soaking in the sun
on Pantai Cenang
I love perusing the market shelves
while holding my breath
at Pulau Tikus market
I love spending Sundays on
a rocky boat
waiting for a fresh catch of barracuda
I love standing in the middle
of the jungle alone
and freezing up at the sound of a
wild-boar trampling around
I love getting tipsy
and taking a trishaw ride
around the old town
at 3 am
I love that our location
makes most places
so easily accessible
I love dusty heritage buildings
and the big old trees
and sometimes, I even love how unruly certain things
in this country are
The fact is, no matter
where I go
or for how long
eventually, I'll always come back to Malaysia.
This is my home.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Pubic Hair Topiary
Saturday afternoon
I met Angeline
at La Bodega Lounge
expecting the others
to come early
and to have a few hilarious rounds
of Taboo.
Didn't happen.
Instead Mr.Cham text out of the blue
and decided to come
and as always,with Mr. Cham
came the alcohol at 3pm.
By 5 , I was pink in the cheek
trying to walk coolly to the toilet
and 'hover' without splashing my buttcheeks
with gushing piss
while reading the toilet
ads.
One was for the Ozmosis Spa
and just like that
I called, for a Brazillian.
"Oh my god, babe," said Angeline
reaching for my hand
and scrunching her face up in imaginary pain
when I broke the news
that I had a booking in 40 mins
"Do they do men?" piped Mr. Cham
Angeline starts to regale me with horrow
waxing stories
"Its okay babe, I've done it before" I assure
even though now,
I was beginning to feel slightly unsure.
Then the Spa called.
Could I come now?
Appointment brought forward.
Whoop-tee-doo!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I met Angeline
at La Bodega Lounge
expecting the others
to come early
and to have a few hilarious rounds
of Taboo.
Didn't happen.
Instead Mr.Cham text out of the blue
and decided to come
and as always,with Mr. Cham
came the alcohol at 3pm.
By 5 , I was pink in the cheek
trying to walk coolly to the toilet
and 'hover' without splashing my buttcheeks
with gushing piss
while reading the toilet
ads.
One was for the Ozmosis Spa
and just like that
I called, for a Brazillian.
"Oh my god, babe," said Angeline
reaching for my hand
and scrunching her face up in imaginary pain
when I broke the news
that I had a booking in 40 mins
"Do they do men?" piped Mr. Cham
Angeline starts to regale me with horrow
waxing stories
"Its okay babe, I've done it before" I assure
even though now,
I was beginning to feel slightly unsure.
Then the Spa called.
Could I come now?
Appointment brought forward.
Whoop-tee-doo!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first part of my body that I ever got waxed
was the area
commonly known as 'bikini'
commonly known as 'bikini'
but it wasn't
just the bikini area
just the bikini area
oh no, I went for the bloody Brazillian
Being my first time and all
I guess it was pretty fucking dumb
of me.
This was 2 yrs back
I'm on 9hr transit
at Changi en-route to Meenambakkan
at Changi en-route to Meenambakkan
So I hop into a cab and head for Orchard Road
after a solo Chicken Rice lunch
and some wandering around
some stunned gasping
at the exorbitant prices
I decided to look for a place
that would give me a Brazillian
that would give me a Brazillian
but all the places I went to
didn't provide the service
( hahah somehow I find that sentence funny)
Eventually, I opted for a French Manicure at
some dark, dingy place
that I can't remember the name of
Somehow the conversation with my manicurist
came around to waxing
came around to waxing
and I nonchalantly mentioned the Brazillian
"Oh! We do it" she says
Oh yes, it was one of those,
one of the "We do it all" type places.
I warily looked around
"Er no, just inquiring", I said lowering my eyes.
But it was too late
I was going to get sucked into
this bubbling vortex of sizzling sales pitches
and in the end relented.
The 'waxing room', was the 7x4foot space
at the end of the shop
hidden by a thin plastic curtain
To say I was self-conconcious,
as I sat my bare bottom down
on the cold bed-type-thing
and opened my legs to this stranger
understatement of the century.
The woman was clearly as
uncomfortable
to be peering in between my lips
as I was with her doing it
she did her job swiftly
I bit down on my sweater
from the pain
She'd done the top triangle
and was about to move down
"Stop" I said, "Cannot, too painful"
"Are you sure?"
I nodded in silent confirmation.
"Excuse me, miss?" Piped another voice
from the other side of the curtain.
"It really hurts less down there,trust me"
(yes to my utter embarassment the whole salon had had the pleasure of
hearing me throughout my ordeal)
"Okay I'll trust you" I said to the stranger,
knowing that if I stopped now
everyone in the salon would brand me
the 'pussy'.
And you know what?
She was right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fast forward to 2 years later in Bangsar
Aida greets me warmly
she is professional
and I am comfortable stripping off
in front of her
We chat throughout
I ask her how she got into
the line
how much she earns
(more than me)
what the client base is like
(80% expats)
Whether she's had dodgy clients
(yes, she threathen to call the non-existent bouncer)
and the next thing I knew
I looked down
and
botak.
She's good. I recommend her.
and in the end relented.
The 'waxing room', was the 7x4foot space
at the end of the shop
hidden by a thin plastic curtain
To say I was self-conconcious,
as I sat my bare bottom down
on the cold bed-type-thing
and opened my legs to this stranger
understatement of the century.
The woman was clearly as
uncomfortable
to be peering in between my lips
as I was with her doing it
she did her job swiftly
I bit down on my sweater
from the pain
She'd done the top triangle
and was about to move down
"Stop" I said, "Cannot, too painful"
"Are you sure?"
I nodded in silent confirmation.
"Excuse me, miss?" Piped another voice
from the other side of the curtain.
"It really hurts less down there,trust me"
(yes to my utter embarassment the whole salon had had the pleasure of
hearing me throughout my ordeal)
"Okay I'll trust you" I said to the stranger,
knowing that if I stopped now
everyone in the salon would brand me
the 'pussy'.
And you know what?
She was right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fast forward to 2 years later in Bangsar
Aida greets me warmly
she is professional
and I am comfortable stripping off
in front of her
We chat throughout
I ask her how she got into
the line
how much she earns
(more than me)
what the client base is like
(80% expats)
Whether she's had dodgy clients
(yes, she threathen to call the non-existent bouncer)
and the next thing I knew
I looked down
and
botak.
She's good. I recommend her.
Walk That Runway Baby
Kay-ell was two nights ending at Zeta
stumbling back into the hotel room
to pass out
and finding out
that Peter had stumbled in
and passed out
way before.
Though we went to KL together
Pete's and I
ended up doing completely different things
because we have different tastes
as to what good
music, food and drinking joints are
and I was basically a grouchy bitch
(he made me walk for god's sake)
in KL. Me, in heels)
I mean, if I am in London and the weather is cool and crisp
and there is a walking culture
I sure as hell don't mind
But the walking culture doesn't exist here
and it doesnt exist for a reason.
Anyways
Saturday night
Vans, Em, Ange and I
went out to Asian Heritage Row
with a mission to drink, dance and not be bothered
by any sleazy bastards.
We were obviously stupid to have our sights
set so high.
15 minutes in Savanh
and the old men had formed a ring around our table
other girls were throwing daggers with their
eyes
as the men started taking turns
to come and chat us up
We rolled our eyes and left.
What is it with this?
You know, that,
"girl, those girls are competition and we are going to stare them down"
thing that they got going...
If you have a complex, deal with it,
don't take it out on us.
Honey, you'd enjoy your night a lot more
if you'd just concentrate on your
friends and your fun,
or if you're trying to pick-up:smile
rather than staring green-eyed at
other girls who are having a good time
because you feel inadequate and
jealous of the attention they're getting.
The only reason we get the attention is because
We don't fucking give a shit
what anyone thinks
We go out
we drink
we do kooky dances(think spastic)
and we have a blast
just us
and thats the fact that draws people.
if you cared about what everyone
thought in this country
and wanted to let loose and have fun
at the same time
then you might as well do it
in a cardboard box.
Urg. I really don't mean to sound so arrogant,
but sometimes it's just too much
as if I want to steal your man
or potential suitors la?
Some confidence might be good eh?
So anyway, scooted to Ivy
na-uh
Then to Mojo
-dead
Didn't even contemplate the Ah Beng haven
called the Loft
Too much of Velvet
So, Zeta again!
There, I met a guy called Dick
his real name, nary a Richard in sight
There we danced like we were
Indians at Thaipusam
and laughed like hyenas
at ourselves
There we came to each other's rescue
when unwanted male attention
came a-knocking
There we stood aside
in respect and gladness
when desired male attention
came a-walking
There, we thanked each other
for being a friend
hugged and said "I love you"
There we celebrated
4 single, independent women
toasting with double-strength vodka martinis
stumbling back into the hotel room
to pass out
and finding out
that Peter had stumbled in
and passed out
way before.
Though we went to KL together
Pete's and I
ended up doing completely different things
because we have different tastes
as to what good
music, food and drinking joints are
and I was basically a grouchy bitch
(he made me walk for god's sake)
in KL. Me, in heels)
I mean, if I am in London and the weather is cool and crisp
and there is a walking culture
I sure as hell don't mind
But the walking culture doesn't exist here
and it doesnt exist for a reason.
Anyways
Saturday night
Vans, Em, Ange and I
went out to Asian Heritage Row
with a mission to drink, dance and not be bothered
by any sleazy bastards.
We were obviously stupid to have our sights
set so high.
15 minutes in Savanh
and the old men had formed a ring around our table
other girls were throwing daggers with their
eyes
as the men started taking turns
to come and chat us up
We rolled our eyes and left.
What is it with this?
You know, that,
"girl, those girls are competition and we are going to stare them down"
thing that they got going...
If you have a complex, deal with it,
don't take it out on us.
Honey, you'd enjoy your night a lot more
if you'd just concentrate on your
friends and your fun,
or if you're trying to pick-up:smile
rather than staring green-eyed at
other girls who are having a good time
because you feel inadequate and
jealous of the attention they're getting.
The only reason we get the attention is because
We don't fucking give a shit
what anyone thinks
We go out
we drink
we do kooky dances(think spastic)
and we have a blast
just us
and thats the fact that draws people.
if you cared about what everyone
thought in this country
and wanted to let loose and have fun
at the same time
then you might as well do it
in a cardboard box.
Urg. I really don't mean to sound so arrogant,
but sometimes it's just too much
as if I want to steal your man
or potential suitors la?
Some confidence might be good eh?
So anyway, scooted to Ivy
na-uh
Then to Mojo
-dead
Didn't even contemplate the Ah Beng haven
called the Loft
Too much of Velvet
So, Zeta again!
There, I met a guy called Dick
his real name, nary a Richard in sight
There we danced like we were
Indians at Thaipusam
and laughed like hyenas
at ourselves
There we came to each other's rescue
when unwanted male attention
came a-knocking
There we stood aside
in respect and gladness
when desired male attention
came a-walking
There, we thanked each other
for being a friend
hugged and said "I love you"
There we celebrated
4 single, independent women
toasting with double-strength vodka martinis
Thursday, August 25, 2005
What A Week
Butta says my bosses are really making me work for my _____ ______.
I agree.
wait, no I don't.
It's just that suddenly things went mad this week
as is the norm
with PR and Advertising
the lull
then the sudden super dooper hectic frazzled all-hours work
piles in.
I tried to bitch about work
In the 10 short minutes that
I saw my ex for the day before yesterday
( I needed help getting my tyres filled)
but i didn't get the response I wanted
he barely nodded
tra-la-la-ing
acting as if
I was over drama-ing
How upsetting.
So then I said
"I've been so busy that I haven't blogged for a week"
His jaw dropped to the floor
His eyes widened in disbelief
Congratulations, Aja
mission accomplished.
Seriously,
12 hrs each day
are no joke.
I don't know how
Angeline Baby
does it.
In other news,
I am the luckiest niece in the world
all my 5 aunts
love me.
Uh huh, of course it helps that
I'm a wonderful person.
My Japan-aunty
just came back, then went back
while she was here
I obtained
my early birthday present
it's also know as a T-33
and with it
I have taken a shitload of
meaningless pictures
but cant post them up
and waste your time
because I don't have the
necessary cables/card-reader.
So,
you're spared
you can thank me now.
Last night I finished just before 10 pm
was supposed to have dinner
but had to ask my ex to tapau
then I went to his place
and picked a fight with him
even after he went back to the shop
to change the wine
from white to red
because this bitch
plain refused to drink white
So I ended up eating alone
me and the food and my laptop
and bottle of merlot
missing a glass
that I was so kind to give him
By the time I finished
drooling
over Julian Mc Mahon
(sigh...the ultimate man, man)
the wine had all disappeared
down my gullet.
Cant wait til tomorro
for the week to be over
but for now
it's far from over
2 deadlines to meet yet
a pub review(woo hoo free alco!) tonight
I havent blogged for so long
that I don't know how to anymore
too tired
too stressed
too uninspired
give up.
I agree.
wait, no I don't.
It's just that suddenly things went mad this week
as is the norm
with PR and Advertising
the lull
then the sudden super dooper hectic frazzled all-hours work
piles in.
I tried to bitch about work
In the 10 short minutes that
I saw my ex for the day before yesterday
( I needed help getting my tyres filled)
but i didn't get the response I wanted
he barely nodded
tra-la-la-ing
acting as if
I was over drama-ing
How upsetting.
So then I said
"I've been so busy that I haven't blogged for a week"
His jaw dropped to the floor
His eyes widened in disbelief
Congratulations, Aja
mission accomplished.
Seriously,
12 hrs each day
are no joke.
I don't know how
Angeline Baby
does it.
In other news,
I am the luckiest niece in the world
all my 5 aunts
love me.
Uh huh, of course it helps that
I'm a wonderful person.
My Japan-aunty
just came back, then went back
while she was here
I obtained
my early birthday present
it's also know as a T-33
and with it
I have taken a shitload of
meaningless pictures
but cant post them up
and waste your time
because I don't have the
necessary cables/card-reader.
So,
you're spared
you can thank me now.
Last night I finished just before 10 pm
was supposed to have dinner
but had to ask my ex to tapau
then I went to his place
and picked a fight with him
even after he went back to the shop
to change the wine
from white to red
because this bitch
plain refused to drink white
So I ended up eating alone
me and the food and my laptop
and bottle of merlot
missing a glass
that I was so kind to give him
By the time I finished
drooling
over Julian Mc Mahon
(sigh...the ultimate man, man)
the wine had all disappeared
down my gullet.
Cant wait til tomorro
for the week to be over
but for now
it's far from over
2 deadlines to meet yet
a pub review(woo hoo free alco!) tonight
I havent blogged for so long
that I don't know how to anymore
too tired
too stressed
too uninspired
give up.
oh wait found a pic that I uploaded earlier
me dawgie
he's almost a year old now!
me dawgie
he's almost a year old now!
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
I Work With A Weirdo, Her Name is Aja
I am listening to french radio on my laptop
My headphones are on
but
not plugged in
subjecting the rest of the office
to rapid indecipheral speech and lots of hawking.
Gabe surreptitiously cast sideways glances
every now and then
as does my Boss when he walks by
I am trying my best to look
completely, utterly absorbed
in what I am pretending
is blaring into my ears
They are wondering whether
I am fucking stupid
to have headphones
on
yet not notice that they are not plugged in
or
if they are hearing things.
" Aja?" says Gabe.
"Huh? yeah?" I say a little too loudly.
" Are you hearing anything on your headphones?"
"No gabes, can't you hear the music coming from my laptop?"
I look at him concernedly
"I'm just warming my ears".
Later my Boss walks by again.
He stops by my desk.
The radio is on the breakfast talkshow
and the hosts are playing a joke on parisian taxicab companies..
Boss lifts a quizzical eyebrow
he hovers
I am absorbed in the beat that
I'm supposedly hearing
Ask, damn it
I silently will him.
He opens his mouth
he shrugs and turns away.
Damn! I so wanted to tell him
that I unplugged the headphones
because
the music
was disturbing
the voices in my head.
My headphones are on
but
not plugged in
subjecting the rest of the office
to rapid indecipheral speech and lots of hawking.
Gabe surreptitiously cast sideways glances
every now and then
as does my Boss when he walks by
I am trying my best to look
completely, utterly absorbed
in what I am pretending
is blaring into my ears
They are wondering whether
I am fucking stupid
to have headphones
on
yet not notice that they are not plugged in
or
if they are hearing things.
" Aja?" says Gabe.
"Huh? yeah?" I say a little too loudly.
" Are you hearing anything on your headphones?"
"No gabes, can't you hear the music coming from my laptop?"
I look at him concernedly
"I'm just warming my ears".
Later my Boss walks by again.
He stops by my desk.
The radio is on the breakfast talkshow
and the hosts are playing a joke on parisian taxicab companies..
Boss lifts a quizzical eyebrow
he hovers
I am absorbed in the beat that
I'm supposedly hearing
Ask, damn it
I silently will him.
He opens his mouth
he shrugs and turns away.
Damn! I so wanted to tell him
that I unplugged the headphones
because
the music
was disturbing
the voices in my head.
Graphic Designers! Anyone?
In light of Gayle's departure from
my working life
and
(from the looks of her blog)
the world wide web,
I have become closer to my Bosses and colleagues.
By closer I mean they are
more exposed to my weirdness.
Yesterday, Gabe hardly batted a lid
when I asked him
if he played any sport
and whether he has a belly
Aaron said "Sometimes"
when I asked him if he talks to his belly
Then he poked me with his stick
(so he could tell his friends that he poked me with his stick)
Aaron said that I have lost fans in his friends
because I went to Pangkor Laut with
A Guy
Oooooooh
come on la
did I not very clearly state he's an ex boyfriend
my very good friend?
its bad enough when people who do read me
misunderstand
but when people who dont know me
misinterpret as well?
Yes, people can be friends with the exes
yes, a male and female can spend 24 hours with
each other
and not have sex
ever heard of companionship? conversation?
anyways, where was I?
my Boss merely continued our meeting
eventhough I interrupted with
"Man, do I need to shit"
and the other day during
a meeting
with Steve, Hin, Capes and Gabes,
Aaron said, " Shoot in different positions"
and I said
"Oooh, I likeeeee"
But it was as if the men didn't see me!
Bloody hell, I just looked at my subject line
I am sooo digressing.
Graphic Designers.
Why are they all bloody chinese-ed nowadays?
When another advert that I had so clearly
loved in my head
came out all skewed and chinesey
I mini-ranted at my Boss
Get me English- Speaking!!! for god's sake!
I want someone who bloody reads the accompanying texts
understands the concept, and designs accordingly.
and he said
"You have no idea how hard that is"
according to him
its all gone topsy-turvy
the Chinese students are thronging Art and Design
while the Amoh-ed are going for Business and Accounting
Is this true???
my working life
and
(from the looks of her blog)
the world wide web,
I have become closer to my Bosses and colleagues.
By closer I mean they are
more exposed to my weirdness.
Yesterday, Gabe hardly batted a lid
when I asked him
if he played any sport
and whether he has a belly
Aaron said "Sometimes"
when I asked him if he talks to his belly
Then he poked me with his stick
(so he could tell his friends that he poked me with his stick)
Aaron said that I have lost fans in his friends
because I went to Pangkor Laut with
A Guy
Oooooooh
come on la
did I not very clearly state he's an ex boyfriend
my very good friend?
its bad enough when people who do read me
misunderstand
but when people who dont know me
misinterpret as well?
Yes, people can be friends with the exes
yes, a male and female can spend 24 hours with
each other
and not have sex
ever heard of companionship? conversation?
anyways, where was I?
my Boss merely continued our meeting
eventhough I interrupted with
"Man, do I need to shit"
and the other day during
a meeting
with Steve, Hin, Capes and Gabes,
Aaron said, " Shoot in different positions"
and I said
"Oooh, I likeeeee"
But it was as if the men didn't see me!
Bloody hell, I just looked at my subject line
I am sooo digressing.
Graphic Designers.
Why are they all bloody chinese-ed nowadays?
When another advert that I had so clearly
loved in my head
came out all skewed and chinesey
I mini-ranted at my Boss
Get me English- Speaking!!! for god's sake!
I want someone who bloody reads the accompanying texts
understands the concept, and designs accordingly.
and he said
"You have no idea how hard that is"
according to him
its all gone topsy-turvy
the Chinese students are thronging Art and Design
while the Amoh-ed are going for Business and Accounting
Is this true???
Mo Far Kor Pt.II
In an attempt to educate the
ignorant prissy bitch in me
following that Mo Far Kor incident
induced by Butta
Floe has sweetly some up with this
Made me laugh out loud, Thanks!
ignorant prissy bitch in me
following that Mo Far Kor incident
induced by Butta
Floe has sweetly some up with this
Made me laugh out loud, Thanks!
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
A Month of Art
I had a glimpse of it
and found it interesting
but I've been a pretty busy bee today
and havent been able to really get into it
but from what I see
I like
Go and check it out
www.30dayartist.blogspot.com
and found it interesting
but I've been a pretty busy bee today
and havent been able to really get into it
but from what I see
I like
Go and check it out
www.30dayartist.blogspot.com
He Says, She Says
I am pottering about in the home of my ex
when I come across this white mini-skirt that
I've been looking for for ages.
Me (jokingly) : I hope you're not having your new girlfriend dress up in my clothes..
He: Oohh... they're a bit loose on her.
The swelling on his head may be from the avocado that I threw at him.
____________________________________________
Johnson is now massive
and displaying no signs
of just having had an operation.
"Johnson get off!" I shout
as he pounces on me with his sharp hooves
[my blog, I can call it whatever I want]
" No Johnson, its alright, this one you can attack"
says the ex as he comes up the garden.
Another avocado spatters.
-------------------------
edit: 5.09 pm, Wed, 17th Aug
I just reread the first line of the 2nd part of this post
Johnson? Operation? Bigger?
Tell me its not just me that finds this amusing.
when I come across this white mini-skirt that
I've been looking for for ages.
Me (jokingly) : I hope you're not having your new girlfriend dress up in my clothes..
He: Oohh... they're a bit loose on her.
The swelling on his head may be from the avocado that I threw at him.
____________________________________________
Johnson is now massive
and displaying no signs
of just having had an operation.
"Johnson get off!" I shout
as he pounces on me with his sharp hooves
[my blog, I can call it whatever I want]
" No Johnson, its alright, this one you can attack"
says the ex as he comes up the garden.
Another avocado spatters.
-------------------------
edit: 5.09 pm, Wed, 17th Aug
I just reread the first line of the 2nd part of this post
Johnson? Operation? Bigger?
Tell me its not just me that finds this amusing.
Just Call Me Bigfoot
I don't know if I've just O.D-ed on KL
or if I was just ill last weekend
I didnt particularly enjoy the shopping
because every single shoe
that I showed a slight bit on
interest in
didn't come in my size.
Size ten feet in this country
spells nightmare.
I have to get other people from/visiting
ang-moh countries to buy me shoes *hint*
So shopping was pretty fruitless
then we headed back to the hotel
where I squealed with delight
bouncing around on the bed
before heading to the
Ritz Club Lounge
for cocktails
alone
just me
and the shimmering KL skyline
I took a bath
a nap
then another bath
before heading to Zeta
where my friend from kindergarten,
the bartender,
tried to kill me
with green sambuca-ey shots
that I washed down with lychee martinis
All I really wanted was to go home
I felt so ill
but the others
wanted to go to the
KLIQ party at Atmosphere
Sorry, is it just me?
Or do other girls fancy
watching delectable GAY men
rub each other up and down?
HOME! I hollered, 15 mins in
offering to take a cab
and leave my "coolest aunt ever"
(said my friends)
with my friends.
No no no
no more KL
not this weekend at least
but next, (;
for sure.
or if I was just ill last weekend
I didnt particularly enjoy the shopping
because every single shoe
that I showed a slight bit on
interest in
didn't come in my size.
Size ten feet in this country
spells nightmare.
I have to get other people from/visiting
ang-moh countries to buy me shoes *hint*
So shopping was pretty fruitless
then we headed back to the hotel
where I squealed with delight
bouncing around on the bed
before heading to the
Ritz Club Lounge
for cocktails
alone
just me
and the shimmering KL skyline
I took a bath
a nap
then another bath
before heading to Zeta
where my friend from kindergarten,
the bartender,
tried to kill me
with green sambuca-ey shots
that I washed down with lychee martinis
All I really wanted was to go home
I felt so ill
but the others
wanted to go to the
KLIQ party at Atmosphere
Sorry, is it just me?
Or do other girls fancy
watching delectable GAY men
rub each other up and down?
HOME! I hollered, 15 mins in
offering to take a cab
and leave my "coolest aunt ever"
(said my friends)
with my friends.
No no no
no more KL
not this weekend at least
but next, (;
for sure.
Monday, August 15, 2005
Mondays!
Goddamn it!
Just because you're too
fucking stupid to understand
a simple fucking ad like that
doesnt mean others are as stupid.
Dumbfuck.
Just because you're too
fucking stupid to understand
a simple fucking ad like that
doesnt mean others are as stupid.
Dumbfuck.
Anal is In
Its 8 am,
the haze is making it ghostly way across the bridge
shrouding the island
as we leave.
Am I lucky or what?
Everyone was warning me against
leaving smog free Penang
for the haze laden valley
who would have guessed?
That the haze hates me.
So, on to the roadtrip.
I am in the passenger seat,
behind me
my two teenage cousins are more
barking, then talking.
Every sentence when addressing each other
ends with 'stupid'.
My aunt Pat
who's visiting from Japan,
is behind the wheel.
I groan inwardly when
she says she plans to stick to the speed limit.
10 minutes in
and we are plod plod plodding
I can count every stalk of grass
that we pass.
I glance at her
she glances at me
"what the hell. I'm on holiday!
Its not like I can't afford a speeding ticket.."
and with that,
the inner speed demon is unleashed.
Surely I've mentioned that both sides
of my family
are
equally anal
between them covering
most possible ways
of being anal.
So when it's my turn to drive
I am doing 140 kmph
(even after warning my aunt
that my other aunts once
complained
that I drive impossibly slow)
couldn't possible be outdriven by my aunt could I?
"Oh this bloody fluff is driving me nuts!"
exclaims aunt Pat,
referring to the lint from the towel
that I used to bundle myself
up from the a/c
"I hope you don't mind if I clean while you drive"
she says, whipping out a wet-one.
She starts to polish the dashboard,
"You dont mind do you?" she asks again
as she wipes the steering wheel
and around my hands
while I struggle to keep my eyes on the
road
and maintain my 140.
Fortunately, we arrive safely in the
clear skied valley.
where my uncle told us to meet him near
Vistana
and I told aunt Pat that I could get there without directions
but she didnt believe me
and got a cab to guide us
but told the others that
we had found my way all our own.
We met up with Pat's sister, Nat
and my uncle
in some mamak
where my uncle ordered curry puffs
and stared at them glumly
when they came
because he realised he was on
the Atkins Diet
his pain increasing
when the beggar refused
his mouth watering curry puffs.
the haze is making it ghostly way across the bridge
shrouding the island
as we leave.
Am I lucky or what?
Everyone was warning me against
leaving smog free Penang
for the haze laden valley
who would have guessed?
That the haze hates me.
So, on to the roadtrip.
I am in the passenger seat,
behind me
my two teenage cousins are more
barking, then talking.
Every sentence when addressing each other
ends with 'stupid'.
My aunt Pat
who's visiting from Japan,
is behind the wheel.
I groan inwardly when
she says she plans to stick to the speed limit.
10 minutes in
and we are plod plod plodding
I can count every stalk of grass
that we pass.
I glance at her
she glances at me
"what the hell. I'm on holiday!
Its not like I can't afford a speeding ticket.."
and with that,
the inner speed demon is unleashed.
Surely I've mentioned that both sides
of my family
are
equally anal
between them covering
most possible ways
of being anal.
So when it's my turn to drive
I am doing 140 kmph
(even after warning my aunt
that my other aunts once
complained
that I drive impossibly slow)
couldn't possible be outdriven by my aunt could I?
"Oh this bloody fluff is driving me nuts!"
exclaims aunt Pat,
referring to the lint from the towel
that I used to bundle myself
up from the a/c
"I hope you don't mind if I clean while you drive"
she says, whipping out a wet-one.
She starts to polish the dashboard,
"You dont mind do you?" she asks again
as she wipes the steering wheel
and around my hands
while I struggle to keep my eyes on the
road
and maintain my 140.
Fortunately, we arrive safely in the
clear skied valley.
where my uncle told us to meet him near
Vistana
and I told aunt Pat that I could get there without directions
but she didnt believe me
and got a cab to guide us
but told the others that
we had found my way all our own.
We met up with Pat's sister, Nat
and my uncle
in some mamak
where my uncle ordered curry puffs
and stared at them glumly
when they came
because he realised he was on
the Atkins Diet
his pain increasing
when the beggar refused
his mouth watering curry puffs.
Always Take Earplugs
I woke up sick and parched,
at 9 am
when my aunt called to ask us if
we wanted to go for breakfast
after much trying
I finally dropped off again
only to be woken
by the sound of the other phone ringing.
This call was greeted with an extremely brusque
" who in their right mind calls anyone
before midday on a Sunday morning?"
and slamming down of the phone
(or rather, pressing disconnect)
Next, the bell went.
"May I make your room up, Miss"
the kindly lad inquired.
I definately scowled, hell,
I think I even let out a hysterical laugh
before I gave him a gruff
"No, you most certainly may not".
As I stumbled in the dark
[I just loooveee blackout drapes]
avoiding the minefield
of early morning room service paraphenalia,
courtesy of my cousin.
I plotted my
"revenge of the bell-boy who ignored the DnD sign"
then I realised
I had dropped the sign
tottering in last night
and forgotten to put it back up.
Sleep eluding me
and throat constricted from dehydration
yet too shy to summon a butler
I groggily dressed
made my way downstairs
and drank 4 glasses of orange juice
ate a croissant with marmalade and cheese
then went up flopped into bed.
45 mins later
I was late for a casting call.
My first too.
So i'm frantically applying makeup
getting dressed
Finally all made-up,
I tip toe pass the bell-boy
that I was oh-so-rude
to this morning,
my face a mortified red.
I cab my way there
but when I finally find the place
it is deserted.
I hit LBD
order a giant cap
and though I have no issue
in sitting alone in a packed restaurant
I allow myself to become melancholy
and miss my girlfriends.
Later I go back,
the casting girl is there.
I apologise for being the reason
she has to work on a Sunday.
She smiles
and then begins endless
makeup problems.
My makeup is not strong enough
I havent brought any
and even so I dont know how to apply it
neither does she
and the make up they have
doesnt agree with me.
2 exhausting, uncomfortable
(me squirming unnaturally under the lights)
hours later,
we're done.
I cab to Ikea.
Meet up with the rest of the family.
I am weak with hunger
and still feeling feverish.
The place is jam packed.
whole families with extended uncles and aunties
are crowding aisles
enthusiastically
shouting the merits of this and that
across to each other.
I'm surprised they didnt picnic.
And the kids..
why does every bloody kid
get an empty mini-trolley
to ram into your knees and roll over your toes?
Soon we are in the car
making our way out to the highway.
My other aunt is now behind the wheel
and this one really will stick to the speed limit.
The older pair of
sisters are patronizing each other
The younger pair of sisters
occasionally bark
I was wishing for earplugs.
"We're you two as bad?"
I ask my aunts
"We were worse, we used to try and kill each other"
"We used to throw stones at each other"
"But when your grandmother came,
aunt Pat always got hit
cos she shouted,
but I always knew how to keep my voice down"
says Nat slyly.
Somehow I found that funny.
"Was it like this?
did she scream 'Nat, you bitch!' and did you then go
'*whisper* cheebai bin, kan lu boh eng la!'
So then Nat starts her 110
but then we realised we've come off an exit after
Sg. Buloh
and my cousins really want BK from
the Sg. Buloh overhead bridge
The car is on Empty
and Pat is robotically listing off
each petrol station as we pass
"We are now passing a Petronas, we are now passing a Caltex..."
Nat is non-commital
she wants Shell.
"I'm not getting out and pushing the car"
warns Pat
"Its okay, I'll push it"
Nat shoots back.
"Earplugs Appear!" I command in my mind.
Finally, a Shell.
After Rawang.
now we turn off the highway
and start the 30 min journey
back to Sg. Buloh
"Aunt Nat ," I say cautiously
"Erm..you really don't need to stick to the limit
here you know,lets just speed til Sg. Buloh"
I cajole.
"Nope" she says
From the back, Pat pipes up.
"Fuck you Nellie, if you're gonna drive like this the whole
way, you can sit in the boot and I'll drive"
"Earplugs APPEAR!" I command again.
I cannot sleep. I never can in cars or buses or trains.
I have this fixation, with whats going on outside
the window.
Its also and opportunity for me
to gather my thoughts
or get lost in my daydreams.
Soon I'm driving (I offer)
The needle on the speedometer creeps
up.
Nat is drowsily yet strictly watching.
Pat, I'm sure, is silently cheering me on.
By 9 30, we are home.
We left Ikea at 3.40.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Stop Right Now
My Boss just asked me what
I thought of The Da Vinci Code
He's listening to the audiobook.
Can you believe that?
There something about not bothering to read
as good a book as that
on your own
that seriously gets to me.
So sacrilegious.
I thought of The Da Vinci Code
He's listening to the audiobook.
Can you believe that?
There something about not bothering to read
as good a book as that
on your own
that seriously gets to me.
So sacrilegious.
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Free Publicity: Because I Say So
Today, not only did
a hunk buy me lunch
but he cooked it as well.
My meal started with a delicious
French Onion Soup
which I slurped down
trying not to lick my bowl
then came the meat
Z: would you like some meat?
me: *laughing uncontrollably*
z: (innocently) what's so funny?
me: *giggle giggle* you said 'meat'...
Rare slices of seared steak
seasoned with herbs, dijon mustard, salt and pepper
fanned out
atop a bed
of pasta in a classic tomato sauce
accompanied by sauteed vegetables.
Of course, me being me
my meal was special.
But if you factory people out there
(hint: ana, jeanette and etc.)
Want a decent set-lunch
for under 10 bucks
(starter, main, dessert, coffee)
Then hey! they're just around you're area.
You know the 7-11
(going towards BJ from Sg. Ara)
on the left of the traffic lights
after passing BJCC?
Yep, they're just beside it.
Its called La Bananas
(hey don't look at me,
I didnt pick the name
and neither did he)
And even if you're not hungry
you can just go and cuci mata
cos, he's single
hot, sensitive
polite, can dance
can cook.....
a hunk buy me lunch
but he cooked it as well.
My meal started with a delicious
French Onion Soup
which I slurped down
trying not to lick my bowl
then came the meat
Z: would you like some meat?
me: *laughing uncontrollably*
z: (innocently) what's so funny?
me: *giggle giggle* you said 'meat'...
Rare slices of seared steak
seasoned with herbs, dijon mustard, salt and pepper
fanned out
atop a bed
of pasta in a classic tomato sauce
accompanied by sauteed vegetables.
Of course, me being me
my meal was special.
But if you factory people out there
(hint: ana, jeanette and etc.)
Want a decent set-lunch
for under 10 bucks
(starter, main, dessert, coffee)
Then hey! they're just around you're area.
You know the 7-11
(going towards BJ from Sg. Ara)
on the left of the traffic lights
after passing BJCC?
Yep, they're just beside it.
Its called La Bananas
(hey don't look at me,
I didnt pick the name
and neither did he)
And even if you're not hungry
you can just go and cuci mata
cos, he's single
hot, sensitive
polite, can dance
can cook.....
I could go on, but I won't.
So just go already.
So just go already.
You Know You Want To
Come here la.
Just come.
Our air is clean, crisp.
We can see each other.
We can breathe in deeply without choking.
We have the beach.
We have good food.
Come to Penang, now.
Just come.
Our air is clean, crisp.
We can see each other.
We can breathe in deeply without choking.
We have the beach.
We have good food.
Come to Penang, now.
Doesn't it look happy? Thats cos it has fresh air. This is one of daddy's lilies,
its relevance here is that it can be seen.
its relevance here is that it can be seen.
So many have called, emailed etc.
Bitching about the bad haze.
and here I am telling you to come
but bloody hell this weekend I have to
brave the haze
yet again.
But only for one night.
So when you come right, carpool okay?
Don't come and clog up our streets with
your 'which way ar?' KL driving.
Bitching about the bad haze.
and here I am telling you to come
but bloody hell this weekend I have to
brave the haze
yet again.
But only for one night.
So when you come right, carpool okay?
Don't come and clog up our streets with
your 'which way ar?' KL driving.
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Weird
We are driving back from a meeting
when my Boss looks intently at me.
"I think you're in the wrong line", he states seriously.
me: Whaaaa? What makes you think that?
"I think you should be a match-maker"
me:Whaaat? Why on earth would you think that?
"I don't know, just a hunch"
me: Well something has to be the root of that hunch.
What sort of matchmaking have you seen me do
that would make you think so?
"I dunno, just a hunch.I just feel it."
me: Yeah, but WHY?
"From the way you speak to people
Aaron, for instance"
(Aaron and I don't speak about men/women/relationships
we just kid about)
Okay this episode of 'weirdo' isn't going anywhere,
so I let it drop.
"Maybe he meant you should make matches", says Aaron
when I incredulously tell him later.
Maybe.
when my Boss looks intently at me.
"I think you're in the wrong line", he states seriously.
me: Whaaaa? What makes you think that?
"I think you should be a match-maker"
me:Whaaat? Why on earth would you think that?
"I don't know, just a hunch"
me: Well something has to be the root of that hunch.
What sort of matchmaking have you seen me do
that would make you think so?
"I dunno, just a hunch.I just feel it."
me: Yeah, but WHY?
"From the way you speak to people
Aaron, for instance"
(Aaron and I don't speak about men/women/relationships
we just kid about)
Okay this episode of 'weirdo' isn't going anywhere,
so I let it drop.
"Maybe he meant you should make matches", says Aaron
when I incredulously tell him later.
Maybe.
A Love Affair with Arugula
After an exhausting weekend in the valley
I came home badly in need of some
'me' time.
So,
Monday saw me retreating into my own
little world
I came home, poured a glass of chardonnay
put on some music
and started cooking.
To start the ball rolling
I made a week's worth Bircher Muesli
my version of warming up
Inspired by orangette's latest post
I roasted some romas for 6 hours
also roasting some french beans
carrots and mushrooms
all Frances Mayes's Bella Tuscany
When the veg was done, but still hot
I tossed in arugula,
baby cos
shards of aged parmesan
and caramelised onions.
A salad of wilted and roasted greens.
A drizzle of that famous ranch dressing
a sprinkle of cracked black
a weird concoction, I know
but it worked.
My weekend being steadily
dissected in mind,
I moved on the the chicken.
As I dusted double sifted flour
over my Tori Karaage
I begin to wonder
"Am I being too picky?"
"Am I too scared?"
"Am I even ready?"
I can't help being picky,
there has to be some standards
like somethings you know
wont work with you
and some that will
but i'm not leaving much room for anything
to blossom
or
for compromise or change
sometimes I don't even give it a chance.
So why am I so bloody picky?
Because I'm scared?
Yes, I think so.
I'm scared of complicating my
nice, orderly,
"do what I want, when I want life".
I'm scared of the feeling of vulnerability
I'm scared of hurting
I'm scared of getting hurt
I'm scared of letting my heart go
or dealing with the complications
and responsibility of
handling another persons heart.
So I dip my toes in
allow a little bit of something
to blossom
and then I scurry away
nipping it in the bud.
Calmly watching as
"what could have been"
ebbs away, yet again.
Definately NOT ready.
But oh!
there is so much that I miss
and so much that I don't.
I came home badly in need of some
'me' time.
So,
Monday saw me retreating into my own
little world
I came home, poured a glass of chardonnay
put on some music
and started cooking.
To start the ball rolling
I made a week's worth Bircher Muesli
my version of warming up
Inspired by orangette's latest post
I roasted some romas for 6 hours
also roasting some french beans
carrots and mushrooms
all Frances Mayes's Bella Tuscany
When the veg was done, but still hot
I tossed in arugula,
baby cos
shards of aged parmesan
and caramelised onions.
A salad of wilted and roasted greens.
A drizzle of that famous ranch dressing
a sprinkle of cracked black
a weird concoction, I know
but it worked.
My weekend being steadily
dissected in mind,
I moved on the the chicken.
As I dusted double sifted flour
over my Tori Karaage
I begin to wonder
"Am I being too picky?"
"Am I too scared?"
"Am I even ready?"
I can't help being picky,
there has to be some standards
like somethings you know
wont work with you
and some that will
but i'm not leaving much room for anything
to blossom
or
for compromise or change
sometimes I don't even give it a chance.
So why am I so bloody picky?
Because I'm scared?
Yes, I think so.
I'm scared of complicating my
nice, orderly,
"do what I want, when I want life".
I'm scared of the feeling of vulnerability
I'm scared of hurting
I'm scared of getting hurt
I'm scared of letting my heart go
or dealing with the complications
and responsibility of
handling another persons heart.
So I dip my toes in
allow a little bit of something
to blossom
and then I scurry away
nipping it in the bud.
Calmly watching as
"what could have been"
ebbs away, yet again.
Definately NOT ready.
But oh!
there is so much that I miss
and so much that I don't.
Tuesday, August 09, 2005
I Got Flowers!
I got flowers! I got roses!
Wahhhhhhhh!
Forgot how it felt okay.
What a pleasant surprise!!
See?See?
Nice or not?
Wahhhhhhhh!
Forgot how it felt okay.
What a pleasant surprise!!
See?See?
Nice or not?
Monday, August 08, 2005
Player 101
After a weekend surrounded by
Players and Ex-Players
I fled the haze filled valley
for sea-breeze and coconut palms
on the shores on Penang
For Sunday brunch, I met up with
Players and Ex-Players
I fled the haze filled valley
for sea-breeze and coconut palms
on the shores on Penang
For Sunday brunch, I met up with
2 ex-players
that have recently settled down
into parenthood and marriage
with two other players..
As for the song in the post below
I reckon
that's a bit of what happens
when two players meet
and sparks fly
but they are too afraid to
give up Playerhood
and their hearts.
They also gave me
The Speedy Guide to Playerhood
after I had a free refresher in the courses
Most Men Are Bastards
&
Once An Arsehole Always An Arsehole
(no matter how cleverly disguised)
This weekend in the valley
exhausted me
I found myself sleeping in
getting into the office at 2 today
But not in a million years
would I give these weekends
up
with the girls
They keep me sane.
Like Butta, Vans and I
lying in bed
at 2 pm on Sunday afternoon
each taking turns to finish
the sentence
"My girlfriends and I....."
Like Saturday lunch,
just the four of us.
"Yes, I know, I look like an aunty ok?"
Like Saturday lunch,
just the four of us.
"Yes, I know, I look like an aunty ok?"
Like during a game of Taboo:
May practically jumping up and down on her seat
going "Donald Trump! Donald Trump!!"
when Vans went
"Okay, he travels on the Air Force One, he came before Bill Clinton.."
or Van's quizzical silence
when may said
" the saying goes girls are made of -dash- and spice"
The usual all-round
love, drama and partying
the usual places
yes, that new place velvet
Deep, soul searching talks
interspersed with
racous laughter, bitch-fits
tears, confessions, mind reading
and minimal sleep.
This is my therapy.
My Adaptation of A Song
The sun is streaming in
Over us
Spooning, entangled
You, me, the sheets
I turn
You pull me closer
Half asleep, kiss my cheek
I drift away
Awake to find… you’re gone
When were you here?
I don’t know
Alone in bed
Your hair on the pillows
Surrounded with the scent of you
The loneliness strangles me
Were you ever here?
I don’t know
Two people
Too scared to admit
to a need
Too scared to listen to their hearts
or take heed
Too scared to open their mouths
just say it
Afraid to
say it
Afraid to
listen to it
For that would make it too real
And we would have to deal with the
Consequences
So,
we turn our heads away
Too chicken to take that leap
Believing that denial
will quell it
We drift apart
Trying to say ‘come back’
In an open mouthed silence
You will not
see my scars
You will not
be my drug
You will not weaken my resolves
With the tenderness of your touch
You will not, you will not
You will not
Knock me off my feet
I won't allow it
I’d rather yearn in silence
Than expose
My heart
Over us
Spooning, entangled
You, me, the sheets
I turn
You pull me closer
Half asleep, kiss my cheek
I drift away
Awake to find… you’re gone
When were you here?
I don’t know
Alone in bed
Your hair on the pillows
Surrounded with the scent of you
The loneliness strangles me
Were you ever here?
I don’t know
Two people
Too scared to admit
to a need
Too scared to listen to their hearts
or take heed
Too scared to open their mouths
just say it
Afraid to
say it
Afraid to
listen to it
For that would make it too real
And we would have to deal with the
Consequences
So,
we turn our heads away
Too chicken to take that leap
Believing that denial
will quell it
We drift apart
Trying to say ‘come back’
In an open mouthed silence
You will not
see my scars
You will not
be my drug
You will not weaken my resolves
With the tenderness of your touch
You will not, you will not
You will not
Knock me off my feet
I won't allow it
I’d rather yearn in silence
Than expose
My heart
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