He Says, She Says

Bee: So are you sick of me yet?
Me: No, are you sick of me?

Bee: No. You're pretty surprised you're not sick of me yet
huh?
Me: Uh....*long silence* yeah, I am actually.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You see, its like this some nights,
At about 4am I will be sleeping soundly
then suddenly there will be this explosion, like
KABLAAAAMMMMM!

So loud that it will vibrate through my body and jolt me awake
my body will jump 2 inches of the mattress
and I will lay in shock wondering
"What the hell?"

And this is when it will hit my nostrils
this oily, shitty stench that will permeate the covers
and room
and I will punch the broad back in front of me and go
"Babe, WHAT THE FUCK?"

And that back, it will not budge
no fucking reply
dead to the world.

Motherfucker.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

But today, ohhh hooo, today
it was 5 am, and the Bee, he let a superone rip
and me, I kept my head far off the bed
half asleep, disgusted as hell
when I heard, through the haze of slumber, a,
"Whewww, Pheeeewwww, Pwwwewwhhh"

Me: What? You farted so bad, even you can't stand it?

He: Yeah, man it woke me up!
Man, this is bad!!

I laugh, and it could be then, or later, that
he grabs hold of my head and holds it under the
comforter.

Oh the joys of being in love!