The Daddy In Me

I must have been 14 going 15 when I was
booted out of home for bad behaviour
(mother's, not mine)

This is when I went to live with Daddy

If anything, Daddy is a supremely intelligent man
who has little patience with people
slower/less intelligent/with less common sense
than he
(which is not very nice I know, but that's just him)

Faced with his only daughter
suddenly living under his roof for the first time
Daddy and I struggled terribly to understand each other

Back then I felt he couldn't possibly fathom what I'd been through,
I suppose he thought I was young and stubborn
we were both stubborn.

But I do, digress
my original point being, 'the daddy in me'.

See, daddy doesn't put up with
people who are unobservant, unresourceful,
who don't use their heads

So for a year (or however long I lived with him)
Daddy constantly drilled
"Be more observant!"

"Pay attention to every little detail"

"Use common sense"

"Use your noggin!"

"Think laterally!"

And I suppose I came away with all this nailed fast into me
(though probably not as much as Daddy would have wished,
but chinese parents are the hardest to please)

And I know that though not necessarily more intelligent
I am somewhat more observant, resourceful than most (and less than some)

and so, sometimes, it really irks me
(read=fucking drives me mental)
when people just fail to think a step farther
when they reach a wall and stop dead
(this is it, I am done!)

its like, hello? what do you do next?
what do you do to scale that wall?
go around it?

In this day and age, when we have the internet,
Google, mobile phone directories and the like
how can you possibly stop gathering information?
how can you possibly not find any information?

Our resources are endless.
(except that of water, but different subject yeah?)

Sometimes I find it so friggin frustrating
its the kind of frustration
that makes me want to smash my head to a bloody pulp
against the corner of a stone tablet

I mean, every single day, my biggest
fear is that I don't know enough,
(or that I don't help humanity or mother nature enough)

and with everything at your doorstep,
just the click of a button away
how does anyone get away with an
"I don't know"?

"I don't know" is no longer and shouldn't have ever been
an acceptable answer

Granted, I have lots of "I don't knows"
but mine are generally followed with a
"but..I'll find out!"

What you find out, what you gain, what you become
in this day and age, is all up to you

It's whether you have the initiative; your
incentive to search/do, is you, your life
your potential, your future.

And I suppose when I feel like this,
the "How the fuck could you not know/think/try?"

or get the "Goddammit its easier to do it myself than for me to
stress out about it when you're oblivious to it's importance"
type of feeling,
that, is when the Daddy in me
seeps out of these here pores, comes out
kicking and screaming.

Then Aja kicks in, and Aja says to Daddy
"What if they just don't know?
what if it just doesn't occur to them, that things can
be done differently, what if they just weren't taught
that way?"

Then Daddy says
"Well it's time the bloody learnt".

But people, we're all so different with our
quirks, good and bad
I think what we need to learn most is
patience (some more than others).

But then hor, how much patience is too much?