If You Can't Beat Em, Join Em?

The other night a friend asked me out for coffee
I had only met him once before
and it was through a mutual friend
and this, would presumably be,'business'.

So we plan to meet at Bagan
but just as I step into my car
he calls to say it's shut
and offers to pick me up

Drives up, flash car and everything
and we decide to go for dinner instead

Italian place.
I peruse the menu
Our friend has no need to.
he summons the waitress and orders..
in Hokkien
yes, italian food, think Bistecca di Manzo

He orders wine in chinese as well
pausing to pronounce the name and type perfectly
and when I say Hokkien right, it's not hokkien
like I speak (well obviously not)
it's true gritty deep down in the dungeons of China hokkien
with the inflection of a true Ah Beng

I am cringing yet incredibly amused
because his english is pretty darn good
but so are his chinese dialects
and as he speaks he sways between chinaman and english law student
and at moments I am confused as to which is happening
"Hang on, did you mean lor or Law?"

So then we take a trishaw ride around the heritage enclave of town
because I always do this shit
and he tells me things about Penang that I never knew
and is patiently conversational when it comes to the trishaw rider's
incessant story-telling and idle chitchat

He provides a wealth of information
is knowledgeable, witty and possesses a saccharine tongue
is cultured, yet, not so
(appreciates the best of worldy western pleasures,
yet can squat over a drain for Curry Mee)

and at times he was markedly flippant with the wait-staff
(which is the complete opposite of me having experienced that end of the spectrum,
unless they are really terrible of course. Or PMS)

and he just may have sniffed the wine cork

yet this point may be negligible because
as much as I know sniffing the wine cork tells one nothing,
(you are actually to look at the cork
for 3 reasons:
Is it crumbly? Is the end wet? and are there stains round the side?
these things tell you if the wine has been stored properly)

Yet, I can never resist doing it if the cork is set before me

So sue me, I like the smell of cock.oops.
cork, I meant.

I forget the point of my telling this story though

(Sorry this was actually written much much earlier
and today I've been running around like a mad cow
in an hour I leave for Pangkor Laut
then tomorrow, the smog filled valleys of KL
to meet my goddaughter (=)

Ah yes, it wasn't just to state my 'Ah Beng Encounter'
(and the fact that it was enjoyably amusing rather than horrific)
but it also struck me that even out to dinner with a friend
I'm observing each move, ticking boxes.

Sigh.