Thursday, October 20, 2005

Back to the Land of Blog

Peter text or called me
quite a while ago
inquiring if I was still alive

He said my absence from the Land of Blog
worried him so
Yeah, I guess I should be worried too

More than a week unblogged
is a lot for Aja

I haven't written because the stuff(besides work)
that takes up most of my thoughts
these days
are unbloggable

Because I have nothing happy to talk about
and if I do it's a secret

I feel like work diarrhea-ed on my head
today one of the chinese ed designers
reached the culmination lemma! what the fuck-ness
and me...well, what could I say?
zilch.

Today I reached my breaking point
work stress
emotional stress
and my inability to fathom how
some people can do the things that they do
Penang is too much for me right now
thats why I'm going to KL
tomorrow
yeah la, that and Stevo's Big Day

I spent 5 hours last Saturday morning
trying to talk someone out of aborting
a 6 month old fetus
the more I talked the
more adamant she became
as I struggled to not give up hope
struggled to try and find some sort of understanding within me
how could anyone be so ignorant to the
risks and complications?
so inhumane?
To carry a child for 6 months
what's another 3 months without freedom
when you give an adoptive family a lifetime of happiness?

I thought I succeeded
but I guess it was never meant to be
I don't know why it affects me so
I don't know why I let it

Then I went home to frantically
cook for some high-school reunion cum pot luck thing
where Ah Beng, The little one and I took photos of our feet
and I went back early cos got eee-mer-gency

And as if that morning wasnt emotionally taxing enough
the sweetest man on the face earth
who contributed alot
to making this birthday the best ever
decided to tell me that
he wanted to be with me
and that he had said goodbye to the constant in his life
because of that

Yeah I guess that should be Happy Happy Tra-La-la
news..
But really, it isn't
Its godawfully tragic

Because I cannot,
I cannot risk a heart like that
So to prevent from hurting him later
I have to hurt him now.

Okay, I'll try and inject some cheer in here.
On Monday was Ah May's birthday,
we went to Bagan and cha-cha-ed with her aunts
On Tuesday
I went to the Alliance Francaise in an attempt of self betterment
Pardon, pouves vous repeter lentement s'il vous pait?

And as though work isn't enough of a bitch
I squeezed in a review at lunch on Wednesday
Cursed that I had to go to it
while I drove towards it already 10 mins late
but the moment I found the place..
boy was I glad.
Location a bit dodgy
be seriously charming 400 year old building
hand-painted indian tile floor
marble topped tables
high ceilings
antique wooden doors
and traditional teowchew food
in little tapas style servings

Wah, fell in love man.

That night was supposed to be May's Bday dinner
so I hurriedly emailed them all
changed location
to that little gem.

I (think) they were impressed.

Celyn, I take you next time k?

Anyway pictures to come.

Yay! Tomorrow I 'll finally see CLEAR!
Tomorrow, got party somemore at the Ivy.
Black and white theme,what to wear.
Kay_ell should be good RIGHT?
Better right???


3 comments:

mob1900 said...

Ivy, in-between Loft and BSV, rite?
there's this indian uncle there who thinks he's James Brown incarnated with aviator jacket, wet-greasy curls and pot-bellied he snuck-up to every girl at Ivy's thinking he's God's gift to women. and oh, he's really short.

Hope you won't bump into him. have fun!

Eaglet said...

Aiii!thnkas for the heads up. I shall bring my baseball bat.. (=

Anonymous said...

Abortion - touchy subject. I've known people who had abortions before and when they were ready to have kids they couldn't. Everytime they get high they get all paranoid and start saying crazy stuff like God is getting back at them for their past sins. Now they even get all emotional among babies and kids but they won't consider adoption. Sigh. To each his/her own, I guess.