Spelling It Out

So my aunt and I are driving today, discussing relationships
a couple,close friends of ours broke-up and they say that
he will have a harder time than her, and that he really wants
her and is sorry.

So then the question 'has he tried to get her back' was posed
'yes, he said he tried, once...'
and to this we burst into incredulous laughter
because its true, I won't generalise, but most men are lazy
and haven't a clue, its laughable.

All they do is lament on losing her, and do nothing to win her back,
you don't try once and give up, because that makes you a lazy fuck of a failure
that shows that when you say you 'want' it is not a driven,
true-to-the-core want, the try hard and not give up till you get it type.

If a woman who doesn't care for a man anymore,
she wouldn't give him the time of day, ignore his calls,
and forget he even exists

A woman who cares, will still entertain you
and as long as she does, you have a chance.

But when you hurt her, or disappoint her, you have to work
doubly hard, to prove you're sorry, prove you need her,
prove you'll fight for her, or do anything for her.

And that's where most young men fail, they think they say
'sorry' and they've done their duty, enough
and end up regretting it and suffering in 'macho' silence for
god knows how long

the older ones know, how to pamper,to romance and woo
maybe because they learnt their lesson along the way
or maybe because they just appreciate and understand a woman more

I had an ex who finally plucked up the courage to ask me
if we still had a chance two years after we split and another
quasi-ex who never fails to tell me how much he would like
to take care of me.

Chances are, when a girl is throes of a break-up,(or even before)
other guys are pouncing, and really, when other guys are trying
their hardest to dazzle her, and you hardly lift a finger..
well the battle is already over.

Same case with my current ex. Says he's sorry, but just says it.
Does nothing to prove it. He tells me to go and visit him
so I go along with it, because I would like to see him and maybe
have some closure over this too.

But he's working see, so I ask him
"What will I do all day and through dinner while you work?"
and he tells me to stay in and watch TV
I can do that at home thanks very much.

And this is where lack of consideration, imagination, creative thought,
personal touch or true desire to make up or impress me escapes him.

I would have thought it was simple, anyone who knows me
knows I adore good food and being pampered, so why not
set up a spa visit and perhaps buy me a nice dinner, even
if I have to eat it on my own? If I am pampered and happy
doesn't that ultimately benefit you too?

He tells me he doesn't try because there is no chance
Well you never know till you fucking try!
I see him as a giver-upper who doesn't want me enough
and that, coupled with how much he already took me for granted
......well I'm speechless.

When you've damaged something fragile, you cant point back in history
and say, "this is what I did for you then"
well honey, you've changed since then
You need to show some effort in fixing it
A girl needs to know she's needed, wanted, loved, how much does
THAT need to be said.

Surprise her somewhere, take her on a day-trip, jump up in front of her
somewhere and tell her you can't bear another day without her,
do something unexpected, send her flowers ,go out of your way to do something
different, show extra EFFORT,or give her something special, or write something
and especially when other guys are vying for her, you need to show her
why you or ..... fuck it. Maybe I just don't speak Martian.

Otherwise she thinks you're just ready for fresh meat,
which is probably true, except you can't stand the thought
of another man getting the love that you once got.

Its like you need to spell it out to them, in black and white
or picture books, or exercise blocks or simply worded manual

Christ almighty even my grand uncle who told me he that
if he was younger he would marry me (all this at his wife's funeral)
well, even he wanted me more.

You guys are one sorry example of love, all you know is how to take
so you take and take, and the girl gives you so much, (I know without
a doubt that I gave my ex so much, and it was unique and it was true from
the depths of my soul, love)
but when it comes to your turn to reciprocate, your approach
is just boring and predictable.

And a couple of months down the line, you'll kick yourself and say
why didn't I try harder?
I know, why do you think M still calls till this day?

But by then, some other guy will have swept her off her feet.