Merry Christmas!

Hi my lovelies!
Merry Christmas everyone, sorry I haven't replied to sms
and all, I am in Prague and have no phone credit.

Christmas has been awesome,
imagine staying in an upmarket hostel with nearly 60
other people, making new friends every morning
sitting down to dinner with new friends every evening
today I cooked for 7 people and feel immensely
satisfied;

Today I strolled in the Old Town Square and ate tender, juicy
spit-roasted pork, a czech hotdog, a deep-fried bread slathered
with garlic, tomatoes and cheese called langoste?

I listened to carollers on stage in -1 degree weather
lit by the lights on a 40 foot christmas trees
frost, crystalising on the cars, cold seeping into the soles
of my shoes

I've sat and talked to someone from Romania,Mozambique, Germany,
America and Australia
I've shared cooking tips with people that hang around the stove
watching me cook.

I've had Christmas turkey supper with 60 people from
all around the globe; been karaokeing, in a gay bar
with a bunch of 15 americans and australians
taken the tram back well happy with a 15 year old boy

I guess this Christmas is good, though
I miss family and wasn't able to call.

Tomorrow I go to Cesky Krumlov
where bears guard the moat around the castle (=

Hmm

Hmm.. don't know why lor, no mood to blog.
Maybe its because I am not at home and my family isn't creating
chaos around me.

So I'll just be random.
(not that that isn't normal)

Jimmy Choo is suing Marks & Sparks over
a handbag that they supposedly copied

NMTP made a christmas cake, and yesterday she frosted it
while YM insisted on a father christmas figure on the top
but father christmas made the cake too big for the box
and NMTP tried to fit it in to no avail
"Ah fucking father christmas!You have to go."
:O
Me: You sworeded!At father christmas!

We then set around the table and played our
first game of Taboo
with YM yelling that I am a pillock!

Keep thinking about Vanessa, dunno why.
Her and her "Babe ah, doesn't your ceiling give you a headache?"

You know what I wonder?
With Christmas being such a huge affair
how many people get in debt over it?
A lot I guess.
As is, I find myself buying presents I can't afford
thinking twice, then deciding that I absolutely
must give, and heck if one must owe a bit for awhile
then that's that.
I'm guessing it's not just me.

Thats all for today folks! Off to Prague this weekend!
So If I don't get internet there
Happy Christmas and
Merry New Year!

O' Christmastime

This is a fairy
she lives on my aunt's (real) christmas tree

A tiny glimpse of my cousin's pelvis there
as she serves up some mighty good grub
(Daddy will say cholestrol laden, but Daddy isn't here
is he?)

Eggs Benedict. Delicious despite intial "I can't cook"
kitchen flutterings by Ms.Hungover (office parties!)


Dirty Dancing. The one musical I really really really want to see
(well amongst others that I really really want to see)
sold out til JUNE 07
also fastest seeling musical ever in the West End
Bleh.

 

The Ivor Novello Theatre is where
we watched Much Ado
I found it slighty draggy at the start
but throughly enjoyed it after.

There were 9 of us, and later we went out for
supper at an italian place
made me think of Bella with my family.

Covent Garden at Christmastime- nothing like it.


Street performer thrilling the crowd
with his uh..ability to kneel..

Window of the Cornish Pasty Co. I think.

 

 

Hundreds of Santas swarming the
streets on rollerblades.

Over and out.

 

I Am A Bad Blogger

So sue me.
I went from blogging weekdays
to blogging weekends, if at all.

Am currently in London, where I have had
chilli con carne for the 5th time this week
whoop-dee-doo!
But seriously, I like it
chilli makes you shit.

We're in London at YM's birthday request
he turns 14 in 17 minutes
I can't wait to see Covent Garden all lit up tomorrow
we will also watch Much Ado

Funny how we left Cardiff and I was
all happy smiley in my reflection in the window
then mother called, laughing
"What's wrong, why are you laughing?"
I asked, which in retrospect seems like an odd question
but it was odd to me that she called laughing
hysterically at 1 am her time
she was briskly cut off by the man
who I then spoke briefly to in Chinese
then got of the phone, happy mood vanished
oh bother, mother.

Moving on, I do quite like roasted parsnips
all sweet and caramelised, crunchy yet spongey.

Read an interesting post at IB's a few days ago
something about 'Career woman, marriage and why you
can't do both'
and in it I found it extremely funny and true
that women have gone on about women's lib
and equal opportunity so much that now,
when we want to revert to being housewives
the men aren't having any it.

Not that house-wifery is easy,
personally I love it, what I don't like though
is having to depend on someone else.
As much as I cry independence and me, myself and I,
just as soon as I find a man to trust with my
life, that's done (;
I think I just want to be taken care of, but I don't you
know what I mean?

Its got to do with history, family background and pride.
Over and out.

Sodden Sunday

Because the trains go 1 every 2 hours on Sundays
I have to leave at half ten
to make it to town in time for my noon
lunch appointment with Leyna

The clouds are letting it all out
and I get there early
curled on a couch at her local starbucks
with an upside down caramel macchiato

Later we are seated in a Japanese restaurant
which is clearly chinese run
"What'll you have?" I ask her
"Well I'll have a salmon ramen, unagi kabayaki
as a side, then decide on sushi after"
she announces in all seriousness as my eyes bug

Later her ramen and eel arrive
"Leyna that bowl is nearly 2 times the size of your
head" I say. She polishes it anyway.

The girl is pint sized!

We are talking about food and restaurants in
Penang, when she starts telling me bout one in BM
"Wait, let me just say that BM is so not Penang", I interrupt

"But you go to Bagan all the time
what's there in Bagan?Its worse than BM!"
she squeals.

This is when I explain to her that Bagan
is a posh jazz bar located in Penang
close to Gurney, and not in Bagan Ajam.

See this is what happens when people
don't go back home for 6 years.

Sorry, tried to wikipedia Bagan Ajam and BM
but there was nothing of significance.
See what I mean?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After lunch I trudged 15 mins in the rain
back to town, where I met a couple that
I have decide to part-time for.
Coincidence?
He's welsh, she's syrian
and guess where they honeymooned?
Penang, Malaysia.

This world works in such mysterious ways.

The Rocky Horror Show

The family has just finished partaking
without complaint in my
meal of jasmine rice, masak lemak and
nana's kunyit chicken (baked, not deep fried)

It is half six and our show is at half seven
we are about to leave
the men are upstairs, I am downstairs getting my coat
and NMTP is in my loo

Suddenly I hear Dadman
"YM, didn't you say the show started at half 7?
Says here on the ticket its 6pm"
I stiffen with anticipation of whats to come.
"Noooooo, it can't be!" shrieks YM
in a flood of tears
angry and upset doesn't begin...

"Whats the matter?" asks NMTP when she emerges and
sees me stock still at the bottom of the stairs
I quickly explain and she dashes up
hurriedly bundling a hysterical
YM, me and Dadman out of the house.

"Whats the point?" shouts YM
punching the car ceiling
"They won't let us in, its already started!"

"Oh hush, we'll drive like the wind and
find a way to get in," says NMTP

But YM is inconsolable
he is sobbing his heart out, yet throwing
a fit like no other at the same time

"I knew something would go wrong!
I've been looking forward to this, my birthday treat
for FOUR months! Nobody thought to check!"
he shouts, punching the seat.

"Stop it, this is disgusting behaviour!
You wont make anything better by doing this!"
retorts NMTP, who is rarely ruffled.

"I will NOT stop it!
It makes ME feel better!" roars YM.

I rub his shoulders.

We swing into the theatre. They tell us that there's no point
going in.

"What about the next show?"
Only 2 singles left, it is the last show of the season

All around us men are dressed in fish-nets and bustiers
white-lab coats, stillettos
The women bare even more.

YM is desolate.

"What about house-seats?" ask NMTP
as the receptionist raises his eyebrow
"We're in the business" she smirks
"oh well, we can give you 3, but you'll have to buy
1 ticket," he says

"We'll take it!"

Later we stroll the winter wonderland
I hand each member of the family
a satsuma that I secretly squirrelled pocket-ways
before the big brou-ha-ha

As we watch people skid about in the ice-rink
and crash into the barrier
warming our hands with cups off mulled wine

I nudge YM
"Good tantrum," I say
"Yeah, haven't had one of those in ages"
he says
"Hmm I just mentioned that the other day,
guess I spoke too soon" pipes NMTP

"You know, it really did make me feel better
once I'd gotten it out," YM tells us

"And I suppose YM, that to a certain extent, you're
right, its not a bad thing. You let all
your anger out at home and don't go
out and do stupid things like drugs and stuff.
And you apologise."

And its true. If you would have seen the tantrum...
and what amazed me more is,
YM didn't swear, not once.

Which wouldn't be surprising if he didn't swear period
but he does, sometimes with me
and believe me, if I was in that state
I'd have cussed like a trucker.

Rocky Horror Show
turned out to be pretty darn enjoyable
especially for the audience participation
damn cool how everyone comes dressed up
and entire theatre, on their feet
singing and dancing to the
late night, double feature, picture show..

Hug Me Biatch!

From Tree Hugging

Hug Me Biatch!

From Tree Hugging

Ascend

Breaking Out The Belacan

The family have gone somewhere
like I knew they would.

Today I have offered to cook coconutty vegetable curry
what mom calls Masak Lemak and Por-por called Lodeh
a key ingredient is Belacan
something I will attempt for the first time
to use in white-people land.

So, they are gone and I whip it out
hurriedly toasting it on a hot pan
heart fluttering wildly in my chest
as the prawny fumes permeate the three floors

This is how I find myself standing outside
on the garden step in 6 degree weather,
hot pan cooling in my hand and beanie warming my head

Then, I run around the house and throughly
douse it with Dettol Neutra Air.

No complaints yet. Wish me luck

Tonight, we watch The Rocky Horror Show.

Photos

From A Walk in Pen...

Thoughts At Random

I've been lazy, ooh boy have I been lazy
Lets call it Sunday's hangover leftovers
Dropping the kid of at school, coming home,
napping til 1pm, neglecting emails
eating curry mee, that sort of thing.

~~~~~~~~~~~
You know whats really bugging me?
The weather.
For December, its simply not cold enough
I mean, come on, 10-14 degrees?
What is that?
Everyone is saying it just doesn't feel like
Christmas.

And worse yet, the weather in Prague is the same
means no snow there either
generally tops the 'suckiness' scale
bloody global warming

Have you not watched Ms Universe before?
Save the planet!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Last night I went to YM's school concert
they did all sorts of things,
modern, classical, baroque
but in the choir, a young boy, maybe about 10
started ahead of the group twice, missing cue
and through the entire song after, he alternated
between trying to continue singing and mortifying-ly scrunching up his face
to try and hold the tears back, to no avail
my heart broke for him.

In front row, in front of the school, in front of the parents
scarred for life.

Later I reflected that if I could not handle it in
a child I didn't know, how would I ever do it
in my own? Die lah.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I had the strangest dream last night
about my aunt, and exes
and that she got back with one
and my grandmother said something heartbreaking over
it to her, and as she recounted it to me
I cried too.

How dumb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Carpet smells like puke, still.
Thats it, over and out.

To The Owner Of This Spanking Sequinned Hat

A few angles just to make sure its yours
and to tell you its now mine
perfect for New Year celebrations
And yes, anal people out there,
I've baked it to kill lice (;
Who cares where it came from?

 

Wine Lips (Last Weekend)

More here

 

Lightweight!

Went to Leyna's birthday dinner today
think we drank six bottles of wine amongst us girls
since I am unused to going out
and drinking so much (am socially inept)
by midnight I bailed and took a cab home
alternating between passing out and chucking on my carpet

I finally woke close to 4 am
and thought "oh my god, I am in so much trouble"
which I was, for there was this man, practically growling
in my ear, from trying to reach me since
god-knows-when
and never have I felt so chastised
ever
even my parents don't make me that sorry
and I was, genuinely so.

Once I'd apologised like at 12 year old
cleaned the crust of my carpet
and
ate my indo mee goreng
I felt almost half okay
and begun to wonder where the hell that
gold, sequined hat came from?

_______________________________________________

The family stirs late on Sundays
It is 11am when they finally make their way downstairs
for breakfast.

I open my eyes and lie in bed blinking
wondering for a full ten minutes
if I can muster the strength to get up
wondering, if I have a hangover

My hair is rank so I wake because I am anal
and must wash it.hangover or not.

I greet them good morning
"Was I loud coming in last night?"
I ask NMTP and Dadman
"You were roaring and singing at the top of your voice!"
exclaims Dadman
at the same time, NMTP says
"Not particularly, why?"
Then she realises I must have been plastered
and continues with
"Not particularly if you don't count falling over the cats
and grunting an almighty 'fuck!'
then falling down the stairs and slamming the door shut!"

I laugh, they laugh, I tell them I had fun,
but just got drunk, because I'm not used to going out anymore
"Awww" they say, "Its not like we chain you to the house all the time
you know? sometimes we set you free"

I sit at the table and NMTP places
two mandarins in front of me
Vitamin C for my hangover
Dadman makes me tea
YM wants to know all the gory details
especially where that sequinned cap came from.

And hangover or not, you can't help but feel
the family-ness of it all.

Wahey! Builder Type Men

Yes, more of them.
I thought it was like 3 days and OVER but today got somemore.

So anyways, they're downstairs and I am upstairs (duh)
reading my reader comments via email
when I came across this one

Your ketiak comment in that recent post was so random that it weirded me out for a moment...now every time I look at my ketiak I'll think of you looking at YOUR ketiak while thinking of your aunt. Now look what you did. You broke-d my mind.

Made me laugh damn loud non-stop! now
they think I am crazy.

Cannot stop laughing.
I am sorry I broke-d your mind.

That Feeling Called Love

We are having light-hearted conversation
when she says, randomly, out of the blue
"When did you stop loving Martin?"

Wow, talk about changing the subject, I am taken aback
at something so completely unexpected.

"I just want to know, curious."

But I instantly know her, because
thats they way you try to be with the people
you love, in tune.

"When I left the final time," I say.

And sure, a certain green-eyed hunk may have been
catalyst, but my ex did something the night
I left him, that caused the last tenacious threads
we hung by to snap so completely
made me leave my home of 2 years(3?)
without much more than the clothes on my back.

And after that day, I seriously
knew that it was over for good.

"Why, you still love XXXXXXXXX right?" I say

"I don't know why its taking so long," she says

"Love is like that one, can't control it, it controls you"
I tell her.
"Plus your ends weren't cut clean."

Closure. Such a big thing really.
Never quite lets you move on
till you have it.

Love is so complicated that I've learnt
that its best to keep it simple, not expect
give where you can, take what you're handed
not to fight it; to expect to suffer in some form.

And believe me, I am a pine-r.
Look at me, cloudy days make me depressed
heartache, I positively wallow it.

Its life mah! Feel everything to the max.
=D

Some people get over relationships in the
blink of an eye;
some people claim they love you today,
tomorrow, they're gone

and some hang on, til they do all
they needed to do, til they feel all hope is
gone, or they wait, and who knows?
attain once again.

Some relationships leave such a bad taste in the mouth
that 20 years later, people don't forget
though I don't think that is healthy
I know people just can't help it.

Didn't Tennyson say
"Its better to have loved and lost
than to never have loved at all"?

I particularly like
"Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth
until the hour of separation"

Boilermen

YM is in the kitchen with me
When he thinks no one is looking, he comes up close to my ear and whispers

“ Do not leave me alone with dees people, zey will take me roughly in their van!”

His accent is german, and this is Dieter, a neurotic suicidal man;
one of his best characters.

Dieter always makes me laugh.

I throw my head back,giggle;
instantly four pairs of eyes snap towards me.

There is nothing more flattering than having your boiler replaced.
The boiler in your home I mean.

First there is the man who comes to drop the new boiler off.
“Morning, my lovely,” he says, tipping his cap.

The next morning, a group of 4 men come in early
and stay the whole day.

Its is a steady chorus of ‘dear’ ‘lovely’ and the like
In fact you could be doing something in the kitchen and turn and find a
young, strapping lad quickly lower his eyes from watching you.

Or you could walk down the hall and say good morning
and render another dumbfounded for a moment.
They work extra hard and seem to not mind
staying late.

Then the next morning comes the electrician who calls you a ‘pretty lass’
and seems sorry that his job is quick and simple, and done.

Tomorrow I will wake, snug and warm in this now automatically heated
home, and the attention will be like a dream, gone.

December Is Come!!!

Whoo Hoo!

I have received my first (and I suspect only)
Christmas gift, it came in the mail
slipped between the lips of a card
a CD of songs, sung between best friends
how sweet.

So, randomness is me.

Everytime I look at my ketiak I think of aunty Pat
I better be as lucky man.

Why does water have to be so complicated?
Still, sparkling, distilled, hard, soft
Jay-sus.

You know, I was sitting outside YM's school today
looking at young teenage girls
(not that way, you perv!)
and I realised that I don't remember
the period between having breasts and none

You get me?
I don't remember the lumpy training-bra period
I feel like a life-altering chunk of my life
is lost.

Also sitting in same spot
I wondered if its illegal for 23
(god, I am 23!)
year olds to perv at (what they hope are) 17 year old boys?

And still there, I thought about how much I want kids;
you should see them, tiny tots in karate suits
bitchy teenage girls and pimply boys
there is this split second flash
when parents pick their child up
a tiny moment where both sides faces light
up with the sight of each other
the anticipation of knowing you're seeing
someone who loves you, unconditionally

And all these things made my mind wander further;
life.

Yesterday I spoke to people in 2 other countries
one just having got married, migrated (again)
another just having become a father, 3 days ago
one wondering where life will take her in the next few months
the other hit with the reality
that now there is not one, but three to take care of.

Me, I am here, trying to decide whether
I should go back to Penang next year, risk and start a business
or keep traveling, writing, experiencing

In another country another good friend has just sold
a lakeside mansion, a multi-million dream home
for the comforts of a cosy place a quarter the size
And that, represents a closed chapter

Another friend has missed a period
and knows that any choice she makes at this point
will change her forever

We are all making huge, life decisions here

All around the world, we are closing, opening doors
and I'm feeling this sudden rush
this inundation of choices, decisions
and I can't help but reflect on life 5 years ago
and life now
and how far I've come
how it seems like I've gotten on this roller-coaster
and can't get off;
adrenalin, eagerness to see over the next hill
and sheer terror at the prospect of what I might find.

Sometimes you just want to stop this train, catch your breath.

And when I look back, I can see so cleary, the girl I
used to be, lost to me now
and yet I can't pin-point exactly when she became a woman.