Whoo Hoo!
I have received my first (and I suspect only)
Christmas gift, it came in the mail
slipped between the lips of a card
a CD of songs, sung between best friends
how sweet.
So, randomness is me.
Everytime I look at my ketiak I think of aunty Pat
I better be as lucky man.
Why does water have to be so complicated?
Still, sparkling, distilled, hard, soft
Jay-sus.
You know, I was sitting outside YM's school today
looking at young teenage girls
(not that way, you perv!)
and I realised that I don't remember
the period between having breasts and none
You get me?
I don't remember the lumpy training-bra period
I feel like a life-altering chunk of my life
is lost.
Also sitting in same spot
I wondered if its illegal for 23
(god, I am 23!)
year olds to perv at (what they hope are) 17 year old boys?
And still there, I thought about how much I want kids;
you should see them, tiny tots in karate suits
bitchy teenage girls and pimply boys
there is this split second flash
when parents pick their child up
a tiny moment where both sides faces light
up with the sight of each other
the anticipation of knowing you're seeing
someone who loves you, unconditionally
And all these things made my mind wander further;
life.
Yesterday I spoke to people in 2 other countries
one just having got married, migrated (again)
another just having become a father, 3 days ago
one wondering where life will take her in the next few months
the other hit with the reality
that now there is not one, but three to take care of.
Me, I am here, trying to decide whether
I should go back to Penang next year, risk and start a business
or keep traveling, writing, experiencing
In another country another good friend has just sold
a lakeside mansion, a multi-million dream home
for the comforts of a cosy place a quarter the size
And that, represents a closed chapter
Another friend has missed a period
and knows that any choice she makes at this point
will change her forever
We are all making huge, life decisions here
All around the world, we are closing, opening doors
and I'm feeling this sudden rush
this inundation of choices, decisions
and I can't help but reflect on life 5 years ago
and life now
and how far I've come
how it seems like I've gotten on this roller-coaster
and can't get off;
adrenalin, eagerness to see over the next hill
and sheer terror at the prospect of what I might find.
Sometimes you just want to stop this train, catch your breath.
And when I look back, I can see so cleary, the girl I
used to be, lost to me now
and yet I can't pin-point exactly when she became a woman.
I have received my first (and I suspect only)
Christmas gift, it came in the mail
slipped between the lips of a card
a CD of songs, sung between best friends
how sweet.
So, randomness is me.
Everytime I look at my ketiak I think of aunty Pat
I better be as lucky man.
Why does water have to be so complicated?
Still, sparkling, distilled, hard, soft
Jay-sus.
You know, I was sitting outside YM's school today
looking at young teenage girls
(not that way, you perv!)
and I realised that I don't remember
the period between having breasts and none
You get me?
I don't remember the lumpy training-bra period
I feel like a life-altering chunk of my life
is lost.
Also sitting in same spot
I wondered if its illegal for 23
(god, I am 23!)
year olds to perv at (what they hope are) 17 year old boys?
And still there, I thought about how much I want kids;
you should see them, tiny tots in karate suits
bitchy teenage girls and pimply boys
there is this split second flash
when parents pick their child up
a tiny moment where both sides faces light
up with the sight of each other
the anticipation of knowing you're seeing
someone who loves you, unconditionally
And all these things made my mind wander further;
life.
Yesterday I spoke to people in 2 other countries
one just having got married, migrated (again)
another just having become a father, 3 days ago
one wondering where life will take her in the next few months
the other hit with the reality
that now there is not one, but three to take care of.
Me, I am here, trying to decide whether
I should go back to Penang next year, risk and start a business
or keep traveling, writing, experiencing
In another country another good friend has just sold
a lakeside mansion, a multi-million dream home
for the comforts of a cosy place a quarter the size
And that, represents a closed chapter
Another friend has missed a period
and knows that any choice she makes at this point
will change her forever
We are all making huge, life decisions here
All around the world, we are closing, opening doors
and I'm feeling this sudden rush
this inundation of choices, decisions
and I can't help but reflect on life 5 years ago
and life now
and how far I've come
how it seems like I've gotten on this roller-coaster
and can't get off;
adrenalin, eagerness to see over the next hill
and sheer terror at the prospect of what I might find.
Sometimes you just want to stop this train, catch your breath.
And when I look back, I can see so cleary, the girl I
used to be, lost to me now
and yet I can't pin-point exactly when she became a woman.
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