I thought this woman had the most
interesting face, and sneakily took pictures of her

M and I trudged through chinatown and covent garden
then to starbucks for caramel macchiatos
then back home, if only to get ready to go out that night
we went here, and I really liked the place


Compare, above and below?
Do we look alike?
no.

But as I walked up to the BBC bar on Friday,
the bartendar looked at me and gave me a cheery smile
and wave, I thought he was being friendly
in a weird kind of way
later when M stood beside me, he said
"Oh I thought she was you!"
and these are people who've seen her nearly everyday
in 6 years.


I like this pic, because its all
mysterious/futuristic like
gives me a headache
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday 6.40pm:
M meets me at reception, and I am tagged
like a cow and herded into the bar

They have all been drinking for yonks
and the place is packed, teeming
she introduces me, same way she always does
(=
"This is my cousin Aja,
but we're the same people "

"Except she's white and I am not"

"And I am smarter"

"But I am prettier"

"But I am taller"

No lah, actually it doesn't go that far.
We tell people about how we never met till I was 12 and when we
did we just clicked and how we've been close since
then, despite, hardly seeing each other.

Later, I tried to discreetly pour wine from
my full goblet, into my water glass
legless, my first night in London
was not something I wanted to be.

M leans over
"You are so totally my cousin," she says, eyeing
the glasses in my hand
"as we speak right now, I am pouring mine on the
floor."

We do this for a few rounds till she snaps
"stop pouring your wine into my shoe!"

Then we go home
and for 5 days, I have her singing
or humming "Close to You".

 

What Happens When You Set Us Loose in Chinatown

 

Back In Cardiff

I arrived, like, 10 minutes ago.

The cats thoughtfully shit by my toilet
bowl.

I am fucking stressed.
So.God.damn.fucking.stressed.out.of.
my.mind.

I want it all to go away.

I want to stop having to fucking worry about
every bloody detail.

BLEH.
What can I hit?

Food

Crispy Ginger Calamari with Citrus Aioli
recipe courtesy of the chef down under
given the thumbs up by the family.

Tomorrow, I am in London for 6 days,
so happy chinese new year ppl!

Send me angpows!

 

He Says, She Says

He: So, do your flowers look nice? Are they alright?
I ordered them off the internet, so I was worried
they wouldn't be good.

Me: Yeah, they look great!
But, baby.....

He: Hmmm?

Me: Uh.......why did you choose purple roses?

He: PURPLE!?!

Me:...yeah, purple roses, thats what you got right?

He: ?!?!?

Me: Hahaha got you!

He: Baby, you are such a bitch.

Why The Bee Is The Bomb

I do feel quite horrible, what with me being
the Bah!HumbugValentine'sDayMoaner
then noontime, the knocker falls
and its the same delivery man, who does all
my deliveries, the one who always asks
' Aja Nuh-Gerh?'

'Yes, it is I' said I as I flung the door wide
and eyed the gargantuan box at this feet
'Looks like someone loves you!' he announced, handing
me the box and flouncing off.

So yes, me being Bah!HumbugValentine'sDayMoaner
and the Bee being such a sweet romantic hopeful
made me feel jadedoldandwickedyscroogerytype
and feel bad. In a way that should use superlatives.

Maybe I was wrong, maybe Valentine's day isn't so
annoying after all =) Maybe the Bee is the best thing
since sliced bread.

Maybe he is, today. Or always.
Or sometimes always.

But today for sure.

Polish Cabbage Rolls

Haven't made this since ... well nevermind
since when you nosey bastard!

"Hmmm you are pretty good at this cooking lark
aren't you Aja, this is excellent!" said Dadman
I have almost forgotten that he's used that line
before, we know he certainly has forgotten, but the thought is
genuine and thats all that matters.

Earlier I took YM to the South African
cafe to encourage chin-upped-ness =(
By evening he was feeling cheery and
pranced about the kitchen while I was cooking,
pretending to be his father.

"Do you often use chopsticks to cook in Malaysia?"

"Do chinese people like cheese?"

he asks me 50 times in a row, just to see how
many times I can change my answers, as I do
with his dad.

=D

V-Day Is All Hype!

Isn't it? Isn't it?
All this goddamn pressure to be romantic
'extra' affectionate, go out and scream couple-hood
pay extortionate prices for mediocre set meals.

Puh-leeease.

Do me a favour, make everyday special
not just one.

I can't even remember what I did last year
looking back in the archives
it says I watched Prime with my aunt
ate at Pastasia
and it was also the first time I spoke to MTP (;
and walked down 13 flights of stairs so as to not
get cut off with her

The archives also show Feb 06
as a pretty eventful month
woo-ed by a beng and all
LOL

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am really beginning to like Tuesdays,
its the evening I go out and leave the men
to fend for themselves at supper
most times I buy them ready meals
but today I prepared half a meal for them to finish and heat
when they wanted to eat

The thing is, it being my one night away
when I come home, they seem so subtly thrilled
that I am home, and both gather around the
supper table (even though they've eaten)
a chatter a mile a minute with me

Feels nice, this unspoken appreciation.

Today's hot topic was that tomorrow, YM
for the first time in his life, will attempt to ask a girl out
Dadman I think, is almost as nervous as YM
"You have to be nonchalant, no matter what the reaction,"
he says, just about every 5 minutes

"God, shut up dad, you're making me even more nervous!" says YM

'You have to be nonchalant, keep your cool."

"Aja, is this a broken record or what?" complains YM

And its sweet, it really is, because we're all
so nervous and excited for him.

'"So yes" I say, "Take her to a movie, and for god's sake
don't try and touch her!"

"Yes," agrees Dadman "Take her to the back row and.."
Dadman jokingly trails off and claps his hand over his mouth

YM and I simultaneously clap our hands over our
ears and scream

"Next you'll be telling me to lock my room door
like you and mummy did 2 weeks ago on your
anniversary night!" shrieks YM

:O

Justin Timberlake

Hmm I hate to say this but Justin Timberlake is HOT. Hawt.
Underlined and BOLD.

I like his music, its unique, catchy, makes me want to grind my hips.

He's sexy, he dances,
he sings, yet is macho at the same time,
I mean what's there not to love?
(besides the fact that he was in NSYNC)
He's brought sexyback without a doubt.

And all you men out there, who make fun of his voice,
his singing, his dancing..its obviously just sour grapes,
cos you know he's doing something right when all the girls love him.

And Scarlett, well, gorgeous.

SexyBack

Okay the voice is lacking here, but he's a great performer.

Brilliant!

Spot O Good News

The Bee woke me at 5 am-ish
"John Mayer just won a Grammy"

"Well of course," says I as though I was personally privy to
news from the John himself

Then the Bee tells me that John and Jessica Simpson
are now officially dating,
this is when I tell the Bee I am going back to sleep
and hang up.

Stupid bint. Jessica, not the Bee.
John too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Me: I look real ugly today!
The Bee:Can't you save your 'ugly' days
for when you go to French class?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today I ran down the stairs, slipped on the rug on the bottom
and fell flat out bruising myself
in not one, but three places.

Ouch =(

But all in all, its been a 'good news day' (;

Pressing Thoughts

The Sunday ritual is that though I am off,
I do the ironing.

So it was today, as I pressed the clothes,
smell of roast beef and goosefat
wafting from the kitchen,
from my laptop, Lovage does Strokerace.

And while I pressed the clothes,
pressing thoughts, random as they are

(a) Global warming.

Like the average young person, I catch snippets of the deteriorating
state of our planet,
and like many a person out there, I blink once or
twice, and shrug the news off, move on to the next headline
but lately, I've been hearing it too much,
on the news, on Oprah, from Al Gore
what little I know is already terrifying.

Do something.

(b) Shamanism.

My little conversation with the shaman last week
has me pondering things, life

For instance, we discussed how one's problems in this life
was created and left unresolved in a past life,
thus, by accessing the spirit and the root of the problem
in your past life, you can solve it in this one.

To attain your goals, you have to recognise and get over these
problems that hold you back
serious or trivial, only when you shed yourself
of them can you achieve your full potential.

Its an interesting thought that shouldn't just apply there
its about closure isn't it?

(c) Grieving.

Do we grieve enough, mistakes made, things lost?
I think for most of who don't embrace depression
when a significant loss occurs in our lives
we tend to put our heads up, plod ahead
without grieving, without allowing ourselves that weakness
and we only realise much later that it holds us back in so much
that we do.

Its okay to cry, be angry, be made a fool of.

Erm thats all.

Quite random right?
I mean I have other things to do, like answer Kevin's email, my aunt's email
Szuf's email and uh..other people also

but here I am worrying whether the plastic that we use
is petroleum based, about my carbon footprints
wondering the effects the cooling of the Gulf Stream
wondering whether we do anywhere near enough
in Asia to help
wondering if I have grieved
wondering about past lives
wondering if I still feel the same about certain things,
if I will

I mean surely it worries you too? What becomes
of our planet, what will it take
for you to sit up and notice?

Similarly, your life, your relationship,
the world you live in,
when things go wrong, when do you
get in there, get your hands muddied,
and actively, physically solve things?

What will it take for you to help before its too late?

Somethings you can't shrug off for too long,
by then it'll be beyond repair, lost.

Hey Ohh

So yesterday's snow was supposed to be a one-off
but despite the predictions of weathermen across the country
today, I woke to fat flakes of snow, swirling
across the sky

I went to pick NMTP up from the car service centre
and together we battled slushy roads home
then YM called, school was being closed;
the weather was getting too bad

NMTP went to get him,
and later we three ambled out in the snow
to fetch YM chinese takeaway,
but chinese people (smart as we are)
had decided to stay home for the day

So YM got himself a roast lamb roll at Mr. Lush's
and we trudged uphill, home.

Dadman came home, we had some tea,
later the 4 of us went to the park and
had a snowball fight,
we sloshed our way through sleet and icy puddles
and asked after a young lady who
had gone to turn left on a downhill road
and ended up sliding into a lorry.

Came home, had some tea,
and wondered what the past tense for perfection is
fiddled about on the computer
(everything working!)
exchanged about 20 one liner emails with my cousin
watched one half of Fame
had a brilliant supper
then took myself off to a warm bath
"I am going to listen to music in the bath, so if
someone speaks to me and I don't answer
it doesn't mean I 've drowned," I announce to Dadman and NMTP

"At which point should we presume you're dead and
come and get you?" asks Dadman

"If she's not out by tomorrow morning I expect,"
answers NMTP for me

and now I am out, dry, moisturized and toasty,
listening to Radio 1's Live Lounge online.

SO awesome, I wish I was Jo Whiley.
And that, was my day.

Trekking Out Through Snow for Food

While You're Somewhere Out There

Snow Day!

You do not need a caption for this pic


Someone took their bird for a walk


Someone took their dog for a walk


Despite what you think, its not easy to photograph snow
in the process of falling!

 

And Today in Weather News

 

And So, Snow

 

Comfort Food

And what is there left for one to do
after being caught in snow, slush, rain and hail
and hail and hail and hail
but to come home and eat bak kut teh?

Into The Heap

 

Snug As A Bug

The cat, asleep on my fresh sheets yesterday

 

Mr.Lush's

Yesterday I went to the butcher because
I knew that with the onset of snow
some good, warming food was needed.

 

Just Shoot Me Lah Please

Shoot me.
I have been losing so much sleep over
getting this damn computer
properly set up that I am about to throw it
at the cat.

Who watched me strip my bed and put the sheets
to wash just now,
then looked at me crossly and settled in the chair instead
and now that I've re-dressed the bed
I've come into find Caspar sprawled across
it like a true strumpet.

Below Zero

Yes, in a sudden sweep of mother nature's wand
Great Britain is experiencing a cold snap
snow is expected today.

Yesterday morning I trudged upstairs
at 7.30 am bleary-eyed
and exhausted from battling a trojan horse
on poor Percy here, all night

Yeah. Got hit by a friggin troj night before last
and spent that whole night and the
whole of yesterday reformatting, then reinstalling
and etc.
I was soooooooooooo going nuts, I mean
I can't do without Percy.
Cannot.

EVERYTHING needs to be re-done.

So, anyway, I was greeted with a thick layer of frost on the wind-screen
got my credit cards out, and YM and I scraped
one half of the glass each
but the novelty of my first frost
excited and awakened me.

Today however, I woke and the frost was even thicker
the temperature was even colder
and it was not motherfucking fun anymore.

Everywhere people are abuzz with the
anticipation of snow.

Woo-hoo.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In separate news, since the Bee
expresses a distrust for 21-yr olds who might approach me
(since I blogged about one)in my croaking class
I tend to keep my head down at break-time

Yesterday, during routine Q & A in class
a fellow etudiante was asked what he did for a living
and he said "I am a shaman"
There was a split-second of silence,
then we all got over it.

So, break-time right? And I get my coffee,
get my Fair-trade Stem Ginger Cookies,
find a seat at the end of one of the long-tables.

Then Mr.Shaman plonks himself down in front of me.

Up close, he is lanky, his head is an odd shape
elongated-like, slightly banana-ey
he has the shakes something fierce
and his eyes have a strange flickering quality

I am terrified and curious at the same time
I jump straight in with a
"So, shamanism, how does it work?"

And then we have a long conversation
about spirits, and past-lives and alternate universes,
chakras, eternity, divinity
Freaky, but definitely thought provoking.

And all the time, I wondered about those eyes
I wondered if he might be sucking my soul out
I wondered if he was sending shamanic messages through
my optic nerves to nestle in my stem cells
and corrupt my next life

and then, I realised it was just me drinking coffee.

Saturday Rumble

I have just finished dance
and I am looking like a real chav with my hoodie
sweatpants and sneakers
(my sneakers are Puma F1s complete with Ferari logo)
Go me!

Leyna is to meet me in Starbucks and
does not look impressed when she sees my get-up
I am wearing cream socks too

Nay, I will not let the fashion police get to me!
Besides, I was truly exercising
and when I do decide to get 'stylish'
I might actually have the body for it.

Later at the sushi restaurant
she starts the way she did last time
"Do you have much time? "

I nod an affirmative yes

"Because I really need to have the salmon ramen, and the eel
but I really want sushi too, so I might want
to eat then, take a break, and start
again you know?"

Yes, I know.(=

So we eat, and we eat
and talk about dogging (as in, me asking what it is) and
then this chinese girl comes in
and she is wearing checked pants and checked shoes
and I can barely contain an "OMG"
and disgusted shrug
causing Leyna to turn around to see why I reacted
and I am abashed when she turns back
because hello? I am no Sienna Miller today,
yet I have the cheek to criticise..

Puberty

A few weeks ago, I picked
this 14 yr old boy that I spent most of my time with,
up from school.

"I have a secret, and I won't tell you" he announced, barely
a foot in the car

"Oh you know you want to.."

"I don't."

"What is it?"

"What do you think?"

"A girl?"

YM sighs... "Hmm yeah, I kinda like..this..one girl,
but I don't know what to do!"

"Well first you have to gauge if she likes you
first, just so you don't make a fool out of yourself
and end up scarred for life.."

"How do I gauge?"

"Well do little things, specifically for her,
hold the door open, be nonchalant of course, but
pay attention to her reaction."

"Oh, you mean I gotta plant the seed huh?"

Then he chants "Plant the seed!Plant the seed!"

:O

Something tells me YM has been watching too many
stupid american teen movies.

Morning In The Kitchen

 

SKYPE

I now have SKYPE cos one of my
jakun best friends doesn't know how to
update her MSN.

Yeah.But I have to love her still right?

Sunday, Leyna is coming to lunch
as are grannie and granpa
someone is cooking a malaysian feast.

House of Cards

What do they say about it?
So painstaking to build,
One second its perfect, then next
one card is removed, and just like that,
it all falls apart.