by the skin of my teeth
to something where the end is inevitable
And yet though I know it, know rationally how this story will play out
for this goes against common sense
I have stopped trying to fathom
how it has such a hold on me
It is a cycle that I must go through, masochistic and self-damaging as it is
that I must wholly give in to it, before am wholly cleansed of it
I feel like I am treading in a river, the current somehow holding me aloft
I am trying to make my way towards the left bank,
despite seeing that it is crumbling into the water
and on the right bank, someone has tossed me a life line
but I cannot yet reach for it
not till I am ready, not till I am sure
even if you split my face into the widest of grins
It will take me being clean out of this mess before
I can even begin to clearly and fairly
assess the options that I am lucky enough
to be presented with.
But I've done this before, and though it doesn't get easier
it will pass, and life goes on, as it does.
