Recently someone asked me why I haven't much to say in my blogs anymore...
Well the thing is that its not that I haven't a lot to say, its the fact that since quite a few people visit this blog now, I have to exercise a certain amount(a lot) of discretion with who and what I mention.

That's why the generic, run-of-the-mill, blogs. Oh trust me, you want juicy, I have juicy.. but living in such an overlapping society, it isnt hard to pin-point who or what it is you're refering to, even if you give them monikers and etc.......and thus the downside of having a blog.

You can have a secret blog, where you set down your secrets and no one will know any better because they don't know about it but what's the point?the reason we write is because we want to be heard, yet there are so many restrictions.

I WANT TO SPEAK!

Someone just shoot me.

Maybe I'm a bit overdramatic today, can I blame it on hormonal imbalance?
SO anyways, since puppy has come I have taken a back seat. Boyfriend puts puppy above everything, meaning me of course...I know he cant help it because Johnson is bloody adorable, words couldn't describe how cute this bundle of fur is.Its ok if he took a shit on every rug and carpet we own last night, one look at his snuffling nose and adoring eyes, and anger and frustrations melt away like ice in a desert.

Next week I am going to be 21, I feel 30. At some point in the coming to weeks I am going to look back at my life and wonder what it is exactly that I've accomplished.Then I'm either going to fall into a funk of depression or be incredibly elated by what life had brought to my door.

I know that for my age I 've done and been through more than most people 30 years ahead of me will ever go through in a lifetime, I should be thrilled, it's built character, given me vast experience, made me a calmer person when it comes to dealing with panicky situations.And yet, ....its the bloody birthday blues.

Sometimes I wonder, who really knows me. My family?my friends? There's so much that I can and cannot say, that most people only know different snippets, if they all came together and pieced the puzzle up, maybe a clearer picture would emerge.I need a clearer picture.