I Am Expecting!

Not a baby.... but the Bee
=)

Let me tell you about the last time I expected him.

It was December 06,
and the Bee and I had booked his ticket
months and months ago, when I was still living
in Copenhagen on one of those cheap, non-change, non-refund
websites

Luckily for us, when I moved from Copenhagen, there
was no need to buy him and new ticket because
his original flight to Copenhagen was via London

We had not seen each other in over 200 hundred days
we were nervous as fark, I mean, what if
we saw each other again and HATED each other?
What if he smelled? What if he farted in his sleep?
What if I didn't even recognise him?

The day came for him to leave
it was about 4am my time, when he called
"Babe, they won't let me get off in London."

"No fucking way!"

"I wouldn't kid at a time like this."

Turns out the airline were being pricks
and though he would get off and change planes at Heathrow
they WOULD NOT LET HIM STOP THERE
our options were
(a) go to Copenhagen
(b) buy a new ticket for 1000 pounds
(c) forget about the trip

"Go to Copenhagen" I said
"I will get to you somehow"

and that was it, 4 am and I was galvanised into action
I went on airline websites, looked for flights to Copenhagen
my credit card was denied when I tried to book
one for an exorbitant amount
I emailed MTP in Denmark for help
I text her too, then sat awake, frozen with helplessness.

I had already got my train tickets to London for 10am
supposedly to get to London just in time
to meet the Bee.

MTP called at 7 am soon as she got my text
I was practically crying (oh wait, I was crying)
on the phone to her

And she, was solid as a rock advising me on what to do
the most practical decision, which was that rather than fly
me there, she booked the Bee into a hotel that night
and also booked a flight back to London first thing the
next morning; I text-ed him all the reservation
codes and details

A break in Copenhagen would have been wonderful
but didn't fit into our budget, especially since ongoing
flights,trains etc had been pre-booked and paid.

Dadman woke up for work, I told him
my predicament, but there was little he could do,
so he hugged me and left.

Groggy, yet jittery from caffeine, caught my train to London
NMTP called to see how I was getting on, I remember.

That morning, was the first day that winter
that it got real cold; as the train hurtled through
England, I saw for the first time that season
trees brittle with frost, fog had set in
big-time, and the whole country had almost come
to a standstill.

Once in London, I met my cousin M and her man for lunch
and we all shook our heads in disbelief at the
situation.

Imagine this: You wait hundreds of days to see someone
each day building up to this one day, and when it
finally comes, you find you must wait a day longer
and worst still that you will both be in the same city
but unable to see each other.

I was determined that I would see the Bee that day.

I sent him numerous SMS, so that he would get them
as soon as he got into Heathrow.

"Go to the British Airways staff, tell them your girlfriend
was supposed to fly from London and meet you in Copenhagen
but there's an emergency and you NEED to get off
that plane in LONDON."

"British people are nicer, they'll understand."

When he got in, he text me.

"Hop to it!" I told him.

It was 2.30pm, his flight was supposed to land
and hour earlier.

At 4.30pm we were still texting back and forth.

"What did they say?" I asked

"My flight is cancelled."

"What do you mean canceled?Canceled for you, or canceled
for all?"

"Canceled, canceled. What don't you understand
about canceled? I am waiting for my baggage."

Turns out the fog had gotten so bad, flights
were being canceled left, right and centre;
Thousands of people were stranded that weekend, many not making it
home for Christmas, many having lost their luggage
the Bee being one of them.

I shot into action, showered, dressed, took a bus to the Tube station
got on the train to Heathrow.

Now my heart was beating, now my palms were sweating;
we arranged a rendezvous at Starbucks, Terminal 3.

Dup dup, dup dup, dup dup
Then I spotted him, same moment he spotted me
I fell into his arms, and that,
was it.

History.

Turns out he farts in bed something fierce, and
steals the covers too, but heck, who cares?

Today, the Bee comes.

Harmonising

YM hasn't been to school in three days
(he's had a temperature).

By this afternoon, he claimed he was feeling better
and went up to his mother, asking her what there was
for lunch

She gave him an answer that was obviously
unsatisfying, uninteresting
because he turned to me and asked me
the very same thing

And so, knowing we had the ingredients
I seized the opportunity to kill
two birds with a stone
presenting YM with a challenge, and appeasing my greedy
belly

I gave him the recipe for Ngah Poh Fan
or Claypot Chicken Rice
which turned out pretty well, even if ang-moh-fied
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

NMPT and I are sitting at the dining table
eating NPF, reading respective books
beside us, YM is going completely utter, nuts with boredom
"Why don't you go upstairs and be ill like you're supposed
to be?" I tell him
he talks, he twiddles, he scratches, he sings to the room
we ignore him.

Then I look up, say to NMTP
"Is he ever going back to school?"

"I sure hope so," says she.

YM finally gets bored and goes upstairs,
we both heave silent sighs of relief.

I go into my room to relax.

15 minutes later, he's down again,
I can hear him pottering about in the kitchen
and dread finding out why (we've just cleaned up from the NPF)

I hear the door shut, NMTP is gone.

I creep out. He's making cupcakes
and begs me to help,
when NMTP comes home just as we slip the
cupcakes into the oven
I point my finger at her and say
"Its not fair!YOU escaped!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dadman comes home,
we have tea and cupcakes all of us
YM talks a mile-a-minute,
eats chocolate sprinkles off his palm

"Now, says NMTP, I suggest you go and get changed
out of your pyjamas (it is 5pm)"

"I am going!" he retorts

"I swear, says NMTP to Dadman
it was easier when he was ill."

2 floors above us, YM starts some operatic singing
it reverberates through the house
down to us, on basement level
I start my own singing as I empty the dishwasher,
together our voices fill the entire three levels
in my mind the house seems to swell and vibrate

"God" says NMTP "Is there no peace in this house?"
Dadman buries his head in his hands

Jemima the cat chooses this time to come in and
meow incessantly
"Shut up!Not you too!" says NMTP

"Just think, says Dadman, tomorrow, we'll have another
one."

Feline Portrait

So Anyways

As I was saying yesterday (below)
before I got stalled by TallMeng and had to rush off

At any one time,
if there is an Aja, and there is a Leyna
then there is food.

We are always eating, and can make
an entire trip out of browsing in food stores
and salivating at menus.

Yesterday was no exception.

Leyna sent me a text early..like 8 am
in it she apologised for possibly waking me
and asked if I wanted to do lunch,
she told me not to feel obligated
(eventhough she was buying)

When I replied 'ok'
she text me again, told me to get on MSN
NOW and again not to feel obliged to come

Me, I was worried, I mean what is
so urgent that I needed to 'come online NOW'
at 8.30 am?What was she going to tell me
that I wasn't to feel obligated?
WHAT WAS SO SERIOUS?

Turns out that at 9am, Leyna knew she was going to be
very very very hungry for lunch
(eventhough she was then quaffing doughnuts from Gregg's)

and the very pressing matter that we had to discuss
online NOW?

Menus.
She sent me the links to 5 lunchtime menus
I told her I couldn't decide,
one by one we eliminated 4
and then, our pressing business was done
all was left was to wait for lunchtime to come along.

The weather was the kind that makes you
shake your fist at the sky and go
"Shite bollocking titwanking weather!!@@?# Arrgh"

And yet, despite driving rain and a wonky umbrella
we walked almost horizontally against the wind
and made it to the Thai House

I had wine, she had Singha
I had dumplings, she had satay
I had duck noodles, she had chicken curry
then, we both had a banana fritter with banana
ice-cream.

Oh Goreng Pisang! How we mees you.

er..I just wanted to say, (since were on the 'miss' subject)
that what I miss most about CNY is
the holiday, gambling, the food
especially Chai Choy, and ang pows
oh BTW happy CNY people!

Oh oh oh and the company!
I miss the company!

It is hailing right now as I speak.

So when Leyna and I are finally done eating
I go to catch the train back in time to wake the Bee
but the Bee wakes early and texts
"Where is the love babe?"

I tell him I am on my way home and will
call when I am there.

Then I accidentally get on the wrong train
and lose 20 minutes going the opposite direction
and when I get home he says
"How is it the whole world knows
that you're out for lunch with Leyna, except me?
How is it that you're out of time and have to rush
yet have time to blog it, but no time to tell me?
What am I?2nd place after the blog?"

=O

So then I changed the subject, and told him
about how much I love Goreng Pisang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of the Bee, it is not often that he reads my blog
or if he does, he definately doesn't read it thoroughly
one such example was when I was woken up
at 5 am a few mornings ago, by him

"Baby, what colour are my eyes?" he asked, frantic note
in his voice
"Brown, why?" said I

"But in your blog you said buttercup blue!"
(at this point I could have said, 'what makes you think
I was talking bout you huh?')

But I didn't. Instead I said
"Baby, buttercups are not blue, so it
is irrelevant, I explained it at the end of the post
and don't you be giving me lip if you don't
bother to read or understand it thoroughly!"

5am and they have the cheek to call and ask me
what colour their eyes are.

As if I am blind.

Why Leyna Is Bad

At any one outing comprising
of one Leyna and one Aja
it is inevitable that food will
play a big part in it, overeating is almost a given


.......

Shit. no more time to blog
now must rush out
Blame it on BENG lah!
Talk to me on MSN so much.

Now must quickrushgetready to meet Leyna or
will miss train!

BAI.

That Buzz

In a recent post, where I was
modestly expounding my superior sense of direction,
I then bracketted the sentence

'but the Bee would argue that I am a stubborn
cow whose sense of direction is far from superior'
(or something to that effect, it doesn't really matter when I
am misquote-ing me)

Let me tell you about me, if it isn't already obvious,
I have a problem with giving up the driving seat,
and not just in the car.

And the Bee, bless his soul
is the most patient being on earth
(I know it looks like the opposite)

So he will indulge my anal retentive whims
and let me lead us lost in circles in the bowels
of a city,
until my shoes are ragged and my feet screaming
mercy, which is when I will turn on him
and blame him (its not my fault, I don't get lost)

And the Bee,
this is when he will turn to me,
hold out his hand for me to place mine in
he will blink his buttercup blue eyes once or
twice, pausing to let the full effect of
his impossibly lush lashes fanning his cheekbones take seed,
before looking deep into my soul

Then he will say with that voice that is a balm,
that coats and calms my frazzled synapses
"Trust me, let me lead us baby. Okay, trust me?"

And really? How can I not?
How does one not relent?
Putty.

It takes a good man to put up
with my maddened raging and
pushy ways (female hormones), but one that tames me, one who I would
willingly let lead me blind-folded over hot coals (not that he would)
the world now sees for the first time.

Of course we are not perfect
we have our bad days.

The Bee is the yeller, he will roar at me, I will quietly, curtly say
"I'll speak to you later" and hang up
10 mins later he will calm down, apologise;

Me, if I am angry with him
I refuse to talk, I will write him emails maybe
I will send a thousand texts
but it will be as though my mouth holds gold

I keep it in, only because I am more articulate in
writing than speech, also so that I don't scream

I will stay angry longer than he, but eventually and
ultimately, we reach a point when we are both mutually
working to resolve things
its like intangible fingers stretching
the length and breadth of the world, to touch each other.

And in the long periods between a rough patch,
we laugh, oh how we laugh,
it never fails to surprise me, how he reads my
mind, finishes my sentences no matter how off tangent

How I can be telling him about a song I'd just heard
how one line got to me, and he will tell me the exact line

How we can be completely honest with each other
about our weirdest, worst or most emotional thoughts

He's always surprising me, with that sense of humour,
that intelligence and intuitiveness, by just 'getting' me,
even when I don't get myself.

And yet, we are so completely, utterly different
I am the one into Edith Piaf, gastronomy,travel, wine

And the Bee, he's into Machine Head,
beers and house parties where everyone leaves
when the cops come
(like, hello?imagine me in that situation, can?)

while I sit and read my book on the grass in the park
The Bee could be hurling himself off the edge
of a railing, headfirst into the mosh pit
a compact, buzzing ball of energy

That's the way I love to see the Bee, being 100% himself
(even if its sometimes annoying)

While I have a somewhat sociable front
(e-social too), and what you see is more or less what you get
(though of course, level of depth depends on who),
the Bee can at times seem extremely unsociable,
he epitomises the proverb don't judge a book by its cover.

We keep those differences, we appreciate them in each other
we encourage some of them,
On the fringes of our worlds, things mesh,
interests, ideas, habits, hobbies, philosophy;
as we discover new worlds within and with each other.

We let each other be each other,
yet parts of us are changing.
We're growing up, loosening up, for each other.

And I think to a certain extent we give each other
the strength to do things we always wanted to do and never
thought we were capable of.

We are not one person, he is he, and I am I
and only then, we are us.

That's probably the beauty of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. I know that buttercups aren't blue.

Looking Within

2 am, Saturday morning,
Percy and I are getting hot and heavy this weekend

I was thinking of Newton's third law:
Every action has a equal and opposite reaction
that led to the usual stimulating
mind discussions with myself.

Do you ever examine yourself?
(not, physically lah)

I mean, why you do the things you do,
think the things you think
when pertaining to another person?

A lot of us react without analysing
why we are reacting this way
and I think a lot, not only never come
to terms with 'why I am being like this'
but also never learn to tell the complete truth
about their feelings

Which leads to missed opportunities, if anything

I know a guy who was in love with his
bestfriend for years and never had
the courage to tell her, then she got
engaged to someone else

then there are the tragic stories
feuds left unresolved, someone dies
people regret forever

Thing is, why regret?
What do you have to lose by telling the truth about
how you feel?
A bit of face maybe, but heck, you had the guts to
do it at least

Saying "I'm sorry"

"I love you"

"You did good"

for a start, makes people's day
helps them through, no matter what you think,
no matter your excuse, ' Oh I don't have to tell them,
they know'..that's not good enough.

Probe your inner self,
lay your heart bare, tell someone the truth

if you did wrong

if you love or like

if you don't agree

if you still love

if you think telling your troublesome
teenager you love and are only looking out for them will fall on deaf ears,
you're wrong, they will remember one day
and it will give them a little nudge someday

If someone is going and you know you can't stop them
at least tell them how you really feel

But figure yourself out first (; because when you
react without thinking about why, if negatively,
you unwittingly push people farther away from you

There is only now, this life.

Oh life! So much to muse about
my brain is working on overdrive.

Into the Heap

"What shall we do with these roses?"
I ask NMTP, gesturing towards her
ailing bouquet, then mine

"Bin them, I guess."

So I took them out to the almost-compost heap
that we are cultivating
I binned her lot, then looked at mine and thought

"There is hope for you yet"

So I brought them in, from the brink of
death
strung them up, upside down in a pretty ribbon
and left them to dry.

Turns out I was right about hope.

Productivity, That's Me (and you!)

I woke up, looked at my watch
half-six am
I looked at my phone, last message received, half-six
'oh!must have woken me' I thought

Though in that state of grog
I didn't realise that watch and phone were on
different time zones

I knew this was one of my only days
to drive to the clinic early for a
free check-up
yet snuggled myself into a ball
cursing the heater for making things all the more cosy

But then, I sprung up
said "Aja, this behaviour will not do!"
and got myself out the door to the clinic

When I got there though, I reached the back of the queue
and right beside me, a sign
"if you are queueing past this line,
it is unlikely that you will be seen today"

'Right!' said moi to moi
'home to bed then?'

Home to bed we went.
In bed we tried to sleep, but sleep
was oh-so-elusive
so we got out, cleaned cat-shit, made breakfast
(hands disinfected of course!)

Then we said to ourselves, 'let's springclean our room!'
so for 3 hours we toiled, hoovering
throwing out bits and bobs, moving furniture
cataloging CDs

Then Leyna
(axe murderer as she is known in this house
because 'you met her off the internet!')
she text to say she was near
and off I went to lunch with her
then we ambled about town, boutique browsing

I had read about Foxy's and was eager to explore
so she came in tow (stopping by a purveyor of fine meat en-route)
and we oohed and ahhed
eyes growing big as saucers when our eyes fell upon
the gargantuan slices of Lemon Meringue Cake and
Chocolate Mud Pie.

Then, I got a grip of myself
"No, we cannot.." I said, back straight, chin set,
and with that, we walked calmly out
across the way to look at the menu for an italian restaurant.

Then, I spy a poster for a photo exhibit and in we go
this is when I do the 'phtuiii' sound
by pursing my lips and blowing air out through them
I bitch about the photographer's work
"Hello? Taking photos like that and
using light boxes to light it up and calling it art?
I osso can okay? I OSSO CAN!"

We leave.

A little lane, runs into wooded greenery
"This way!"

"Are you sure you know where we're going?"

"Of course!" I say with great conviction,
though I really don't and am relying on my superior sense of
direction (though the Bee will say I am a stubborn cow
whose sense of direction is not superior)

Its raining, as we get deeper down the lane and trees
close in overhead I say
"Oh noo! What if we get lost?
Then we shall have to hunt for deer, for food, and to shield us
from this rain and cold, we must build a shelter,
cut down trees.."

Leyna laughs politely, though I know
she is really thinking ' Oh my god, what a weirdo!'

We get to the park, now I really know where we are
"Yay!"

"Good, cos I need to pee.."

"Well, I know where we are..but still half an hour yet.."

"Whhhhatttt?"

"No lah, joking...he-he :D"

"You go la, squat in the bushes.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


3 seconds later

Leyna: There are flowers on that bench, did someone
die in this park?

Me: Its just a bench dedicated in memory...

Leyna: Okay, can we go quick..

Me: Why, scared issit?

Leyna: No, just dun like flowers and dead people

Me: You dun like flowers is it?

Leyna: I like colourful flowers, but I don't think they like me!

:0

I know this is not a good time to tell her that on our left is
the war veteran memorial garden
a veritable bounty of flowers and dead people.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We get home and no one else is home.
Leyna zeroes in on the leftover christmas cake
and just as she's about to dig in
NMTP and YM comes in

"You will not believe the axe murderer!" I shout upstairs
"She came right in and had the
cheek to immediately go for the cake!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

" I am going to send Leyna home, tell your mom
to call if she needs me to get groceries
on the way back.." I tell YM

Leyna and I make a pitstop and the 2 sorry chinese groceries
in Cardiff-town
we buy next to nothing, we spend nearly an hour browsing
"Look!, Look! WOW! Omigosh!"

at one point I smugly announced that I buy Yeo's beehoon
cos I support my country
"Uh, Yeo's is Singaporean" she says

Oh no! Salah support-ation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leyna wants to show me a new short-cut
but is a bit blurry on it herself
"Hmmm, lets go this way!" I say
"and this way!"

Soon, we are lost, then we find our way
in the midst NMTP calls with her
shopping list

We get to Leyna's
she shows me the new place, I think it brilliant
(helping direct the moving tomorrow (; )
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I leave, for Tesco's
do my supermarket run, get home,
dump groceries and proceed into my room
to bask in its refurbished-ness

"Aja, did you get the pasta?"

"Shoot! I'll go now!"

"Yes, you can have a drink when you get home" (incentive)

I fling the front door open and roar,
"BOLLOCKS!" when I see the
cats and dogs falling from the sky

"YM, may I borrow your coat?" I say slipping
its wonderful 50 pound, warm, waterproof gore-tex goodness
over my shoulders

As I step out and do the breast-stroke through a puddle,
I realise that my feet are clad in
toe-socks and flip-flops.

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

The Daddy In Me

I must have been 14 going 15 when I was
booted out of home for bad behaviour
(mother's, not mine)

This is when I went to live with Daddy

If anything, Daddy is a supremely intelligent man
who has little patience with people
slower/less intelligent/with less common sense
than he
(which is not very nice I know, but that's just him)

Faced with his only daughter
suddenly living under his roof for the first time
Daddy and I struggled terribly to understand each other

Back then I felt he couldn't possibly fathom what I'd been through,
I suppose he thought I was young and stubborn
we were both stubborn.

But I do, digress
my original point being, 'the daddy in me'.

See, daddy doesn't put up with
people who are unobservant, unresourceful,
who don't use their heads

So for a year (or however long I lived with him)
Daddy constantly drilled
"Be more observant!"

"Pay attention to every little detail"

"Use common sense"

"Use your noggin!"

"Think laterally!"

And I suppose I came away with all this nailed fast into me
(though probably not as much as Daddy would have wished,
but chinese parents are the hardest to please)

And I know that though not necessarily more intelligent
I am somewhat more observant, resourceful than most (and less than some)

and so, sometimes, it really irks me
(read=fucking drives me mental)
when people just fail to think a step farther
when they reach a wall and stop dead
(this is it, I am done!)

its like, hello? what do you do next?
what do you do to scale that wall?
go around it?

In this day and age, when we have the internet,
Google, mobile phone directories and the like
how can you possibly stop gathering information?
how can you possibly not find any information?

Our resources are endless.
(except that of water, but different subject yeah?)

Sometimes I find it so friggin frustrating
its the kind of frustration
that makes me want to smash my head to a bloody pulp
against the corner of a stone tablet

I mean, every single day, my biggest
fear is that I don't know enough,
(or that I don't help humanity or mother nature enough)

and with everything at your doorstep,
just the click of a button away
how does anyone get away with an
"I don't know"?

"I don't know" is no longer and shouldn't have ever been
an acceptable answer

Granted, I have lots of "I don't knows"
but mine are generally followed with a
"but..I'll find out!"

What you find out, what you gain, what you become
in this day and age, is all up to you

It's whether you have the initiative; your
incentive to search/do, is you, your life
your potential, your future.

And I suppose when I feel like this,
the "How the fuck could you not know/think/try?"

or get the "Goddammit its easier to do it myself than for me to
stress out about it when you're oblivious to it's importance"
type of feeling,
that, is when the Daddy in me
seeps out of these here pores, comes out
kicking and screaming.

Then Aja kicks in, and Aja says to Daddy
"What if they just don't know?
what if it just doesn't occur to them, that things can
be done differently, what if they just weren't taught
that way?"

Then Daddy says
"Well it's time the bloody learnt".

But people, we're all so different with our
quirks, good and bad
I think what we need to learn most is
patience (some more than others).

But then hor, how much patience is too much?

Aiseh, I Say!

So anyway, I was driving today
aiseh-ing myself for being an idiot
when I thought, "I say!'

Don't you think our Malaysian
'Aiseh!' came from the english 'I say!'?

Like in the colonial times,
an english gentleman walks into a room and
finds his male colleagues jackhammering
each other and can do nothing but go
"I say..."

Then us malaysians colloquial-ised it and made
it 'Aiseh, apa ni..."

Nasi Melayu-Portabello Rd.

I had come past this store at the end
of the Portabello Market quite a few times
never deigned to go inn because it didn't look posh enough
like your regular kopitiam/mamak I suppose

But last Sunday I found myself wandering about there
alone, and thought 'Why not?'

The melayu boy who served me was
polite, nice
laughed when I said 'I want the fish curry with bendi,
and gimme me that, no that, no, that!'

Who can make up their mind when faced with the
food of home?being away from home for too long?

So I had Gulai Ikan with Bendi
Kari Kambing, Sambal Terung

"What would you like to drink?" he asked

I hemmed and hawed

"Teh tarik?" he asked, raised eyebrow, smile playing
at his lips

"oh yeah!"

Nasi Melayu.Teh Tarik.London.
7 pounds=RM47

 

Moodswings

Bounce

Faced with the idea of contemplating
the meniscus in my water glass, or
going for a walk in the nice cool afternoon,
I forced myself to get off my fat arse
and out in the quasi-sunshine.

So I did my normal route
down the hill, up the hill, down the hill
and past Adam, my favourite, towering tree
you remember him?
I photo-ed him a few months ago
under 'Hug me biatch!'
(then foolishly deleted them last week)

Adam was no longer.

I stopped in my tracks, staring at the stump that
remains of him,
then I walked up to him slowly,
grieving
I had wanted to show him to the Bee!

So then I walked away, heart so heavy
and suddenly over the crest of the hill
came not one, or two
but EIGHT, (8!)
Bichon Frise

They were unbelievably cute, scampering about me
and licking my hands as I got onto my knees int the dirt
to pet them
a lone woman was walking them
and chatted with me when she saw the delight on my face
yes, I believe Paris Hilton or one
of the other ones like her has one (or ten)

So this woman, she tells me they all live
with her, that they are a delight, odourless, no shedding
no loud barking, so sweet
most off all, they made me momentarily forget
my sadness over Adam.

Adam must have been hundreds and hudreds
of years old =(

The I set towards home, huffing and puffing
up the great steep hill
and I thought of how a stranger seeing me
might describe me:
cheeks flushed, hair wind-whipped
breasts bouncing against my rib-cage..

Then I thought
"Wait a minute, Aja, 'bouncing against the rib-cage'
doesn't apply to you, yours merely bounce,
and definately not against your rib-cage"

And there is myself, ever so subtly reminding
me about the size of my apples; Myself, taking the piss
out of me.

I like them ok?They're manageable.
So there.

London in Pictures

A good friend's mother once said
that London was all about
undergrounds and 'mind the gap'
in fact, I once gave someone a pair of
mind the gap socks


CNY spirit in Chinatown

One of the challenges this guy set for himself
was to do this
as I was talking to him
chavs behind us were throwing things at him
which he ducked automatically
eventhough he wasnt watching them



Covent Garden
I wanted to take M to my favourite cheese shop
but she hates stinky cheese

 

 

I thought this woman had the most
interesting face, and sneakily took pictures of her

M and I trudged through chinatown and covent garden
then to starbucks for caramel macchiatos
then back home, if only to get ready to go out that night
we went here, and I really liked the place


Compare, above and below?
Do we look alike?
no.

But as I walked up to the BBC bar on Friday,
the bartendar looked at me and gave me a cheery smile
and wave, I thought he was being friendly
in a weird kind of way
later when M stood beside me, he said
"Oh I thought she was you!"
and these are people who've seen her nearly everyday
in 6 years.


I like this pic, because its all
mysterious/futuristic like
gives me a headache
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Friday 6.40pm:
M meets me at reception, and I am tagged
like a cow and herded into the bar

They have all been drinking for yonks
and the place is packed, teeming
she introduces me, same way she always does
(=
"This is my cousin Aja,
but we're the same people "

"Except she's white and I am not"

"And I am smarter"

"But I am prettier"

"But I am taller"

No lah, actually it doesn't go that far.
We tell people about how we never met till I was 12 and when we
did we just clicked and how we've been close since
then, despite, hardly seeing each other.

Later, I tried to discreetly pour wine from
my full goblet, into my water glass
legless, my first night in London
was not something I wanted to be.

M leans over
"You are so totally my cousin," she says, eyeing
the glasses in my hand
"as we speak right now, I am pouring mine on the
floor."

We do this for a few rounds till she snaps
"stop pouring your wine into my shoe!"

Then we go home
and for 5 days, I have her singing
or humming "Close to You".

 

What Happens When You Set Us Loose in Chinatown

 

Back In Cardiff

I arrived, like, 10 minutes ago.

The cats thoughtfully shit by my toilet
bowl.

I am fucking stressed.
So.God.damn.fucking.stressed.out.of.
my.mind.

I want it all to go away.

I want to stop having to fucking worry about
every bloody detail.

BLEH.
What can I hit?

Food

Crispy Ginger Calamari with Citrus Aioli
recipe courtesy of the chef down under
given the thumbs up by the family.

Tomorrow, I am in London for 6 days,
so happy chinese new year ppl!

Send me angpows!