More Langkawi pictures at www.smorephotos.blogspot.com

Udder Juice

Here's something I noticed a coupla days ago
while I was loafing around Starbucks
with the rest of my cacat family members and friends
Starbucks uses local Dutch Lady milk

They used to use Farmhouse
(My family's preferred brand, the only one every one of us buys
if it's out of stock, we'd rather suffer, other brands stink)

But now they're saving cost and using Dutch Lady

Coffee Bean on the other hand, uses Pura
a brand imported from Australia
tastes creamier and cleaner as compared to
what they have at Berjaya's bucks.

Bean is also cheaper than bucks, not
that my family will switch or anything.

So there's your factoid of the day!

In Your Head

You know,
for a relatively level-headed, stable, mature young woman
like myself
I fantasise a whole shitload.

Like a damn lot,
and I don't mean sexual (well that too, but..)

wait maybe the correct term is imagine

like in the first 5 minutes of meeting a total
stranger that I may or may not feel
a slight attraction towards
I can imagine a whole lifetime with them

You know what I mean?
You can not really know someone,
have no intentions regarding them in real-life
or may have intentions, works both ways
yet have conjured up a whole lifetime with them
in your head

Like I could be having dinner with a girlfriend
but in my head it's 10 years down the road
and she's just stolen my husband
and is a real slag

or I could be driving a friend and having pleasant coversation
but in my head
we've been married 50 years and still spoon and hold hands

or I could be watching a movie with you
but really in my parallel universe
5 years down road
you've turned out to be a wifebeating
bald geezer who smells of onion rings

that kinda thing
*whooo psycho!*

I can't be the only one, I'm sure everyone does this.
Do they? Answers would be most appreciated.

And where the heck do I find time
to fantasise/imagine anyways?
Maybe when I'm trying so hard to take an afternoon nap
but can't ever because my body-clock
is a stubborn bitch.
____________________________

After I wrote this
*points upwards*
I tried to go to sleep
but couldn't, so I picked a random book of short stories up
and the first story I landed it was this
it goes like:

A woman is lenggang-ing in the museum
she spots a man; stands, admiring him
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She goes up, they talk, 'click'
have dinner, laugh, make-out, make-love
and later they spoon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and then it cuts back to her still standing there,
still admiring the man in the museum.

Imagination.
Isn't it just so powerful?So fascinating?

Chocolate, Anyone?

There are chocolates everywhere
Evil chocolates tempting me no end
Rod brought chocolate covered blueberries from Maine
The Rays brought a whole bagfull o mini Twix from California
and Cubed brought Vodka and Cointreau chocolates.

Arrgh.They're just sitting there. In my fridge. Watching me.
Silently taunting me.

Tots

Rachael Yamagata really makes me melancholy.

I was in the same elevator yesterday, with a man and his 4-5 year old daughter
She played peek-a-boo with me on the way down
When they got downstairs
he made her wait underneath the tree, in the shade
while he went to the car and cooled it down for her

I sat in mine, and couldn’t help but smile at how sweet
they were.

~~~~~~~

For some reason this scene comes to mind
It’s maybe 7 years ago
And my sister has just started kindergarten

We sit in the living room together
in a rare moment alone without the parents.

I am teaching her how to purse her lips
allow the slight tremble
angle her head down
And look up with big beseeching eyes

“Anytime mummy or daddy don’t give you anything darling,
this is what you must do,” I coach her

Today, she uses it on me.
I'm such a sucker.

Pictures! Pictures!

I just put a whole load of pics from
the Labour Day Weekend
and PLR with J&J
up at www.smorephotos.blogspot.com

So I Was Cleaning Out My Shoe Cabinet...

 

Saturday @ Bagan

Vanessa and I and my cousin's eye

 

Horsin Around at Bagan

 

Talk About Radish

Gayle, Ian, Aaron, David & I are having lunch
The boys do their usual crapping
until I say "Aaron can you please pass me the
White Carrot Soup?"

"Is this white carrot?, I thought it's turnip" he says

"It's old cucumber" David interrupts

Now this is slightly annoying because just last night
I had this very conversation about
radishes with my uncle Ray

"No," I say firmly, "It's radish."

"No, Aja, it's not radish, it's whitish."

-_-

Bitumen Pate

I am standing in the middle of the road
waiting to cross
traffic rushes across on either side
being here always fills me with a slight twinge of fear
I wait and wait and wait
but it just doesn't seem to stop

the I start to notice how nice the sun's warmth feels on
my face
how the sky is so blue
the day is perfect
I'm losing the plot

Ian, Gayle and Aaron snap me out of it
crossing from the other side and propelling me over.

Censoring

Sometimes people say the nicest things
and I want to reply the first thing that comes to mind
but I know that if I do
there's a higher probability of things becoming complicated
something that I can't afford right now
gotta hold back

I sit for a bit
let it steep, then reply as light, neutral and nice
as I can be
still genuine, but censored, re-worded

And I shake my head at me
for knowing I am doing this

Gosh what happened? since when did I become so cautious?

Unknown Number

I'm about to log off and go to sleep
when I get a message from an unknown overseas number
+85 something something
it says

"I hate you because I love you so much
and you're on my mind 24/7/365. Goodnight"

and I am sitting here, stunned, wracking my brains
my heart dup dup dupping in the most worrisome
manner
who is this? when/ did this happen?
and what do I do?

then another message clicks in
" Love, one more thing, if your cycle screws up again
please tell your mom"

Only one person calls me
'Love'.
STP or stepfather-type-person
partner of the mother.

What a sweet goodnight.

Air Kisses & Nose Brushes

You know sometimes, I'm damn confused
as to what to do when I greet or say goodbye to someone

Like there are some friends that you automatically hug
but not consistently, you know?
Like must gage one
sometimes you hug, sometimes you just say 'hi'

Then there are the ones that
thanks to my 3 year training while with my ex
who hung out with all the expats and their Stepford wives
did the air kiss on either side thing

But then, I went to Canada and hung out with
Polish people who did it three times

which just fucked me up
because I'd meet people who did it twice
then those who did it thrice
then I'd do either side but the other person
would continue on and I'd feel like a total moron
for making them look like a moron
I mean how would one know who does how many?
just a confused head bobbing ritual

And now, I just don't know.

I mean the other day I mwah-mwahed
someone I've only met like twice
but then I realised that people I see
way more often I don't even touch

and my family, as close as we are
we never hug one
like when my aunts come and go,
I never know whether I should hug or not
damn weird

But hey, I have a month or so left
I've resolved to hug everybody
because hugs are goodshit
well not total strangers la, but people close to me
and not people with bad BO
so go smell yourself first.

Car Rides Can Be Fun

Nat drives, beside her
57 yr-old Ray Sr is singing Gwen Stefani's- Hollaback Girl
other times he catches the tune of whatever
hip-hop rap or apeshit alternative rock song that's playing
and makes up his own lyrics
damn believable man

Ray Jr and I sit in the back seat
we alternate between playing the
stupid hand drinking game (without facing each other)
and owing each other drinks,
texting each other
and singing his stupid E40 song- Tell Me When to Go
my cousin is sucking me into his death music

Every so often (at a traffic light normally)
I lean forwards and shout
"Stop It!" at Nat
the Rays were surprised at this at first
but now they get it, Nat has this habit of twisting the
dial of her watch that just drives me up the wall

They introduce themselves to everyone as the Rays now
Sr. is this ball of neverending energy and wisecrackery
that's just unbelievable, impossible for us young ones to keep up with
but riotous

"What are we having for dinner Dad?"

"Halibut, just for the helluvit"

Shucks. Doesn't come out right, you have to be there.

Jr. is quiet but talkative spurts creep up on you
after his first surprising 10 minute spree on the 2nd day,
I applauded and said "You did good, cuz"

We talk shit, he complains I'm bitchy to his girlfriend(s)
and I tell him "Ladies first" when we bowl

He does something stupendously hilarious then turns around to me
while I'm laughing hysterically and warns
"If I go home and find out you blogged this
I'm on the next plane back here and I'm gonna find you
and beat the shit outta you!"

I moan about having to go to work tomorrow
and they gloat at the fact that they're on holiday

*8 days more*

Home.
I get out of the car, throw the ladies fur coat (that sweet Xena gave me)
at Jr. and say " Do you wanna wear it to bed?"
as I shut the car door
he roars "I hope you have a SHITTY day at work!!!"

And that's just an average car ride with my family
god I love it.

Finally *woot* Some Alone Time!

I'm sitting here typing
Anita Baker blasting in my ears
(Cos 'surprise!' Fion is sleeping at home)
Close Your Eyes-my favorite song by her

Yay! No more guests!
2 weeks in a row can kill man.

I'm kidding

I really do love having friends around
and doing the hostess shit
(and my friends are great! they know that coasters are needed,
they wash dishes, they empty the bin (=)
They've even created this great new game where they
stand by the edge of my bed and threaten to fall
into it, in outside clothes

just to speed my heartbeat up a bit and make my life more exciting
Fun Huh?

but that coupled with visiting relatives
wah damn tiring man.. but shiok
just gotta catch some alone time

I feel bad actually this time
because Kan didn't get the level of hospitality that
he's used to ;p

this time there was no coffee, no towels (all spent from the weekend before)
and no bed turn-down the second night cos the
hostess was drunk

We're walking up after a bowling session
(where I won 2 meals at Delicious)-proof right here so they don't forget
and Kan says
"You know Aja is drunk when you get home
and she doesn't make your bed
or make sure you have enough pillows
and just says goodnight and disappears into her room"

Me: "At least I said goodnight!"

Feel damn bad feel damn bad damn bad

I mean last week, I didn't have time to wash the toilet
before Angie and Shio-Shio arrived
so when I woke up hungover at 8.30 the next morning
I washed the toilet
Shio-shio said the smell of detergent woke her
and Kan, poor Kan
kwafee also got none

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Something that happened today (or yesterday considering the time):
I get out of the shower, towel clad, walk towards the living room
Vanessa is just leaving
"Love you babes,"
she says making as to wrap me into a hug

"Wait, babes CANNOT!" I squeal, widening my eyes and
jumping away from her
"Why babes?" she says all worried-like

"I just had a shower, going on my bed,
cannot touch you..but I love you?"

She rolls her eyes, walks away.

*Edited* -Early Monday AM

You know what sucks?
having to choose
then trying to do both
then thinking that it's simply not worth it
but still wondering if it is

Time is tight.
on Thursday after my last day of work (18th)
I had planned to go to KL
spend a long wonderful much needed degustation lunch
at Cilantro with Butta (talk talk talk)
see my godbaby (if she still remembers me)
watch the musical and see all my other friends
it would be my last weekend in KL
because the following Wednesday my cousin arrives from London
(and the very next day my cousin & uncle from the states leave)

then I have paternal family time with the new arrivals
we then go to CHR, TJR and Perhentian for slightly over a week
the new arrivals leave
I pack, and leave
(if all goes as scheduled and visa is approved soon)

Then I found out that almost my entire maternal family will be going with
the arrivals (states) to Bangkok
and I will be missing it since I already planned KL
my aunts from Japan and HK flying in
two aunts from Penang, an uncle already in BKK
and I can't bear the thought on missing out on so much
it will also probably be the last time I see my other two aunts and uncles
in a long time
so even if its for a short while, it'll be good

so I tried to shuffle things around
go to BKK on Thursday, fly back to KL in time for the musical on Saturday
cancel Butta on Friday, move her to Sunday
flights to BKK are okay but flying BKK to KL is crazy cos
it's single trip and cheaper to buy from there
a thousand bucks for 2 nights?
it's just one big stressful headache getting a ticket
and because everyone has already bought their flights and
they're all set, so I guess in the heat of anticipation, no one really cares

then I realise that actually, no one really invited me
and I already had great plans all set
so what am I stressing for?

*edited*

Okay I think the above was a bit the emo
my family is so totally worth it
anyways, I booked my ticket going there
trying to sort out the flying to KL bit

worry bout getting back to Penang later =D

Sometimes

Sometimes I don't know why I try so hard
when it seems that other people are so caught up in much else
and wouldn't even notice whether I bother or not.

What Are They Gonna Do, Fire Me?

I swear, that line keeps playing in my head
thanks J3
emboldens me

Today I waltzed into the office at 10am

pottered about it the pantry
made my coffee
eat my muesli
head a little fuzzy (call it quasi-hangoverededness)

*woot*woot* 8 days to go!!

It's amazing, I came home and blogged at 2 am
but never mentioned I had been out drinking
we were supposed to play Taboo but
ended up playing all these drinking games instead

the young uns soon left the aunt and uncle
who were lolling on the couch singing to no one in particular

I am proud to say that I've finally mastered (not quite judging from today)
the art of
playing that two-people-hand game thing
always wondered what it was
ping pong piang
fuzzy duck ducky fuzz

brain functioning not so well
over and out.

A Sappy Moment

Allow me this.

As time moves on faster
(I have 9 days left of work)
and it gets closer to my leaving
more and more people are showing me
how much they care
whether the smallest or the biggest
from-the-heart-actions

I want you guys to know how much I appreciate each and every action
and how truly blessed(though I am hardly religious) I feel.

So here (in no particular order) are my thank yous
(Aja's Oscar speech konon)

Thank you:

for being such an awesome, supportive family
for all our dysfunctionalism, our distance
we are and will always be, unbelievable

for being such super girlfriends
for the love, support, advice, long-lunches, taboo
gossip and AA sessions

for walking around in underwear and teaching me
how to use make-up

to all those that made an effort to look for those
pink ninewest shoes

to the one that finally found it (=

for wonderful holidays and company

for kit-kat, camomile tea and accompanying hand-written notes

to those that make the effort to come and see me
just for company

for the Cameron Highlands tea

for letting me choose articles

for teaching me how to fold clothes
then doing it for me cos I suck at it (=

to those that send those random
'I miss you' sms-es

for inviting me to the musical

for inviting me to the play

for getting me that body scrub (;

for saying you're sorry

for accepting my apologies

for learning how to play that song

for your endless emails

for making me laugh
and tugging at heart-strings

for tolerating me grouchy, bitchy and anal
for opening doors cause you know I don't like touching them
for simply layaning me and my camera

for my phone-holder thingymabob

for the paintings

for settling all those holiday plans even when you're busy

for the books and DVDs and 'Pretty-ness'

for the 'Babes, I love you , you know?"

for the undying support, enthusiam and love

I appreciate you guys, I swear, from the depths of my heart
and I do my best to reciprocate
thank you.