Heightened Sensitivity

For some reason
my nose is all funny today

I was sneezing like a bitch this morning
like I would
if someone hated me so much
that they coated all my belongings
with a fine dusting of pepper

It lasted for a good 30 minutes
snot was flying everywhere
(kidding, they were dry)

then it stopped
my sinuses cleared
and suddenly i started smelling things
on myself

see-sawing between
the powdery perfume of an old lady
and coagulated pig's blood
weird.

I can still smell it now
maybe I have a tumour
or something.

Daddy has a massive garden of lillies

Old Pictures from Merdeka Eve at Bagan

Dey, its Merdeka not Thaipusam

Things Heat Up

Two Drunkards

Rolling In The Ritz

You recall, a few weeks ago
a quarter of my dysfunctional family
and I
headed to KL for
a weekend at the Ritz?

Well there was something
that I didn't blog about
beause it was just
too darn traumatic.

I'm over it now.

I'm lolling about in the bathtub
Melissa is a duvet-roll in bed

A frantic banging (or ringing I don't remember)
fills the room
Melissa sleeps like the dead
So finally, covered in suds
I run out

"What?" I glower
at my aunt Nat, standing at the door.
Behind her
my other cousin looks on
as if waiting for something to happen

" Aja, will you do me a favour?"

I already know this is bad
I leave the door wide open
and slowly back into the room
"Nooooo" I holler
"Go away!"

"But I haven't even asked you yet" she pleads

"Its okay, the answer is 'no'"

She pleads for me to listen
finally I relent
"Will you please smell my armpits and tell me if they are smelly?"

"Whaaaaaatt? No bloody way!"

"Please!" she pleads on her knees
her arms are thrown high in the air.

"I just stopped using deodorant a few days ago,
and normally when you stop
you get bad B.O., but people can't smell their own,
so I need your help"

She tells me that my cousin Deanna and other aunt Pat
said 'No'
so, Melissa and I were the last resort.

"No' I say again, doubled over on the carpet

I'm laughing so much it hurts
Deanna is in the corridor on the floor as well
Melissa won't even peek out
but she is a lump of quivering jelly under the covers
aunty pat had locked Nat out of their room

Hmmmph smell her armpits, can you believe the nerve?
In the end I had to pretend to do it
to keep her quiet
we were already making too much of a racket
and the sight of her on her knees
with her arms thrown up
was just too much.

It was the Ritz for chrissake. Ah yes,
the pleasures of a serani family.

Ms Morrisette

Today I went to service the car
and didnt expect to spend money
but did
meaning that i used the money that I had
put aside
to buy myself new shirts for work
because all of mine got stained
with streaks of dye
(which explains why
I have been wearing the same 2 shirts)

I'm also half a month late on
my mobile bill
because stringers get paid
bloody slow (still not happening)

I find myself considering walking
more and more
so that I can maintain that one inch in the petrol tank

In my purse/wallet
I have oh maybe 30 bucks,
to last the next two weeks
and

I've been asked to write
an article on how people my age

Stretch The Ringgit

Yup, just call me Alanis.

irony aside,any comments?

Oh What A Dick

Every other month
the ape who inspired this post
materialises in my office
with his usual dose
of inconsiderate, tactless comments
He doesnt have the courtesy even say hello

"What is it with you?
everytime I see you your face seems to be getting rounder"
was his opening hit today

"What is it with you? You never seem to learn
any manners?" I shoot back
"Every single time you walk in here, you start off with a derogatory comment,
its so typical."

"Either you're getting fatter or paler.." he continues

but I
shut.it.out.

talk about making someone's day
he's married
he's in his 30s
surely, he's learnt a thing or two
about what to say and what not to say
to women

What he needs is someone to rip his balls out of
his hairy scrotum and forcefeed them to him

Just you keep this up
and I just might.

What People Don't Know

"A cup of strongly brewed coffee or tea has more caffeine than a weakly brewed cup."

Taken from Caffiene-Health Information
McKinley Health Center
University of Illinois

I would never have known that strong coffee or tea
has more caffiene than
weak coffee or tea.
Na-uh..not in a million years.

Wow, thanks for that genius piece of information.

Shoot Me Up

Wow! will you just look at what that
(double)shot of caffiene did?

From not writing at all
to a blogging marathon (with myself)

You know what I hate?
People who call you up
then expect you to know who they are immediately
like, recognise their voice you know?

Then if you cannot, they get offended.
What la.
I speak to ten thousand people a day

I recognise those 'special' people through
designated caller ring-tones
but if someone calls
from an unknown number
and I am stressed and busy
and stumped
then they get sensitive
"Huh? you don't know who I am ah?"

or worse
some actually prolong and engage in the guessing game
"Nope, guess again...no, again!"

Then I change tactics, I pretend I know
"Oh you is it?, sorry la, very busy at the mo',
call you back in a bit k?"

Then I just continue taking my dump.

If You Cannot Speak Properly Dont Answer The Goddamn Phone

Why oh why oh why
does my boss force me
to make calls to these fucking
sales and marketing
cunts
who can neither speak nor understand English
yet pretend that they do?
WHY?

Its Wednesday, for chrissakes
these things are meant for Monday
All they can say is
'Plis', 'escuse me' and 'I chek fo yewl'

'Eccuse me' comes most often
even when I speak very slowly, clearly and crisply

"Escuse me?" she goes
I then resort to speaking even more slowly,
painstakingly enuciating each syllable
so slow, that I want to slap myself and yell "Wake up!"

"Escuse me?"
Whoopee! Its like a merry-go-round
and if I had the time and patience
I could actually say something completely different
after each 'escuse me?'

But I don't.
I just resort to cave talk after the third one.

In fact, I am actually typing this while speaking to one of them
I don't even have to think before I speak
I can practically cue when I will next have to repeat myself
in pigeon-talk.
"Cost?", "How much money?" I grunt

"Yewl hang on plis, I chek fo yewl"

Oh Brother!

My 5 year old brother bounds into the kitchen
where Daddy is supervising me
as I prepare the vongole sauce

"Daddy," he says urgently baring his teeth
"Daddy, do my teeth look like they're falling out?"

Daddy scrutinises worriedly
"No Brendon, why? Do they hurt?"

"Oh..erm.. no" face falls
"Just wanted to earn some extra money from the fairy"

I Cannot Take It

So I'm giving up.
I tried to go without caffiene for a coupla days
but this,
is as far as its getting.

No more.
I can't write, I can't think
can't do jack shit
all I do is spend the day in a daze of groggy
slumbering haze
what a waste

and then there are the deadlines!
god the deadlines!

Go Away Witch!

God I am in so much pain.
For the past week I've endured this shit and I am sick of it
moody, achey, bloated, binge-ing, lethargic
and I feel ugly as cock

I also can't seem to get my head wrapped around this
stupid any-brainless-twit-can-do-it assignment
I've sat looking at it each day the past week
but my brain is unwilling to grasp it.

and it seems as though the whole female blogger population
are with me on this
PMS-ing en masse
who'd have thought?

yes I know when you're in a tight knit group o friends
the girls normally have sychronised menses
like when may, cel and I get ours hours apart

but lemmaleh cyberspace also can meh?
it is mentioned here and here(this one particularly entertaining)
even the fairy mentioned that
hers arrived today
as did mine.

I'm on MC today
just cannot lah
cannot.

stay in bed
and drift in and out of sleep all day.

I cannot wait
to be normal again.

A message from the Lord of Web.. 

Meet Angie

Having a name like Aja

really doesn't make my life any easier

granted, it can be a great ice-breaker

or

point of conversation when one is

really left with nothing else to say

but most times

it just serves to complicate

even the easiest of transactions.

Take going to the florist for example

(both my grandmothers got individual bouquets, handpicked by moi)

and by handpicked, i mean from buckets in refrigerators

I tell the florist I'll pick it up later

"Your name miss?" she inquires

"Aja" says I

"oh Eh-ja.."

"No, A-ja"

"Asia?"

"Nevermind my name is Ms. Ng, N - G ", I spell it out

"oh okay" she says, writing it down.

We dicuss a few minor details,

then I tell her I ll pick up the bouquets at 7.45.

"Bye Angie, thanks!" she trilled

as I swung out of the door.

Old Bird's Day

Today is the birthday of my grandmother

both my paternal and maternal grandmothers that is.

No, there will be no huge 'joint' celebration

my parents are divorced

and both sides don't mix

so yes,

today is the day Aja runs around ala headless chicken

and splits her time.

Anyways, off I went to the florist this morning

to get them a bouquet of flowers each

"What for?" said crabby daddy

when I told him my plans.

"Well because they've both been widowed so long..

when was the last time someone gave them flowers?

All women love flowers!"

I explained happily

"Hmmph", he huffed

"Well, the only time she's gonna get flowers is you-know-when"

:o

does that give you a clear impression of

daddy's love-hate relationship with his mother?

Aiyaiyai!

I was publishing the post below
when I realised that I forgot
to write
about something really nice
that happened on the way back from
the supermarket.

As I only had 50 on me
so, when I was done
a-shopping

I had only RM 4 left
but I needed a bottle of sesame oil
so I stopped at a little sundry shop
that I had never been to before

The smallest bottle,
RM 6
What to do?
I doubted that these people would be taken
in my lower-lip trembling prowess

So I tried my luck
"Can I pay you tomorrow?"
I said in my best-but-still-broken Hokkien
The lady and her husband exchanged glances
"I won't forget," I added "I 'll do it on my way to work"

They smiled.
Then said okay.
Can you believe that?
Trusting a total and complete stranger.
I thought all that existed were cynical con-men.

But there is hope
Really lifted my spirits
It made my day!

then today I forgot to pay
Can someone please remind me?
SMS me around 6 or something.

And go and give these people business ok?
on the left corner at the roundabout
coming from Marina Bay towards Gurney Drive
and by 'give them business' I don't mean
owe them money!

Warning- More Food Ahead!

You see that above?, that serves as a disclaimer.
I'm in a very 'foodie' mood and therefore will post another food blog.
So if you cannot stomach it,
STOP. Right now.
I won't take responsibility for your cravings and lack of ability in the kitchen.

It was obvious from my 2 posts yesterday
that I was in the mood to eat
but I didnt know til I got home
that I was also in the mood
to cook
It was one of those evenings,
with me and my kitchen.

So I set my things down at home
got into elevator
and headed for the overflowing aisles of Cold Storage

Well not immediately,
first I contemplated
walk or drive?
Walking won out,
so I patted a 50 note, my keys and I.D
into my back pocket
and off I set

Did't take long for the lewd remarks and catcalls to begin
I'm in my work-shirt and jeans
like that also can ah?
Fuckers.
No wonder we dont walk.

While I walked I listed off the leftovers in my fridge
that I had to use before they went off
My meal was already assembled in my mind.

Chilled Soba Salad

Walking back, I took the weight of the groceries
off my mind by mentally playing out
how I would cook the portabello mushrooms
(the only item that needed cooking)
Hmm grilled?sauteed?

I returned home,
Only to find my housemate hard-at-work
housecleaning.
her face fell

The one day we both decide to stay home
(rare)
was to do 2 things that
totally did not complement each other

"What are you making?" she asked, furrowed brow
"erm, just a salad" said I nonchalantly

I knew I couldn't cook
it wouldnt be fair
so I had to change my plans
microwave.
*shudder*
I hate microwaving.

Pah. small matter.

I halved the bellos
diced garlic and the white stalks of spring-onions
heated them for 1 min with butter
then tossed in the mushrooms
and covered them with chicken stock
to minutes later
my mushrooms were poached and
the stock was heavenly
I set them in the fridge to chill.

In my fridge
I had leftover:
roasted peipa duck
green apples
cold soba

I had bought:
stalks of spring onions
cherry tomatoes
arugula (a love affair that will never end)

I put the arugula in the mushroom stock
to wilt
then set about halving the tomatoes
and thinly slicing everything else
then I arranged it all around
the pile of soba
and left it in the fridge to chill

Looks damn good right?
cos it fucking was
I 'm so glad I made it.

Once the mushrooms
were chilled
and plump, and juicy from absorbing
oozing garlicky mushroom-chicken stock
I sliced them up

sliced the apple into thin match-sticks
(do them last so they don't discolour, or slice early and toss in some citrus juice)

Then I poured the rest of the stock over the noodles
drizzled with a teensy bit
of sesame oil
Ta-da!

Paused to take pictures first
then messed up my neatly arranged piles
by tossing everything
then
settled in bed
with "A Very Long Engagement"
(excellent film I thought)
and walloped!

Sigh..I do so love
my nights with me

Oh Clafloutis

I had no cream
nor milk
nor any vanilla

all I knew was
that in my fridge
lay a huge bag o cherries
heck, they didn't even belong to me
but I just knew, I had to make clafloutis

and so it became..
I relieved the cherries of their stones
brought the butter to room temperature
I improvised
added orange yoghurt drink
in place of milk and vanilla
desperate measures, I know

then I sat by the oven
my face burning by the hot glass pane
as the clafloutis begin to grow
custardy, creamy
the cherries grew a plump and robust purple
the batter thickened and puffed
a beautiful golden brown
It was done.

All I wanted was a mouthful
One mouthful,
to take me back to a cool summer morning
a quaint B 'n' B
in the breathtaking town
of Niagara-on-the-Lake
A french chef-turned-owner
(not quebecois, parisien mind you)

Even with the improvisations
the job got done
I went to bed dreaming
happy north-american-road-trip dreams

Ice-wine and pierogies
dining by the vineyards
on a dish that cost an arm, a leg and probably a bottle of Bovril
backyard barbecues despite the chill
hunting down the best wanton noodles in the world
at 1 am in the morning.

Padding down the hall
in my double layer of socks
to put on the coffee
and make the kids a breakfast
they would only eat half of.

the next day,
I had the rest of the clafloutis
missing a mouthful
a chilled tub of vanilla yoghurt
poured over.

Comfort Food

On days when I'm snuggled up in bed
savouring each episode of
Nip/tuck Season 2 and the delectable
Julian Mc Mahon
and am suddenly struck by the midnight munchies
I turn to these pieces of heaven on a plate.

Grilled cheese toasts and green apple

This isn't merely cheese and bread
The Grilled Cheese toast is in an entire league of its own

Its more than that,
its the grilling/toasting
of the whole thing that transforms
into a whole new level of tastes and textures

The hard yet crumbly cheese melts on the bread
becoming a smooth creamy coat of heady goodness
mixing with the butter and touch of mustard
soaking into the soft center of the bread

the bread goes from soft to crisp
a sprinkle of crumbs
as the crust cracks upon contact with you teeth

leave it in the oven a little longer
(we own no toaster, and for that I have no regrets)
and the cheese starts to bubble and pop
golden brown pockets appear
now all it needs is a sprinkle
of freshly cracked black pepper

you flip it off the oven rack
with barehands
because you just can't wait
(or cant be bothered to find the tongs)

chilly slices of crisp green apple
to eat layered on bits of your toast
or to chase a mouthful of cheese and bread
tart juicy apple, rich stringy cheese
fresh sweetness, intensely aged savoury

This is a marriage made in heaven
a comfort food that stands alongside

chicken rice
jiu hoo char
chocolate
creamy chicken soup

satiates the soul.

He Says, She Says

He, " Are you PMS-ing ah?

She: Erm ...no, why?

He, " Damn, could have fooled me.."

She: I am now!

In Love!

"...I have learned from the mistakes I made in the past,
and I am not going to repeat them.
I'm never going to take her for granted;

I'm always going to be on time;

I am always going to call if I am running a little late;
I'm always going to make sure that she knows
she comes first above everything else;

I'm always going to keep the romance alive and
never settle for anything less than being totally and utterly in love;

I'm always going to make sure that we really talk
about what's truly on our minds;

and most of all, I'm going to spend the rest of my life
doing everything I can to make sure
she's happy because
I feel like I have a purpose in life when I'm with her...

and well, anyone who's seen a smile like hers,
would know exactly where I am coming from ;o) "

When I read the above, my heart melted
and my legs turned to jelly
there exists hope!

But, had to be my own bloody cousin who wrote that right?

Positively Patriotic

I have always been the type of person
who could never settle down
in one place

Always had this burning need to travel
move around
learn and experience
new places
new food
and cultures
see different points of view
see different ways of living
but when I go,
there always comes a point

when I miss Malaysia.

There is a lot that needs changing,
but for now, here's what makes me happy.

Despite some flaws
and some mind-sets
that can eventually
be ironed out
with patience and
education,
our country is beautiful.

I love how here,
4 people of different races can sit
and have a meal together
each person speaking
each other's language
eating each other's food.

Does that happen anywhere else?
I don't know, but I like to think
it's unique to us.

Yes, sometimes there is underlying racial
tension
we jokingly pass racist remarks
in conversations
but at the same time
we all have great friends of each race.

I love the variety
and I love the fact that food
is 'the' Malaysian thing.
It's no surprise that Malaysians love their
food
we meet new people over food
we bond over food
we connect over food
we fight over food
we heal over food
anytime, anywhere

I love the warm weather
the ocean and beaches
our tropical island paradises

I love the city for all it's modern skyscrapers
and creative entertainment variety
it's vibrance til the wee hours of the day

I love driving down the trunk road
and spotting the occasional kampung house
amongst the swaying coconut trees

I love a duty free martini
while soaking in the sun
on Pantai Cenang

I love perusing the market shelves
while holding my breath
at Pulau Tikus market

I love spending Sundays on
a rocky boat
waiting for a fresh catch of barracuda

I love standing in the middle
of the jungle alone
and freezing up at the sound of a
wild-boar trampling around

I love getting tipsy
and taking a trishaw ride
around the old town
at 3 am

I love that our location
makes most places
so easily accessible

I love dusty heritage buildings
and the big old trees

and sometimes, I even love how unruly certain things
in this country are

The fact is, no matter
where I go
or for how long
eventually, I'll always come back to Malaysia.
This is my home.

Pubic Hair Topiary

Saturday afternoon
I met Angeline
at La Bodega Lounge
expecting the others
to come early
and to have a few hilarious rounds
of Taboo.
Didn't happen.

Instead Mr.Cham text out of the blue
and decided to come
and as always,with Mr. Cham
came the alcohol at 3pm.

By 5 , I was pink in the cheek
trying to walk coolly to the toilet
and 'hover' without splashing my buttcheeks
with gushing piss
while reading the toilet
ads.

One was for the Ozmosis Spa
and just like that
I called, for a Brazillian.

"Oh my god, babe," said Angeline
reaching for my hand
and scrunching her face up in imaginary pain
when I broke the news
that I had a booking in 40 mins

"Do they do men?" piped Mr. Cham

Angeline starts to regale me with horrow
waxing stories
"Its okay babe, I've done it before" I assure
even though now,
I was beginning to feel slightly unsure.

Then the Spa called.
Could I come now?
Appointment brought forward.
Whoop-tee-doo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first part of my body that I ever got waxed

was the area
commonly known as 'bikini'

but it wasn't
just the bikini area

oh no, I went for the bloody Brazillian

Being my first time and all

I guess it was pretty fucking dumb

of me.

This was 2 yrs back

I'm on 9hr transit
at Changi en-route to Meenambakkan

So I hop into a cab and head for Orchard Road

after a solo Chicken Rice lunch

and some wandering around

some stunned gasping

at the exorbitant prices

I decided to look for a place
that would give me a Brazillian

but all the places I went to

didn't provide the service

( hahah somehow I find that sentence funny)

Eventually, I opted for a French Manicure at

some dark, dingy place

that I can't remember the name of

Somehow the conversation with my manicurist
came around to waxing

and I nonchalantly mentioned the Brazillian

"Oh! We do it" she says

Oh yes, it was one of those,

one of the "We do it all" type places.

I warily looked around

"Er no, just inquiring", I said lowering my eyes.

But it was too late

I was going to get sucked into

this bubbling vortex of sizzling sales pitches
and in the end relented.

The 'waxing room', was the 7x4foot space
at the end of the shop
hidden by a thin plastic curtain

To say I was self-conconcious,
as I sat my bare bottom down
on the cold bed-type-thing
and opened my legs to this stranger
understatement of the century.

The woman was clearly as
uncomfortable
to be peering in between my lips
as I was with her doing it

she did her job swiftly
I bit down on my sweater
from the pain

She'd done the top triangle
and was about to move down
"Stop" I said, "Cannot, too painful"

"Are you sure?"

I nodded in silent confirmation.

"Excuse me, miss?" Piped another voice
from the other side of the curtain.
"It really hurts less down there,trust me"

(yes to my utter embarassment the whole salon had had the pleasure of
hearing me throughout my ordeal)

"Okay I'll trust you" I said to the stranger,
knowing that if I stopped now
everyone in the salon would brand me
the 'pussy'.

And you know what?
She was right.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fast forward to 2 years later in Bangsar
Aida greets me warmly
she is professional
and I am comfortable stripping off
in front of her

We chat throughout
I ask her how she got into
the line

how much she earns
(more than me)
what the client base is like
(80% expats)
Whether she's had dodgy clients
(yes, she threathen to call the non-existent bouncer)

and the next thing I knew
I looked down
and
botak.

She's good. I recommend her.

Walk That Runway Baby

Kay-ell was two nights ending at Zeta
stumbling back into the hotel room
to pass out
and finding out
that Peter had stumbled in
and passed out
way before.

Though we went to KL together
Pete's and I
ended up doing completely different things
because we have different tastes
as to what good
music, food and drinking joints are
and I was basically a grouchy bitch
(he made me walk for god's sake)
in KL. Me, in heels)
I mean, if I am in London and the weather is cool and crisp
and there is a walking culture
I sure as hell don't mind
But the walking culture doesn't exist here
and it doesnt exist for a reason.

Anyways
Saturday night
Vans, Em, Ange and I
went out to Asian Heritage Row
with a mission to drink, dance and not be bothered
by any sleazy bastards.

We were obviously stupid to have our sights
set so high.

15 minutes in Savanh
and the old men had formed a ring around our table
other girls were throwing daggers with their
eyes
as the men started taking turns
to come and chat us up

We rolled our eyes and left.

What is it with this?
You know, that,
"girl, those girls are competition and we are going to stare them down"
thing that they got going...
If you have a complex, deal with it,
don't take it out on us.

Honey, you'd enjoy your night a lot more
if you'd just concentrate on your
friends and your fun,
or if you're trying to pick-up:smile
rather than staring green-eyed at
other girls who are having a good time
because you feel inadequate and
jealous of the attention they're getting.

The only reason we get the attention is because
We don't fucking give a shit
what anyone thinks
We go out
we drink
we do kooky dances(think spastic)
and we have a blast
just us
and thats the fact that draws people.

if you cared about what everyone
thought in this country
and wanted to let loose and have fun
at the same time
then you might as well do it
in a cardboard box.

Urg. I really don't mean to sound so arrogant,
but sometimes it's just too much
as if I want to steal your man
or potential suitors la?
Some confidence might be good eh?

So anyway, scooted to Ivy
na-uh
Then to Mojo
-dead
Didn't even contemplate the Ah Beng haven
called the Loft
Too much of Velvet
So, Zeta again!

There, I met a guy called Dick
his real name, nary a Richard in sight

There we danced like we were
Indians at Thaipusam
and laughed like hyenas
at ourselves

There we came to each other's rescue
when unwanted male attention
came a-knocking

There we stood aside
in respect and gladness
when desired male attention
came a-walking

There, we thanked each other
for being a friend
hugged and said "I love you"

There we celebrated
4 single, independent women
toasting with double-strength vodka martinis

From Angeline's Balcony

The Flower Display at Shang

Where Did We Go?

Now Really...

Finding TJ

Me and My Girls

What A Week

Butta says my bosses are really making me work for my _____ ______.
I agree.

wait, no I don't.

It's just that suddenly things went mad this week
as is the norm
with PR and Advertising
the lull
then the sudden super dooper hectic frazzled all-hours work
piles in.

I tried to bitch about work
In the 10 short minutes that
I saw my ex for the day before yesterday
( I needed help getting my tyres filled)
but i didn't get the response I wanted
he barely nodded
tra-la-la-ing
acting as if
I was over drama-ing
How upsetting.

So then I said
"I've been so busy that I haven't blogged for a week"
His jaw dropped to the floor
His eyes widened in disbelief
Congratulations, Aja
mission accomplished.

Seriously,
12 hrs each day
are no joke.

I don't know how
Angeline Baby
does it.

In other news,
I am the luckiest niece in the world
all my 5 aunts
love me.

Uh huh, of course it helps that
I'm a wonderful person.

My Japan-aunty
just came back, then went back
while she was here
I obtained
my early birthday present
it's also know as a T-33
and with it
I have taken a shitload of
meaningless pictures
but cant post them up
and waste your time
because I don't have the
necessary cables/card-reader.

So,
you're spared
you can thank me now.

Last night I finished just before 10 pm
was supposed to have dinner
but had to ask my ex to tapau

then I went to his place
and picked a fight with him
even after he went back to the shop
to change the wine
from white to red
because this bitch
plain refused to drink white

So I ended up eating alone
me and the food and my laptop
and bottle of merlot
missing a glass
that I was so kind to give him

By the time I finished
drooling
over Julian Mc Mahon
(sigh...the ultimate man, man)
the wine had all disappeared
down my gullet.

Cant wait til tomorro
for the week to be over
but for now
it's far from over
2 deadlines to meet yet
a pub review(woo hoo free alco!) tonight

I havent blogged for so long
that I don't know how to anymore
too tired
too stressed
too uninspired

give up.

oh wait found a pic that I uploaded earlier
me dawgie
he's almost a year old now!

I Just Know It

Today is going to be a bad day.
I can tell.

I Work With A Weirdo, Her Name is Aja

I am listening to french radio on my laptop
My headphones are on
but
not plugged in
subjecting the rest of the office
to rapid indecipheral speech and lots of hawking.

Gabe surreptitiously cast sideways glances
every now and then
as does my Boss when he walks by

I am trying my best to look
completely, utterly absorbed
in what I am pretending
is blaring into my ears

They are wondering whether
I am fucking stupid
to have headphones
on
yet not notice that they are not plugged in
or
if they are hearing things.

" Aja?" says Gabe.

"Huh? yeah?" I say a little too loudly.

" Are you hearing anything on your headphones?"

"No gabes, can't you hear the music coming from my laptop?"
I look at him concernedly
"I'm just warming my ears".

Later my Boss walks by again.
He stops by my desk.

The radio is on the breakfast talkshow
and the hosts are playing a joke on parisian taxicab companies..

Boss lifts a quizzical eyebrow
he hovers
I am absorbed in the beat that
I'm supposedly hearing

Ask, damn it
I silently will him.

He opens his mouth
he shrugs and turns away.

Damn! I so wanted to tell him
that I unplugged the headphones
because
the music
was disturbing
the voices in my head.

Graphic Designers! Anyone?

In light of Gayle's departure from
my working life
and
(from the looks of her blog)
the world wide web,

I have become closer to my Bosses and colleagues.
By closer I mean they are
more exposed to my weirdness.

Yesterday, Gabe hardly batted a lid
when I asked him
if he played any sport
and whether he has a belly

Aaron said "Sometimes"
when I asked him if he talks to his belly

Then he poked me with his stick
(so he could tell his friends that he poked me with his stick)

Aaron said that I have lost fans in his friends
because I went to Pangkor Laut with
A Guy

Oooooooh
come on la
did I not very clearly state he's an ex boyfriend
my very good friend?
its bad enough when people who do read me
misunderstand
but when people who dont know me
misinterpret as well?

Yes, people can be friends with the exes
yes, a male and female can spend 24 hours with
each other
and not have sex

ever heard of companionship? conversation?

anyways, where was I?

my Boss merely continued our meeting
eventhough I interrupted with
"Man, do I need to shit"

and the other day during
a meeting
with Steve, Hin, Capes and Gabes,
Aaron said, " Shoot in different positions"
and I said
"Oooh, I likeeeee"
But it was as if the men didn't see me!

Bloody hell, I just looked at my subject line
I am sooo digressing.

Graphic Designers.

Why are they all bloody chinese-ed nowadays?
When another advert that I had so clearly
loved in my head
came out all skewed and chinesey

I mini-ranted at my Boss
Get me English- Speaking!!! for god's sake!
I want someone who bloody reads the accompanying texts
understands the concept, and designs accordingly.
and he said
"You have no idea how hard that is"

according to him
its all gone topsy-turvy
the Chinese students are thronging Art and Design
while the Amoh-ed are going for Business and Accounting

Is this true???

Mo Far Kor Pt.II

In an attempt to educate the
ignorant prissy bitch in me
following that Mo Far Kor incident
induced by Butta
Floe has sweetly some up with this

Made me laugh out loud, Thanks!

A Month of Art

I had a glimpse of it
and found it interesting
but I've been a pretty busy bee today
and havent been able to really get into it
but from what I see
I like

Go and check it out
www.30dayartist.blogspot.com