A Pleasant Encounter

Aja hates.....most of the service industry here.

Fucking smile for god's sake.

It is your job to grit your teeth and bloody well smile even if I ask you to scrape green gunky shit off my toenails with your teeth.

Be nice. This is your goddamn job.

You are supposed to be kind, helpful, polite, gracious and accomodating to me, the guest/customer.

Stop acting like you're doing me a goddamn favor when you're doing what's required of you to keep your fat arse on the payroll.

Come on, someone has to agree with me that the service at hotels, restaurants and shops in this country sucks in a big way.Why? Aren't us Malaysians supposed to be friendly?

If you were the employer, why in hell would you hire terrible staff that pontentially screw your business up?Fuckin Genius.

This brings me to my pleaasant surprise, as I was leaving the Continental Bakery (post below), the girl at the cash register called me back,"Miss, be sure to hold your bag tightly incase someone tries to grab it"

I was blown away (she actually spoke in broken English, which makes it all the more surprising).

Once in awhile, these great little things creep in on your day, but the fact is, should we actually have to be pleasantly surprised at sales people treating us nice?

isn't that how it should be all the time?

The First Bite is the deepest......

Le Croissant

Coffee, Croissants,Computer....what more does a girl need?

The Gripes

I have got "the gripes".

This happens when I have an intense craving for something and cannot find it here.

You see, when you're PMS-ing (yes, finally!, not on the exact date as Gayle, but almost!),

you need to satiate those cravings or you're fucked.

I had major major cravings for a proper,proper chocolate croissant, and when my plans to import from Pangkor Laut Resort fell through, I was desolate.

Ah but god is kind!(especially to nice people)

I went to Giant this morning in search for Kraft Ranch Dressing, to no avail. I became addicted to this shit in Canada, and only found it ONCE here, which makes it even worse because you know its there but eluding you.

So no dressing.I swung by the Continental Bakery for their version on Apple Strudel ( it starts with a layer of rich chocolate cake, topped with creamy vanilla custard, followed by cinnamonny-raisiny apple filling, then wrapped in fillo pastry).

No more Apple Strudel, ever.Discontinued.

I was all ready to throw a proper PBF (prissy-bitch-fit), but there, glistening in the corner of the polished glass display case, a batch of Chocolate Croissants!Woo-Hoo!

It sits in front of me now, at regular intervals, I caress it lovingly with my eyes.I shall wait til tea-time, thats when I'll devour it like the great greedy bitch that I am.

He Says, She Says

Just now he said," You're not happy, you don't sound it nor look it"

And I said," Honey, its just the company"

Muahahahahahaha

Encounters With E.T.

Everyday I have encounters with aliens.

You see, my office is divided into 4 departments, Administration, Creative Design, Multimedia & Writing and ALIENS.

The aliens pop up(poof!) from nowhere. We don't know them, they are nameless.

Their sole job is to scan things.

The aliens are small and scary, and when I go home I get nightmares about them.

When we walk through the Alien Department they turn and stare at us with their gooogly eyes.

My Boss, says they are not actually aliens and that we're being mean, but he's too scared to go near them and ask them who they are and what they are doing here in the first place.

I think they are watching us.

Random Shrandom

o shit, I coughed and a gob of spit fell on my brand new lap-top

(yes its here!)

Yesterday was a very, very bad day.

So lets hope today is better.

Last night, it was just me and Percy(my laptop), in bed alone, with a bowl of hokkien noodles, some apples with Nutella(slurp), and a movie called "The Notebook"(how appropriate, on my new notebook), sweet love story thing that I did NOT need after my emotional day. But it did the job.

We had fun, just the two of us, 'twas a date made in heaven.

Gayle is setting a world record for PMS-ing, man I thought I was bad, no sirreee, she takes the cake! currently cursing at the computer.(?)

At 2 am I got a friendly text from my x, requesting that I remove all mention of him from my blog. Are you kidding? It's a year's worth of blogging, that 8,337 words to edit! Not happening, I do not have the time.I will however remove pictures, and change the name, then I'll have like, a whole new x-boyfriend!

Morning or Mourning?

I breeze into the office this morning with a cheery 'hellooooo',

and Gayle goes, " Gawd, coffee already?", rolling her eyes.

Its no secret that she is PMS-ing.

We used to have synchronised PMS,

but now, somehow, are no longer in sync

It sucks, she is rude and ignores me

And it hurts )=

What Would I Do Without The Girls?

Today was hectic,hectic,hectic!

An array of family problems cropped up (and then some...)

Amongst which was the fact that my dear mother forgot to get my sister at school.

I was screaming on the phone to various people

Then had to leave May and Cel at lunch to get my sis

They decided to come with me, so there we were the 3 of us, running the length of 2 football fields, across the dusty carpark to my car.

Celyn all heels and skirt in office-lawyer mode,

May looking breezy in low-down mode,

Me, all semi island-office mode,

Traipsing high-speed in panic mode.

Had it not been so dire, we would have collapsed laughing (and from the sun and speed)

Thank you darlings for being there for me, I love you guys.

yes yes, and you too Gayle.

Anticipating Percy

Percy came yesterday, but before he came,I sent the guy that I purchased him from an email where I wanted to be polite, but not pushy, yet make a statement that, I had been waiting for 2 weeks, and I want my effing laptop!!

What followed was a series of entertaining emails ( I thought so anyways), so I wanted to share it.

*names changed for privacy and all that jazz

What Aja Does @ Work aka Fun With Real Emails

From: Aja Ng [mailto:aja_ngmeiying@yahoo.com]

Sent: Monday, March 21, 2005 11:14 AM

To: Joseph

Subject: RE: FW: The Silent Treatment

OI mR JOsEpH WhERe iS It???????

His reply was:

Joseph**@Dell.com wrote:

i+

! s

( 0 /\/\ /\/\ ! /\/ (;

+ 0 ) @ `/

~!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:P

To which I said:

From: Aja Ng [mailto:aja_ngmeiying@yahoo.com]

Sent: Monday, March 21, 2005 12:01 PM

To: Joseph

Subject: RE: FW: The Silent Treatment

@ /`{=

[_]

S[_]/`{=

??

\/\/ - {= /\/

??

;P

then came this!cheeky bastard..

Joseph**@Dell.com wrote:

The time given was about [ (120 / 5) / (24 * 0.2) ] PM

*grin*

Aja Ng wrote:

[_]/`{=

@

[) ! ( [< [-] {= @ [) !!!

s0

!

9[_] {=sS

[_]

\/\/![ [

P@sS

!+

t0

/\/\[=

+0/\/!9[-]+ ?

* thank god am never without calculator! Bleks

DO your own calculations!

What matters is, Percy is safe at home (=, I had a laugh getting him though.

Someone Said

Someone said today, " I notice you mention no men in your blog nowadays..."

Hahahahaha why?

Number One: Its no good to kiss and tell

Number Two: They might read my blog and find out about others (;

Number Three:I'm not getting serious about anyone so there's no point parading anything.(you know how they talk in this community..)

Number Four: Men are boring!

'Cept Blue, who's funny as hell and makes me laugh like a bitch.

Parading in Pudu

So there I am, a rainy Sunday afternoon in Puduraya Station.

None of my friends ever do Pudu, its always NICE buses for them(if they have no driver),

its only me, the quasi/hippie backpacker chick who will attempt to travel alone from the godawful (-shudder-) Pudu Station.

Pudu.On.The.Last.Day.Of.SCHOOL.HOLIDAYS.and.Its.Pouring.Rain.

Can you imagine?

The smell is overbearing, all around me. Dirty old men looking up at me, amputees hobbling around flaunting their missing limbs and begging bowls, scarf covered, tiny malay girls scurrying here and there, Chinamen jostling for space.Little kids with those mother-fucking annoying roller-sneakers falling all over the fucking place.

And me,hungover,one-hour of sleep the night before,trying hard not to breathe in with my nose, smack in the middle of this hysteria, in my pointy leather shoes and Pink LV sling bag. I had to laugh at myself, it was incredibly funny.

When I finally did get a bus seat, into the seat next to me scrambled a ham-faced chinaman. I want to tell you about his mustache: Thin, sparse, scraggly, but the thing that got me most was that each and every hair were of different lenghts, from 1-3 inches in difference!Why oh why would anyone want to do that to themselves?Don't the little longer bits over your lips get in the way when you eat?Don't they tickle and make you sneeze like a bitch?

Thankfully, no attempt to converse was made. Until he fell asleep;which was when the little yelping noises started. He would be deeply,deeply asleep then start yelping like a lost puppy.Then came the twitching.( * aja rolls eyes)

I tried to sleep.But the bus driver drove like he was possessed and that worried me.

When Mustachioed Uncle lifted both arms and out his hands behind his head, the stench caused me to pass-out, and thus pass through the rest of the journey, unconcious.

I woke up in Butterworth. The whole bus was panicking because we were supposed to be going to Penang! Turns out, they were just dropping people of and continuing on.I could take it no more, so I hopped on the ferry instead.

Ah the sweet sea breeze of home!

A Tribute to Sepet

Not once have I waxed lyrical about a Malaysian film. Sepet has that honour.

In an industry that seems intent and content with producing melodramatic bullshit and carbon copies of Hong Kong Kung Fu, Bollywood 'Tree' Scenes, A Japanese Horror, all rolled in one, SEPET is a breath of fresh air. It is hope. It is something to be proud of.

It captures the very essence and many facets (albeit not all of) our culture, it is a film for us, a malaysian( note, Malaysian, not 'Malay') film to be proud of.

Please go. It will make you smile, laugh and cry.

Originally banned by the film censorship board, it begun screening first in Singapore, and was re-evaluated and allowed after 8 minor cuts. A story of a Chinese boy and Malay in love, but don't worry, it isn't so much a sappy love story, as it is a brilliant portrayal of the different nuances of Malaysian society.

Please go. Its worth it. Once we support the good stuff maybe they'll quit making the shite stuff.

Anyway would I waste my precious time asking you to watch crap.

It is deserving of your time.

Weekend in the Valley

Chick Reunion in Kuala Lumpur

Nights

One: The Girls Reunite (Moet & Chandon Party at the Crowne Plaza)

As soon as May and I got KL we descended upon the gang, a flurry of hugs, kisses. Everyone talked at once, as more bubbly flowed tongues got looser, laughs got louder, emotions grew stronger.

The do included 3 ex- Ms Malaysia's and a variety of other celebrity/model-type people but every head in the room was turned towards " Those noisy Penang girls", but did we care? Not!!

Champagne was coming out of our noses! I've never said no, but this time," Enough! No more Moet." I do prefer Veuve Clicquot anyway.

Later, us Three ( A dental appointment made us lose Tracy) swooped into Loft, followed by Zouk. The other girls were pooped, who should drive?I said I should!

(I realise I am writing in a weird fashion, but hell)

Anyways you know me, anything, anywhere, anytime to appease those inane food cravings, tonight it was Frog's Legs Porridge. To Jln. Alor we went, tapaued ( I am not called the tapau queen for no reason) to the hotel. Where May threw a fit at the parking guy (definately not fit!) for lack of spaces for our car to fit.

Checked in. I opted for the floor, was a sleepy bore.. and the other two talked til four.

As morning came, May's phone would ring, again and again, oh it was such a pain!

Two: Luna..and then the Loft?(was toss)

At the top of Menara Pan Global, sits a shimmering little jewel,

A bar thats fit, for a reigning czar,

So there we sat, with Lychee Martinis

I assure you, the crowd, were not from the boonies

God. I have to stop that.

Memorable things about Luna: Some Scandinavian guy told us a disgusting gay joke within the 1st minute of meeting us. ( Good one man, sure scored some brownie points there!)

It was very hot and humid. Being so high up, alcohol went to the head faster. The drinks were good, the pool inviting, the height fascinating.

Off to the Loft. Packed. Tired. Supper. Passed out in LWD ( as opposed to Little Black Dress).

Three: Dinner at Modesto's, Mambo at Velvet

To start: Bruschetta, Escargots in Garlic Cream, Carpaccio

Entrees: Rib-eye with Mushroom Sauce, Spaghetti Vongole, Roasted Lamb Shank, Grilled Rack of Lamb

Dessert: Apple 'n' Cream Pizza

As you can see, we 3 had a sumptous dinner with Sunny. Plusses on food, company and ambience. Then we headed to velvet.

We looked the bomb, together. I really must say ( not to blow my own trumpet) but one hot girl on her own?..bah..THREE girls, all hot and different WOW!

It was inevitable that each were ''on call" the entire night to help others beat unwanted men off with sticks. Tell me, do I have a sign on my forehead that says "yes,I am a bimbo, gawd please, I want to be picked up and have my arse grabbed by sleazy men using cheesy pick-up-lines"?

Some personality, some respect, some restraint and some humour, please, is that too much to ask?

I wore this stupid dress that I bought in Canada. Black, Short, Slit from chest to mid-driff, looks good, but uncomfortable as hell. Always wondering if my boob or arse was exposed. Not worth it. Will never wear that dress again.

Its up for auction, any takers?

Supper at a mamak, by a drain full of rats. Home at 6, just in time for Oprah!yay!

(thank you Oprah for helping archive butta's closet)

Slept @ 7. Woke at 8.

( Thank you bodyclock for making sure I am up for work on time, even on weekends when I am hungover and don't work)

Days

One:Bon Bon, Bangsar

We had a long, lazy, caffiene fuelled lunch in the smoky blue haze of Bon Bon, a chic french bistro a`la Parisienne ( okay, I'll admit, didn't try the coffee, only a dry martini)

Lunch was shared.

Amuse Bouche( daily complimentary small starter-like tid bit) : Some truffled mushrooms on toast thingie....

To start:Duck Rillette in Filo Pastry, Seafood Bisque with Armagnac ( french distilled white wine liquor), Caesar Salad ( us girls need our greens)

Entrees:Squid Ink Risotto with Baby Octopus, Char-grilled Beef Ribs on Foccacia, Spaghetti Pomodoro with Freshwater Prawns.

Dessert: Lecka-Lecka Chocolate..

One word: Divine

Two:Alexis Bistro

I had Onion Soup and Caesar Salad. (as you can tell, it was nothing to shout about)

Vanessa had Chicken Rice. SO so so Good!

5 bottles of wine and 4 hrs later, lunch was over.

All the time in between was spent walking around shopping malls, having coffee, and mostly getting ready to go out..

And thus,'days and nights' in KL.

Thank you Jenny and Rene for your comments, you did not leave email adds, so I could not write personal msgs!(=

Foster Says..

Men should trim or shave their nuts because its a bother to pick hair out of your teeth in between.....

Ditzy Terms 'n' Foster says...

On the trip to Kl, the very entertaining Foster (dahling...) regaled us with many toe-cringing stories about gay life/likes/dislikes and the life of an ex-cabin crew member of an airline. Foster is a massive laugh, sweet, FLAMBOYANT, loud, bitchy...etc

So, as they come to me, I will gradually add "Foster says" tidbits..beware!

Also the girls and I coined some ditzy terms, so I'll add those too...

Ditzy Terms

Butta is a Placist.

Why?

Picture this scenario:

" Hey do you wanna go eat DimSum at Jln. Alor?"

"Eww...Jln. Alor? Helllll....No!"

but

"Hey do you wanna go eat DimSum at Lai Po Heen in the Mandarin Oriental?"

"Ooohhhh definately, Hellll.....Yeah!"

Place-ist

Placist.

All That Jitters

The latest: On Me

I purchased a new laptop that has yet to be delivered.

I decided to stop smoking lastnight (huh..lets see how long that lasts!)

( see, even myself doesn't have faith in me....)

I had a good time and great dinner on 'The World'.

(pretty lazy to write about the world, so if you wanna check it out, www.aboardtheworld.com)

Dinner was:

A trio of starters: Foie Gras Pate, Sweet Cream of Corn Soup,
Salmon on a Green Bean Salad

Main: Beef Fillet on a Fresh Pea and Potato Mash,
Tiger Prawns on Saffron Risotto, Roasted Shallots
(the meat was tender, flavoursome..ahh)

Dessert: Chocolate Fondant with Raspberry Sorbet and Mango Coulis.

I will not attempt to describe because it
will make me drool over the desk.

So, he did decide to leave Johnson with my dad.
I dropped him off at lunchtime yesterday and watched in horror as he
almost immediately jumped into the pond trying to
hunt down my dad's carp.

What's even worse is, he is too fat
(okay its the way the pond is built too)
to get out on his own so someone has to dash out of the house
and save his arse.

And it happened at least 7 times (labradors love water) yesterday,
i guess that being his first day,
it either gets better or WORSE from here.

I am anticipating many raving,
frustrated phone calls from dad over the next month,
fuelled by grandma's nagging.

Aside from that though, Jon loves it.
He has never before been set free in such a big space,
he went crazy.

After the dips in the pool he proceeded to roll around
in the dirt, scrabble around in the foliage,
and attend to his followers (the 5 beagles follow him around,
so its a long line of dogs running, looping around the garden).

His cream coat that his father has so lovingly washed
with apple-scented shampoo earlier, is now the colour of milo-peng.

This is where my heart broke:

After dinner the dogs settled down for bed.

But my dog, who has never slept out in the garden,
or in pitch blackness before, started to whine.

He is used to clean, crisp, sheets.
The warmth of a human being who loves him, next to him.

He is used to being scratched before bedtime,
having his ears rubbed and coat combed.

And now, he was outside of a strange house,
with strange dogs, away from home, bed, and warmth.

I watched him as he went to each individual dog,
nuzzled them, trying to wake them up, then eventually
moving off to his own corner and going to sleep.

Oh god was I sad. So I left.

the world 

sea villa 

infinity 

Damn The Plan!

I had it all planned out after work yesterday,
I would go to Mr.Ho's, buy the groceries,
send Gayle home, head home, blade, and cook dinner,
pack then watch the Grammys.

Plan foiled! Not only did I not exercise,
but Gayle lured me in to her home with promises of delicious home cooking...

ended up shovelling bucketfulls of good ole Eurasian home-cooking.

In return, I shared with her 'Griffin and Sabine',
they are a collection of the most beautiful books.
A story about love, but its how its presented as well,
on postcards, in letters, it comes complete with envelope!
Beautiful artwork, captivating concept.

She fell in love with them, as I did.

Also, 'The Time Travellers Wife', which I have decided,
despite my earlier confusion, is brilliant.

Another one of my all time favorites,
'The Princess Bride'. Fucking awesome book man.

After leafing thru G and S,
had this strange urge to sit down with my oil pastels.
Worked for 3 hours, to produce the 2 child-like works below.
I don't care, did it for meself!

Off I go to Pangkor Laut now.

Aja's child-like drawing 1 

Ajs's child-like drawing 2 

The day she stopped loving me...

So its official. She doesn't love me anymore. My close friend and colleague has strayed. She now prefers her lover to me. I encouraged and now they've gone official.And where does that leave me, but here, alone, loveless, friendless.

Not only does she spend her every waking moment with her, but even in the office, they are calling,emailing, msn-ing.and I,

am ignored.

Oh woe is me!

Gone are the days chock-a-block with laughter

the days where we used to sing and act ridiculous after

She's gone gay, and hell someday I even may

why oh why can't she see?

now she's gone.... and its just

me

There Gayle, I wrote you and ode. You happy now, does that prove my absolute and utter devotion?

Oh screw this shite, I am outta here.

Mother's Day Special

Today I woke up with the mother of all hangovers, my friend Ross said, "How appropriate since it's Mother's Day". So here I am, hungover, feeling like an electric drill is whirring at my skull and to add to that the confusion of: isn't Mother's Day in May?

As it turns out, only the UK celebrates Mother's Day today, March 6th.

I had to drag my sorry arse out of bed to come online and verify that fact.

Last night, it didn't take me long to discover that Cosmopolitans and whiskey waters fuck you up fast. Very fast. Pretty soon the bad music..haha.. didn't notice it anymore. By half one, I was ready to go. But how could we when it was me that dragged everyone out in the first place? Ana had not even wanted to attempt Chillout.

She

did it for me.

(hmm come to think of it, have a vague memory of her bringing some guy over cos may and I said he was cute?..was cute, but we axed him cos of accent)

Which brings me around to why we were out in the first place.

You see, I had a hard day (nothing new?)

Okay, I woke up early, had a long meeting on bloody Saturday morning, then met family, after that friends, for coffee..bla bla. Cutting to the chase, later that night: my whole family and I bumped into my ex and his new girlfriend/companion/fuck-buddy.

It didn't hurt (that's not a lie). It just threw me off, I mean, I knew she had come to visit him etc. I just didn't expect to see them, and its basic human nature to go into shock after you see your ex-partner of a few years with someone else.

So picture this, my family members(5) and I are sitting down to eat, and my hands are shaking so badly that I cannot attempt to lift the spoon from plate to mouth, for they will see and be alarmed and over dramatise and assume that I am still in love with him and that I will eventually get back together with him and that will go on and on and on...

What could I do but text the girls and give them a reason for us all to go out and get drunk?

Anyways, pretty soon, I had other peoples problems to listen too and all was fine with the world again.

Glowing Profusely

I.just.went.rollerblading.for.the.first.time.in.one.year.

My legs feel like jelly. To give you an idea of how profusely I am glowing (commonly known as 'sweating') think: chinaman. in boiler-room. of Titanic. (not that there were any there...)

Friday.

What does one do when one spends too many Fridays in Penang?

Crap. its too much to think about, I'm spared cos I have a meeting at 10 am tomoro anyways, so its early night for moi.

or not.

Anyway, gotta run.Shower,(PBA mantra playing in head: save water during this dry season, penang's reservoirs are down 50% - take quicker showers) change and go pick those Californians up, dinner at 32, jazz after.

Looking forward to 'A New York State of Mind'. Sing it nice, then I'll be impressed.

Guess who's been invited aboard 'The World' cruise ship to write about it, when it docks near the exclusive private island of Pangkor Laut next week?

Why, you genius you.....

Random Shrandom

Ran down to 7-11 bought 2 yoghurt drinks, mango and strawberry.
I just said to G.( She has humongous tits)
Wouldn't it be cool if her breasts produced yoghurt shakes? We could stand her topless behind a stall on those hot, hot days and charge RM1 per suckle...
Just a random thought to share!

Defining Normality

I have a bone to pick. It’s with our circle, our community, our culture. It’s with the way people jump to conclusions, gossip and assume they know everything about you from what they see, its with the way they judge without looking at themselves first.

Why is it so hard to let a person live his or her life without passing judgement upon them? If a person is bi-sexual, gay, or even say, a hippie, and happy with it, why can we just not leave them be? Why must we judge and comment?

What gives you the right to label someone?

I resent that so many people have so much to say about me if I have a male friend that’s visiting, and I go out to dinner with him alone. It doesnt mean that I slept with him, or will EVER sleep with him. I cannot believe that waiters, bartenders and other nosy people think they can summarise me in a nutshell by the company I keep,or what I do, when they know absolutely jack-shit about me.

A part of me understands that it’s the way they’ve been raised, the way things are perceived in this community, the lack of knowledge and experience of somewhere and something other than here. The absence of a need to progress from what you are now, to what you can become.

It’s typically this small-town thinking and narrow mindedness that keeps them doing what they are doing today. And it is me, who evolves, moving away from that train of thought, that puts me where I am today, and who is happier? Me, or you? Who is it that's the actual 'freak'?

I live my life doing what I want to do, what satisfies me, makes me happy, makes me complete. I say, ‘ Fuck what they think, do they know me? Deep down inside? Do they understand the fundamentals of being a true friend?’. Do they gain that satisfaction each day, of knowing that they live a full life?

You see to me, it’s very simple. I have my close friends, family, and I know that they will love me and accept me for who I am, doing what I choose to do. I know that ultimately, my happiness is all that matters to them. And for those that choose to point the finger without bothering to get to know me at all, well, who’s loss is it? Certainly not mine.

Tell me truly are you happy with yourself? Satisfied with your life? How much do you hide each day? So many people are so quick to resent us, shall we say, free-spirited ones. They don't have the mental capacity to accept more than what they 'know'. And truthfully, not only do they lack the courage to be open, but also the promise of assurance and acceptance from friends, because in the shallow lives they live, they have garnered but a few true friends.

Emotionally, we are more stable because: we share. We have true friends who will laugh and cry with us, who will go absolutely bonkers when the need occurs. Friends who will let you scream at them on the phone just to let off steam, friends that will not judge you and hold your hand when you suffer after making a bad decision. We keep no secrets from each other, we try to always be there for each other.

It's the ones that point the finger, keep all their emotions in, and have an impassive facade that belies complete control but actually hides a riot of overflowing emotions that eventually snap. Its the paragon that normally ends up psycho, don't you watch the movies?

Live, let loose a little.

You see, we do what makes us happy in the open. We choose not to hide or be bound by society's grievances. We go out when we want, drink what we want, dance when we want, hug who we want and see who we want to see. We go home less burdened because we do not have to hide anything.

But they haven’t the guts to be truthful with themselves and pursue what they want, thus, channel their resentment towards us. Must really give them a kick.

My friend brought and interesting point up recently. By being openly free-spirited, having a wider network of friends and socialising with different groups, we are perceived as promiscuous, and therefore, more likely to cheat. But is this really true?

Look at it this way, if you don’t hold back, and explore what you want, when you do get into a serious relationship, you’re more likely to be faithful because you know what it’s all about, you’ve experienced it. Also, you know how hard it is to find a good partner thus, value the relationship more.

It’s the ones who hold back, feigning innocence, or are afraid of what “people might think” that are more likely to be overcome by temptation when it knocks on their door, no? People who have never tried something before are definately more susceptible to heading down that lane when it presents itself.

Because we are more liberal and open-minded, exposed to different types of relationships, people and situations, we are more likely pick and choose when it comes to a partner, rather than jump into the first relationship just because it creates butterflies in our tummies. We are inclined to thinking harder when making a decision rather than be overwhelmed by the heat of the moment, because we accept life as is and allow ourselves to see so much more. We see reality, rather than fairytale endings.This makes for a better, happier and more satisfactory pairing.

Being liberal and open-minded DOES NOT by any means, mean that we have one-night stands or sleep with the first guy that comes along. We recognize that men and women can have platonic friendships and embrace them. We accept that being gay or bi-sexual doesn’t change the person inside. We place more importance on what’s inside, how good a person you are, rather that what your outer image is.

We accept people for who and what they are inside and out.

Who defines, what’s normal? How can anyone presume that they are in any position to criticise the way someone else lives? How is it any of their business? Whose life is it?

In this day and age, I’d like to think that we’ve all progressed, that we all possess a wider acceptance level of what is right or wrong. Unfortunately, we have a long, long way to go.

It’s 2005 for god’s sake. Stop judging, start accepting. Start looking for the beauty within people. What matters is, are they a good person, friend? Will they be there for you in a split second if you call at 5am distraught over something? It’s time to get down to the basics, what matters, what makes you happy, rather than hiding in the layers that society has bound you with. If we don’t break out of it, who will?

Ultimately, do you define yourself, or does society define you? You make your own life, you're responsible for your own happiness.

These are the pictures taken with a cameraphone (unfortunately set on night-mode) during our trip to Pulau Kendy. My brother is so cute!

Is he cute or what? 

She's only happy in the sun 

Open WIde! 

Spearing a cobia 

Bren & I on that fishing trip 

Overcoming the Need

I am the absolutely worse person to come to with relationship problems right now. When I look at my life now, in comparison to the lives of my attached friends, and my life before, things are just so much less complicated.

So right now, when a friend starts on those relationship woes, its the least I can do to keep myself from shouting 'just dump the bastard!'

Being fair, I'll try and weigh it out, help both parties if I can.

But I can't help by wondering, how much do we gain when we fool ourselves into thinking that something unlikely is going to happen, that this is it, that it will last? That he won't cheat, or take you for granted or bloody hell, that he won't just be what he basically is: a vulgar caveman?

Maybe I sound a little jaded, but hell, why do we choose to make it so complex?

Our needs are basic, and if we choose, we can fulfill those needs if and when we choose. Don't the men do that anyways?

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that we do not need to be part of a couple, that we do not need to settle down and get married, live happily and all that jazz, eventually.

What I am saying is that, with so much at risk(your heart,trust,faith), we can afford to be more picky, more cautious.

Women seem to have this built in need, or rather seem to have this belief that they cannot survive on their own. That they need to be with someone to be complete. By some masochistic property, some of us actually embrace the complications,heartache, the problems etc.

Put simply, we can survive without, but we've just been brought up to believe that a woman's sole purpose in life is to find that one prince, get married and move into a great big castle.

In this day and age, the options and oppurtunities are endless. How much do we give up each day for a man, for what we think is love until you find a red bra in his toiletry cabinet? How much do we regret doing or not doing in the end? Speaking from personal experience: alot.

And why? when we can have our cake and eat it as well? I enjoy being single, despite perception and what the Asian culture believes, single women are not sluts or GO's or mistresses.(but gossip and perception opens a whole new can of worms, so I'll get to that another time).

I can have dinner alone, with a man, or with a group seven days a week if I want to, I can stay in bed all day and be a complete slob and not worry about anyone bugging me, I can go to sleep at peace come night-time and not wonder where he is, who with etc.

And yet, If I need it, I know who to go to if I need someone who will just hold me, fall asleep with me. I know where I can find a wild time, I know who will wine and dine me. And these don't have to be random strangers picked up at some pubs. But friends,people who, like you, choose to live life with less complications.

Most times, because I know its available as and when needed, I choose not to have it. I want that special thing, that love too, but that doesnt mean I'll go looking in every corner, or pine away til I find it. I am a romantic at heart, I still believe in fate, I Just don't believe in pushing it.

I think think that we tend to create a need, when we can just as easily survive without.

If a guy doesn't say he'll call, then there is no expectation, no need created, if he say's he will then, the need is sparked and we wait like fools.If you think you need a man to count on twenty four seven, then you're going to start believing it, but the truth is, you can survive just as well without.

There's always girlfriends, guyfriends and family to share those moments with anyway, and it can be just as satisfying.

To those wondering what sparked this off...My close friend's husband left her for her cousin, she has 2 kids, the baby just survived a heart op.My other girlfriend found someone else's lingerie in her boyfriends drawer. And some arsehole violated my privacy in pretense of looking for something.

www.smorephotos.blogspot.com

Oh, I forgot to say, I started a new photoblog at www.smorephotos.blogspot.com.

It's for all those miscellaneous photos that somehow got missed out in the chronological (i try as best I can!) posting of this blog. Anyways go and take a look, or save it to your picture folder, or whatever it is you people do with the pics that I post.

A minute of silence

It's monday and I am not working. My aunt passed away early this morning, so I had to rush to my grandmothers at 2.30 am to be with her. It' sad, but looking on the bright side, she's in a better place, there is no more suffering.

My aunt Priss, beautiful inside and out.

Tick...Tick...Tick

Time is just slowly, barely ticking by today. Its like I am underwater, watching the world go by in painfully slow motion.
I wish I could go away this weekend.

This computer or network is totally screwed up, it takes 10 bloody minutes to check my email.While I was initially enthusiastic about buying a TV for my room last night, now I realise I need a new laptop more. 'Zero interest installments' they say. I don't even own a goddamn credit card (its too dangerous for those who are at times, hormonally imbalanced and can be overwhelmed with a need for extreme retail therapy).

Buying the laptop means: no future holidays for a year, no little pressies for me.It means that each month, as soon as my pay gets in, a quarter of it will go to the laptop, the other quarter to rent and groceries, the rest to food,gasoline and misc stuff throughout that month.What does that leave?

Zilch.Nada.

And the room is still not complete (to my specs anyway) yet.

Will you cry with me?

It's definately not been a good week.
I should have become a freaking air stewardess..
Thankfully tonight is Friday. Maybe, just maybe, I'll be able to drink enough to numb the stress.

Yes, I am a kaki bottle, for today anyway!

Pangkor Un-done..A day in my life.

I am as stressed out and wound-up as a spring! (gee aja, what a creative and original use of metaphors..)
Yes my holiday has been undone. I need a holiday now. "Someday I'll fly awayyyyyyyyyyyy...leave all this to yesterdayyyyyyyyyy......"

On Tuesday,my entire(except, nana, Ruth, Jamal and I..i'll get to that) family flew to Australia to be with my aunt. At first, my mom wasn't asked to go, cos she couldnt afford it and I suppose with all the hectic last-minute arrangements, visa obtaining etc. They forgot, that it is very likely the last time they would see their sister and that it would be the last time the 6 sisters are together.

So, I convinced them to take mummy dearest too, and now they are gone!

My predicament, is that I have been left in-charge of the remaining members left here. And these remaining members do not speak to each other. Thus there is no 'killing two birds with one stone' and taking them all out together. No sirreeeee, it has to be each on its own, individual time spent, entertaining, helping with chores, chauffering and the like. And I work.

Today, for instance.My cousin called when i got into work from lunch. She needed me to pick her up from Sg .Ara (45 mins away) take her to buy some stuff and send her home. All before 5pm. I work til 5.45. I left work early.
At 6 I was supposed to send uncle Frank to the airport, then have dinner with Jamal. Then, spend time with Ruth.

Now, 15 mins before I am due for the airport stretch, I find time to update you.

By the time I am done with today, it will be 1 am. Tomorrow I will wake at 8 and go to work.

Don't get me wrong, I love my family. I'd do anything for them. Today its just hectic. Tiresome. I'm exhausted.

The turning of tables

Where last week I was deliriously high on laughter, this week the mood pendulum has swung in the opposite direction.

Let me first bring you up to speed.

On Thursday night I went to dad's spent time with the brothers and had dinner alone with Dad, thus updated him on my life.

On Friday after work I went to volunteer with the girls, it was thoroughly satisfying and I think I am going to try and find the time to work at the orphanage on a regular basis. After that I went home(11.30) arranged my stuff in my new shoe cabinet and bookshelve (yippie! room almost..completed). Then went to meet may and brewster at chillout for a coupla drinks. Zonked out in bed.

Saturday: Woke up early, went snorkelling with dad and bren(yes I plan to make seeing them regular as well). They were spearfishing at Kendy. Caught groupers, mangrove jacks,cobias, and lotsa yellowfin barras. Feasted. Arrived home at midnight utterly pooped from lack of sleep, sun, sea and a thoroughly bored 5 and half year old stuck on a boat. Passed out til woken up early by guard telling me that car was parked in wrong place. Went down-stairs and bumped into ex boyfriend (stalking?!? no,he claims that I wasnt answering my phone so he was worried and came to check on me....). SPent the rest of the day with family.

Let me tell you about my family (maternal side).
My mom is the 8th sibling of 11.

Yes ELEVEN.

Family gatherings, are loud, feeding frenzies accompanied by lots of jokes, laughter and karaoke.
We all love music.

My uncle Ray and his wife Rita just came to visit from Southern California. He has not seen anyone in the family for ages, thus all members of the family living abroad has come down to visit. Can you imagine the riot?

All except one.

My eldest aunt, Priss, lives down under. She has cancer of the breast and the doctors have given her mere weeks.I've only met her twice, but she is one of the coolest aunts ever, and a wonderful person.

While I 've always spent loads of QT with my family, there is a need for more of it now, thus the all day with my family Sunday. It's sad. I don't know what more to say.

Gloomy Sunday

This morning I have listened to Gloomy Sunday at least 10 times, I listen to it now. Needless to say, my mood has plummeted.

I have always listen to emotional songs, heartbreak, depression. John Mayer, Sarah Mclachlan...etc. The more, emotional, the better.

Gloomy Sunday.

This song has a following of suicides, hundreds. So many in Europe that it was banned, then America followed. A 14 year old boy heard a beggar humming it, gave the beggar all his money then jumped to his death in the river. An 82 year old man heard the strains of the music and jumped of his balcony. Numerous heart broken people committed suicide with the lyrics clutched to their bodies.

The guy who wrote it in the 1940s wrote it after his own painful break-up. When it became a hit, he and his ex made arrangements for a reconciliation, the next day she took her own life with poison. He eventually did the same.

Since everybody around me is depressed, I had better stop playing it. But it is addicitive.
I don't want to be the cause of anything.
Does it matter that the song ends with some form of consolation: that its all a dream.

Would you like some crumbs dear?

Today I almost died laughing. I have not done a stich of work.
Are you having a bad day? Well if you are, visit these sites www.candyboots.com (check out the weight watchers cards)and www.ubersite.com (read everything! Start from the ones with most 'hits' on the left and the 'hot' ones, I like the Fun with Real Emails series and the Quarter Life Crisis)

Like me, you will be reduced to a giggling 10-year old who's just seen her first willy.
I laughed so hard and long that I had to run to the bathroom, barely able to hold in my pee, it gushed forth like geyser, rebounding upon contact with the porcelaine to spray me in the face. Yeeeeechchhh!

Today at lunch I told my friends to "Try Gayle's pie,its nice today" seconds later it set in, we were all rolicking with mirth.

One day her grandmother said to me, 'Would you like some crumbs dear? I tried so hard not to laugh in her face..her daughter was dumbfounded.

Also, today G says to The Boss, "I already did Bgaik"...then, "God, that sounded so wrong!".

I feel so bad, having such a good day and laughing so hard when almost all around me are in the bowels of the well of depression. My girlfriends are going through the Quarter Life Crisis! Anyways I am here for them.

Bollocks.

A Food-Blogging Failure

A while back, I started a food-blog.

Unfortunately, as I no longer live in that house, I no longer cook.

This is because I am unfamiliar with the new kitchen and, by my standards, its pretty bare.

I miss my kitchen.
I'm also not used to cooking for one.

SO when I really start cooking again(making Bircher Muesli doesnt count!), you 'll know that I've COMPLETELY settled in.
Today it is dead, but not forgotten.

Go, and pay tribute, www.foode.blogspot.com

Blogging Frenzy!?!

No, I am not bored.

Its also not that I have no work to do( I have shitloads actually ).I have just emerged unscathed from being summoned by The Boss.

What's more, I told him his hair is too long and he looks like a ponce. He said, 'Maybe we should target that market'.

I'm actually in a great mood.

Once again the office is alive! It's me, Gayle, and Teeeeennaaaaaaaaaciooooousssss D!

We are absolutely crazy. Tenacious D makes us laugh buckets.I like Wonderboy, KARATE, and the one about kielbasa.....

My favourite song of the moment is Secret: Maroon 5, so I was thrilled that Gayle had the album on her notebook (electronic).

Unfortunately the songs were unlabelled, thus I leant over her desk to search for the song while she pretended to not sniff my hair ( I knew it! You missed me!). Something CRACKED. That would be my the heel of my nice beige heels. Bloody hell this just isnt my month for shoes is it?

I recall a cobbler somewhere in the Pulau Tikus market behind us...

( For those of you who do not have the chance to visit me at work, I provide: Words, for visualisation. We are the tenants of the top-floors of two shoplots. Below us, a clinic and a 7-11. The right corner of our block boasts rows of coffee (hawker) shops that go right around to the back of our block. Situated there is the Pulau Tikus wet-market, fanning around it, a web of food, clothing, and variety stores.)

Alas, before I could hobble my way to the cobbler, I was summoned by Le Boss. But you already know that. So I was off after the meeting.

He sat under a tree. I showed him my shoe, he showed me a stool. I sat for 7 minutes as he, pried, nailed, glued. He operates from a motorbike. Not a big one, a little c70 with a huge box that serves as his storage area in the back seat.It was pleasant, under the trees, in the breeze (forgive me, I know today I am speaking (typing?) in rhymes.Anyways, pretty soon it was good as new.

Funky Gooey Snotty Gayley..

And so, my colleague is back. She announces her coming with a big wad of slimy green snot.

AND I am trying to eat my muesli.

Boy am I glad to have her here!( not) BIarttttttchhhhh.

I've been upstaged today.

'But you write beautifully she says',
and suddenly, I can write no more.

I'm leaving my muesli untouched, in favour of a stick of Malboro Lights.

A Tribute to Muesli

Together we sit, Muesli and Me,

And there they are Curry Noodles and her,

I was so content with you, dear muesli..

But then came the smell of fragrant curry

And now I find I am no longer hungry

For my big fat bowl of Bircher Muesli.

Foursome Shmoresome

Today, I was asked how I spent my CNY hols by a friend.

I was excited, eager to tell...so I did.Then....

'What did you do?' I ask.

'Oh' she says, 'I had a foursome'.

I had to tell someone!Fuckin hell I had to someone! Sorry, will deal with the consequences of being unable to keep a secret later.

Is my life boring or what?

RedBull!you fool!

Its 3.45 pm, Wednesday. My 2nd day back to work after a week's holiday. I have yet to see the colleagues that sit on either side of me, they've both called in sick. As it's just the 3 of us who share this bit of the office, I have its entirety to myself.

Sigh...its demoralising to say the least. Or I'm just lonely. I miss those wackos!

I am down to the dregs of my can of redbull, the first one I've had in god knows how long. I had initially gone down (we're above 7-eleven) for a coffee, but redbull beckoned instead.

I hate this time of the day, its when you start feeling so sleepy, and you just wish you could sneak home to bed, while doing your utmost to keep you head from connecting with the desk. This is what happens when you go for a resort holiday and come back to face work, smog and traffic.

I did well yesterday, went to work, lunched (or rather, coffee-ed) with cel, chatted on the phone with may (why are women so complicated?what has friendship become?)picked the car up from the work shop, had an after-work martini with old college buddies, had dinner with Szufie, did a spot of grocery shopping, saw mom, saw nana, took mom for supper...and finally finally finally home to bed.

But not before I made my Bircher Muesli (which I forgot to eat this morning!),had a steamy shower, and got lost in the last few chapters of 'The Time Traveller's Wife', I cannot decide if the book is outstandingly genius or merely engaging.Well whatever it is, it was enough for me to consider skipping lunch today to go home and read it.

My room is slowly but surely coming along. I've been scouting for bookshelves and a shoe cabinet (why ,I dont know, considering that one-that-shall-not-be-named was wonderful enough to throw half my shoes to the dog, rendering them completely unwearable, then proceeded to haul what was left of my books off the balcony, down 13 floors into the jungle: Thank you!)

Thank God moving fell around Chinese New Year! All those unsuspecting parents that I preyed on for ang pows, you've unwittingly helped me furnish my room and saved me a great deal of future " I'm broke lahs"!

Getting to know me..

I am newly single and I have no memory of singlehood(9 years of going from one serious relationship to the next), so I'm feeling the ground, getting used to it, learning how to do it.

I may come across as standoffish and bitchy, but when you've just come out of a 3 yr long serious(hard) relationship you tend to be more wary, more choosy about who you decide to get close to, or start speaking to.

Its really hard for anyone to imagine or put themselves in my shoes, or fathom the damage that it did, my friends don't know how I did it for so long, frankly, neither do I.

This is why I don't like people who are too full-on and clingy as soon as they meet me, who think they can grab my arse or walk around acting like I'm their bitch. Taking-it-slow and respect will get you farther with me. Space is the most important thing for me, don't crowd me, don't force me to do anything I am not ready for , if I want to , have no fear, I'll do what I want. If you think its worth it,let me get to know you slowly, trust you, and open up to you, on my own, and you will appreciate and see 'me' better.

If you have the chance to get to know me you will find that I am sometimes too serious, but I do get crazy and go wild as well.Coffee makes me high but I love it and it makes me talk alot and come up with lots of crazy shit, which only my colleagues and closes friends are privy to.I love my friends and family to bits, so to get to me, you would have to respect and accept them.

I never really was a child, my mom has SLE (Systemic Lupus Erythematosus) and was very addicted to anti-depressants (think high and getting into a 3 car pile up) for a very long time(10 upwards at one go) leaving me responsible for my younger sister, who I partially brought up, and who til this day still calls me mommy.

My parents were divorced and my stepfather was oblivious, leaving me to take care(try) and clean up after my mom, eventually the situation became really bad, my mom was carted off to live with her mother-in-law, and me , with my dad.

Dad could not see that I had been through alot and treated me like a child and I eventually moved back in with mom; situations leading up to that and the consequent meeting of my ex(whom he did not like) left me estranged from my dad for 3 years. Its all good now.

Because of my teenage life and that relationship after, I strive for stability.
I'm a person who's still discovering, but I know what I like and don't like, what I need, when and where.I like being alone, I like movies, reading,writing, dancing. I like good dancing partners; while its nice to be physically close on the dancefloor with someone who dances well, I also like space to do my 'thing'. I love cooking, doing artsy-fartsy (arty -farty) things, going cultural, rolling around in the sand by the sun and sea. Hiking, rollerblading, snorkelling, I 'm just very much the outdoor person.

I am independent, I've lived out of home since I was 18 (which in Malaysia is a big thing, when married couples still live with their parents!). At 21, I live on my own, pay my own bills, food, gas, computer etc.I like taking care of myself, depending on me, because I wouldn't let myself down now would I?

I'm a nice person, but I don't go all out making new friends, what attracts me is a genuine interest in getting to know me, people who arent shallow, are interesting,different.

Most of the people I am close to are on the same 'wavelength' (though there are different wavelenghts...) I am especially drawn to people who make me laugh.I have a good ( I hope) sense of humour. I can carry a proper conversation, but on days when I am a moody-loner-bitch, I may not talk much, but it doesn't mean I'm dissing you.

People who know me well know that I am really shy with new people and that when in a new group, I prefer to stay quiet and observe before (if) I start speaking.To me, if someone really wanted to get to know me, they would ask questions with genuine interest to draw me out of my shell. Those that just say I'm boring or don't talk without bothering to find out why...are just (to steal a line ..) "not that into me".

If you read my blog you'll see that I sometimes go absolutely bonkers and talk shite non-stop as well, so there's a balance. Reserved and crazy.. harhar!I'm an observer at first, stick around long enough and I'll be taking charge!

Yes, I know, I don't seem 21, but can you blame me?

Journey to Re-discovery

Chinese New Year has never been a big thing with me, but this year, it just happened to fall at a time when I had decided to make many changes in my life, the most drastic being the decision to break away from a 3 year long relationship, and the slew of quasi-serious relationships in the years before that. The break-up was long, painful and bitter.

Starting anew meant venturing into the dark depths of single-dom, something that never lasted very long with me, because I never had the guts to face the reality of being on my own. It meant moving out of my home of three years, saying good-bye to a lot of the familiarity and routine that governed my life for so long.

I also took the opportunity to mend ties with my father and his family; I had not seen them in nearly three years. I apologized to those I hurt, made a point to spend time with family and friends. Another thing I did was to take a holiday, alone.

If anything, no one was more surprised than I at the decision to go to Pangkor Laut on my own. Far from a singles haven, the resort is thick with honeymooning couples and old lovebirds rekindling their flame.

My last memory of being single seems non-existent, for 9 years straight I have either been in a relationship or in transition from one to another, I didn’t know how to be alone. Yet after the first 3 days of CNY festivities, I made the spur-of-the-moment decision to go alone and not waste what was left of my week’s holiday.

First day: Finding Me

When I arrive on the island, it’s just past lunchtime. The sun gleams over the water, the towering rainforest rustles in the cool breeze. I waste no time hitting the beach. The first day is about adaptation, getting used to the island, getting used to the idea that it was just me.

I am quiet, reflective. I ponder the past, the present, the future. When I step gingerly into the warmth of the sea, I find that a blanket of calm starts to wash over me. The ocean buoys me, I float on my back.

It feels as though all the weight from my past has melted from my shoulders. In the cloudless blue sky, three eagles make lazy swooping circles, I wonder if they have a meaning, after all my Chinese name does mean Beautiful Eagle. I would continue to see those eagles every day of my stay.

Second Day: Unleashing the Spirit

I wake up feeling lighter, more energized and after a light breakfast, I make my way to Emerald Bay again. I take baby steps into the crystalline waters, the deeper I go, the more my courage grows, I feel as though every step I take helps me shed more emotional weight. I’m farther out then anyone else, the ocean floor is two and a half times the length of my body below, but I don’t care.

Pretty soon I am frolicking with abandon in the warm azure waters, I dip and dive, going deeper and deeper, seeking the coolness closer to the seabed. The ocean has unleashed my spirit; I swim unrestraint, the spirit of a young woman set free.

I become a child again, without a care in the world. I pretend I am a mermaid, concoct my own underwater dances, twirling, somersaulting. I do handstands and splits, twisting, weaving my body this way and that. I am completely in my own world, absolutely oblivious to anyone observing my aquatic acrobatics.


Later, I dry of by walking the shoreline. I relish the feel of the powder-fine sand between my toes. I am grinning like an idiot, at all the beauty that surrounds me, the skies, the trees, the hornbill that settles on the branch mere meters away from me, the delicate pink shells that line the shore. The other guests may think I am a loony, but I am happy, free.

For once the couples do not bother me. I’m no longer struck by loneliness or longing when I see a pair strolling hand-in-hand or sharing a deep kiss, instead I smile at their display of affection. I am completely at peace with me, content in my own company.


Third Day: Tranquility

When I rise on the third day, I’m relaxed, my mind is calm and I don’t have to look into a mirror to know that I am glowing. My luck has turned.
This morning, I go for a Balinese massage at the Spa. I don’t really need it, but I go anyway. My regular masseur in Penang expressed surprise during my last visit, for the first time, the kinks had disappeared from my body.


I swim long lazy laps in the infinity pool, then have huge salad at the health bar. I have no problems dining alone, after all, I have a stack of 5 books to keep me company. Next I head to the beach again. Today, I swim in short spurts, only to cool down after basking in the sun. The day is cloudy, the breeze cool.


I doze of and on, then throw myself into a hammock and plug my headphones in. I sing.
Facing the hill is not a problem anymore. Since I got here, I made it a point to walk up the great big hill at sunset each day, arriving back at the villa covered with a salty sheen of sweat, calves quivering from exertion.

Each day after dinner, I take long walks. As I walk, I tilt my head upwards, taking in the glittering pinpoints of starlight that weave a sparkling tapestry across the inky black velvet of the night sky.

I stroll the many walkways set above the sea, peer at the schools of fry swimming below. I wander through the sweet scented herb gardens and explore the deserted male bathhouse at the spa. If and when fancy takes me, I break out into song or jaunty dance steps.

Its back-to-the-basics: the supreme beauty of Mother Nature’s offerings, and me. This is my journey to self-rediscovery. After years of sacrifices and compromises, of wanting and depending, I’m learning that it all boils down to me. And that it’s okay to think about just me for once. Here, I’ve reached deep down and found my core. I’ve sloughed away the layers of old, made space for new beginnings.

When I’m about to leave on my last day, I go down to the shore and send a flying kiss up to the eagles. A short holiday yes, but so much gained from it. The ferry pulls away from the quay, the sun is beating down on the island, a sparkling gem in the sea.

For the first time, I’ve found that there’s nothing to fear. I embrace the fact that its just me, and not only do I know that I can survive on my own, but I am empowered by the fact that I am truly content, fulfilled with just me, myself and I.

The Bean and The Buck

People like me are the sole reason why Coffee Bean and Starbucks continue to flourish, mushrooming ahead in the most backwater kampungs. I woke up early the other day, and of course in between moving and etc., I had not had the time to do my grocery shopping(buy coffee) and thus had to rush to the nearest Bean or Bucks to satiate that caffiene craving.

Alas!Bean was shut, can you believe it?8.30 am and they werent open yet! How on earth do they expect hard-working people like me to stay up the first half of the morning and complete urgent tasks such as instant messaging, replying emails and posting photos if they are SHUT we cannot get our COFFEE?

Thankfully the people at Starbucks are more understanding of the situation.

I once was so close to the barristas at the IP Starbucks that when I went to Canada, I got them stickers and autographs from the Starbucks (one of the many)on Queens/Kings St. They never received it though, I slipped it in one of my books and have yet to (SURPRISE!) find it.

But after too much of Starbucks..

SCENE:

Aja walks into Starbucks and opens her mouth, Starbucks barrista cuts her off with a chorus of " One double tall vanilla latte"!

I started to go to Coffee Bean. I felt like a traitor. To make matters worse,Bean and Bucks are located side by side.

SCENE:

Aja pulls up in car, she peers into Starbucks to gage the staff's observance level, she watches as business picks up.
Then, quickly, unassumingly, she ducks and runs into the warm woodsy-nees of Coffee Bean. They don't know her here. "One double tall vanilla latte please" They look at her, confused. She realises that she's using Bucks Lingo.
"Sorry, one double-shot regular vanilla latte,please", as an after thought, "Hot, flat top". The look of recognition dawns.

They take forever to make her order.She looks over her shoulder at the familiarity of Starbucks. They are still not done with her drink.
She runs over to Bucks and they make her the usual, while she waits, she confesses, and bitches about the slow service at Bean, eventhough they are empty.
She returns to get her other coffee.

The difference in a double shot vanilla latte from both places is:

Bucks: Sharper, skinnier, somehow seems more caffienated. Loses flavor as it get colder.

Bean: Smooth, creamy, thick, delicious hot and cold.

So, I've started going to the Bean at GP now that I'm living near there. The first morning I walked past Bucks to get to Bean, who should I see but the Manager from IP that has been transferred to GP. I stop to chat, he beckons to the barrista, I throw an apologetic look. "Sorry", I say. "Its Coffee Bean today".

Want to know one more thing about Bean's coffee?

Man does it make me shit.


And thus concludes 'The Bean and The Buck'. A story fit for youngsters at bed-time.